Topic: West Point

Kanye West issued a full-page apology in the Wall Street Journal for his previous anti-semitic remarks, citing a struggle with bipolar disorder and a loss of touch with reality. Meanwhile, Candace Owens is mocked for her repeated mispronunciation of the word "compartmentalize" (as "compromentalize") during a broadcast. The segment suggests Owens's linguistic errors are becoming a recurring source of comedic deconstruction.

The hosts perform a knighting ceremony for high-value donors, bestowing titles such as "Sir Suki of Enoshima." They also provide a historical context for episode 1780, noting it was the year Benedict Arnold attempted to surrender West Point to the British. The segment includes the traditional reading of the "Hookers & Blow" list for new knights.

Vice President Kamala Harris delivered a commencement address at West Point, emphasizing the defense of democratic ideals and her recent visits to NATO's eastern flank in Poland. The hosts critique her rhetorical style, specifically her repeated use of the phrase "unburdened by what has been." A "sweetened" version of the audio is played, featuring cinematic sound effects to highlight her delivery.

Donald Trump performed a 100-minute speech at a rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, featuring new comedic material regarding his appearance at West Point. Trump addressed media speculation about Parkinson's disease by explaining the difficulties of walking down a slippery metal ramp in leather-soled shoes. He also joked about his technique for drinking water to avoid staining expensive silk ties.

Media outlets like CNN and the New York Times focused heavily on video of Donald Trump gingerly walking down a ramp at West Point, suggesting it was a sign of failing health. Trump responded that the ramp was slippery and that he was wearing lifts, which made the descent difficult. The segment highlighted the media's "grasping at straws" to find physical flaws in Trump while ignoring similar concerns about Joe Biden.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, speaking at Texas A&M University, joked about his time as CIA Director, stating that the agency "lied, cheated, and stole" as part of its mission. He contrasted this with the West Point cadet motto, noting that the CIA actually provides training courses on these deceptive practices.

Mike Pompeo, a West Point graduate and former Army captain, has been tapped to move from the CIA to the Department of State. The hosts discuss the increasing number of former military officials in high-level cabinet positions. They also compare the net worth of various officials, noting the contrast between Pompeo's modest assets and Ben Carson's significant wealth.

The "Clip Blitz" covers a knife attack in Munich, stalled peace talks in Ukraine, and a controversy at West Point involving cadets posing with raised fists. The hosts conclude the show by announcing a live broadcast from New York City on Sunday. The episode ends with the standard sign-off and a series of audio clips.

ABC News and David Muir reported on discrepancies in Dr. Ben Carson's claim that he was offered a full scholarship to West Point. Carson's campaign clarified that while he was encouraged to apply by military officials, he never formally applied or was admitted. The hosts analyze the media's "firestorm" surrounding Carson's personal history and his status as a top Republican candidate.

President Obama's West Point speech introduced the Counterterrorism Partnership Fund, a $5 billion initiative designed to train foreign security forces in Yemen, Somalia, Libya, and Syria. The fund is part of the Overseas Contingency Operations (OCO) budget, which ranges between $50 billion and $70 billion. This shift represents a transition from direct American military intervention to the use of "partnerships" and private contractors to manage regional conflicts.

A videographer named Micah Phillips reports that Fox News edited footage of President Barack Obama's commencement speech at West Point to remove enthusiastic cheering from cadets. Adam Curry performs a side-by-side comparison of C-SPAN, WhiteHouse.gov, and Fox News clips, concluding that Fox News used sophisticated editing to eliminate applause and seamlessly jump to a different section of the speech regarding Al Qaeda and Afghanistan.

Reports from military contacts suggest West Point has shifted focus from combat tactics to logistics, effectively outsourcing front-line fighting to private contractors like Blackwater. This "accounting trick" allows the government to report lower troop casualties while maintaining a massive mercenary presence, echoing Smedley Butler's "War is a Racket" thesis.

Barack Obama delivered a speech at West Point regarding the war in Afghanistan, which critics described as a "wet noodle" or a lecture rather than a speech. The hosts critique the militaristic setting, comparing the visuals and music to North Korean or fascist aesthetics. They note the absence of "Hail to the Chief" in favor of a military cadence and express annoyance that the speech distracted from Tiger Woods news coverage.

The decision to send 30,000 troops instead of the requested 40,000 is analyzed as a potential political setup for the next election cycle. The hosts suggest the 18-month exit strategy is a farce driven by the military-industrial complex. They further claim the ending of the West Point speech was staged, with cadets instructed to rush the stage for photo opportunities.