Topic: Commencement Speech

Vice President Kamala Harris delivered a commencement address at West Point, emphasizing the defense of democratic ideals and her recent visits to NATO's eastern flank in Poland. The hosts critique her rhetorical style, specifically her repeated use of the phrase "unburdened by what has been." A "sweetened" version of the audio is played, featuring cinematic sound effects to highlight her delivery.

Actor Tom Hanks is criticized for a "discombobulated" and poorly produced virtual commencement speech for Wright State University. The hosts mock the low audio quality and the "phoned-in" nature of the address, noting that a professional producer of his stature should have utilized better technology and production values.

Hillary Clinton returned to her alma mater, Wellesley College, to deliver a commencement address marked by a recurring coughing fit that required medical assistance from aides. During the speech, Clinton reflected on her time as a student in 1969 and discussed her path from graduation to winning the popular vote in the 2016 presidential election.

National Security Advisor Susan Rice is criticized for a commencement speech at Florida International University where she lamented that the national security workforce is "white, male, and Yale." The hosts argue that politicizing a graduation ceremony with diversity quotas is inappropriate and fails to provide the traditional "inspirational" message expected at such events.

President Obama's commencement speeches at Rutgers and other universities are criticized for focusing on political attacks against Donald Trump rather than inspiring graduates. Obama's remarks targeted the idea that "ignorance is a virtue" and challenged the rejection of political correctness. The use of graduation ceremonies as a platform for partisan campaigning is noted as a departure from tradition.

Bill Nye "The Science Guy" received $35,000 to deliver a commencement speech at Rutgers University, where he compared climate change denial to denying the link between smoking and cancer. He urged graduates to "get to work" and cited Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution regarding the promotion of science. The hosts mock Nye's "hip" persona and his aggressive stance against climate skeptics.

White House advisor Valerie Jarrett delivered a commencement speech at Pomona College that included jokes about the government's ability to see what students do online. The hosts find the jokes inappropriate given the NSA's failure to prevent domestic attacks like the Isla Vista shooting despite the suspect's public threats.

Former IBM CEO Sam Palmisano delivered a commencement speech at Johns Hopkins University after receiving an honorary doctorate. Palmisano went off-script to mention his previous degree from the institution, referring to his prepared remarks as a "script."

A clip featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger's signature movie catchphrases is played as a parody of a university commencement address. The hosts joke about the Governor's reliance on buzz phrases and his high speaking fees.

During the Evergreen State College graduation, a speaker reportedly urged students to "help Obama," framing the presidency as a cause for the youth to support. The keynote speaker, David Whyte, a "corporate poet," was introduced with a degree in "zoology," which the hosts mock for its mispronunciation and perceived lack of academic rigor.