Topic: Jedi

Alternative theories regarding the SolarWinds hack suggest that China or Iran may be more likely culprits than Russia, given their interest in stealing Microsoft's source code. Some analysts believe the public focus on Russia is a geopolitical distraction or a "kickback" against Microsoft following the cancellation of the JEDI cloud contract. Data from Cloudflare indicates that Iran is a primary source of global hacking attempts, yet they are rarely mentioned in mainstream reports.

The investigation into Jeff Bezos and the National Enquirer suggests a link to the $10 billion Pentagon JEDI cloud contract. Oracle has filed a lawsuit alleging the contract was tailored specifically for Amazon by former Amazon executives working within the government. Speculation suggests Larry Ellison may be involved in the leak of Bezos's private photos.

The security breach involving Jeff Bezos's personal data is framed as a potential liability for Amazon's bid for the Department of Defense's Project JEDI contract. The $10 billion cloud computing initiative requires high-level security clearances, leading to speculation that the leak could benefit competitors like Microsoft. The discussion posits that a CEO unable to secure personal "dick pics" may be viewed as a risk for national security data.

An academic paper titled "Weaponizing the Haters" claims that negative buzz surrounding the film *Star Wars: The Last Jedi* was amplified by Russian trolls. The hosts dismiss the study, arguing that the film was simply poor in quality and that the media is using "Russian trolls" as a scapegoat for genuine fan disappointment.

A critique of Martha Stewart's cooking shows focuses on her use of the words "scrumptious" and "piping hot." The origin of "piping hot" is traced back to the whistling sound of steam or the Scottish tradition of piping in food, with references found in Chaucer's writings from 1390. Additionally, the Pentagon's "JEDI" cloud computing contract is briefly mentioned in relation to Amazon's influence.

The British Ministry of Defence has issued new guidelines requiring armed forces members to use gender-neutral language to promote an inclusive environment. The guidelines, developed by the "Joint Equality Diversity and Inclusion" (JEDI) unit, suggest replacing terms like "manpower" with "personnel" and "housewife" with "homemaker."

The "Forgotten Jedi" from Ventura, California, is knighted as Sergeant of Arms and Protector of the Roundtable. He jokes about eventually running the FEMA camps he might be sent to. The segment includes a detailed discussion on South American spirits, specifically Cachaça (used in Caipirinhas) and Pisco, and their distinct flavors compared to Caribbean rum.

A producer from Ventura, California, donates $335 to be knighted as Sir Forgotten Jedi, Sergeant of Arms. The note includes a humorous vow to run the FEMA camp if ever detained for being a dissident. This leads to a detailed discussion between the hosts regarding Brazilian spirits, specifically Cachaça, and its use in the Caipirinha cocktail compared to Pisco.

A donor known as "The Forgotten Jedi" provided a $330 donation and several military "morale patches" featuring runes and Valhalla imagery. The discussion touches on the use of such patches by US personnel working with groups like the YPG in Syria.

Anthony Garlanger is knighted as "Sir Tony, Jedi Knight of the Coders" after reaching the required donation threshold. He submits a request for a "lewd" combination of jingles involving Whoopi Goldberg, which the hosts promise to play later. The segment also includes a coded message for "Fat Pete" and a list of $50 donors from across the globe.

President Barack Obama's recent press conference is reviewed, specifically his comment, "I am not a dictator, I'm the president." The hosts analyze the phrasing and tone of the response to a CNN reporter's question. They also mention the media's focus on his confusion between the "Jedi mind trick" and the "Vulcan mind meld."

A massive general strike in Belgium paralyzed transportation, mail delivery, and public broadcasting in protest against government austerity measures. Meanwhile, in the Czech Republic, over 15,000 citizens officially registered their religion as "Knights of the Jedi" during the national census. This cultural phenomenon is noted as a form of public protest or disillusionment with traditional institutions.