Topic: Jingles

Adam Curry plays the famous "I Got Ants" jingle, created by the late Sir Saturday Night Bill based on Dvorak's real-life struggle with an ant infestation. JC Dvorak provides context, explaining that their house was built on a massive ant hill, leading to swarms so thick the floor appeared to move. John's primary solution for the "Chinese army" of ants was simply to vacuum them up.

A classic Dvorak "pet peeve" is revisited: his intense disdain for people who eat snacks on airplanes using what he called the "fisting method." Dvorak describes the "nasty" habit of pouring nuts into a palm and shaking them into the mouth. Despite Dvorak's personal dislike for the resulting "fisting nuts" musical remix, it remained a favorite among the No Agenda audience.

Allison Ostrander donated $1,888 to obtain her knighthood as Dame Allison of House Ostrich, a gesture funded by her father in honor of John C. Dvorak. The donation also covers the "de-douching" of her cousin Erin, bringing her to the "Round Table" as an instant knight. The family describes the podcast as a constant in their lives, with their children even singing along to the show's various jingles.

Allie Jade, now Dame Ali of the Buzzkills, donated $1,052.62 to honor John C. Dvorak's legacy of media deconstruction. She reminisces about classic show eras, including the "burning of Club 33," the Bakelite phone segments, and Dvorak's famous wine tips. Having followed Dvorak from the TWiT network 17 years ago, she expresses a desire to hone the "buzzkill" skills he championed.

Robert Kamianowski donated $388.33, noting that John C. Dvorak was "on his game" until the very end of his final episode. As a truck driver, he requested a playback of the "I love my truck" and "I got ants" jingles, which were favorites of Dvorak. The donation qualifies Kamianowski for knighthood, a status he plans to finalize in a future contribution.

Ethan Katz, a self-described "shapeshifting Jew," donated $333.34 to complete his knighthood. He credited John C. Dvorak's deep understanding of the PC industry with helping launch his own career in network engineering in the early 1990s. The segment included a playback of several "magical shapeshifting Jew" jingles in response to his contribution.

A donor requests a round table meal of rare ribeye steak and Coors Light in honor of Dvorak. The hosts play memorial jingles, including "Ants and Prayer." A meta-commentary discussion ensues regarding setting a minimum donation amount for the "Spooky John" donate jingle to honor Dvorak's likely wishes.

A California judge bans "Kars 4 Kids" advertisements in the state, ruling that the charity misled donors about where their money went. The lawsuit revealed that funds primarily supported a New Jersey-based Jewish organization rather than "needy children" in California. The hosts discuss the effectiveness of the "earworm" jingle despite the controversy.

Adam Curry introduces a new recurring segment titled "This Did Not Happen," specifically targeting anecdotes shared by Governor Gavin Newsom. He mocks a recent story where Newsom claimed an entire restaurant staff came out to hug him in tears. The hosts plan to use this segment to highlight what they perceive as blatant fabrications by political figures.

A formal knighting ceremony is held for Tyler O'Brien, Sean Stedman, and Steve Cabrel, who are inducted into the Order of the Heart. This special order includes a unique lapel pin and signet ring to signify support for the show's hosts. The ceremony features the traditional "Order of the Heart" jingle and a list of the various perks available at the No Agenda Round Table.

The episode concludes with a custom "End of Show Mix" by Darren O'Neill, featuring yodeling-style jingles and a recap of the show's themes. The hosts sign off with their trademark catchphrases, celebrating the return of the recovering host. The mix incorporates various "ISOs" and audio clips from the episode's discussions on China, space, and global politics.

The first segment of producer credits includes a $343.75 donation from Benjamin Domzalski, whose son is converting to Catholicism. Other producers are recognized for their support, with requests for specific jingles and title changes. One host discusses his ongoing transition to Linux and Graphene OS as part of a broader effort to move away from mainstream operating systems.

The first donation segment of 2026 features significant contributions from Dame Mama Khan, RS Bagwell, and Little John's Candies. Several producers are elevated to the peerage, including Sir Eric is Naked and Sir 8-Bit Ben. The segment includes the playing of classic jingles and the granting of "jobs karma" to listeners seeking employment in the new year.

Dvorak shares humorous stories from the Oakland meetup, noting that many attendees were disorganized and had to rush to ATMs for cash. Donations were handed over in torn envelopes and on the back of cafeteria chits. The hosts discuss the possibility of organizing a "peerage dinner" for high-level donors in the future.

A Boston University theater historian, Kiana Hamill, claims that the song "Jingle Bells" has a problematic history rooted in 19th-century blackface minstrelsy. The research suggests the song's racist origins were systematically removed as it became a standard Christmas carol. The hosts dismiss the claim as a stretch intended to generate media attention.

A satirical Christmas jingle depicts Donald Trump "coming to town" while referencing Antifa, fascism, and Vladimir Putin. The lyrics mock political hysteria by calling Trump "literally Hitler" and urging resistance. The hosts reflect on the "cussing" in older episodes of the show and claim to have moved toward a cleaner format.

A listener email praised the "Secretary General" jingle as a powerful earworm while criticizing the interpersonal dynamics between the hosts. The email suggested that one host is "mean" and treats the other like a "beta male" by questioning their knowledge and interrupting professional audio elements. The hosts humorously address these observations of their long-standing on-air relationship.

The hosts joke about starting an ad agency called "Kids for Cash," featuring talented children begging for donations or recording jingles. The concept includes a newsletter written in crayons to enhance the aesthetic of the "struggling" organization.

The donation segment continues with elevations to the ranks of Baron and Knight for various producers. Jingle requests are fulfilled for topics ranging from "Climate Gate" to "Jobs." Producers from Michigan, Florida, and Wisconsin are recognized for their financial support and "boots on the ground" reports.

Donors from California, Florida, and British Columbia are recognized for their contributions. Requests for knighthood, jingles, and a March 6th meetup in Orlando are processed as part of the show's community engagement.