Topic: Java

A meetup is announced for Saturday at Java Ranch in Kerrville to support flood relief efforts. John's "Tip of the Day" features emergency LED light bulbs with built-in batteries that stay lit during power outages. He jokes about using the bulbs to perform an "Uncle Fester" trick on television.

A local controversy in Fredericksburg, Texas, involves a new coffee shop called "Kaffee Haus" where employees reportedly placed a pride flag on a figurine of Jesus. This has caused a rift among local patrons, including members of a local church. One host discusses his loyalty to "Java Ranch," where he plays chess with a regular named Willie, and criticizes the "bougie" nature of the new establishment.

A listener correction regarding COBOL programming leads to a discussion on the difficulties of maintaining millions of lines of legacy code. The hosts also debunk a recent NPR report as a "hoax," referencing a detailed article on the "dev.to" website that exposed the inaccuracies in the original story.

James Higginbotham, who recently moved from Austin to Colorado Springs to escape "Austin mold," is knighted as Sir Java James. He notes he has been a listener since show number one following a mention on the TWiT network. The segment includes a de-douching and a discussion about the authenticity of goat scream jingles.

Adam Curry and John C. Dvorak open the 700th episode of the No Agenda show, broadcasting from Austin, Texas. Dvorak recounts a frustrating experience with persistent Java update notifications on his Windows 7 machine. The hosts celebrate the milestone of reaching seven hundred episodes over seven years of broadcasting.

The Department of Homeland Security's unusual public warning to uninstall or disable Java due to a zero-day threat is analyzed. The hosts speculate on the lack of technical press coverage and suggest potential involvement from intelligence agencies, given Oracle CEO Larry Ellison's long-standing ties to the CIA.