John C. Dvorak Cataract Surgery, Bionic Eye Recovery
John C. Dvorak describes his recent cataract surgery experience, including the use of an IV sedative and laser cutting. The procedure took approximately 25 minutes and involved the implantation of a Bausch & Lomb lens. Recovery involves a month of blurry vision and the frequent application of eye drops.
john c. dvorak· cataract surgery· bionic eye· anesthesiology· bausch & lomb· medical procedure
00:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He with one eye is king and broadcasting live from the capital of the drone star state here in downtown Austin, Tejas. In the Cluedio! In the morning everybody I'm Adam Curry And from northern Silicon Valley where it's kind of bright out...I'm John C. Duvorak It's Quackpot & Buzzkill! Good comeback How is the new bionic eye?
00:37 It's still healing. If you don't mind, we just need to indulge a little bit since you did tell us about this procedure on the show on last episode. You had cataract surgery? Take us through it. Do you come into the office? Are you nervous? No I'm not nervous at all actually. And you were up late! You were up until like 12-31 o'clock Because I got email from you, it's like holy shit he was still up around midnight maybe 1 12 30. Yeah well you had to be in the office at 8 i have to do this show at 7 i'm up till midnight okay all right anyway so you're irked you're not nervous your irked your mad yeah but they don't have to have this procedure at all yes okay gotcha and uh so uh yeah they put you under it's just i'm gonna actually write a giblet about it yeah so that means you can tell us
01:32 No, I could tell you but it's kind of boring. Well just-I have a few questions Did they did they give you like a little sedative? A little happy pill beforehand? No they don't give you happy pill but they do give you an IV Yeah so that's no good What do you mean that's no good? That would make me, that would irk me. Needle in my hand. Yeah well especially since I never had one before and the woman is asking me... Oh wait a minute! You're like me, you've never had an IV oh and so how that must have sucked. It actually turns out not to be a big deal In fact, in fact. Right? But it's just like you know you're a virgin and feel like some sort of teenager I said I feel like a cheerleader to the woman right over her head. Like what? Shut up old man! Hey we got a crazy one here bed 15 so uh...
02:27 Alright, so then they take you and I had laser cutting. Hold on! No no stop! They put you in a chair do they strap you in? Are your hands strapped? You're just sitting there is your head locked in the vice? So then they put the clamp in your eye socket Yeah, yeah they do that okay and usually it just takes a couple of rounds It's got small eyes so They yeah, they get you to just lay there and then they hold on the ice. Okay, right So they put some that's a drama who they put some drops in your eyes it to you I put up two million drops in your eyes is ridiculous so I put a bunch of dry and you guy balls stuck and At this point do you just want like just like close your eye and just rub your eyelid? No, there's no you don't have any sense of feeling okay
03:23 And you can't see much either, so. And then they put this device on your eyeball and then maybe you can see it. You know what it feels like? Although I've never experienced it, I don't think. It feels like an alien kind of... when the aliens capture you and take you to the front of the plane. If you watch the movie or series that everyone should watch this is called People Of Earth It is the best thing on television. Yeah, so you have kind of that blurry vision and you see the alien figures kind of outline hovering above you... Yeah something like that And then you wake up and your like oh my butt hurts You never fall asleep so you never wake up Right yeah but it's hazy okay now do you hear the lasers? They're going zzzz Yeah! The laser makes these funny sounds Did you see was there smoke coming off your eyeball or...? You hear meh
04:23 Which again I can see misinterpreting for aliens. In fact, for all I know, I was actually captured by aliens in this thing that just never happened because it's a cover story. Yeah sure it is! Alright so then and how long did the whole thing take? 25 minutes. Oh, that's not too bad and now at any point while you were there did they say yeah? We're gonna need a little deposit Did they was there any deposit noise no like all right good And so then they put up a patch do you have what do you have on your I know oh
05:01 Nothing. Oh, you just walk right out and straight sunglasses? They recommend anything? You gotta have sunglasses because your eyes are dilated so you got to... And did you drive home yourself? No no they won't let you cause they gave me a jolt of some crazy knockout pill through the IV that I didn't even notice it was in. Hold on hold on! I wouldn't call it fun or anything. When did this happen just before the procedure? Right away when they start. It's an anesthesiologist What? No, so it wasn't when you got the IV but once you were in the operating room. Yeah, the anesthesiologist comes up and he says okay here we go And what was it? I asked him specifically because I need for the book again some verbenum or...I don't know what it was inside never heard of these things But it wasn't groovy It was no good? No, I didn't notice there was any fun Oh! I didn't go wooo! I had to come back with my other eye
05:57 Alright, and so how is the vision now that you have the Bausch & Lomb lens? It's blurry. Yeah! But it's supposed to take a while to settle in. So am I doing the spreadsheet today or is that not effective? I can do it fine, but even though its a little blurry, It is 1000 times better than it was because with the other one I couldn't see anything out of there. Just a big blur. I feel that you should at least be able to deduct your actual deductible from your tax return I don't know what it's gonna be but it's not, oh I only paid for the upgrade to the better quality lens. Oh okay The rest of this seems to be covered by the whatever however covered so we go well good that's all I'm glad it went okay I was yeah I was thinking about you on I think about you on Friday like
06:49 I don't want to ask anything, so hopefully he's alive on Sunday and then we'll just get the whole story. So what I was trying to be... This is like an assembly line thing this particular operation and I guess people millions of them are done every year So yeah, well mechanic mechanical stuff for everybody what I was gonna say that mechanical stuff. I think Modern medicine is very good broken bones heart stuff This kind of procedure. I think we're really good at it so we get to a lot of it down Yeah, you know It's like if it is like a mechanics shop just go in and fix them all now did the doctor at any point? Hover over you look at the other guy either eye and go tsk-tsk-tsk
07:32 No, I don't know it now. He did doctor was too busy to even talk much You're what you're thinking of is your news like you go to the dentist yeah? Yeah, that's okay What crown you've got it needs replacing hmm this little worried about this one over here Let's put a new one in now any timeline on when this should be working when it should be less blurry month Oh wow that's a long time hmm Okay. Yeah, and I got all these drops I gotta put in my eye four times a day And so you can't operate an automobile then for a month? Sure I can like you make to see better than they did before the operation You're like my daughter Put your dark glasses on! Put a patch on! Oh she loves you Don't go down the stairs don't go into wine cellar
08:23 Very sad news this evening. You can't go into the wine cellar, dad it's dusty down there! Mr. Dvorak was found in his wine cellar by his daughter the dog walker very sad news tonight all right well glad you're here glad you good and this is good news And I do want to advise everyone that listening to the no agenda show generally causes healthy thoughts happiness and a toolkit of life-saving tips in the information apocalypse some listeners However will experience anger dismay and outrage which has been proved to be detrimental to your health if you experience any of these symptoms Please stop listening immediately and return to reddit Yeah, nice and early
