Topic: Jazz Dancing

The hosts perform a "television producer" deconstruction of the Miss America pageant. They praise a ventriloquist act but critique the overall selection of contestants, noting that "genuine beauties" are often overlooked. Cara Mund of North Dakota is crowned the winner, though the hosts compare her appearance to Marie Osmond and Miley Cyrus.

Miss District of Columbia is asked about outlawing full-contact football in schools due to brain damage, a question the hosts find "shitty." They discuss the talent portion of the pageant, noting that almost every contestant performed a jazz dance. The winner, Miss North Dakota, is credited for a professional-quality dance routine inspired by Bob Fosse.