The Great Clip Show

00:00 Now, what do we want to do at the end here? Adam Curry. John C. DeVore. It's Thursday May 5th 2016 and time once again for your Gitmo Nation media assassination episode 822! This is no agenda. Sipping wine from a box and eating cheese on a stick and broadcasting live from the capital of Gitmo nation Frogs Legs Paris France in the morning everybody I'm Adam Curry And from Northern Silicon Valley where I have no such pleasures, I'm John C. Dmorak In the morning there we go. Yeah, finally we did it in a couple of false starts yes I'm in Paris France We are live to tape lives the tape Live to tape every so how's the weather? Oh the weather is almost perfect if it was like five degrees eight degrees warmer Fahrenheit that is about 61 But this when this when the Sun is shining is dynamite dynamite. I tell you

00:59 The city of love, the city d'amour. Which I gotta tell you...the French are really nice to us! They claim their tourist business has been hit by the... Big time, big time. We took two Ubers Well, first of all this morning when we had breakfast and I'm trying my French you know that and I've always understood if you at least try then You know they appreciate it. And they usually say something really fast and then go what? a pilot blue and ultimately will play And then they'll just start talking English to you. So big warning about two things, about the pig pockets... The guy could not stop he's like please please please we're so happy to have here! Please be careful of the pig pockets it's crazy and he said this Brazilians who are doing it here in Paris. Well Brazil has a reputation for a group is like

01:49 It's not gypsies in the old-fashioned sense, but there is a lot of that criminal activity street activity pickpocketing in Brazil. It's very high I've never been pickpocketed there and have been there a lot But I did...I've seen movies as horrible There has been movies where they just strip a guy when you're naked They take everything Everywhere even in the Eiffel Tower everywhere signs like please please be careful Be careful with pickpockets and they work in gangs and stuff. Gangs, right? No they distract you with one group of people... This has been going on in Paris for a long time but apparently it's at its all-time worst Yeah It is apparently bad

02:32 Let's see, I learned a couple other things. So the pickpocketing... Oh and a couple of producers had emailed me about this about this is another hustle another scam where either young woman or maybe couple kids will run up to say you American? You American? And if you say yes then they'll say, oh you know here pledge and it's like some tattered piece of paper. And you know pledge some money or something if you write in the amount then the kids will start pestering that you have to pay now and drag it towards the ATM there's like 18 different scams but they're specifically for Americans and sure shooting we walk up to the Eiffel Tower and there's like hello American-American I'm like 90 spending doyser

03:16 He said, okay. And just kept on walking. But anyway so we took an Uber back from the Eiffel Tower to the Musée d'Orsay which is mind-blowing thank you very much for the recommendation I mean there are no more Monet's left in the world i don't think they're all there Emerald and sculptures, sculptures in Van Gogh. The classics the van Gogh's you go holy shit I've seen that all my life and here it is yes you're hearing well that's kind of amusing since there's two museums in Holland we didn't know most I know we didn't go to the Van Gogh Museum oh yeah with a Vango then there's one out in the stick someplace which has even got a bigger collection from what I can tell but don't forget about the Monet's were just unbelievable just so beautiful so beautiful

04:16 But anyway, so we took this Uber and the kid who got... actually young. He might have been my age from Morocco and we're just chatting and he's really funny but he says you know I've been here I moved from Morocco when i was seven I've been hearing 30 40 years whatever it was He said, and I really thought Americans were kind of douchebags. You know that they didn't like us and they think we're assholes." And he said, but once I started driving Uber, I found out that Americans are really nice people and we're so happy to have you here because 25% down Americans alone in tourism," he said

04:54 So now's the time to go. Yes, I've always said that we did some horrible event go then yeah And everyone is really nice and happy were here you know It's beautiful and it's a beaver my crappy ass you know You know grade school French anyway Yeah That's been fantastic has really been great when we got a couple more days and that We have a special episode of the show today Which was compiled for us by Sir Cyber. He did the previous version of this which is kind of a lot of our gags and jokes and funny moments from... I don't know, it's hundreds of episodes he just keeps listening and plugs stuff in but i'm not quite sure his processes actually think you sent me an email maybe if I have any spare time I'll put it in the show notes his process on how to put this together but it is actually quite funny

05:46 Yeah, it's kind of weirdly funny because it's all the humor that he can compile. He apparently likes the funny parts of this show and I guess in every show we have one or two moments where something hilarious happens and these put them all on one show and now you see updated that which is what we're gonna hear now. Okay so are we going to come back? Are break yeah we'll come back right in the middle of it and uh all right good discuss a few more things maybe a little more about your trip to paris and then ask for some contributions so we can keep doing this show. And well let's see what he's got for us okay here he is sir cybers no agenda funnies part two

06:27 CBS News contributor Michio Kaku is a physics professor which means he knows nothing professionally professorally about climate at the City College of New York. Good morning! Morning So what's causing all this? Well, the wacky weather could get even wackier. Vah that's when I perk up Holy crap wouldn't it become a broadcaster in the zoo? Morning Zoo Hey everybody The Wacky Weather I don't know why i said that but that's what they do at the morning. Well let me just say that, I think you've been busted by whom? Me! Okay well... Wait a minute, no you can't, I want to tell you something.

07:16 that this is you doing some, I guess moon lighting uh...doing some show play the clip and tell me this isn't you gold show intro Gold Show Intro okay what is this? My name's Adam though many of you know me as adult film producer Seymour Butz You might remember my loved ones from reality series Family Business Welcome to our new show Come on drop that gold boys Oh man, what is this airing on? This is so cool. That's why I'm here we're doing another 13 series episodes in the series and I wish I was Mr. Seymour Butz

08:06 And by the way, you might as well play this little clip here which kind of proves it to me. Which is the Adam Show recipe for success. Someone's getting cornhole today. Sounds like a recipe for success to me! Wait a minute... This is going in The Evergreens. John, the question is okay maybe I'm busted but what are you doing finding this stuff? I have my sources Oh boy, well it does actually kind of nicely... It sounds exactly like you and the guy looks like you. There ya go. Tall lanky guy Everything looks exactly like you except you got some sort of thing uh something...it looks as though he took some sort of um

08:55 New skin or something put it around his eyes and let it dry. So he's got these really old Beat-up eyes, but except for the eyeballs nice this is you that's right That's me You got me I'm busted we already said or I think one of the one of the thesis We discussed was that this was going to be a war goodbye love Enjoy you look hot you look LA hot all right sorry Um, this was going to be not just a walk- See you at the studio doing the gold show! Get those girls in line. Was there anything that you wished you'd said Rachel when he finished and went home and saw the reaction? And everyone giving him a hard time or something...was there anything you wish you had said when you were in there? Nigga Why People The whole where I say it's a racist word Minds you around two thousands

09:58 That was not, they change it around I think. This is...I love this! Thank you for finally putting it on mainstream television that the word n***a is no longer racist It started 10 years ago and its used in common language! It starts spelling N-G-G-A Nigga, what does that mean to you? That way of spelling it. What is that? Listen to Pierce the moron idiot! What does that mean?! Does it hurt your feelings!? What would it mean to you? That means a male A male exactly... A black male? A black male?? Does it mean a black male??? No any kind of male Any man, ANY MAN thank you Black or white? Black-any kind Chinese can say nigga Yes yes Chinese thank you That's my chino nigga That's my chino nigga

10:44 Thank you, thank you Rachel. Thank you for finally putting that straight it's about time I condemn the woman now They could say that And rappers and everything use in the music? They use it Yes But nigger or nigger I advise you not to be by black people because they're not gonna have it like that Because thats a racist word But there two different words and they have different meanings in your community No, in a generation. He's such a dick! use either term if they're white and that would be aimed at you. Nigga please! Because see, this is what the problem will be But why can't I say that? You now are taking it upon yourself to... Yes everywhere To use the word constantly When we check into the airport tomorrow Yeah you should do that to the TSA Nigga please let me go i cant raise my hands above my shoulders

11:48 Please you have to keep you don't What is wrong with that? Well for one thing it requires enunciation to get it straight I'm good. There's always a problem with not blacks or white everybody has a problem enunciating so that's the problem number one and number two, it gets it's a bull Chris she's not a gatekeeper of Anything. It's just her propriety, she's not like the- Neither are you! She opened the gate and says Emily Post! Yes! She says it's okay to go! She is Emily Essinpost! She doesn't know anything this woman! She said a teenager! And you're saying oh great now I can use it! Yeah, I want a T-shirt of her face

12:31 And I said nigga, please that's what I want. Okay? Oh somebody in the audience will make that for you and you have to wear it around Texas no problem No problem. I'll even go outside of Austin even and sometimes I can be a gay white guy or I can be a over-the-top black woman I'd never heard any of these people. Oh, yeah, nigga please! No this is what i did. Nigga please! Oh yeah you say that all the time and I got a uh an email from our producers who were shocked shocked that I did this. Yeah, okay and when you did it i was shocked too please oh my please what have we come to yeah here to be clear as a black man I don't have a problem with people sounding jackassy saying nigga I'm particularly sick of this overly sensitive liberal BS about words that hurt My gripe is only that Adam's honky ass tries to sound mockingly hip when he says it at the

13:34 At the risk of sounding like a cyber buddy, Adam please stop. You're a tall white guy who made and blew millions in old media ghetto pass revokes." Well I'm sorry now that my ghetto pass has been revoked i'd just like to know is there a way you can get my ghetto pass back? That's all she's gonna have to come up with another donation if there's a way that I can get my ghetto past until then My black friend has revoked my ghetto pass. This I take seriously! Everybody else can pound sand, someone revoking the ghetto pass... That's like taking my gypsy ring so i'm done! Hey guys just wanted to donate this has been a while and guilt's been eating me away Oh no that's bad

14:22 You guys make my commute very entertaining and all the hookers I give rides to really enjoy the show. Does it really say that? Yeah! So wait a minute, so he's playing the show while he is giving the hookers rides? Yeah but he has got give rides too in quotes which i'm not going to get into. Don't know quite what that means... Do you think he's a trucker? I don't know, he might be. It sounds like a trucker... He's out in the middle of nowhere and it is the kind of place where a trucker would live If you're a hooker and listen to this show let us know! We'll make you an honorary hooker we love hookers! Honorary hooker? Well i can't wait to bring this up at dinner This will be a lot of fun Hey how about... got any babies or incubators on the floor

15:12 Oh, this you can really... You might kill your dinner thing going with this guy. No that's no... According to... You gotta ask him! Read the here the wiki page on this is quite good and then you have the clips so I would listen to a couple of them John, John stop egging me on are you insane? I'm not gonna..I gotta be careful here Let's just read the wiki page and then just drop a bomb in there. Here is what I would ask, I'd say oh good to meet you. Oh Hill Nolton yeah yeah you know I remember that thing with that girl, the ambassador's daughter with that phony testimony she did. That was great. Did she ever apologize for that? No no it's going to be different its gonna be like can you pass the potatoes I think they've been incubating in the pot long enough. Oh don't drop them on the floor! These are nice baby potatoes

16:01 Oops I dropped the baby that we're incubating in the pot Yes, I sure they're gonna. They're gonna tar and feather me and run me out of town is what's gonna happen none if I'm remember this including that guy Yeah, so I was at the EFF thing And there's a real cutie comes up to me says so what do you do? And I said podcast I'm a podcaster and so she just turned it walked off It's very strange Never ever ever say that

16:36 That is, that's... you might as well say I pick my nose and eat the boogers. It's a horrible thing to say! I'm a podcaster. I'm sorry, I have to go poop now. They'll do anything to get away from ya'. Hey, the poop project. What is this? The poop project. I haven't seen it. The poop project nonsense. Thepoopproject.org. The Poop Project is a grassroots organization pushing for change from the bottom up! We create art social media and educational experiences that heal the cultural shame keeping potty talk taboo What yeah our work promotes critical conversations about sustainable sanitation for the person planet and world community The poop project is a fiscally sponsored parody No onion. No, the poop project is a fiscally sponsored nonprofit through fractured Atlas This is a real

17:31 This is a real organization that is on the Climate March website, John. It's real! The Poop Project is dedicated to... Oh I already read that part. Why talk about poop? For our bodies rather than accepting a world that makes us feel guilt for doing something everybody does we could be creating a world that it's hospitable to the reality of having a body and all its needs Don't poop The problem We have become disconnected from our bo- The problem is we poop Don't poop ladies Stop pooping Stop there's no reason to poop if you leave it in there long enough that'll finally digest itself Yeah, it's been a while but finally I feel like and play this jingle again detective dookie This is real people. This is what we did as real money that is going to this real money It's real

18:28 Real money! It's real. This is like comedy And that is why personally I cannot be part of network funded by the Russian government That whitewashes the actions of Putin Putin, I love that. That's so sexy. She says she says Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Put Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin Putin

19:08 Poo-in! Yeah, you're just pooing. Poo in! He's poo in! POO IN! POOOOO TINNNNN!!! Poo In!! There is a student video we gotta get ahold of I have it right here Oh play Climate change and how to slow it down This is the first place winner Might as well have a little listen 1 minute 15 seconds climate change how to slow it down First place climate change category world of 7 billion student video contest May 2014 Here we go That's a cow farting. Green gas, that was gas- No! I'm telling you start this video there is a cow farting and the fart turns into a cloud of methane Yes! I'll read what's in it... I'm not kidding you here did you hear? The cow farts Listen yeah let's start it again here we go

19:53 It farts and the cloud says greenhouse gas methane. Oh, let's get rid of cows! There is one other one here which is... Maybe it's called something else? Miss American Sleazeballs that's the second thing. Okay I'm gonna see if I can read down that low-that one while we play the intro clip 1 intro clip one America's first beauty pageant in my state can you feel the electricity and mining is Rebecca Jackson miss Delaware Miss Florida Miranda

20:43 Now wait a minute, did I hear Miss Washington DC say from the Capitol where we're listening to all of your calls? Yes. She should have won. That's funny! Well, I'm sure all this material was written for the girls... Oh yeah of course! But every time they announced themselves and then as soon as they said their name then they started dancing like lunatics It was dumb and then some of them were outside so they had really crappy light. There was one whole scene of about 10 women that were all backlit! So you couldn't see their faces. Don't look at them because you can't unsee it. Yeah, it was bad. We did see that. Did you get the other clip down?

21:38 Okay, so let me get the name of this guy the guy who do they got these it's show used to have a you know used to Have Bob Barker. It was a very and Barb Barker was always seen as a kind of womanizer The unless he hosts is Bob Barker dead did he die? I don't know You can look him up and see Bob Barker was He also didn't he always sang a song at the end Oh, the Miss America song right? Yeah. But wasn't he the Price is Right guy or... yeah and he was just apparently sleeping with everybody even in his 70s He was the Hoff of his day basically let me see Bob Barker I think he's still alive man yeah according to Wikipedia he's still alive age 89 I bet you'd stil name him

22:29 Yeah, you get into it. So who is this guy? This douchebag that's the host on this thing he is gay and then all the judges were gay I mean it's become... Who are the judges?! Oh they had me like the gay they're so gay It was ridiculous and even the woman The female was she's what she but yeah But she was one of those Holly Hunter uh... what's-her-name type gay women are very different from their teeth a little bit like this. You mean like, lesbian? Yeah. She talks like this. Here we go let me see I got the judges here Carla Hall Sam Haskell is he the host yeah i think so yeah oh wait Lance Bass was the host? No no he was a judge A judge yes he's gay yeah you know these are outgays were not making stuff up here they should put us on

23:24 Yeah, that would work. It's rigged and I'll tell you why it was rigged Let me take a play the sleazeball thing where they were worth if you listen to the whole thing then I give You my analysis at the end TV host Julie Chen revealed that when she was starting out, for career reasons she had plastic surgery to make her eyes appear less Asian. What message does this send to young women?

24:02 Unfortunately, I don't agree with plastic surgery. However, I can understand that from a standpoint but more importantly...I've always viewed Miss America as the girl next door and the girl next door is evolving as diversity in America evolves She's not who she was 10 years ago and she's not going to be the same person come ten years down the road So I wouldn't want to change someone's looks or appearance But definitely be confident in who you are Alright Miss New York thank you very much Thank you so much by the way for recording this for me This is a true delight Ladies, one of you six will get a question. Unfortunately five of you will be eliminated from this competition The next and final question goes to finalist Miss Florida! Miranda Jones! Miranda come on over Come on over reach in

25:02 Deirdre Downes gun. What? Hold on a second, what did she say? Deirdre Downes gun Let me just replay that She looks exactly like Jodie Foster and then talks to her teeth. I actually came from a home that my father is unemployed. It took a lot for me to be able to stand on this stage, so I truly represent that middle class blue collar family that's working hard to make their kids be able to have all the opportunities in the world So we need to have more jobs in America. Alright Miss Florida, I'm sorry our time is up! Thank you very much!

26:01 Alright, congratulations Miss Florida. There is time it's a timed answer don't make me the bad guy All right I'm the bad guy Have you all made your choices? Let us know and hashtag miss America bring it on All right let me tell you what I've discovered in this fine piece of journalistic research that you've committed for us Jebediah First of all, this makes no sense for the Asian girl who was talking about plastic surgery. And I saw these girls and many of them have had work done just a glance of 15-20 minutes that I saw the show

26:48 I disagree and i think it is a mistake to say that Miss America is the girl next door. Under no circumstances do I want the girl next door in a bathing suit In America we want hot chicks on stage This program is misogynistic, it's anti-women It is almost like Islam subjugating women to cheap pieces of meat on stage who we then make dance and insult to injury they gave one girl twice as much time is the other you nailed it here's the times they had a four women come out and Oklahoma's long-winded 20.42 seconds I timed these answers because there's nothing else to do

27:40 Miss Minnesota comes out 1379, she's in and she's out. She's good. Miss California the girl in the tutu comes out 1894. Miss New York the winner! I had two timings on her but most conservative timing she was on for $22.79 he cuts off Miss Florida at $21.69 this is a scam of the highest order one of them, Miss New York, the attractive you know could be I think there's more attractive Indian women but she's not a bad-looking girl

28:17 She was talking about multiculturalism. That is so great! Miss Florida was talking about unemployment. Yeah, no we can't have any of that! So she gets booted by this douchebag. They flash the red light and he jumps on it because he's an obvious robot It was the worst show ever. I think Donald Trump is the only one who benefited from it. And here's my prediction, by the way... They created a bunch of bogus hatred calling an Indian woman a terrorist and an Arab on Twitter which is just douchebags on Twitter doesn't mean anything I believe that she will quit, she will not finish her term as Miss America. Ooh! This is one for the Red Book John. Red Book! Wow red book yeah red book entry as of today That way they can make a big stink about it Right because she was bullied Exactly Okay so we put in the Red Book The reigning Miss America Will not complete her term

29:17 Which of course means that the runner-up will take the crown. Who was the runner up, John? I don't remember. I'm so sick and tired this whole thing. It's one of them! None of them were good Ms. Mar... It was sitting there, the best looking one and the smartest. She's standing there holding the bag as a sixth placer And I love that... Was it Miss Kansas? The one which I have to say they used very appropriately for PR That one with the tattoos and she uh... and she was in the Navy, she is a Naval Reservist Yeah, she should be done Let me just say you want Miss America That is pretty much every American boys dream of Miss America

29:57 A girl who shoots. A girl who shoots, you know she's got tats... You know she looks like she could crack your head with her thighs Right She probably likes football Yeah! I mean and you know she burps and drinks beer And this is a great gal I mean, what was her talent John? What was her talent. I don't remember to be honest. Oh come on! Didn't she had a... no this is.. What kind of report is this? Well the report is basing my report on the timings of these answers that's what the whole deal of the report okay well you can look at rest of it up now you nailed that I think I think you've got a good point

30:36 Good point. Good work, thank you very much John C. DeBora our correspondent for the Miss America contest what will we have next? Will it be Miss Universe or what is the next meet festival of meat we'll be able to see John I have them on the calendar there's two there's four competitions we follow Miss USA, Miss America, Miss Universe and Miss World. Yes yes these are the top ones. And the next I believe is coming up... These come together pretty quickly i think the next one is miss universe and I think that his next month possibly. I have to go look at my Google calendar It's amazing! The chat room is quite entertaining

31:17 That was because every single time I hear her now, it reminds me of it. Welcome back to Friday briefings and sorry that August is over Oh in this one time at band camp? I don't have anything at the top today? I stuck a flute my pussy! I can't help myself Now whenever I see her I'm thinking oh my god It's really her from American Pie So the big news was uh... disgusting yes it is but it was a funny movie. Good work by the way John good did you hand out any discs? I did, I always hand out discs and did you have the disc in like in a plastic bag where you walk around with a plastic bag like a lunatic? No they fit my back pocket quite handily. It's better look if you have

31:58 You had disheveled a little bit with the plastic bag. Yeah, that's great CDs Hey look I'm going for One of my CDs yet So Larry Lessig was brought this story up and it was kind of funny because he was At first like didn't get to talk him cuz you'd had a bunch of well-wishers a bunch of groupies Oh That were they hot hanging around him Oh Larry! And so he finally got away from the groupies and we were just standing around with people that actually know the guy. and he and it was funny because when you see he's just dropped into the conversation as well i had a meeting with the president up exactly that everybody can't go him just gave him shit saying that right now it's funny isolated what president everyone else is moving on so i finally apologized uh... that's great you guys are very entertaining show so glad my friend rock harvey

32:59 Sounds like a total porn name. Hey rock and rock Everybody Rock Harvey is coming at you right now someone's getting cornhole today sounds like a recipe for success to me What is the example of one version of freedom of speech that has not allowed? Well, the yelling fire in a theater. Yes correct that has now changed in 2013 again scare force an organ movie theater to be evacuated last night witnesses say an argument erupted in a back row during a movie someone thought they heard the word gun and shouted the word which caused a panic

33:37 Somebody heard the word gun. What was this like a mic check? Well, do you everybody yells gun now someone thought they heard the words gone But what really happened is even funnier police say there was never a gun but some nearby businesses went into lockdown Locked down our doors and it's a little scary at first but then when we saw people kind of leisurely hanging outside of the theater We kind of realized it wasn't as big That's right, as we thought it was. So what do you think happened? Let me tell you a couple of things here first. Did you notice in the last clip and this clip both of them had some dingbat woman... And then one time at band camp- This is again to propagandize the females of this country to vote Democrat! That's correct You put the women up there and then they express themselves and everyone goes oh yes she's she's right She's right better be safe than sorry

34:33 vote democrat so what do you think actually happened in this year i don't know if some guy was and now when they have a lot of lewd thoughts about it well your your lewd thought may be close here is the final eight seconds of this report officers say the whole thing started after man urinated on a teenager in the back of the theater but uh... what's that really done again and again and finally I'm like, what a great story. Hey man stop pissing on me! This is not okay and somehow that led to gun yeah that's some of the gun wow you gotta love it this is Gambia Yahya Jemay he is the president of the president of gambias yahyah yahyah yahyah jimmy right yeah

35:32 Now look at, now you scroll down and he's with the president. You see a picture of him with the president. Now he is wearing I think he has the sheets from the Lincoln bedroom that he took and if you are an African leader you can carry sticks and beads and he's shaking hands with President Obama He's holding his wallet because something is about to be inserted but look at this stick that he's holding! Here's what I think so this guy... he's talking, hanging out with his buddies they're on the jet Yeah, flying to DC. You know they're gonna go get a couple billion dollars of which they'll pill for most He says hey I got a great idea But I'm gonna throw on these sheets and you see this butt plug I want to put it on the stick and hold it right next to the president And he'll be laughing Look at that thing! It's a butt plug on his stick

36:21 Well, it's impossible. I like it! So she is basically living her life based on stereotypes that have been fed her by the media? Yes and then I love to say things like well I really enjoy it and everyone's very polite And I always take a beat and say because we're all armed you know hey police you go first no after you But they just but you're not carrying a gun are you?! Said nah I don't really see any need for concealed carry but yeah I have one in the car my wife you know socialists banned the bomb Commie from Holland she carries a gun in her car, and she likes it. That's that just fries people's brains Keep that sound effect That sounds exactly somebody's brain frying yeah no it does it is if its you know

37:13 Okay, here's my substitutions. Essentially becomes fundamentally... I don't need the word. Weird becomes strange balls. No! Strange balls is for boatin'. Yeah no, no, strange balls because that's a trend- I'm using it as a transition because i can break the habit of saying that easier Why not just say unusual? Unusual is really what the word you're looking to use Strange balls. No, no, no, no. Strange balls. No, big bingo! Boom boom chugga lagga lagga boom boom boom boom chugga lagga boom boom I'm not gonna use it... strange balls.

38:04 I don't know, they were both started by the same guy. I didn't know that. It's possible...I guess why not? The two are back to back which is kind of odd. Anyway people that i talk to say this really a place for wannabes and weenie boys and I'm just..that what I've heard. I am not saying that please don't hack me You'll find out tomorrow when your whole server is down Everythings busted! Wannabe, weenie boys, here Curry take this Poor Maynard, you know in Australia. You're not really gonna make me play this clip are you? Seriously I just the part...You don't have to play the whole thing It's stupid! it's just so you have to read I just liked a clip because of you can visualize it and is this note of disinterest but Maynards apparently sitting in his underwear nowadays spending most of his time watching uh...this I guess its website called topless women reads books

38:58 And so some woman is trying to read the Declaration of Independence in some disinterested manner and so I clipped it. It's dumb! It's...it's dumb When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands. It shows everything that is wrong with humanity Her boobs are not pretty She's sitting there, she doesn't even understand what she is reading. She can barely pronounce half the words. It's a mockery! I've come to the conclusion that Great Britain although i think we have known this all along it not very much

39:46 into the EU for all kinds of different reasons and I realized that they put Nigel Farage, they have a bunch of people who's not just one because the Parliament has some guys including this guy Andrew Duff who you could look up. Uh...I think they put Nigel Farage in because he is an insulting A-hole to the EU members. He is entertaining! He's very entertaining but he is not what you would say is it a guy whose Sent in to represent the British as a nice people. He was sent in obviously, now I've concluded this he was sent into be who he is and he's made the most of it. Yeah an arrogant British prick who's right? Yeah! And then they got the other guy whose more thoughtful person This guy Andrew Duff. He also from UKIP I think right? No no no he's Liberal Democrat Oh Lib Dem yeah

40:40 And so he's in there and he is a tremendously, and I'm not giving this clip just to ridicule or make fun of the guy. But he is one of the worst stutterers in the history of Britain since that king that they did the movie about. And as a Tourette sufferer, um...I always feel like they are kind of my cousin Stutterers are kind of like the low-grade Tourette's and you don't have the cool stuff. Right, I never thought of it that way but this poor guy and then the thing that is bad is he actually said in his nice little speech very erudite and all the rest over the stuttering but when he stuttered you'd have to actually visualize him scrunching up his face and looking like he's suffering the worst kind of breakdown ever! Can we roll? Yes please

41:35 President, what I see through the clouds of tear gas is a democratic revolt. Clumsy, complex, messy but also moving In style it re-o-o-o-o-o reminds me of Chicago and Paris in the 19th century. Are you kidding me?

42:12 Did you enhance his seat in these? I have done nothing to this clip. This is so painful, this is painful! Straight up now, again, I think it's the British telling the EU to get screwed Why are they making this poor man speak at all?! Shouldn't this be a vote? Take it from his perspective, okay he has to go out there and suffer but on the other hand This has got to be the cushiest job in the world. You've got all the expenses paid, you've got hookers in Brussels... I mean, the whole place has just gotta be great! No taxes? It's a gem and he could go get treatment. I mean it is not impossible to solve these problems but this is not the worst of what we have heard

42:58 uh... it he this is not been enhanced at all believe me i have a little more personalists s is sixteen is sixty eight and to like follows through from such spawn ten years rule revolts in the end as sts I want to hear the translated version that they're listening to on the headphones. Oh, well you know...I was thinking about that too because in these operations always have these things and somebody's trying to translate this now it is possible if the translator can't understand a stutterer that's possibility no idea but this guy has been there for awhile so i'm sure that's been solved I'll bet that the translation for this guy speech is fantastic because

43:47 Generally speaking, Americans and British are languages so compressed that it's hard to translate it to a lot of these verbose languages. This guy if you really listen to the number words he gets out when he finally gets them out is very slow which has got to be great translations. Oh wow! I can imagine some Arab listening to him not knowing his stuttering. Right just thinking man they have a weird way And what does it sound like when you have an Arab who stutters? Are there such things as Arab stutterers? We wouldn't know! They could all be stuttering. Alu Akbar, we wouldn't know you're right I've never...I have no idea

44:32 The net effect is if you are a law-abiding citizen of this country going about your business and your personal life, you have nothing to fear. There you go! If you're a law abiding citizen of this country and you're going about for business nothing to fear. However, if you like to download weird porn or if your cheating on your wife or husband of maybe a cheating and driving too fast or you could be breaking the law in many ways we'll come down on you with wrath of God and chop your fucking balls off! nothing to fear about the British state or intelligence agents... Nothing at all to fear about the British State of the Intelligence! ...listening to your, the contents of your phone call. Not just I'm sorry I almost flubbed it there not listening to the phone calls, I mean the content of your phone calls... Or anything like that indeed you'll never be aware of all the things those agencies are doing

45:25 Stop your identity being stolen a very good job of that even to stop the terrorist blowing you up well it is going to be a little bit terrorist we have thought of that many times but if you are and would be terrorist or then we're gonna fuck you up bitch! Or the center of the criminal network, or foreign intelligence agency trying to spy on Britain. You should be worried because that is what we work on and we are on the whole quite good at it. And now we have our new girl on the block Jen Psaki

46:03 Oh God. And Jen... I'm glad you're dogging this woman Yeah, now i have to because there's something about her that I love and hate at the same time She's like a big nurse in the one flew over the cookies now she got this snide powerful like she could just crush you Yes but.. And yet like your little kid cause she talks everyone like they are six It didn't work out so well the other day. You're going to sit down and be a nice boy, aren't you? I think she's a dominatrix. This is what i'm feeling... Yeah, like a dominatrix outfit with boots and a whip. And I have an orange ball in my mouth...I'm not quite sure what's happening with this. Yeah that would be right! And you're not in my fantasy. That would be true. I might be filming it. Today is Quantum Dawn 2

47:02 which takes place quantum dawn? almost, quantum dawn as in... quantum dawn shall I tell you something here's what they messed up with this thing they should have curry and Dvorak doing the play-by-play voiceover of the parade yeah no no doing that voice you know how like Kathy Lee and who used to do that was it Kathy Lee and Regis Do they used to do that? Yeah, yeah. No in recent years... Oh and there come the gay cops! Here they are, look at them! They're doing their little dance! That was unexpected! You're supposed to be doing Alexander the Great historical stuff So I'll be saying... And here come the soldiers ladies and gentlemen John what we know about the historical significance of gays in military

47:55 Well, most militaries were extremely gay. It seemed to solve a number of problems and by the way this is Obama talking about the odds of getting killed by terrorists We're gonna live our lives and the odds of people dying in a terrorist attack obviously are still a lot lower than you know car accident unfortunately unless your Michael Hicks Wait a minute, wait a minute. Unfortunately no. We're going to live our lives and the odds of people dying in a terrorist attack obviously are still a lot lower than in a car accident unfortunately

48:33 Wow, you've already set it up. Crap man I'll give it to you then damn Well there's more but I didn't hear the unfortunately the first time around listen to this When you asked us to remove high fructose corn syrup from Yoplait original and light we were like sure no problem And you were like thanks But what about thick and creamy? And we were like, done and done. Now it's out of everything Yoplait makes! And you are all yum! We're like is it just us or has this been a really good conversation? You were like I want to talk but my mouth is full of yogurt. Yoplait... It Is So Good!

49:22 obviously sugar industry finally got their act together. Yeah, they got the right people to get in the right message out and and they use sexual overtones is perfect yeah tons of it how you do that the guy that sound like she's got the dick in her mouth yeah we're so incredibly good, quick and creamy too busy wait a minute who was there who was the actress Lisa Kudrow oh yes she and she's kind of uh... she sexy in a kinky way Yeah, I guess. That's probably one way of describing it but that commercial is a work of art in terms of propaganda Well, that's what it is It's all propaganda but that's okay Lisa Kudrow yeah she's funny I like her

50:07 Yeah, and then she's the one who can pull off the mumbling sound while she's talking. And I don't think people understand that you know the sex thing is huge in these commercials and i mean the way it goes thick and creamy like yeah I want some... You can't talk because my mouth is full It's full of thick and creamy write that down as a potential show title John Thick & Creamy You know what this documentary did? yeah 1.2 million viewers for CNN let me see what the public at large you see very interested well let me see what yeah but let me see what the demo was yeah it's like I'm in the demo 53

50:56 Well, there's a couple of things here. One this is on a broadcast show I believe this is an extortion vehicle as they all are Monsanto not advertising enough Let me play the other kid I've got This is Straw Boy another one of my favorites A young man left a message for us the other day. Oh, wow! There's a kid sitting around playing with his Green Army men and thinks I gotta call up NPR. I got to set them straight Hi, I have some exciting news to report How good is that? My name is Milo founder and spokesperson for an environmental organization And...I live in Monmont

51:44 Governor Hickenlooper just formally recognized my organization with a proclamation. The name of my organization is Be Straw Free Did you catch that? Be straw free 12 year old Milo Kress is disturbed by how many drinking straws people use and toss at him I'm telling you this has to stop people be straw free I don't know who they're extorting on that one. Flavor straw? Maybe they want to get him back into the game, i have no idea It's a seven minute report but it's not the point Seven minutes of that?! Seven minutes on NPR Yeah, yeah Oh my god, that's Clip Of The Day hit it Really!? That's... oh man, I was not expecting that Thank you, hold on Wow! Eat Straw Free

52:46 And so, some of the proposals we've seen now are talking about even deeper cuts in programs like Head Start. Even deeper cuts in education support. Even deeper cuts in basic science and research You know, that's like eating your corn seed. I think the expression is eating your seed corn. Your corn seed... It's really funny! Eating your corn seed? No. The IPCC their new report was leaked. Got leaked yes and it got leaked to Mother Jones of all people

53:30 Oh, what a weird coincidence. And they have five terrifying statements in the leaked climate report! Are you ready to be terrified? I'm ready. Terrifying fact number one... We're on course to change the planet in a way unprecedented in hundreds to thousands of years. Leaked fact number two... Ocean acidification is virtually certain to increase. I love the virtually certain, what does that even mean? Virtually certain. What does that mean? I don't know, we're making it up. Terrifying facts number three harmonica long-term sea level could rise to be five to ten meters

54:23 That's 30 feet by the way. Long term, yeah 10 meters is 30 feet but that's by the year 2100 John so... Yeah okay uh frightening fact number four this implies of substantial melting of the Greenland ice sheet and frightening fact number five Much of the carbon we've emitted will stay in the atmosphere for a millennium. There you go, there you go.

55:14 Why can't we have that? I have no idea. In Congress, that is cool! This is the BBC report which I found hilarious George Clooney...is a spy That's how it started Well that sums it up Have a video here of one of these Swedish morning shows and they're all very excited about the president and And the first lady, and they were coming over to hang out in Sweden. And so what do you do on a morning TV show? when you know and you have like the full staff and you know it's gonna think kind of like good morning America and You have your celebrities and their come on What would you do if

55:54 You know, to make...to get everyone kind of into the whole vibe of the Obama's visiting. You'd have Michelle come on and cook something. Ooh! Ooh! Very close! They didn't have Michelle come on but they were cooking something On Wednesday, President Barack Obama is on his way to Stockholm. And in true presidential spirit we're doing this Sunday some American brunch with the Eisenman sisters. Now we are preparing something very American. Yes! It's probably the most American thing you can think of and it is macaroni and cheese. And then they go on to explain... You know what she's saying there, don't you?

56:41 She's talking about how great macaroni and cheese is. Mac and cheese, mac and cheese, macaroni and cheap cheddar melt together! That's exactly what she said she said this is the national dish of America it's cheap macaroni and cheap cheddar cheese melted together that's exactly what she was saying How sad is it that that is now our national dish? Local story KTVU News has learned of disturbing new information about a deadly pedestrian accident in Berkeley. The victim was well-known psychology professor Joe Luft who is out for his daily walk the 98 year old professor was struck and killed back in April while in the crosswalk at Sacramento Street and Bancroft police said the driver 56 year old Robert Gilchrist of Oakland

57:32 was legally blind and driving on a license that had been suspended 14 years ago. And they say he may have been eating a bowl of macaroni at the time of the crash. And meanwhile there is other stuff going on in the world ladies and gentlemen, and it's back! The War On Chicken Hey when you want to wage war on somebody what you need is a study. Whether your doing a study on chemical weapons or whether your doing a study on the future of families which was a study commissioned by PETA known as People Ethical Treatment Of Animals let me tell you what's going on

58:32 The latest scientific evidence, John. Evidence! The science is in! Shows that sons of pregnant women who consume chicken are more likely to have a smaller penis What? Yes if you are pregnant and you eat chicken specifically chicken wings according to the study your unborn male child is more likely to have a small penis How does that explain the Japanese? Did they eat a lot of chicken? No, that's the point. I'm just telling you the news! Well, that's the war on chicken...I think it might be right

59:17 I had to... I don't want to know. No, you do want to know this is funny because we were trying to conceive Christina and of course at a certain point going through tests and everything and obviously they checked my sperm like dude really got lay off the weed man your sperm swimming backwards like okay so stop smoking weed for day So you had stone sperm? Hey man, which way? Which way you go this way? Go towards the light! Oh man, if I go towards... oh! The wrong way man. And so for weeks I had to take a sample to the hospital but I was on MTV and I was living in Jersey had to drive into New York So i would have to get a sample in the jar keep it under my armpit to keep it warm and I had that end at mtv guy hair on the leather jacket never thing I'd have to go to the nurses like

1:00:11 Here it is. Guess what I just did? Hey, let's see if that jerk off Curry is coming in again today! I think that you've now by doing going back to the well on Fukushima and actually becoming an Obama bot literally on the show... But I'm fighting! And the other stuff, the other one you mentioned what? It's like, I don't know what has happened. But wait a minute! I'm going back to the well saying that this is bull crap Yeah but it's like you're compounding your position on these things and it's just like this is not the Adam we expected with the flying saucers and cars that run on water and some of these other crazy things Wait a minute...I want the car on water back to that

1:01:08 No, I want to I want my in my pickup truck to run on wood. That's what I want the gas You know you could probably work that out. I mean there was a lot of cars that were running on wood All right have a fireman in the back so here it is according to US Army general which is actually He is major general Albert and stubble buying the third retired The situation is... What does he know about it? Is he part of a committee studying it? Oh, I'm glad you asked. He has a website and because now I've- Now I'm tracking these things back. I gotta find out where it came from so yeah I'll play his little clip which is It's a video clip and they've edited it where literally jump edits like boink boink boink But listen how it starts off Ladies and gentlemen be very afraid We have alternative news for you Mainstream media is covering this up

1:02:04 Very, very dire situation! Fukushima! Now you see big nuclear clouds on the screen. Listen to him he's standing in his barn I think outside this is the intro music. My name is Major General Albert N. Stubblebine III By the way great name if you add the third after anything it's like oh man he's been into this for a long time This is the guy Major General Albert N. Stubblebine III. This guy retired in 1984 and he's also known for his interest in parapsychology. He is a nutball! U.S Army, retired I'm the president of the Natural Solutions Foundation Don't go googling yet... I am deeply worried about your health and the health of your family because of the Fukushima disaster

1:03:00 My specialty is intelligence. I warned you of the dangers of the swine flu vaccine and you stayed away in droves! I warned you of the dangers of GMOs, genetically modified organisms... And now today there's a powerful movement to get them out of our food supply. Thank you, General! Major-General retired and off of this planet So while this is playing John go to... Well wait a minute I want to throw another little tidbit in here No no just go to his website first generalbert dot com Okay hang on B E R T GENERALBERT DOT COM Now i am warning you of the greatest danger to your health

1:03:51 and to the health of your family in human history. And the four simple steps that you can take for your family and your health." The situation is frankly quite dire. And that's an underestimate. Fill in your email now so that I can send you my vital and life-saving estimate of the situation, free of charge. Okay, so this is the guy that was it was the staring at goats guy. Oh really yeah He says he wasn't a proponent of psychic warfare when he was in there He's what does this guy? involved in the unit US military project to create a breed of super soldier have the ability become invisible and Walk through walls Wow stubble buying reportedly attempted to walk through walls himself without success

1:04:54 I had asked the CIA to prepare a DVD. A DVD! Which would have specific instances of evidence, largely victims and what we see means, what pinpointed eyes mean, what the convulsions mean a number of aspects and we received that this morning. and it's horrendous. That was quick! So we're having that DVD multiplied, and we're going to get it out to every member of the Senate. And possibly members of the House... What an idiot. Well I was listening to Fox. I'm so sorry. So sorry to hear that yes? And there was Anthony Weiner on. Oh wait a minute you grabbing my clips today here are trying to usurp me Dvorak what do ya got

1:05:55 Play it. Well, I'm looking for your clip No no it's your clip You're actually going to get my clip? Yeah yeah I didn't figure that I had to make the clip because you had it It wasn't Fox it was MSNBC Oh I'm sorry We've established those facts What news are you breaking here What I'm trying to get at, Anthony is what drives you. Okay, in that case ask me that question. Ask me that question. Lawrence asked me that question now! Anthony, I mean it from a psychiatric level. Dude, dude, I don't really need your psychiatric questions. Do an interview here. You are being driven by some kind of demons and some strange directions... Lawrence do you want to ask me a question?

1:06:43 or do you have me on a harangue with a split screen? This can't be good TV for anybody. Alright, you know what Anthony we got about 20 seconds left so here's what I'd like to say... Give me 10 of them! ...I would like you stay if you will and we'll continue this online and you can say whatever you want. Online?! Get haranged online nobody watches the show who do you think is online!? You can say whatever you want though. Alright so i'm just gonna stop it here because the maniacal laugh was kind of the best part but forget what he did. The maniacal laugh is kind of the giveaway it's a bit, well... play that little part again because this is not actually a normal laugh this is a maniacal laugh you are being driven by some kind of demons in some strange directions and I'm wondering why Lawrence do yo want to ask me a question or would have me on a harangue with split screen? This can't be good TV for anybody It is! Alright, you know what Anthony we got about 20 seconds left

1:07:37 Yeah, yeah that's the laugh of a man at the end of his rope. Totally! Here is and Leo isn't known Obama bot here is his dismay and disappointment and how he explains that in 15 seconds which I just am very proud to have this Only cynics knew what was going on In some ways this is what really pains me the most Is that the most cynical conspiracy minded people in this country have been proven right And that bothers me because I wanted to believe in the government. Piss bump, Leo! I think... piss bump? I hope that we don't make a habit of this sort of thing really ridiculing these Obama bots Here she comes everybody Bonjour

1:08:30 Thank you so much. Merci beaucoup. As you can tell, I do as I'm told. That's right! And who else follows rules? Um... I'm a rule follower right what do you do are you a rule follower oh yes of course as long as we've set the stage You're just trying to get me banned from the show Benched So I found this medley of, and we should maybe start the show with it because it's kind of amusing. You have to listen... Oh yeah no you know It's funny this all of a sudden..I don't know where it appeared but this thing-you can see where something goes viral

1:09:08 It just exploded into my mailbox and I have the clip as well of course. The problem with it is there's no kind of a setup for any of his lines, right? And you'll miss a few because it's just popping them one after another but but there's a couple beauties in here You can't miss all right so you have to set it up So people know what the hell we're gonna listen yeah this is L Sharpton He can't read from the teleprompter and then he also can't pronounce words Say the least Yeah, you put the two together and you get this but resist we much We must

1:09:46 Jitty about a shutdown the tortise in the race co-author of who breaks you to lead singer Bono friends Russia siganoi weaver suspect Jahar Sonaev Rush Limbaugh rush limbaugh rush limbaugh the show rush lombard host Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is Michael is Mike mockery yesterday and Tony Antony mean Scalia Kim Kardashian and the Republican candidates for Cairo and Benghazi we rank behind Latvija La Vita first stop

1:10:27 Kazakhstan, Kazakstan to college students in Beijing. He's getting lunch at Chipotle in Iowa. Bane is appropriate! The GOP's tax day giveaway to millionaires Why was traffic problems email sent? Environmental Projection Agency and what sequestration has done Yeah, and at the very end which is a visual gag which you cut off as well. It's like he almost throws up on camera Did you get that? That something... He had the hiccups or something. There's no real conflict! Hey guys my favorite. They left that one out. Yeah, that's my favorite

1:11:11 And also, the ones I liked the best were three of them. Instead of saying Latvia he says La Vita. Environmental projection agency is my favorite. Environmental projection agency may be a top and then the Chipolete. Well Hubris is also kind of interesting and then the Chief Justice So is Sonia Sotomayor What a douchebag Well, it is kind of hard to say yeah We're pretty damn funny but I guess we take a little bit of credit Yeah, I would think so and we want to Take this little break right here as a moment to thank the people who helped us

1:12:04 for show 822 but we have to do that on Sunday since this show is being done in advance so we'll have an extra little uh but we want it, we want to mention that you know donations are still needed even for this show. Uh dvork.org slash na and we should have a newsletter coming out shortly after the show's done and we'll be back everyone you're going to be back from Paris on Sunday yes uh so the idea is we go back tomorrow Friday And Friday evening, we go straight to Schiphol Airport. There's a hotel there, the Sheraton Hotel I think. We stay in the hotel and then the next morning we hop on the plane and fly back so it'll be around 7 or 8 PM Austin time

1:12:47 Start some prep And then we'll do the show Sunday morning you're gonna get a lot of prep done. I'm at the over clip again Well, maybe it's always good, but The Prep never really stops I mean, people are continuing to send stuff and that's always appreciated. Not just the financial donations but also like SirCyber of course helping us out with our day off but also all of the information we receive here and... We got some inside intel about the last show which apologies that the unedited version went up it just left it as is for now It makes no sense to go back and change it Just messes up the feed and causes a lot of problems

1:13:29 But the problem was, at the Amsterdam Internet Exchange known as the AMSIX they had a router that lo and behold was rebooting every 20 to 40 minutes. And that's exactly what we were seeing! That probably also messed up all of the T-Mobile broadband provisioning There was an actual infrastructure problem. Of course it happens on a Sunday and in Europe nobody likes to work on Sunday, so it probably wasn't getting fixed like it should have been. It still isn't! Oh man I have to get up! Oh dude we can't start with all that. Still crashing? Anyway, all right So we have another the second half here of sir cyber's no agenda funnies and we'll be back at the end And will I'll do a little wrap-up and we'll say goodbye. And of course a reminder that we will have our extra long donation segment and executive in associate executive producer segment this coming Sunday and remember us org Slash and pay and while you enjoy this wonderful exciting episode

1:14:29 propagate the formula. Our formula is this we go out, we hit people in the mouth MSNBC was live on the air when this happened. They of course brought in their top team as usual to report- Top men! Top men, to report live on what was going on in Canada. Chloe let me go to you first What's the latest tonight in Iowa? Well in Ottawa... Wait a minute

1:15:12 Can this guy say Iowa? He said, Iowa. Oh no! Listen to it again. This guy is so stupid can you play that again? It's beautiful. Chloe let me go to you first what's the latest tonight in Iowa? Okay well in Ottawa... Well and next for the day I think i need to play it one more time before, I can where I can award anything how beautiful is that? I mean this guy Is he's just he's made He's made too well you know. He's made to give me clip of the day time and time again There's no tune there's nowhere to go to you first what's the latest tonight in Iowa Yeah hi how does that happen

1:16:03 Do you think that someone, talk to Chloe, talk to Chloe, you gotta talk to Chloe about what's going on in Ottawa. Iowa? Okay! Ottawa. It's like the commercial. Do you have fraud protection? Yeah I have fraud protection. Isn't that guy great?! It's unbelievable and this is one of their stars at MSNBC. Top talent, top talent making a million dollars plus. Further, this mark also funds ongoing research and development efforts in such areas as directed energy which shows considerable promise and could truly redefine the future of war fighting.

1:16:44 lasers, directed energy are going to be game-changing technologies. Oh my favorite! Roll it back a little... Directed Energy Weapons yeah that's my kind now you're talking my language because that's what melted the World Trade Centers Directed energy weapon? Yeah, you should take a look at that stuff from above. Nice circles you burned there boys! and will do a great deal both in the present and the future to make our warfighters even more effective than they are. I want to particularly highlight the Navy's efforts to move technologies like directed energy out of labs, into killing people!

1:17:37 Good on ya, boys! Yoo-hoo! The field. I thank the Office of Naval Research and Admiral Colunder in particular for their time and attention to leadership in this area Getting this game changing technology into the hands of our nation's sailors To kill people will ultimately serve to realize dead bodies That promise of this research investment Which means dead people Cheaply Fry them like cockroaches There's more, there's more! Wait there's more! There's more! Oh. There's more. I like him a lot. I love this game changing technology you can fry people it's really cool

1:18:14 and to ensure that the Department of Defense's R&D enterprise is properly organized and resourced, and that it has the authorities required to produce the most bang for the buck. Or the most fry for the friggle...for the frank if you know what I'm talking about! This was a Lange event, I think is the name of the guy but they went on-the clip I didn't get is that they're going to give a bunch of these experimental laser directed energy devices to Israel. Well of course! Because we haven't been able to get enough people tested, that's the way I see it You haven't seen a circumcision unless it is with a directed energy weapon John So... I cracked myself up on that one Yeah you're cracking yourself up I'm feeling much better can ya tell? so the dem- yeah your kinda punchy Have you ever been hooked up to a lie detector

1:19:10 Uhh, I built one once. With a Radio Shack 101 projects in one. Yeah, have you been hooked up to a lie detector? Yeah I did when I was at the University of California they used to have psychological studies that you could sign up for and get $100 if you participate Oh! And how'd you do? Did you pass? It's not like you pass or fail but you get hooked up to a lie detector and things are pretty...I think You know here is the situation I ran into which makes me think lie detectors tend to work It was a test that was apparently a test where they sat you down in the light detector and then they showed you one of those shop class movies, where the guy's sawing a piece of wood and then the wood catches onto the blade and gets flung across the room. And goes right through some guy? Yeah. And pins him to the wall and blood starts gushing out his mouth so I was told in advance

1:20:11 Well, and there was a second movie I had to watch which was where they took these aborigines or some African tribe circumcised their kids but...or their boys only. The boy's were like 14 and they used a rock What? They chase the kid down, it's a movie. It's around. Cool. They chase the kid down they grab him and then they take his pecker and then they start pounding in the end of it with a rock against another rock to circumcise him. Awesome! Really is totally gross so anyway... Wait a minute this on Netflix yeah I'm sure it is So you can..so somebody said you gotta take this thing just to see these movies are unbelievable but he told me about the movies in advance

1:20:53 So when they hooked me up to the lie detector, I was already anticipating. You were set up of course. And the lie detector, I was watching it because there's no reason to hide it...I was going nuts and couldn't stop it! The guy says this is unusual you know why would you be doing this now we haven't even shown you the movie hold on a second, you got a guy pounding another guy's pecker with a rock. No no I just mean this was in anticipation and i was pinning the needles anticipating these gruesome scenes so it kind of tense and so it came through having experienced that I'm pretty sure that if you had a real lie detector yet somebody knew what they were doing then you could sit down and meditate at you think you can control it? I think you could lie to these things

1:21:37 You know what? You and I should both have a lie detector. We should have these wristbands, these Gates wristbands on during the show so that when we're lying it would go you know it's like uh... Bye sweetie. Pecker please bring me soda! Okay okay bye dad Don't be too late Pecker This is, uh... yes I know this one. I believe this to be Happy Days the movie. You know? I've gone out of my way

1:22:18 This is a segment of the show that I believe is important because it has a little light levity and you always fail to guess the name of the movies. Don't think your taking this seriously, this time I gave you every hint in the world! Then it must be called Pecker or something? Exactly its PECKER! I have no idea what's called pecker, look it up! I've never heard of this movie Yes, it was on Epics. I've never heard of this movie! It's interesting you bring that up because i felt that i really did need to brush up on some of my movie skills and there are a number of movies...I realize I really suck at this. I'll give you a chance redeem yourself We're gonna start over? No, your going in the studio tossing it to me outside on location ready

1:23:09 And with the weather, we've got Adam Curry out there on the street. Adam? John! Thank you very much yes as you can see uh... We've got the wind machine and thunder snow here I'm in 18 feet of snow. I'm standing here with a family of 33 undocumented immigrants and on behalf of The Novagenda Show i want to let you know that we have notified our lawyers. We have cancelled all contracts and projects with Bill Cosby Thank you Adam be well Be safe, I think be so be safe right? So I just encapsulated the entire news

1:23:46 That's pretty much it. 25 seconds. That is exactly what is going on and apparently Bill Cosby is now running the kids through Guatemala What a bastard! Who else is full of crap and has literally crapped in the White House? Al Roker, listen to this news Hey thanks so much guys these folks from Moore Oklahoma they survived that EF5 And there could be more bad weather like that take a look at this I will say he actually said EF 5 I'll give him that one He did put the e in front but now Kansas, this is Smith Center, KS. Let's go to the video of this storm and you can see this EF3 tornado it was captured by two guys Sean Casey and Brandon Ivey they have a special vehicle that actually went over and it actually hunkers down its weighs 16 thousand tons they were able to survive don't try this at home by any means. 16 thousands tons really? I dont think thats right

1:24:41 Like three million pounds Al 16 okay now my Thousand thousand tons sixteen thousand tons. What do you get another day order and deeper in depth? Perfect! John, now I just want the audience to know that at no point did you or i have any conversation about what I was going to discuss for what you are going to discuss. This is pure coincidence No we do this routinely because were essentially uh... it's just a disreported why the show so good We're two hearts beating as one? No anything but that Sorry

1:25:34 Okay, but here's another favorite. You also need an assessment that capture is not feasible at the time of the operation now I like this because you do that because it's not a deal. Yeah, so you get your L walker Walker Let me try let me try it. Let me try it. No, I'm trying to Major John Dvorak have you assessed if we can capture this Allah walking dude? Oh Do we have him on the drone monitor? Yes, and? Are there any nearby soldiers right by him at the moment? Looks... I'm pretty sure there aren't.

1:26:14 Fire. Wait, you have to assess the capture! I did. A Gloria Allred is always there when there's money to be made although i think she's pretty real she represents women but whenever there's a book deal or movie deal or something she's always right on it and she did a press conference with this woman She says something that cracked me up Remember this is the whole reason for this press conference is she wanted to make sure that her client was not represented as a cannibal as well Anka and I are very concerned about the issue of cannibalism And the number of cases that are being reported in other states and countries such as Alabama Canada Maryland

1:27:03 Japan and Sweden. Wow, I had no idea cannibalism was so rampant John! It's crazy Now let's talk about cannibalism with Gloria Allred Jokes are being made about this issue on late night television This is horrible you can't joke about cannibalism For example last night Adam Sandler did a comic bit about it on Jimmy Kimmel But cannibalism is a serious issue and it's very dangerous to the health and well-being of both the cannibal, and the victim. That just cracked me up! It's very dangerous to you if your face is being eaten off? Yeah that sure appears to be the case. Very dangerous...to the victim. Duh!

1:27:48 The gruesome face-eating attack in Miami could be part of a trend. It's a trend, John! A trend? It's a trend! This one story is all of the sudden is a trend?! What evidence is there for this? What are you gonna do after the show, John? I'm gonna go bite face. Yeah man, I gotta bite me some face too! Yeah i hear all the cool kids are doing it It's a trend... It-it's the real news outfit This guy is great But as he begins to catch on Officials are racing to learn more What's your name? What? So they have some YouTube clips of kids who are on bath salt. This is great. Officials are racing to learn more. What's your name? I'm on bath salt! This is the effect of so-called bath salts, and this... benign by name deadly by nature

1:28:50 Donating on bath salts, I can't do that voice. So i think this is your first donation from someone lifted on that John please read this in your best bath salts voice I have to admit, this is probably another annoying donation due to Adam's twitt appearance on 520. I heard the name Curry and made the MTV connection. I was impressed with your presence and knowledge in that it was you had me at Facebook as overvalued. I checked up on a resource who would learn you effectively called The Book of Knowledge and made the obvious connect Wikipedia mentioned you claim to be bi-curious. I did some further research and there was someone named Mickey could it be? Did Adams Bi-Curiosity just migrate to bi, i learned otherwise That's a good bath salt voice It's the only thing when I got... I like it yeah its kind of Adderally

1:29:42 Yeah, that's nice. Well cool anyway. Oh you got a song stuck in your head I want everyone to know you won't get that stuck in anyone's head yes Yes have enough of the two everybody oh it's master of the house the charm and Tell us a saucy tale. Well, you're the master of the house. Yes doling out the charm this is on MSNBC This is they're interviewing a somewhat sore loser Volunteered for Barrett voted today You say you're very disappointed a lot of folks here outside the Capitol sharing your opinion tonight We're not just disappointed this is the end of democracy we just got out spent 34 million to four million dollars

1:30:43 This was this was the biggest election in America, and I hope you keep me on tonight Because this hurts us all every single one of you out there in the nation if you're watching Democracy died tonight very emotional. I'm very emotional because we all had a lot invested in this This was it if we didn't win tonight the end of the USA as we know it just happened That's it. We just got out spent 34 million to 4 million dollars and we don't have any other resource left but the people you see here behind me, and if the people you see here behind me can't get it done tonight? It's done! Democracy is dead by the way that's a bogus 34 to 4.

1:31:36 I've done that. No, no with which one? Actually with Jay we had her on a leash for awhile and then I think Jason was on the leash. I am so against that! That is so wrong! There's a bunch of people who use this it works great. John! The worst thing is to have the kid running because these kids like to take off like a rocket You do you have a zimmer frame? What's wrong with you man hold on the kids hand I am so against this whenever. I see that I give these parents scouring looks That's not okay put your kid on a leash around it was you didn't you had one kid So anyway, my kid wandered off. I kept my eye on her

1:32:15 Did you have a little shocker for when they left the yard? Like, absolutely. Outrageous! Of all people you homeschool your kids yet you put them on a leash I don't know man it's a dichotomy. They're little kids they don't mind they don't care So anyway, yeah. No they grow up interestingly though I'm not going to say anything about your kids because i love them and it turned out fine obviously so apparently in your case there was no negative effects but its weird You see once or you don't see it was more popular about 10-15 years ago than is today because of people like you bigots anti leash bigot Yeah that's right I just blew my secondhand marijuana smoke on her face as she would calm down

1:33:01 Worked like a charm. I never put it on a leash though, let me tell you that So anyway, this seems like some pretty... the airport just might come in handy. The store you know they one of the things my wife pointed out Did you yank him back when like come here and you know like a yank that little tug so they could teach him? They just get to the end of the leash and they just stop moving You don't have to jerk them around It's not a choke chain Was it one of those with like a... A kid in a choke chain Did you have like a reel on it so you could like So you can let him walk a little bit and then reel him back in? Is that one of those like the real dog things. Maybe, I don't know. Did you carry a plastic bag around to clean up after them? Did you carry a plastic bag to pick up their poop? Alright i'm done! Yeah yeah... You had some good material there Not commercial but it was acceptable Open mic It's open mic night here on Noah Jims everybody I'll be here all week

1:34:01 So what happened, Toys R Us has had besides the kids don't want toys anymore they want video games. But somebody came into Toys R Us some years ago because we remember shopping at Toys R Us used to be a kind of warehouse style toy store with these long aisles And so some bonehead that obviously never had kids in their lives decided to redesign Toys R Us, where there's all these offset little cubby holes. Oh no! It was like a maze and so if your kid took one left turn you would spend an hour trying to figure out where they went because you couldn't just go up and down the aisle seeing who was there Right they'd be hiding in like the nook

1:34:41 There's nooks! And so these idiots at Toys R Us put this crazy system together. This Iseka family pack would be great in a Toys R Us if it works, anyway... Whatever, i'm still on the leash When you listen to the story in depth and you listen everything that's said, just a short little snippet. You have to really wonder what is wrong with the leaders of this world today? Hit it. After a recent Sunday lunch, British Prime Minister David Cameron realizing he left something behind at the pub his eight-year old daughter He says he thought the child was with his wife Presumably so did the British security detail When they discovered the mistake they sped back to the bar only to find little Nancy helping out the waitstaff 10 Downing Street says it was about a 15 minute absence

1:35:40 But it is particularly bad timing. Today the government here launches a program to improve responsible parenting. The Secret Service that was his detail didn't even notice this? Where's the football? I don't know man, you had the football... What kind of idiots! Would anybody even vote for this guy he brings his daughter thinks he doesn't give a crap about her So he's got her on in tow and then he just wanders off yakking to one of his buddies with the Secret Service guys all plastered looking at hookers I guess. And they leave the little girl at the bar for 15 minutes before they figure out what happened and then he blames his wife? Of course! Oh, I thought she had the baby Yeah... They're right Well you know yeah what can i say

1:36:36 And nobody, none of the news media picks up on this. This is scandalous as far as I'm concerned! How can you leave your kid? Well that only... The reason why you never lost a kid is because you had him on a leash. Well there's that but the work... Our reason to release was of course with I mean the kids will run off but we wouldn't leave it I mean how do could anybody leave a kid It's unbelievable to me and then the Secret Service or that whatever they call them yeah there's a different name are just like the constable well you know they're not paying any attention oh that makes me feel secure. Yeah this is your government at work

1:37:15 Dogs have this unbelievable hundred thousand times or ten thousand, some huge amount of relationship to what we can smell and what they can smell. They smell everything. Yeah! They could smell direction and so when they stick their head out the window it's like an acid trip for them because they're getting all these aromas from all is just a car zooming by it's just... And that's why if you notice there are always sniffing at the air The dog's getting high. He's getting high! They're gettin' wasted on all these really crazy smells and this is the other thing I've noticed, I believe this to be true too You ever notice how dogs go after the mail... you go after a mailman but usually the UPS guy coming up the steps of dog will go after the door and they'll just go nuts, they bark crazy because to a dog cause their nose that UPS guy doesn't represent some person coming up the steps

1:38:04 The UPS guy represents thousands of people because of all the smells in the truck and that he's handling all these packages. The dog thinks there is like a whole army of zombies outside. He thinks an army is coming up to steps, then the dog goes crazy! I like the thought of my dog just getting wasted Hey boss let me put my head out No wonder they have such a goofy look on their faces when they do that They're hammered Hey John, just smoked a joint. Come on do the voice man! Do the voice. Hey... John? Adam? I just smoked a joint. Figured i'd make a stone donation. I've been a listener since show one. I've donated before but it's been awhile and I felt myself turning back into a boner

1:38:58 Could you de-douche me and give me a war on chicken? Huntsman karma. That'd be great! No. She looks like a person that couldn't get a date if she wanted to and because she's grim. That's no, no I'm not going to agree with you. You have to see her on video it's different. She is more photogenic than when you actually see her moving. There's a bruerreport.com has a very flattering picture of her Well she is not flattering especially after you listen to her talk Wow! I love the one with her in the bra

1:39:50 What? No, it's not her. I'm sorry. It has a porn name. Yeah. Visa Monaco! Here comes Raven! Give it up for Raven! John are you making it rain again? Someone's getting cornhole today. Sounds like a recipe for success to me! John, you actually just did a strip bar announcement didn't you yeah do it again I know guys who do that job I've done it when I was 16 I did in Amsterdam Do the uh...do it and I'll play the clip

1:40:27 Well, no because it doesn't lead into the clip properly I'll put again on there. I like to get these things out in an ab-lib fashion What you have to do your your welcome to the stage when someone makes it rain everybody give it up for Amber You already did amber How do you know these things straight from recita here she is Raven give it up Up next Bambi! Bambi onto the stage. Wow, you do know it. Okay I'll do Raven then we get and then one come back to you. Ladies and gentlemen a big round of applause for that petite hot bombshell Janine as she comes off the stage find her in the private dance rooms where you can live like a king with lap dances on sale

1:41:33 That's where your discount coupon and free private dance card available at the bar. Buy 10 dances get one free now to the main stage is Sharona she likes dirt bikes, dirty dancing, Dirty Boys and Star Trek as Sulu would say oh my Sharona give it up to Sharona Shirley and Donna will be doing a lesbian act on stage two Bring them up bring him up Jolene Donna these two hotties can be seen at the club on Wednesday mud wrestling Today and the girls will give you a voucher for free Is that it yeah, then we had someone to forget his wallet in the champagne room Who was it

1:42:24 Wow lost your wallet in the champagne room, please go return It's truly, truly, truly pathetic. I'm donating drunk after hearing my brother call me a douchebag on the Wednesday show The only place that could find any comfort after listening to the show was at the bottom of a bottle of vodka Please de-douche before the donation and say hello to my beautiful girlfriend Sarah who is beautifu... Beautiful and who has to live with me being a douche bag since Wednesday

1:43:06 Although she says he's had to put up with it for years you guys do amazing work to keep Adams hair like that The show is good, too so he needs a... deduction. You've been de-douche'd! We do, I have to say that we do a lot of work on my hair as for that's sure okay here we go yeah once again reassured by complaining under skepticism all things ministry of truth derp as of lately i want to thank you both for the best I wanted to give a karma shout to my two particular slaves named real rudder and Garrick Penn the latter for telling me about no agenda now a donor not a boner slay you've got karma John I just gotta say, I love you man

1:44:08 I love you. I love you bad! in the navy I want to go now sounds good sounds good people yeah that's a recruiting job right there we need more ways heterosexual orgies yes very very nice very nice um it was sounds like they got caught

1:44:52 I think someone...I don't know. Somebody ratted him out! Oh no, no, there was something on video or some idiot filmed it on their phone. Some douchebag ruined it for everybody. Yeah because he wanted to show his buddies. Dude she looks so awesome you douche. Look at what Audrey's doing yeah she's pulling a train. I haven't actually heard you say that ever 41 30 Audrey and why Audrey is Audrey pulling the train?

1:45:30 Oh, that actually hurt my side. Aw man... Damn! It's like you know like a donkey punch almost Donkey Punch? Do you know what a donkey punch is? I don't even know what that is! Google it! Mmmmm John! Just google Donkey Punch my friend! Okay look at Donkey Punch The chat room's going like, oh jeez. Sexual practice known as the during donkey style sex especially anal and reported practice involves a da-da-dah punching the part of the back of their head? Oh please! That's exactly how I feel

1:46:14 I got Derm donkey punched. Can't believe you and Mimi haven't tried that one out! As Adam said, If Jadid reads the title so well then he will be unfaithful to the laws of the land John. Ask Bobby. There's nothing funnier than making you say stuff in Dutch Benj, Don, Vat, Julie, Don, Julie, Jin, Gewoon, Fantastisch. That you know your Dutch you when you go to Holland You're getting laid so bad my friend if you just say that okay what you just said there was great Martin van Gullen in Benin and Luwen

1:47:10 You know, he sends in this donation just to hear you mess it up. It's Martijn van Galenlast. Yeah! Martijn... Van Galenlast. Van Halenlast. Galenlast. Van Halenlast. Galen. Galen. Beneden Leeuwen? Ja. Geert van Triep. Geert van Triep. Trijpe. Trijpe. Trijpe. Trijpe. Fred right here forget it. Yeah, I'm free kids one time get it together man. That's right. Yes, that's right Yeah, there you go nailed it yeah. Oh yeah, yeah nailed it oh yeah awesome

1:47:51 Jaron van Arrrr. Uh, okay let's try Jeroen. Joran? Van Aarrr! Just don't be a dick just do it Jeroen. Jeroen There you go van Arrr. Van Arrr From Schyke. Schyeike Schyke Schryke Schyyyke Schryke No, schyke. Schryke Close enough. Uh, Jaron uh... Hunniga Okay, Jeroen Huttinga You're ruining Höttinga. Höttinga? Höttinga! Just don't make fun of it, just try to do it. Höttinga. Höttinga?! There's no N you're putting an n where there is none. Höttinga!

1:48:31 Huttinga. I can't get the N in there, there's a T in there! But you're putting the N before the T it's Huttingha. Oh I see what your saying... okay your right In Wenningen. Wageningen. Yeah okay 207. Thank You Jeroen The head of the Eurogroup of Finance Ministers Geron Jechebom said at New Bailout She's worse than you are! The guys name is Jeroen Dijsselbloem. Now say after me, repeat after me, Jeroen Dijsselbloem. Jeroen Dijsselbloem. The head of the Eurogroup of Finance Ministers, Jeron Juchelbaum said... Juchelbaum? Oh I like that. What a dick

1:49:24 Yerun Geiselblum. Say it again Johnny, you can do it better than Amy Goodman! Yerun Geiselblum. For a new financial lifeline the head of the Eurogroup of Finance Ministers Geron Gieselblom said that new bailout program could be negotiated but only if the Greek government backs down from its rejection of austerity demands Very nice of Yerun Gieselblum Unfortunately for her... Yerun Geiselblum But here is on CNN another epic fail just to give you an idea of the level of understanding of technology What is I guess what happened here? Is The one lady who got through on And was able to register and I don't even know if she actually I think that the one lady there's one in Iowa, Ohio Got through the other day. The one with Obama the one who was in the Rose Garden and she was the one

1:50:19 So the way she got through, apparently it took her like four hours and she had to clean her cash and her cookies. In order to create, and they did that with us. Oh that's a good one! Yeah so but here's how it comes across on CNN It took her seven hours on the phone and online eventually she had to go through and clean out all the cookies from her cache And then she was able to sign up at Sheen Her cache? Ooh clip of the day already Really I get it now oh my god I wasn't prepared for that I mean seriously this is what passes for news she had to clean out her cachet you know maybe she did have to clean out her cache. Maybe her cachet was the problem start with, hey lady your attitude is not right let's work on that cachet. Cachet... Wow What do you think we need a mascot?

1:51:17 mascot mascots always got the kid the kids love them and I love a mascot well chicken well you can wait for people so what we're trying to accomplish is this about 80 percent of the threat roughly, is something that the private sector can absolutely handle. We can handle through education you know the Freddy the Firewall PSA is coming to you real soon about how you can protect your own network. I can't wait! You're on a roll today! Hey, it's ready the firewall. Do you want to keep bad Russians? I mean people from countries with netters letter that starts with R out of your computer Well, you don't have a computer because you only have an iPad You can actually learn how to do anything on it but Freddy's gonna protect you. That's pretty much

1:52:10 Hey, I think you found your voiceover gig. Hey! Hey kids! You can't watch porn that can't get in because Freddy the Firewall is protecting you! Oh no! You can't download the podcast from The No Agenda Show! Freddy the Fire's protecting you! I think you're right. If I got one and nailed it... You nailed it? You should do a bunch of PSAs every quarter of your spare time and run them on this show. I need scripts! I can write you a script. Write me some scripts. Hey kids, it's Freddy the Firewall! Yeah, I think i can replicate it It's Freddy the Firewall Look at my voice! Yeah, now I think you can nail that over and over because its a voice where you don't commonly do that voice ever No, never. Its brand new invented right here You can do this now just jump to it Okay ready? Freddy the fire wall im plugging all the holes I like the cracking part too of the voice. That's good Freddy the firewall says plug your holes

1:53:06 Plug your ports! What do I see there, little Tina? Do you have an open port? Maybe the firewall won't- Okay. Hey let me say this In the morning to ya John C. Duvorak Whenever SpaceX does something it's like this is everyone's all oh it's Elon SpaceX! They're going to the International Space Station or they're launching SpaceX countdown we're going Little techie fanboys and script kiddies who are like, oh it's so cool! Elon Musk has shot a rocket into space! Morons look at what is really going on here. Oh Elon he's cool... He's awesome! He's Tony Stark This is from a father as in religious father

1:54:01 And I'm not sure if i can mention his name so... I won't. In the morning Adam, here's another story about training drills at schools with a little different spin! I am the pastor of small parochial school in town of about 10 thousand people After Sandy Hook because parents and staff were freaking out about school safety we called local police department to send liaison to do walkthrough our facility After the walkthrough, the liaison recommended that we invite the county's tactical response team their version of SWAT to provide training for our staff. This is great stuff by the way you can this is fantastic during a teacher in-service day when there were no students at the school The TRT, the tactical response team came to train our teachers

1:54:49 While I was expecting a morning of being told to hide in the corner of her classroom if an armed assailant entered the school, it was bit of surprise when we learned that TRT wasn't there to train the school staff. No they were there to run drills themselves! They had 9mm Glock's and AR-15 set up to shoot paint filled gas cartridges at each other. They were happy to have floor plan of our school add to their database and spent the morning shooting at each other...and walls and hallways with paint balls The three scenarios that they set up were a random bad guy taking a class hostage, an angry parent taking a class hostage and a Umbomber lookalike wearing an IED.

1:55:33 Again taking a class hostage. It seems that the proper response to each threat was to scream at the assailant and then light him up with paintballs. Father, you're great! Except for IED wearing perpetrator once the IED was identified which in this case is a piece of cardboard with the word bomb written on it taped to his chest they were just supposed to shoot him until he dropped The best part was when they asked if I wanted to run through the scenarios. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to shoot off-duty police officers with paintballs, I gladly accepted! Yes a man of the cloth When the training was over, the officer swept up the empty gas cartridges and did their best to wash up the paint filled walls The next day when students were back in class they discovered a few random paint splatters that were missed in the cleanup When one of the students asked her teacher about the splatter what else could she say other than... "...the paint is there to keep you safe."

1:56:28 I will say because this is a small town, i know few of the officers and they're good guys. It's just unfortunate law enforcement training has turned into combat training A fact you and John talk about regularly and hopefully it's appreciated by your listeners Yeah the militarization of local police One little paragraph in the email that just thought I had to share with you Share it! SHARE Alright I hung out with you and JCD hard a few nights this summer in my dreams KHAHAHA That's recent. Yeah, it was good fun. Wait let me finish! Let me finish! Hold on a second... I'm telling you when i read this just that line alone to me was like that's very weirdly sexual okay. I hung out with you and JCD hard few nights this summer in my dreams It was good fun A fire truck full of hot chicks drove by us as we were all in a car together

1:57:27 The two of you were doing the show live as we said, we were cruising around. They were listening to the show live and were freaking out as they realized who it was they're just passing It was hilarious If you have any dreams like that please send them to me This is the story of the day. Hold on a second Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine That's the jingle version here's the full sound bite Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine that's according to a study from Connecticut College

1:58:05 Researchers found that eating Oreos activated more neurons in the pleasure center of rats brains than exposure to cocaine. In the pleasure center? What is she thinking of her own pleasure center when she's doing this read? In the pleasure center! ...or morphine... You're trying to get a job in Hollywood with this act? I don't know, man. Like most humans rats like to eat the Oreo cookies creamy middle first Oh man, yeah. Can you believe that you just read that? Yeah, you did. You really did sorry to say and that's are you there because you've been cutting out a little bit

1:58:42 I didn't think so. I have a feeling we got to check Bull crap! Clip of the day Oh, thank you Well is it the question is is it the long clip or the short clip that is? The middle part that's your clip of the day because this bullcrap. A lot! Oreos are just as addictive as cocaine I love how she says it Yeah, I know. She's got a lot of enthusiasm. She's like yeah i'm really enthusiastic about the cocaine business! But she's obviously got something going on Carol CNN Speaking to CNN Secretary of State John Kerry defended the prisoner exchange

1:59:24 It would have been offensive and incomprehensible to consciously leave an American behind, no matter what. To leave an American behind in the hands of people who had tortured him cut off his head for any number of things... And we would consciously choose to do that? That's the other side of this equation! Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute Now, are you just trying to mess with me? Or are you just trying to go straight for the jugular. I mean there is without a doubt today right off the bat you get it. I mean no doubt about that. Are you kidding me?! What is wrong with this man! When I heard that he says you can't even come over there and torture him and then cut off his head...

2:00:10 And then it was more stuff after cut off his head, which makes it even funnier. What do you do? Anyway the reason I thought that clip was hilarious and when you really listen to it actually says that he had his head cut off and its not like hes going to have his head cut off. Mokhtar Al-Mukhtar our buddy there. Oh yeah Mukhtar Mukhtar Yeah of the Marlboro Man. Isn't he dead? He's dead but I think it was The Telegraph So they somehow magically found a letter from Al-Qaeda Central.

2:00:47 Sent to him. They're right al-qaeda letterhead Yes, the al-Qaeda letter found by the Associated Press inside a building formerly occupied by their fighters in Mali now you remember that we played all the video of The mile it was they found like an ak-47 and three bullets This was the big terror threat in Mali yeah this letter that the Associated Press found is an intimate window into the... They just found it? Yes, they're just like oh what's this. Why its a letter! What does it say? It wants a glimpse into the inner workings of highly structured terrorist organization

2:01:27 that requires its commanders to file monthly expense reports. Oh no! Are you kidding me? No, I'm not! Expense reports?! Yeah... And they were mad at him because he didn't file his expense reports on time What, does he work for a dot-com? I'm telling you! This is unbelievable. The letter signed by the group's 14 member Shura council or governing body describes its relationship with Belmoktar as a bleeding wound and criticizes his proposal to resign and start his own group. I'm gonna start my own group okay?! I don't need you in your damn expensive parts hello

2:02:15 First and foremost, they could get your budget in We're not gonna be blowing anything up for the next month until all the budgets are in no there was 30 bullet points in this letter First and foremost, they quibble over the amount of money raised by the 2008 kidnapping of Canadian diplomat Robert Fowler, the highest ranking UN official in Niger. Balmachtar's men held both for four months and in a book he later published, Fowler said that he did not know if a ransom was paid

2:02:52 The letter reveals Al-Qaeda wanted to use the kidnapping to force concessions in the US led war in Afghanistan, but the plan was stymied when Bill Mukhtar struck his own deal for about $900,000 for both men. Far below the three million dollar per hostage that European governments were normally paying What is this? What?! I know! This is crazy. It's a business they're running, no wonder they have action items in the memo Yeah! What's our budget looking at? Looks like we got about nine million this month We're gonna do 100 for the year How- what's our delta? Oh man... What's the Delta on uh..on our revs? Can I- I'd like to meet the chief revenue officer for Al Qaeda please This is nuts You know and I really have to believe this Do you think it's true

2:03:42 Well, I know that we've actually discussed this before and there's been clips that have come and gone that indicate they were running a business which was hostage for money business. So you'd steal some diplomat and get a check to give him back and that is what people would do over again know what the payouts were but if it's a three million bucks a pop from the EU that's pretty good money for you know, one week's work. I gotta read you some more The list of slights is long He would not take management's phone calls Refused to send administrative and financial reports And yeah, you get those TPS reports Bill McDonough He ignored a meeting in Tambuk too

2:04:29 Screw that meeting in Timbuktu. I'm not going, tell them to pound sand. Calling it useless! He even ordered his men to refuse to meet with Al-Qaeda missionaries, and he aired the organization's dirty laundry in online jihadist forums. Even while refusing to communicate with a chapter via the... I hate this COO! Sounding like managers in any company, the Shura leaders accused Belmokhtar of not being able to get along with his peers They charge that he recently went to Libya without permission from the chapter which had assigned the Libya dossier to a rival commander called Abu Zayd. And they complain that in the last unit, they sent Belmokhtar for backup and the Sahara spent 4-3 years just trying to contact him before giving up! That is just too funny...

2:05:29 The sharpest blow in the council's letter may have been the accusation that despite this history of terrorism, Belmoktar and his unit had not pulled off any attack worthy of mention in the Sahara Desert. Quote, any observer of the armed actions carried out in the Sahara will clearly notice the failure of the mass brigade to carry out spectacular operations despite the region's vast possibilities. There are plenty of Mujahideen, funding is available weapons are widespread and strategic targets are within reach! Your brigade did not achieve a single spectacular operation targeting the Crusader Alliance you my friend are demoted Isn't that nuts? It's totally nuts

2:06:14 Huh, I wonder where that note came from in reality. Nobody stumbled upon it? Well that's what they say... They say the Associated Press found it inside a building In Mali It is not completely unbelievable That a note like that existed So there is the... well its a translation of course but it is from AP, it's in the show notes PDF And it's a translation of what they say is the note. Funny, isn't it? So on one hand... It kind of... Can't segway out of this piece! No but I can't- I know, I too am just baffled.

2:07:09 But if you read the whole letter and how many pages, it's like... I've seen some letters in my time where people are pissed off and you gotta fire someone or not doing a good job. This just blows everything away! It was like he was just not doing his job Yeah, does the inadequacy come from consultation and coordination which we are in system or does it come from unilateral behavior along the lines of our brother Abu Abbas? Which produced a blatant inadequacy trading the weightiest case the Canadian diplomats for the meager price of 700 thousand euros So they're like bitching about sales Yeah, he couldn't close a hiring. He couldn't close the real deal. You had to take out a discount We do not do discounts

2:07:59 That was a 220. We do not do discounts! Listen, Magda brah magta! WE DO NOT DO DISCOUNTS! That was my German that wasn't good. But isn't that sad? It's very funny Yeah well it just shows you the...it's just nuts Ask Adam, ask Adam. Alright I'm ready okay here we go okay so there's three things that were busted loose by this book and as all is classified information or leaked out and it needs to be investigated right so let's start with the first one the using drones in Yemen apparently before this book came out a few a week or so ago this was a complete secret

2:08:44 Now, how does it remain a complete secret after we drone two Americans? Where was that? Where did that take place? In Yemen. So let's see we have drone people in Yemen. It was a known fact were droning people in Yemen We killed all walkie and lemon is lemon Lemon we kill this son in lemon all this was taking place in Yemen now Okay, what where's the secret tell me what the secret? Is what was the secret that we missed I Don, donodrontalist.com Do not drone list dot com Oh do not drone list! Oh my god... Donadrontalist. Donadrontalist I wish you could put that as the title of the show Donna, dona drontalist Dona drontalist with you This is our new code word in the morning Dona Drontalist

2:09:35 The draw is we'll eventually point to no agenda you could sell subscriptions. What do you think our nation's critical infrastructure is John? Can you name three pieces of infrastructure that are critical the Verizon backbone yeah Good, I'll take that one yes the Google Network. Yes, and I would say there's probably another couple of backbones. I can mention the sprint backbone is a good one None of those are on Lieberman's list by the way. Oh, no wait a minute stop don't go on These backbones which would be the real critical parts of the network you know or maybe I would even add okay? Yeah, yeah, I know what it is then he's got Mae West

2:10:19 May-May East, the big giant nodes that communicate our network. No no that's got to be on there because this would be what you would say if he were... If she had any idea about what you're talking about you have to put those up. All of them are wrong Chad Christian in Colorado 6969 live in Colorado avid mountain biker when not on the backcountry alone it concerns me somewhat that I'm sharing this is actually a good story you want to read this is actually quite entertaining no you read it okay well out in the back country alone it concerns me somewhat that I'm sharing habitat with mountain lions which are basically 180 pound versions of typical house cats made of coiled steel and teeth

2:11:02 The mental image of a giant tabby silently stalking me on razor-sharp extractable claws, waiting to pounce makes it difficult to relax during these little excursions. As an amulet to being stalked, pounced upon and disemboweled by one of these magnificent beasts I have taken to playing the No Agenda show through my iPhone speakers! Not only does this keep predators at bay, it's a great way to multitask. I get my RDA of uncompromised news from the best podcast in the universe, a little exercise and i get to keep my jugglers so there I was riding along enjoying the outdoors listening to the show It was the donation segment that I was thinking that I needed to renounce my boner-dom and become a donor At that very moment I was struck by one of Mother Nature's combo An imminent call! The gas station

2:11:51 coffee and green bean burrito combo Combo that seems so good only an hour before had turned on me I got off my bike and made my way toward the bushes when I noticed something flicker in the sunlight white paper Could it be my good intentions of donating? Of course! I was about to receive some retroactive karma in the form of a stash of toilet paper that must have fallen from a hikers pack What luck?! I reached out to grab the white wad of backcountry convenience and discovered, to my horror that it had already been used! And now only barely covered the ghastly remnants of some previous traveler's breakfast.

2:12:28 I reversed course and found a less conspicuous place to dig a hole of my own, and was saved from a rather uncomfortable ride home by some bandages from my first aid kit that served alternative purposes well enough. The message was clear however, donate or else! I had been spared but would i be so lucky again? It's not worth the risk." I'm crying. I'm literally crying Michael Schumacher Hold on Chad needs some toilet paper karma You've got karma

2:13:12 Oh, good writing man. But here's John Edwards' mistress and I've got to comment on this. BL writes that she expects people to judge her and her relationship with Edwards but writes at its heart this is a love story What is the future for you and John Edwards now? That's a great question right now The kids are the priority That is not a great question How was that a great question Great question. That's not a great question! I know, no i got the tumblr interview clip this is different... Oregon shooting Obama expanded stutter? Well yeah I have Oregon shooting Obama stammer. Obama Stammer?!

2:14:02 Yeah, play the Obama stammer. Obama stammer! It's not the only country that has... And then we have expanded? This is the whole clip with all of the stuttering. It's psychosis. Very cute. Alright. You better take your meds slave you gotta take them! Because if you don't take your meds, Anderson Pooper will show you what it's like to live with voices in your head. So I'm gonna put these earphones in and then try to do a series of tests Okay so now hearing sort of whispers and voices in my head And the first test is some number puzzles You suck! And they know it This is a whole piece

2:15:01 Anderson Cooper is going to show what it's like to live with psychosis and he puts headphones on this is a scientific test. They're talking to him yeah they're saying that he sucks and apparently that's what his voices say you suck any and then he's asked to do some tasks like walk around on the street and do puzzles and fold paper Well, he's got well. Yes it and so we get a mix other people walk around listening to music on their iPads all or I you know that funny you say that he brings this up right? Okay So I did this test for three minutes And I did not get a single one it's very hard to It's hard to concentrate when if it's like music or something where's an IFB for God's sake just listen to it

2:15:53 It's very hard to concentrate when, if it is like music or something constant it's easy but people talking to you is very difficult. Shut up! This an IFB! People don't know what a IFB is that is the little earpiece where the producer is literally talking to him while he is talking and counting them down into commercials Right constantly It's a skill, handing questions all kinds of stuff happens He's actually very good at this Tom Brokaw is another guy. He is lying to the public when he says this is distracting him, he has trained not to be distracted by this sort of thing and he's saying that he's getting nothing right but also I like what they've made up it was like the voice in your head is apparently saying you suck! You're no good!

2:16:47 Kill all humans Shut up shut up Back to the voices now, but it's really distracting And by the way shut up is a common thing that the producers yell in your ear. Yeah exactly shut up now do not touch that stop This is a brilliant piece. I could not make it... Well, it's in the show notes. The link to the video. What are you looking at? And this is edited believe me. This is easy! You want to touch that? I can't do this But it's just it's really hard to it's hard to focus when kind of people are whispering to you and talking to you But now he's on the street, and there's a whispering with echo I

2:17:44 Come here Anderson, kill broth. Kill broth! Hey do you have yesterday's paper? He asked for yesterday's paper to prove that he is now insane from the voices Ask for yesterday's paper Yesterday's New York Times? No. Okay, I'll just get today's. It's really it's incredibly distracting on the street to have somebody talking in your head and it makes you feel completely isolated from everyone else around you and... You don't want to engage conversation with other people you kind of find yourself wanting to

2:18:27 Engage in conversation with a voice in your head. They're constantly How about audio books people must be must go on shooting rampages when they listen to audible that shit should be outlawed talking to you and Everything they're saying relates two things that you're actually doing there criticizing things You're doing it's like every somebody is like give of course watching you Your mother hates you Anderson commenting on what you're doing, and you can't help but I literally find myself wanting to respond to them. You'll always be second rate, Anderson! Wolf makes more money than you! Kind of tell them to be quiet and it's incredibly unpleasant This is a very very unpleasant experiment Eyes down, back up Stand up now

2:19:13 This is crazy. And why does it have to be this kind of Long Island woman, you know? Stand up! Back up do this now! I'll cut you off! 20 30 40 stand up now! You're okay. It's okay Anderson. Pacify. And that just went on for hours and hours. I only clipped two minutes of it. Jeez, like five minutes of him walking around trying to fold paper. Yeah well anyway this is the same messaging we're gonna have to be stuck with this This is the last High School USA show I'm going to set it up

2:19:58 One of the characters went to a party in Amish country where the girls get to do whatever they wanted and they were having sex every which way. And, they decided that the only kind of sex they didn't have was by having a sex change and then having sex again So, the guy's gonna... The girl that was an Amish girl had the sex change The guys decided against it Old widow in my autumn years? That's the worst news of all! That's right Brad You got Delta winning hand Don't fold it Well, I guess let's you go tell her. I sure hope she takes it like the man that she now is Brad Miriam is that really you? Sure is right cool, right yeah now get on in there I can't wait to take this new hog for a spin well Here's the thing Miriam. I I can't go through with this because how do I say this delicately oh

2:20:49 I just don't want to. Well, I can't say that under the circumstances i'm not a little disappointed but...I understand you need to live your boring single gendered life the way YOU want to. Wow! You're the coolest guy in the world look at you man you're a real son of a bitch well I'll have to find a woman to have sex with me wish me luck oh you'll find one easy there's so many sluts out there and that ladies and gentlemen is Fox Network So Nancy Pelosi explained exactly who we have to thank for this. Can you think? Well Obama! Nooo! Wrong, wrong, wrong I want to say a word about Senator Kennedy. I spoke to Vicki Kennedy this morning Listen listen listen And to Patrick Kennedy before coming here thanking them for the important role that he played A lifetime of commitment

2:21:44 to making health care a right not a privilege in our country he called it the great unfinished business of our country, of our society. Hold on! Hold on! Is this the same candidate she's talking about that when Lyndon Johnson tried to push the healthcare You're stepping on the best parts and they just slammed it? That guy? Shut up slave I knew that when he left us he would go to heaven and help pass the bill And now I knew he was busily at work until this decision came down. He was working the whole time! Clip of the day! Oh, I wasn't ready for it... Yes... This is why you gotta watch C-SPAN

2:22:39 Because you don't get this stuff on the news. I heard that and like, you've got to be kidding me! That's what you did? Ted Kennedy went to heaven and worked a whole time... No agenda gold! Ted Kennedy went to heaven and passed the health care bill. Fantastic Let's just listen to that again it's really it's the whole thing is 15 seconds. He would go to heaven and help pass the bill And now I knew he was busily at work until this decision came down, inspiring one way or another. And now he can rest in peace." Oh my god! This woman is unbelievable. The Democrat Party should be ashamed of themselves for keeping her around. Ahhhh... still get jollies How awesome is that?

2:23:32 Yeah, it's pretty awesome. What am I playing? You're terrible today. Yeah, I suck. You're always nailing these! Yeah well I suck. It's his Reverend Manning intro Oh... you mean this clip?! I want everybody to try to understand, i'm not a right winger. I am not left winger. I am not liberal. I am not conservative. I am not democrat. I am not republican. I am christian. I have role in play in Christianity as preacher and pastor

2:24:28 of which I have been doing for 30 years and will continue to do. My parish, if you will is located in the community known as Harlem but i preach to the world God's unadulterated word now I do not see the world politically and so therefore please understand that I only see things spiritually At present, the reason why so much of my time and energy has been spent dealing with Obama is because Obama is the son of Satan. If he was just another politician then I would probably be very casual at most about him as I was with George Bush or with Bill Clinton but when a preacher looks up and sees that Satan has sent one his sons

2:25:21 Then I spend every week and moment of my day talking about the fact that Satan's son is here Yeah, and my age theory is nuts hold on a second There's no real conflict! Shut up, slave.

2:26:09 Manning on Fox. Oh, that sounds so much like Manning 1 doesn't it? Well you're not looking at the whole thing And when Fox News saw the millions that came down to the 9-10 September 2009 Tea Party rally they immediately jumped on board because they recognized that the tea party had reached critical mass in terms of the number of people that were supporting it So they began to support the Tea Party But the other thing that happened at Fox News and some of the Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch were also negotiating with is that after the election uh... the rule came down you speak ill against Obama you lose your license. You speak ill against Obama you lose all your advertising. And so Fox News then cut a deal to get rid of Fox News' most

2:26:55 outspoken speaker of Obama and Glenn Beck. Took about eight, nine months to get it done they got rid of him They toned down Sarah Palin and they pumped up Bill O'Reilly who is a sellout Bill O'Reilly is a whore from the word go Bill O'Reilly and Obamas father are both in heat whores you offer Bill O'Reilly money he don't care He'll take it And he began to pump up and support Obama So, putting the other mistake was in addition to putting your trust in the Tea Party people began to put their trust and Fox News. But Fox News had already sold out to quietly support Obama

2:27:38 and they sent the big gun of Bill O'Reilly out there to shoot down the birth certificate, and called all the birthers whack jobs, loons, crazies, and racists. And night after night on their Fox show or whatever it's called, to O'Reilly, he shot down birthers called them crazies called them loons until finally anybody who came on Fox News was afraid to even mention the birth certificate and that wasn't all. O'Reilly then stepped up and said I've seen the birth certificate! I personally have seen it so shut up about Obama's eligibility. And so Fox News sold out but still people

2:28:21 knowing that they have been cheated by Fox News turn on Fox News every day. I don't understand that, i don't understand it is it the Stockholm Syndrome where you actually take part in your own destruction? I mean I consider Fox News uh... the new Charles Manson and the Manson followers no matter what he did stab Sharon's tape in the stomach with a knife though she's pregnant, rape and rob and pilfer. I see people who watch Fox News as followers of Charles Manson because Fox News are sold out! Go ahead now and whup the dunghead media! Okay it's good. So can we- Hey hey, I love that guy Play Maninee Part 2 The Rant About The Tea Party

2:29:16 We have a theme, we have a theme today. The Tea Party is ineffective but yet people thought that they had the power you can see it! They are not your friend and we have said this over and over again and the Tea Party congressional members are not your friend so trusting in this was a major mistake with the ineligibility, the unconstitutional state of of a status of Obama, you would not be weeping today. You would not be wringing your hands today had you stayed with the issue that was the only issue and that is the issue of Obama's ineligibility and that even of itself had a glimmer of hope but after the Tea Party slammed it, after Fox News slammed

2:30:13 the angry with me when I told him Obama was a slickster, he was a pimp. He was a long-legged mac daddy! He was a hustler. He was a stealer of Dr. King's dream and he didn't care anything about black people not only that but who wasn't black and black people got mad enough to be the two nails they were wrong now you are wrong! You are wrong for following the Tea Party You are wrong. You're following Fox News, you are wrong! The Koch brothers benefits greatly from Obama

2:30:56 now selling the same program and this new film out now demonstrate Obama being the son of Trank Marshall Davis ain't nothing but another move by Obama. You're dealing with the devil, you're not dealing with a human being! You are dealing with the son of Satan and he's got moves that you've never thought of. You're wrong! The problem is your blind You're gonna turn on Fox News as long as they tease you with the idea that they are against Obama. But if you were the executive producer and editor of the news at Fox News, couldn't you put together a roster of announcers and news items that would destroy Obama in a heartbeat? You could even do that! You don't have enough-you post up on your Facebook page,

2:31:49 up on YouTube information and if you were at Fox News, you'd do the same thing that your doing on your Facebook page. So you know Fox News is a damn sellout! You know they can do better! You KNOW they can tell the truth because YOU DO IT AND YET YOU GIVE THEM A PASS FOR NOT DOING IT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? WRONG WITH YOU?! WRONG WITH YOU?! Same with the Tea Party! The SAME THING No Tea Party member of Congress will talk about the fact that we've got a criminal, the courts have been co-opted and now they've been co-opted. And you know it! You know it

2:32:32 It's a bit long yeah that one I could have cut off when he gave it the Frank Davis thing. You know there was something is always considering the Frank Davis said if he was born to this guy as his real dad, isn't Obama scheme? The devil! That's even better Well the next ones aren't that long. That one I could have cut right there, because that's actually was the interesting thing he brought up and you know it's probably an interesting...that's a good take! That's a deconstruction i liked it This would be the we're at part three here this is about Romney? Is that the...? Yes Romney thinks as an idiot Now what's the solution well first of all We need to understand this that Mitt Romney is perhaps And this is so pathetic

2:33:26 Mitt Romney is perhaps the worst possible candidate. Mitt Romney is the worst! What's wrong with you people? What's wrong with you?! Manning, you don't have the stature to tell us what to do You know, your just a little preacher over there at church over there in Harlem and we like you We think your amusing when you talk about black people We like what you say about them But when you start talking about white people, you're automatically wrong. And so I mean we love to hear you talk about black people, love to hear you say that they ain't got no honor We love to hear you talk about how barbaric they act and all of that and how they are racist and we love that but now when you talk about... You only give me credit when i talk about black folk! But then I'm right

2:34:16 And you're right for giving me credit, God knows when I speak about it. But I'm right when I talk about white folk as well! They just have rights. This truth is universal! Fox News is a sellout! The biggest mistake we made in this whole matter with Obama was trusting Fox News and they were laughing all the way to the bank. the cult brother, you're foolish. And now Mitt Romney against Obama? Here's a person anyway, Obama will win there is no doubt about that and he'll be president forever.

2:35:01 He's great, you know he's doing a lot of deconstruction that we do only he adds a certain flavor or flair than we have available to us. He has got a little flare going on there wow yeah that's pretty good. President forever... A very interesting let's say prediction. He has not made history and being the first black African American president. Because whether you think this is boasting or not, or whether you think I'm gloating, or whether you think I done got outside of my position in authority... But I have made sure that the history books will not record Obama as the first black president. I done tore that thing up, I done tore that one up! I done tore it UP! Nobody's saying he was the first black president And that little twit called Toni Morrison and that old witch called Maya Angelou

2:35:56 who were whores, who said that Bill Clinton was the first black president. A black people so psychotic! So deranged! So without honor! So self-loathing! They named Bill Clinton as the first black president That's how much they hate black folk and how much they reverence white folk They were wrong! And Obama ain't the first black president, so we got rid of that But he made history today. Yeah, he made history far greater than being the first black president because nobody don't care about black people no way and by the way Black people will be on the boat going to Africa by 2014 And Alan West and Marco Rubio are the ones who have made it possible They will be on the boat going by 2014 Black People will be going back to Africa Oh It's gonna look like a great excursion you're gonna like a great movement

2:36:46 two years from now when the health care bill really kicks in and two years from now when Obama has then taken mass control of the world and Islamic World is not dominating. The economy isn't a tank, and two years from now the world's gonna be so different getting on a boat going back to Africa black folks don't seem like a good idea. It's gonna see a really good idea and there are going to be trillions of dollars poured into the idea, all kinds of resettlement monies are going to allocated. And all the black politicians are gonna say this is a good idea and the cities are crumbling and that kind of thing. Oh yeah but you're going back to Africa! You're worthless nobody

2:37:31 Nobody needs you now. We got the DREAM Act, we got Mexicans who pick tomatoes and they clean toilets and nobody needs these self-loathing welfare cheats called black people anymore! You're going back to Africa!! And Obama's gonna be the one to send ya there." I thought WE were depressing... Alright, I'm gonna give it to ya. Please put all of that in the Red Book. Let me see if i've got this right. Obama is President forever Black people being sent back to Africa. Well that was fantastic! Sir Cyberman, do you think he can do a hat trick in the future? He's on notice... It would be nice.

2:38:26 It's pretty astounding. You know, people should appreciate what we've been doing over the years and I hope that they do. You know, I was looking over some of the donations there so I noticed that there are more than a few men overboard who for whatever reason I think we've lost them. Some are coming back from time to time I see some coming back but yeah... Overboard for sure! But for various reasons Well, the only reason is that people don't have time for the show because they used to commute and they used to listen in their car. They can't exercise or listen at the gym and they don't necessarily like listening while doing dishes but...

2:39:09 It's kind of a shame because I mean that that this show kind of shows the kind of variety of material that we produce besides our deconstructions We have funny stuff. It'll be very cool if someone went to know agenda player comm and annotated the whole thing Just to make it look more appropriate. I would like to see all the shows annotated Well, most of them are Remember in the early days with Bubba? Yeah he would transcribe He didn't transcribe but did the notes Someone is still doing that John! Someone is still doing that...I saw that the other day On a show by show basis? Yeah someone was doing topic by topic so not literal transcription but at least had the topics

2:39:50 I don't remember what it was. I would like to see what that page is Oh man, I can't remember what it was Let's dig it up Is it topics? Yeah, it'd be super handy It's just...I can't remember who was doing that No agenda search Someone out there is doing and they'll let me know Okay We love to plug it because it's a fantastic resource for sure Alrighty So we're gonna Have another nice evening here in Auger, Paris. Yes please and I'll see you in Austin on Sunday for the next show! Yes and thanks everybody again for supporting us and allowing us to have a full week of well at least not doing a show prep continues but we start doing a show it's appreciated You got anything coming up for Sunday that you know about yet? No not really

2:40:48 We will be talking about the AC-130 and the boat. Ah, yes! Yeah yeah I saw that email come in cool. And we got some good... 211 rounds my ass Alright everybody we will return on Sunday which means we'll need your help for our extra donation segment remember us at Dvorak dot org slash N A and coming to you from Gitmo Nation frog legs here in Paris I almost wanted to say Paris, Texas. There's a Paris, Texas but it's Paris France! Good morning everybody, I'm Adam Curry And from Northern Silicon Valley where there is no Paris in California... ...I am John C. Dvorak We will return on Sunday right here on NO AGENDA Adios mofos!