Schwack the Nose

00:00 Hey, Bill. Go drink some poop. Adam Curry. John C. DeVore. It's Thursday, January 8th, 2015. Time for your Gizmo Nation Media Assassination Episode 685. This is no agenda. Feeling like I should be called up in the fetal position live from FEMA region 6 the capital of the drone star state in Austin, Texas in the morning everybody I'm Adam Curry head for northern Silicon Valley with no further ado. I'm John Cena Yeah, it was the first time I actually considered

00:37 Calling in sick for the show. I got it. I got it finally. Oh, yeah, everybody got it because if it was in the shot, so if you got the shot, you'd get it. I didn't get the shot. No, but if you got the shot, you would have got it sooner. So it would have been a better time. Oh, OK. Better time for what so wouldn't fall on a show day So did you get to some relinza or some Tamiflu to buffer the the effects of the flu? No, no because no one's here, and I'm all alone and You know one thing you can't get some relinza you can make a phone call you can go to the doctor you can call someone I don't even have a doctor I Don't I have the voodoo doctors. I don't have a regular like a regular doctor. No doctor. I don't go to doctors Okay, yeah

01:25 Well, then you won't you won't enjoy this this particular ailment. How long does it last? We'll see everybody here got it and And just to be clear this is it starts off with pain in your back shoulders. You're really tired and that's not necessarily Oh, okay. That's what I have. I mean something else is a little different with everybody. I may be strung out on heroin. I don't know Everybody got a different version of it and I I use relenza, so it just lessens the effects. I did get a cough, which is nagging cough, which is annoying. I never got a fever, I never got to aching anything, I never got to energy problems, I just had this cough and congestion, so I still have a little bit of that. And that's all I got. But I use relenza, which I believe is, I think is the best antiviral. And now, I don't know.

02:19 JC and his wife both got it, and they had used Tamiflu. JC had the mildest version, and he didn't really...I think he stayed in bed for two days, and he was good. And Eric had took nothing. And he was... Miserable. He was miserable, yes. Yeah, in fact, he mentioned he was done for two days he was down on, he was down. He was down. He's down! Right, so here I am, I'm still standing. Yeah, you won't be tomorrow. Well, it started Tuesday.

02:55 Yes, I woke up Tuesday, and I had and I felt like okay. This is your fighting it off right right and And then so Tuesday also spent all day trying to install that stupid Pete PlayStation my daughter's coming today She's coming to visit for a week. Oh, you're gonna give her the flu then Hopefully I'm no longer contagious. Oh, you don't know I know I don't know I And she's coming from a week of partying in LA. I don't care. Oh, she'll be bringing all kinds of goodies with it. I'm sure. So I had to get the grand theft auto loaded. By the way, this flu coincides beautifully with CES. Yeah, it does. There's no, there's no, everybody's going to be sick. Yeah. I just think go to CES and get the flu. No wonder it's an epidemic.

03:44 And so then yesterday Wednesday, I stayed in bed, and it was bad. I'm just like I feel horrible horrible horrible yeah No, no sore throat. That's that's the problem source of sore throat. Yeah, and then yesterday right around noon. I'm like ah oh Okay, fever broke I with me is like my body goes into shake mode and get the feet to get the stuff out with the fever Oh you get the heebie-jeebies. Yeah, yeah, and so I you know I had to go to shopping because Christina's coming so do you know grocery shopping? And you know what? What is it so you were down? Well you so you were down for the count what on Monday and Tuesday or Tuesday? Well, it was Tuesday and then Wednesday at noon I got up and

04:27 So that's not, that's what is that? 30 hours or something? Oh, that's yeah. Okay. But, but, and then I'm just trying to stay active. And of course I got to prep, right? You know, I got to do all kinds of stuff. And then I'd, I'd forgotten that yesterday was Orthodox Christmas. Right. And I'd been invited by Sir Gene, Earl of Texas to join him and some of his other Russian friends. at Russian House for a traditional... Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, traditional Russian Orthodox Christmas dinner. Right. Yeah, it's supposed to be great. Well, you know why it's great? Lots of vodka. You went? Yeah, of course I went. Oh, good. Yeah, I figured, you know, whatever. Oh, the vodka's good for you. It might be. Yeah, it certainly helped. But my energy, you know, it was like 630 or something when we got there. And, you know, you're drinking a couple of vodkas, you're eating God knows what.

05:28 Beets. In the Russian... They love them beets. It was actually quite... I've had borscht before. Borscht is good. I liked the borscht a lot. It was a very good borscht. And I had... what are they like... beef stroganoff? Apparently that's a Russian dish. And some other, a couple other things. But it was nice. But the energy, it just drained, it totally sapped me out. Yeah, so you got home and went back to bed? Back to bed. Are you recording this show, by the way? Yes. Yes, thank you for asking. I'm just checking on you because you're a week in the head. Thank you for asking. Yes, on multiple systems. And yeah, so then I'm trying to do stuff in bed last night and it's not working really well. I get up early, it's like six.

06:15 Do you know where um? You know that feeling when you're like you have a something in your hand like a laptop even you get it and you're lying on your back And then you just fall asleep and like the laptop falls in your face or something if you ever I actually do yes. I have had that happen not I don't hold a laptop over my head But I have had a book fall in my face, right? This is what's happening this morning. You know I'm so just my brain is just shutting down, and I'm whoa I gotta I gotta stay away here. Oh Anyway, it's okay because and I do want to you know talk to you because you know we've had some interesting things take place once again which begs some analysis from the crack team here at the best podcast in the universe and

07:04 Yes, things are beginning to... this is shaking out already. It looks like a pretty good year. Yeah. I have an idea which I think will solve everything everywhere. And this is for the... obviously for what happened in Paris. Is this an idea that stems from your stupor? Yes, obviously, from my delirium. Yes. So what is the slogan everyone's saying using Je suis... Je suis... Je suis Chabon or whatever the name of that. Not Chabon. Chabon. No, the name of the magazine. Yeah, it's Hebdon. Je suis Charlie. No, Je suis Charlie. That's it. I keep thinking of Charlie Sheen when that comes up. So Je suis Charlie. Which I think is... I don't know who made that up, but that's lame.

07:58 I don't know. Whatever works. Here's what we need to do. If we really want to be bold, let's just for a moment presume that indeed this is real. I can't even bring the energy up to do that. This is real and this really is these crazy brothers who apparently have been doing this since 2005. And this is all about the depiction of the Prophet Muhammad. Then why don't we all today change our Twitter icon to the Prophet Muhammad? Oh, there you go. This is what we should be doing. I think you've stumbled on one. This is what we should be doing. And then the whole world does this. We're like, fuck you. And then we can have cartoon versions and all kinds of funny versions. Now, wouldn't that show that this is how the world really should work?

08:50 Yes, that's exactly right Adam. I think you've stumbled on the exact thing everyone should do and I would recommend They all do it. Are you gonna do it? No, I never I don't change my icons anything Right are you gonna do it you should do it. Don't totally do it. I don't give a crap Just need I want a good I had zero supposedly dip you know to draw it This is what kills me about this idea. We brought this up during the Danish card. Yes, which is but It all stems from that originally and so I'm think yeah, well this this magazine published those cartoons, too

09:27 But there's a couple of things that I can come away with this one is that the the French concept of freedom of speech Makes our concept of freedom of speech look sick. Oh, I totally agree Yeah, no the French good to bring that up. You want to see freedom of speech in action go to France You're not gonna get any here. The closest you're gonna come is this show? And that tells you something yes, and that tells you something And we're not changing our icons. I am gonna change my icon. I'm gonna do okay Go do it, but the thing that we brought this up before is that the depiction of Muhammad so you draw a stick figure And then you put an arrow toward it, and then you write Muhammad And that is somehow a depiction of Muhammad, and that's also crap. Well. That's a good one. I like that fiction of anything yeah

10:15 Well, I wanted to look at this from a number of angles and the first one is, which was also my initial response before I saw the video. When I saw the video of these guys on the street and there's some anomalies there that I'm not too interested anymore in trying to discover every minute detail of one little piece of video. People do go out and kill people once in a while. Yeah, exactly. It's not necessarily a crazy conspiracy. Every murder in the world is not part of some FBI plot. It's not all a false flag. Not all. But when I saw how methodical these guys were, or how it felt to me,

10:52 The first thing that popped in my head was like gladio be or something. This is the strategy of tension Let's go make people crazy, but I know the story behind You know behind a lot of these journalists and many people have sent in emails Who either lives in France or do live in France and a couple of these guys you know they're very famous illustrators oh yeah, yeah, extremely famous in certainly in France and And set the French yeah, oh yeah, this is you know it would be like Hmm give me an American example we have done We've Scott Adams, so he's dead Scott Adams would be a good idea like that or Schultz you know from peanuts something like that already Yeah, the dead guy so there you go That's why I don't kill any of our of our illustrators because all the good ones are dead

11:41 But it is interesting that if you look at what is, whether intentional or not, on the killing side, but certainly on the media side, I mean, if you want to bring attention to anything, if you want to get something going, you got to take out a journalist or someone who works at a journalistic function. Yeah, because the media will pick that up. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I think it's pretty obvious, you know, who gets beheaded? Journalists. You know, who gets shot for drawing pictures? You know, journalistic types. And of course we found an ID at the shooting scene, please. Now you're insulting me.

12:28 I do have a couple of clips we can play to back ourselves up here. I just want to finish my intro. My intro, because I got some clips too. But my intro is having lived in the Netherlands, having been through the assassination of Pim Fortuyn, who was, as they would call him, the Le Pen of the lowlands. And interestingly enough, he was a very, you know, he's a professor, openly gay professor, He was going to win the Dutch elections. In fact, posthumously his party did win, swept the elections, was assassinated two weeks before becoming the de facto prime minister. And he had written books and was really pushing very hard about the Islamification of Europe. And we've had many warning signals about this multicultural integration, this multicultural society, really just not working out too well.

13:26 So this does not come as any surprise really to me, being a, you know, someone who was really grown up and lived in Europe. Well, it shouldn't be a surprise to anybody. Well... Yeah, unless you're like some dimwit. I don't think people really understand. I disagree, John. I don't think people in... If you have not lived recently or live in Europe, the EU, I disagree. I don't think you really understand what that tension is. Just walking down the street and how in the Netherlands how Moroccans will talk to girls and it's not just cat calls. It's really, really abhorrent. You know, it's like, hey, girl, hey, girl. And if you don't respond, whore, whore, slut, whore, it's crazy.

14:15 Yeah. Um, no, I don't think people understand that. That would, if that happened in America, no, if that happened in Texas, do you be eating lead? And by the way, there's an argument to be made for, you know, just having guns. Well, the police had guns. Yeah, but they weren't there. No, two of them were killed. What do you mean? They weren't there. Okay. No, he had a full-time police guard. Yeah, I heard different. I heard that that had kind of gone away. There were two dead cops in this scenario, at least, unless they're lying about that and there's no reason to. I don't know. We really have no information at this point. I don't think I have any information, really. I have some video.

14:59 I think there's more than enough information to finish, to not care anymore personally. But here's the cartoon shooting PBS rundown, which I think kind of summarizes much of this. Shock and disbelief grip Parisians moments after the military-style attack. Three hooded men with assault rifles forced their way into the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper. Within minutes, they killed the editor, nine others, including two prominent political cartoonists and a police guard. Back outside, they riddled a police car with bullets and gunned down another officer. I was on my balcony and I heard a loud noise and then I saw an injured policeman.

15:42 Amateur video captured a gunman who approached the wounded officer and killed him with a shot to the head. Before driving away, the attackers shouted in Arabic, Allahu Akbar, God is great. And in French, we avenge the Prophet Muhammad. We killed Charlie Hebdo. Okay, can I say two things about this? Go ahead. One, it is my understanding from whatever delirious research I was able to do, that a true Islamist would never talk about the event, about avenging the Prophet Muhammad in French. He would definitely do that in Arabic.

16:20 Which is, it's an anomaly, I don't know what else it means. The shooting of the wounded officer is very unclear. The video is actually not all that unclear. I do not believe that there was a direct hit to the officer. Or that, who knows? But there's, I know it comes out of an AK-47. If that had hit this person's head, it did not. It didn't hit anything as far as I can tell. Maybe the sidewalk. I did not see any hit there. And strangely enough, all the news footage now has cut that part out. They've blurred the officer and then the running and shooting the officer, they've just cut the whole piece out. Look at CNN right now. It's just been eliminated for some reason. CNN doesn't show anything. I'm just saying. It's been taken out. I don't know why. Because they don't show anything. Right.

17:21 That's why. When's the last time you saw a good gruesome anything on CNN? The last time they did it was a dead kid in Gaza, that was it. So I have Stéphane Charbonnier from 2012. When he was of course in 2011 their offices were firebombed and in 2012 I think this is ABC who dug this out of their archives. We are provocative today, we will be provocative tomorrow and it's our job. Why do you do this? I do this because it's our job to draw about actuality. About the news? About news, yeah. Our job is not to defend freedom of speech.

18:10 But without freedom of speech, we are dead. We can't live in a country without freedom of speech. I prefer to die than live like a rat, I don't know. And to be afraid of speaking? Yeah, I haven't the right time to be afraid. I have a paper to do. And I will say that not a single mainstream channel in the United States has actually showed the cartoons. Not a single one. Uh, Huffington Post? I'm talking about ABC, NBC, CBS. Oh, they're not gonna show it? Not a single one has shown that. Why would they? Well, but they're actually, when they show footage of... This is just shocking to you?

18:59 No, I'm just pointing it out. When they have the candlelight vigils, they're even going so far as to digitize people holding up signs with the prophet drawn on them. That's weak. That just shows you. New York Times won't even run the country. No, I know. It's weak. Well, it's what I said at the beginning, at the outset. Yeah, yeah, you're right. We're weak. We have no freedom of speech in this country. It's all self-censored, but it's all self-censored. Not the government telling you not to do it. No, no, no, no. Here's Mark Stein. on the self-censorship and I think he actually repeats what this was the only publication that was willing to publish the Mohammed the Danish Mohammed cartoons in 2006 because they decided to stand by those Danish cartoonists I'm proud to have written for the only Canadian magazine to publish those Mohammed cartoons and it's because the New York Times didn't

19:53 and Le Monde in Paris didn't, and the London Times didn't, and all the other great newspapers of the world didn't. Only Charlie Hebdo and My Magazine in Canada and a few others did. that they were forced to bear a burden that should have been more widely dispersed. I mean, I see all these teary candlelit vigils and everyone claiming suddenly to be for freedom of speech. I think one consequence of this is that a lot of people will retreat even further into self-censorship. The New York Daily News won't even show It dishonors the dead in Paris by not even showing properly the cartoons. They pixelated Mohammed out of it, so it looks like Mohammed has entered the witness protection program, but they left the hook-nosed Jew in. And that exactly gets to the double standard here. You can say anything you like about Christianity, you can say anything you like about Judaism,

20:47 But these guys, everyone understands the message that if you say something about Islam, these guys will kill you. And we will be retreating into a lot more self-censorship if the pansified Western media doesn't man up and decide to disperse the risk. So they can't just kill one little small French satirical magazine. They got to kill all of us. Well, yeah. They kill all of us. He's a regular on the right-wing talk show. I've seen him everywhere now. He gets out. He's very, he's got that British accent so that makes him more believable. Incredible. Glenn Beck. Seriously, will someone please put together a great little Twitter icon package that we can have everyone change their Twitter icon to? This would be very funny. This is a genius idea. Oh yeah. Delirium it's called. Delirium? It's a genius idea.

21:44 So what I do find interesting, and this is, you know, as kind of a student of the the jihadi movement, the bloodless jihad into the EU, the opportunity is being made, or the opportunity was made and has been taken advantage of immediately, to bring in terms such as Islamophobia, Oh yeah. There we go. Let's see, what do we have? Here's Josh Earnest, the spokeshole for the White House. Oh yeah, I'm glad you got this clip. I could not get this clip but I know about it. I hope it's the one you think it is. I thought it was good. I hope it's this one. Israeli extremism is something that the world has been dealing with for more than a decade now.

22:30 Trying to monitor what we consider to be a really important threat, which is this this threat of foreign fighters So I thought it very interesting. This is only a piece of this whole bit that he did So first he's talking about foreign fighters. So now that of course means that people have been to Syria and have come back. So he's immediately turning this right into a, it should be Daesh, but he's going to say ISIL, ISIS, ISIL, whatever. You know, it is clear that ISIL does harbor the ambition to try and radicalize people all across the globe. And one core component of our strategy has been to mobilize the forces leaders in the Muslim community, particularly the moderate voices in the Muslim community, to talk about what the values of Islam really are. It's a peaceful religion. This is my favorite part. It's a peaceful religion. Yeah, it's working. And it's terrible that we're seeing some radical extremists attempt to use some of the values and tenets of that religion and distort them greatly.

23:29 And inspire people to commit terrible acts of violence now. It hasn't religion being used for centuries or millennia As a reason to go to war well islam was formed for the purpose of joining the arab for you know all the arabs together one Large army to go kick some ass and take over a lot of places yeah, but he seems he seems to be in a piece He seems to be forgetting this this history of Islam. Again, I don't want to get ahead of this situation. It's still under investigation. We don't know exactly what happened yet. It's still not clear who is responsible or what their motivations were. But we are very cognizant of this threat that's posed by foreign fighters. It's posed by ISIL's attempts to use social media in a rather sophisticated way. Whoa, hold on a second. I'd like to know how ISIL is using social media. What rather sophisticated way is that? Are they using hashtags?

24:25 Are they using retweets in a new manner that I'm unaware of? I don't know. To try to inspire people around the globe to commit other acts of violence and it's something that we work very closely with our allies on a daily basis to combat. Yes. So that clearly wasn't what you were thinking of, I guess. That I had. Was this not the clip you wanted? Nah. Nah. He goes on and on. Yeah, he really does. I do have, let's see. So we have Care, C-A-I-R. The apologists. Right. This is... The front for Hamas, everybody knows. Yeah, exactly. Well, yes. But, you know, they gotta get some air time in there. They gotta run some interference.

25:09 They're interesting. They got a good PR. They got somebody, probably, I don't know, I'm not going to say, but they get booked too much. Mainstream followers of all faiths need to get together and marginalize the Muslims, marginalizing the extremists on their side, and also people of other faiths marginalizing this growing Islamophobic movement in the West and now in Europe you've seen tens of thousands of people marching against Islam in Europe and that sends a very negative message. It creates this sense of alienation and it adds to this downward spiral that we all somehow need to get out of. I don't know man but the people in Europe that I know are sick and tired of this crap.

25:56 So, you know, we've got it and because they're demonstrating it's Islamophobia, it's not true. That is not what the word means. I don't think people have an irrational fear of Islam. I think they're sick and tired of it. Sick and tired of what is being done in name of Islam. Well, I said it before on this show, which is that if you really go out there and start looking on the intertubes, you'll find plenty of moderate Islam promoters and adherents that are complaining about this bitterly all over the place. They never get picked up, nobody ever brings them on these shows. Exactly. And the whole idea is you stay with the litany, oh, why don't they do something about this themselves?

26:41 And as much as they try, it's hopeless. And this is just coming to a head. It's also being used, I think, for...I mean, obviously, you can leverage this for all sorts of things. But here, listen to this French woman. This is the French woman...by the way, this is the French accent I want to cultivate. This is a French woman explaining the cultural aspect of all this and how It was something we don't understand in the United States, which is this was extremely hurtful to the French culture and the French people. These guys are very important people they killed. Tell us about this magazine and its place in French media. This is a very special magazine for the French.

27:23 All the men who work there, who are dead today, wanted to do journalism. They wanted to do serious journalism, but they also wanted to make people smile about real issues. France is completely traumatized by what happened. It's the journalism which has been killed today. The French people cannot understand why there's so much horror, terrorism as, again, strike I

28:07 in France today, in Paris, holding up the sign, Je suis Charlie. Was that the feeling? I suspect it wasn't the feeling about the magazine before today. It's the feeling that something has changed in France. I know that in the United States, you always say France has this beautiful country with a lot of women, wine, French concorn. This is completely over. And after today, it's more over than ever. She forgot to say that what we really think is that women have hairy armpits in France. That's what we think here. That's bigotry. I'm just telling you. I've never noticed this. No, it's I'm not saying it's true, but that's that is a long running meme as stupid Americans think that French women don't shave their armpits. I think there's more Europeans that think that than Americans. Really? Yeah. That's where I think you get it. Hmm. Okay. Well, the president spoke about all this.

29:00 Yeah, and what is the point? I saw this. He's sitting down in a chair, right? Yeah, because he's with another guy and there's two dead kittens on two microphones. which is what that's called, the thing they put on over the... And the microphones are on long booms. And it sounds like shit. It's because the microphones are five miles away from these two guys. I think that might have been off. I think someone was just running wild sound on the cameras onboard, Mike. It sucked. Yeah, it did. It did suck. So the first thing, the way the president does it, I don't like, I really, I disapprove of these types of things that he says. I think it's going to be important for us to make sure that

29:39 We recognize these kinds of attacks can happen anywhere in the world. I don't like this. I disapprove of this message. Why is he gonna say, we have to really realize now people that these types of attacks can happen anywhere in the world? It could happen in downtown Austin. I mean that is just scaring people. I'm looking at a parking lot, can it happen there I wonder? Why does he do this? Because it's part of the terror thing. One of the things I'll be discussing with Secretary Kerry today is to make sure that we remain vigilant not just with respect to Americans living in Paris, but Americans living in Europe.

30:23 the Middle East and other parts of the world, we're making sure that we stay vigilant. Stay vigilant! I think he may as well, I have a clip. This is kind of a funny clip, but I have it mislabeled. But this should be what he should, he should announce this and he should do this and he should just make this part of the entire scheme, schema. for what he has to say about all this fear that we have to just be shaking in our boots constantly. Play the North Korean announcement. This is the Ministry of Fear, a network of terror that lays bare the secrets locked in every man's mind. Using strange hypnotic torture, relentless, cunning, tangling their quarry in a web of horror until he reaches the brink of madness. Who speaks? Who said that? Who picked the circle?

31:17 Yeah, exactly. Yes, citizen, you may return to your harpsichord. Excellent. Yeah, that's it. I mean, the president is just sitting there. That's the president. He's just scaring everybody. That's our president. That's our president. It can happen anywhere. You have fear. If you're an American, you know, we're going to be vigilant. Vigilant. Fear. I'm telling you.

32:00 fiction becomes a if this had happened in the United States they wouldn't have had any of these vigils every stay home because another attack is imminent yeah well depends on where it would be well it depends in Texas well in Texas nobody cares they I think I think so but I think we they wouldn't have gotten as many people Maybe, I don't know. I'm not gonna get out of argument. Let me finish this up. No, because somebody would have, they would have guns. Yeah, we have guns, exactly. Hey, what are you, what are you, you balaclava Muslim crazy guy? Get back in the Citroen. Here's the guy who used to run The Onion. And I think that this was an interesting little clip. This was on, I think, a Lawrence O'Donnell show. And I think it's interesting the way he talks about, he doesn't know that he's doing it, but he's actually discussing self-censorship and why this wouldn't happen here because we won't run, we're too scared to run these pictures. Joe Randazzo, this was a tough one for you. I'm going to read something you wrote.

32:57 wrote today as a former editor of the Onion, you said, 12 people were murdered at the offices of Charlie Hebdo, a French satirical newspaper today, apparently for doing the very thing the Onion does, satire. But Joe, they did one thing that the Onion hasn't done. They actually included images of Muhammad. Yeah, well as far as my recollection goes, there hasn't been a time when Onion has run an image of Muhammad, especially not for any inflammatory reasons. So I do think that there is a kind of fine line that has to be walked, which is a sensitivity to the cultural preferences of your readership or anybody in the world.

33:48 versus the freedom to publish anything you see fit in a free society. So while The Onion has poked a lot of fun and called out radical Islam, I don't remember a time when it has run an image of Mohammed. for any particular reason beyond that I just don't recall having come up. This guy is self-censoring the entire time he's talking. Oh yeah. He can't even think straight. He's uh, I don't want to fuck this up. By the way, let's start off right at the initial premise. Images of Mohamed. These are not images. No, it's not images of Mohamed. It's a cartoon. It's a drawing. It's a drawing with an area. If it didn't have the, it could say, you know,

34:35 Sheikh Abdul, you know, it doesn't...this generic character that they just pointed an arrow, so that we were gonna...we're calling that Mohammed. It's not an image. It's a mis...the whole thing is bullcrap at that level. Here's...and I knew the president was gonna say this because, of course, whenever he's sitting in that chair, whenever he talks about another country, we always know that it's our number one ally, they're our best friends ever. You know, our relationship is special. I don't know, what planet is he from? But I thought it was appropriate for me to express my deepest sympathies to the people of Paris and the people of France for the terrible terrorist attack that took place earlier today. I think that all of us recognize that France is one of our oldest allies, our strongest allies. They have been

35:32 with us at every moment when we've from 9-11 on No, no, no have we forgotten freedom fries? Apparently they were not no we hated them. We weren't we were not eating french fries I know they were not in the helping us. No, they were not helping helping us out at all. No, no So how, what is the president? What is he doing? What is he, why is he saying all this? Because he's just, it's just, well, it's, you know why? Yeah, I'm just... Because nobody pays any attention to facts and he just sounds great. It's just bullcrap. This whole, it's ridiculous. I, beside myself, obviously. Right, no, I agree. So, now, Putin, well not Putin himself, but...

36:22 By the way, I want to say that the dinner last night was actually very nice, I have to say. Was Putin there? No, but we talked a lot about Putin. Oh, well let's take a breather and give us a little rundown on this. Well, the funny thing is, not everybody was Russian. Gene had invited a whole bunch of people. Okay, well he does that yeah, and Brian brushwood showed up. I never we'd never met in person that well Brian's been wanting to meet you at all I see you know what it was a setup. It was a setup. Yes. I think I agree I think was a setup. Yeah, you were totally set up because Because Brian's been wanting to meet you forever, but it kind of it's because I was rich. I'm of avoiding him and The Earl knows about this because he keeps tabs on he's a gossip monger So he said the whole thing up, and now he just he's my job is I have done it now

37:15 That's funny Yeah, Brian's a good guy. We do we know we've never had a chance to hook up But then he had so I know that his two other friends that Piotr Peter and Oksana and right those are Brian's friend Oh, these are jeans for these Russian jeans Russian friends did Brian just come by himself. Yeah, huh? Yeah, he just stopped by he just kind of did it fly by But the the Peter guy he comes from the very famous Russian clowns circus clowns in fact I think his dad consulted on Moscow and the Hudson and and and there was a clown in the in the movie that was supposed to be his Dad or grandfather. I'm not sure but so there's so there's a Russian cell. Oh, yeah, very big Russian so major. Oh, yeah, and probably every kept these Russian girls Cute all of them the girls serving at this restaurant cute

38:17 And I was not, I was not informed. Were they the coy Russian style? What do you mean coy? There's a coyness to a certain, it runs somewhere, there's a certain coyness that's very attractive. I think coy is the right description, yes. And so of course Jean's yapping in Russian to all these girls and you know, the server, waitress, whatever. And I was not informed. I was sick, you know, so just nothing was working for me and And I and I and I kind of like hey, you know, I did. Hey girl. Hey, and I don't remember what I said, but she basically came back with oh, thank you very much, but I'm not interested I Know

38:59 I'm not interested Everything came around. What did you say? I don't know but it was it was lame I'm sure but the amount of being distracted by Peter's wife Oksana who was just if the hair were red It would be Chapman. You know she's stunning stunning and she has that sexy accent and ah Yeah, you know but all these guys are probably gonna shoot me with some drug and kill me if I look at it. Be careful with this stuff, man. It's nut jobs. But I have to say very enjoyable and the Russian Russian food is interesting. I guess you could say that.

39:41 Some of it is is just vile. Most of it's pickled. Yeah, it's it's pickled beets and pretty good sturgeon is good. They have this sturgeon. So they have this salad, which is it's it's a meat potato beet salad. And what Oksana said is, you know, whenever you celebrate something, a birthday or you get a raise or whatever it is, you know, Putin invades a country. Then out comes this salad. And it's a celebration salad. It is. And it's mayonnaise, it's some kind of mystery meat. I've seen this salad. And with the beets in it. And oh, it's called something with...

40:20 Something with hair on it. It was like Yes, I'm telling you the old country yes, but the name had a little sign because it was a buffet style And there's this girl playing some instrument which I've never seen not a bali like a no it was so it had the triangular shape like an auto harp would have but it didn't have any of the buttons that an auto harp would have and it did not have a neck and So it was kind of like a harp that she was plucking with both hands. Yeah, there's probably a name for that. And she was also cute. It was just crazy. Okay, so back to... You were delirious, though. They may have all been mediocre looking. No, no, no. Eyes don't fool me now. Okay, so Putin's guy comes out. What's his name? The foreign... was it...

41:06 The foreign affairs parliamentary committee guy. It wasn't the foreign minister. Oh no, it wasn't Medvedev either. No, no, no. Medvedev. No, it was a lower level guy. And he says the tragedy in Paris shows it's not Russia threatening Europe. A little too early I think dude on this yeah, well, they're trying to do that's part of their never-ending Chechnya angle yes, so he's trying to needle us. Oh, yeah Yeah, you're always bitching about do our human rights abuses in Chechnya How do you like it? Yeah, and then just needle it West as much as they can about it. That's what they do That's what they do see we got a problem. You don't help us so this the and by the way

41:52 Even though I was listening to NPR and I couldn't watch TV, but TV was so useless. We really have to come up with a countermeasure for people who keep talking about wanting to have that conversation. Oh, that's another meme. This thing is being so overused. Yeah, no, hey, I'm writing it down. And we really need to have that conversation about our broken immigration system, which occurred due to a glitch in the Affordable Care Act. This stems from that Cluetrain manifesto book.

42:27 This stems from Silicon Valley. Really? The conversation. Oh, have that conversation, right. Yeah, the conversation. Oh, you know, it's not marketing anymore. It's a conversation. It's not marketing. Don't market to your customers. Conversation. Have a conversation. That's what social media is so good. Have a conversation on social media and then you'll see. I get the biggest kick and I've been seeing this more and more. And they're coming out of the woodwork because they're on LinkedIn everywhere because there's no jobs. So all these women, and mostly women, but there's a few guys, but I would say it's 90% women. They're social media experts. They're SEO and social media experts. I'm just trying to find, let me just see for a second. Remember that song?

43:11 that we played from that social media thing. Social, social. I'm trying to find it. What would it be? Well, let me continue with my rant. Yeah, please. So every one of them, I see these women coming, cropping up as social media, SEO, and they have all these, a Jack in the Box commercial, I actually made fun of them once. Of course, that was quickly shoved aside because it was sexist or something, like I suppose I'm being now. Not at all. So I always look these women up. I check them out, I go to Twitter. They have like a social media expert, and they got like 214 followers.

43:50 I'm going to top you on that. I took an Uber the other day and it was very nice, very nice girl who was driving. And you know, as you know, I'm continuously trying to figure out what's going on, how they're feeling, what's the, what's up with the company and did they like it? And she said, well, you know, I'm a social media expert and you know, to fill in some of the gaps, but I'm not a social media expert. I'm a social media expert. I'm a social media expert. I'm a social media expert. I'm a social media expert. My social media expert is now my uber driver that kind of shows you can we just get real

44:26 Do we really care about our fans or is this just another deal? Said another way that we lost our way Socials about the people remember we are people do we really need another like fan or share? Do we need another post to show up everywhere? I hope as we scatter that we never this is not the one this is a different one. No, this is it This is it. Oh, yeah posts live forever. Even when we go to bed Wow, it's all I can listen to that I can't The people that do these conferences and social media they have the same kind of quote-unquote community like youtubers

45:28 You know what I mean? Yeah, they do. YouTubers, well all the YouTubers got together. And then we, I mean it's really crazy, that guy's so great. It's just YouTubers. The social media experts all hang out together and the only thing they're social with is each other. Yeah, yeah. That's, I'm convinced that. And it's the biggest crock of crap ever. Yeah, I'm convinced that, you know, the YouTubers, it's a loop, you know, they're all eating each other's tails. I'm not- well, I stand corrected. You watch a lot of these stupid people on YouTube. Only to send links to you. I know. Well, careful because- And then you finally threatened me. I'm gonna bring it back. Let's get social! Social! And he had that crazy hat on. Yeah. Right. And I like the guy in the background. Social. Like he's the bass man on some old doo-wop group in the 50s.

46:24 Yeah. The newsflash, dude, you're not, uh, the hurtful. Um, anyway, so this conversation we have to have, that's where we came from. And we're going to, and this is the conversation we have to, which by the way, I am convinced means we're never going to talk about it when people say, yes, this is a conversation we'll need to have. That means we're never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to talk about it. Yeah. It's actually become a version of Hollywood speak. Yes. And this is truly about the political correctness. And I will, I gotta say America is the worst. You can't say retarded, say the R word. You know, you can't say, what are you? Can't say anything around. You can't say gypsies. You got gypsies. Oh, you're hurting somebody's feelings, man. You're a bully. Well, let's have this conversation right now. Here is Howard Dean.

47:20 Howard deemed failed presidential candidate. He is now the is he the head honcho of the Democrat Party? I think he was for a while. I think he's been replaced. I don't know what he's doing. I think he's running some PAC. They're all running PACs, super PACs now, which is what we should be doing. But I want to harken back. Do you know the title of this show? It's No Agenda. In case you missed that. Can I play this little clip from... I just want to do a little background on this guy before you... On Howard Dean. Good. And how this guy was a shoe-in for the presidential candidacy of 2008, I believe. Way ahead of the curve he had to get all this social stuff going on he had meetings they read what did you say social? Don't hit me it's a secret word of the day Good work everybody live it up Mary McCoy live it up bitches. Whoo, okay?

48:16 Sorry. So no one's ever seen this guy and he was a front runner. But no one's ever seen him, never seen him talk, never seen him anything. They brought him on, I think it was on the Leno Show. And he comes out and he's got a tie, a big red tie that's down to his knees. And he looks like a clown because of this tie. And he's a goofball. And so right there he's ruined the candidacy of himself and then of course he finally finished himself out when he was the guy who made that yell at the end and it was like on ISO. That's why they killed him. They killed him with that. He just looked like an idiot.

49:00 Okay, so he but he's still around and go. I'm just trying to find out what he does right now He is a see well. You should have found out, but I'm reading while you're giving me all this background I don't think he yeah Howard the duck I don't really know what he does it's not a Wikipedia Yeah, but it's the Wikipedia is big and long and not well. It should just say at the top. He is currently this No, you're right. It's for people like us. Yeah. From the show to do it from crap. I actually sent money to Wikipedia, five bucks or three bucks or whatever they wanted. No, I sent 50 bucks. I think that's, you know, that's fair. It's just a resource that we use. So I think we owe the money. Yeah. Yeah. But then unfortunately that, that begging thing pops up everywhere. They should make it okay. You know, Hey, thanks. Just say thanks. And then,

50:00 Don't pop that thing up everywhere. So from 2000, I would say he's the chairman of the National Democratic Committee from 2005 to 2009. Yeah, no, he doesn't do anything. I'm looking at this. Okay, but he's still a go-to guy for MSNBC then, I guess. Well, there's anybody. Yeah, yeah, because this is on the, he's on the Morning Joe show. By the way, I must say, I think I'm switching from Team Taylor to Team Mika. You can't do that. Yeah, I can. Why? Is it just because of a little lesbian kisses that we're finding out about? No, this is a chronic problem. I stopped calling these people Muslim terrorists. They're about as Muslim as I am. I mean, they have no respect for anybody else's life. That's not what the Quran says. And he's an expert on the Quran, by the way. Just so you know.

50:47 He's read the Quran in Arabic apparently. Because you know, that's the only way to read it. You know, Europe has an enormous radical problem and an enormous... I think ISIS is a cult, not an Islamic cult. This guy is all over the map. Europe has an enormous radical problem. ISIS is a cult. Really? It's a cult. And I think that, you know, you've got to deal with these people. The interesting thing here is we talked about guns the last time. in regarding the United States, regarding how guns get in the hands of the kind of people that killed the two police officers here two weeks ago. France has tremendous gun control laws and yet these people are able to get Kalashnikovs. So, you know, it's this is really complicated stuff. Oh, yeah. So he just did the worst thing you could do for an anti-gun political party.

51:38 He pretty much said, it really doesn't matter how tough the gun laws are, the bad guys will get whatever they want, including AK-47s. That's the old meme. When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns circa 1965. Bingo, boom, shakalaka. So it really goes against the grain of what he should be saying. And it almost makes an argument, you know, he said, well, in America, if that happened in Texas, you know, the outcome might've been different. People would not be sitting up there shooting these guys with their iPhones. I seriously think that if I was in that position, I would take someone out. I'm no hero. No, but you got a guy shooting his callistoc off randomly at everybody. Yeah, and you have the gun on you? Yeah. You get behind someone and start firing. Yeah. Hell yeah. Just randomly. I'm sorry, lady.

52:34 Sorry. And I think you have to treat these people as basically mass murderers, but I do not think that we should accord them any particular religious respect because I don't think that whatever they're claiming their motivation is clearly is a twisted cultish mind. So what we're getting now, and this is this is very, this is the worst kind of analysis. Right. But what what is happening here is the big effort is being made to say, oh, but it's not all Muslims, it's not just Islam. Why does this continuously happen? Why do they have to go to such lengths to say, oh, but it's not all Muslims?

53:15 I don't know, you know, if they wanted to do that, if they want to kind of keep the Muslim aspect off of this, or away from the argument, why don't they just not even discuss it, just discuss these guys as cold-blooded killers that had a grudge against this magazine? And who cares about the Muslim angle? They're assholes. The only reason we are talking about the Muslim angle is because someone said We don't have that someone documented saying this, that they screamed Allah Akbar and then, you know, revenge for the Prophet in French. But we don't... I mean, I have no evidence of this. I don't know. Well, maybe they did, maybe they didn't. It's beside the point. They're idiots. Yeah. And I thought it was kind of interesting how... But I think the real point you're making, which is one that we have to consider every so often, is what if the French were armed?

54:10 In that situation. And they were lax anyway. Apparently the guys had to go there and strong arm some girl to get them the password to get through the gate. I guess there's a door. You gotta be buzzed in. Yeah, with a code. No, it was a code, I think. Yeah, it was a code. You punch the code in and you're in. That's not much security. No. No. To shift a little bit just one last clip for me unless you got something on this I rather yeah, okay, you can play yours I'm gonna be I'm done with this. This is I'm done with Paris, but I'm moving on now to My other favorite spokeshole now. You know and now I can't even of course no one can really Compete with Jen and Marie I like Josh because he's an idiot, but the biggest idiot of all spokesholes has got to be this Kirby guy and

54:59 for the Pentagon. Oh yeah, that guy's great. Rear Admiral and I gotta, I gotta, I gotta start watching him more because he's a comedy act in himself. He really is. He's, he's, I would question whether he's not maybe the best of the group in terms of being a bonehead. I think he is. The problem is he doesn't have good question, questioners. Yeah, they need to. If you put Matt Lee in there, they would be much, much funnier. So, listen to this guy completely screw... Oh, and by the way, this may be the truth, but he's completely screwing up the positioning on ISIS, ISIL, IS, Daesh.

55:36 advertising, whatever you want to call it. But he throws some metaphors in there that are just head-scrashers. We know that hundreds of ISIL fighters have been killed. Can you be more specific on that number? I cannot give you a more specific number of how many ISIL fighters. We just know it's hundreds, several hundred. It's not, uh... I'd like to make two points. First of all, we don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack. What? What? We don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack. Wow. Where does this even come from? Wow. That is... I'm gonna have to stop the show.

56:26 That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It has to be Clip of the Day. I knew it! I had it ready! I knew it! Clip of the Day! From his deathbed, he throws out the Clip of the Day. Nose to schwack. I'll play it again for you just because it was so nice. It's not, uh... I'd like to make two points. First of all, we don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack. Is that a Yiddish term? Schwack? We're going to have to look into the etymology of this usage. It would be... And why would it be an official use of the Pentagon? Is that the way they're referring to killing people? Yeah, we schwacked a few guys this week, Bill. You know what? Hey, do we have a head count? We haven't got a nose count, man. Schwack. Miriam... Yeah, S-C-H-W-A-C-K. The Herbitionary? No, we'll go to Miriam Webster.

57:25 A large amount. Nah, that can't be right. No, that can't be right. He said we schwack. This is a verb. Is it in the urban dictionary? Yeah, schwack. Schwack. Oh, here's, yeah, it's kind of in here. Let me read this sentence. There's a word used in time of extreme pleasure. It's the smack of one with one's penis. On your nose You know well, maybe this is what those guys are all talking Maybe they're rocking around the Pentagon like hey man see that guy over there. I swiped his nose I swiped Jeff and his mom in the face last night before going to sleep What does that even mean? There's another one

58:08 Oh my goodness, schwack bitch! I was on Ludd Gulch and came across a sniper. He didn't know I was behind him so I gave him a schwack and took his sniper rifle then proceeded to go on a killing spree. Is that from Call of Duty? It doesn't have a... I don't know where that came from. It doesn't say. I have a common term amongst fellow South LA surfer dudes. Swack is a term often to describe the sound of a surfboard hitting the wave. Dude did you see that goth kid he was so schwack so this is Wow bless you yeah, oh, here's no I sure yeah, this is the one you just I swacked Jeff and his mom in the face last night There's another one a combination of bitch slap and smack huh and also that cool means cool that band was Shrek never heard that Wow well, maybe we're looking at I'm on I'm on the number six

59:07 to hit, drink, or smoke something. To hit, drink, or puff of said something as a verb. I schwacked my leg off of the desk and it hurt like hell. I took a schwack of my soda at lunch. So apparently more people thought this was rather peculiar. I've been reading, I did a search on schwack in the nose. I just wonder, does anyone have an analysis of what he really meant by, I think I know what he means. No, he meant he killed the guys. You know how many people we kill? Schwack. But why would he not anyway? He probably thinks of, he thought of the mobster term whack. Yeah, right. And then I don't know what he probably, I don't know what the schwack, where the, well maybe if I just look at it, Yiddish it up a little bit. Yeah. Add a little sch in there and then I got the sch, they got their whack, I got the schwack. That's what I'm afraid of. I'm afraid that this was some kind of Yiddish kind of thing that just came through on Mr. Kirby there. I don't know. Either that

1:00:07 Or you know someone just whacked him in the face with a schlong last night, and he's still thinking about it It's not I'd like to make two points first of all we don't have the ability to count every nose that we schwack Number two that's not the goal ah Just so you know our goal is not to schwack every nose This is good because I was gonna get a bit worried about our Pentagon and what their mission is That is not the goal is schwacking. What is the goal then mr.. Kirby? That's not the goal The less of these guys that are out there certainly that's the better, but the goal is to degrade and destroy their capabilities and we're not getting into

1:00:53 an issue of body counts. And that's why I don't have that number handy. I wouldn't have asked my staff to give me that number before I came out here. I think this is significant. It's also bullcrap. No one followed up with a why, of course. So what is then the measure of success of the war on ISIS? If body count doesn't count, we have to degrade and ultimately destroy. Now this degrade and destroy thing is is annoying. Have we ever done this with any enemy ever in our history? We're not gonna kill you. We just want to degrade your capabilities. What is this? This is all nonsense. Yeah, but there's a reason that there must be a reason for this.

1:01:41 Well, I'm sure there is a reason. Which will reveal itself over time. Yeah, 25 years once declassified. Which maybe we can leapfrog it with an analysis, but I don't have it. To me, it just means we have more to do with Daesh, ISIS, ISIL, IS than we are letting on. Because we don't want to be killing our own dudes. As in we're behind it? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to argue that point. Because you know we don't want to be killing the please don't get into counting bodies because we're going to degrade it Well, you can degrade it just by turning off the money supply You know I'm looking at the 36. I think it's this 36 be the 36. Yeah 36 be entries on the register

1:02:28 Yeah, there's a couple of things to note here. Actually, I want to also do a throwback question or observation. First of all, the banking system is pretty secure universally. You can't run around, you can't be throwing billions of dollars through the system unnoticed that you can't put a stop to it. The system can put a stop to it. The banking system can put a stop to these guys. That was the end of it. They don't have any money. They have to use gold coin if they're going to do anything. The other thing, by the way, I want to mention just like since we kind of passed on it, I forgot to mention it during the discussion is, hey, where was NSA with these two guys shooting up the cartoonists? They got their ears on everybody. How come they didn't spot this coming in a mile away? Where was all the great security systems out there that are spying on Americans who are trading stocks?

1:03:22 Why can't they find these two guys? They were using cell phones. They were connected like everyone else. Huh? Yeah, huh? I ask you. I can only agree. This is the 36B1 armed sales notification from January 6, 2015. A bad chat out there in Colorado. He's the one that always tracks us down. He puts us on the NOAA News Network. And if, let's see, so we have that, you know, when you sell something to some other people out there, which is when you sell weapons, you got to register your thing with the Pentagon. In fact, this letter goes to the Speaker of the House, actually, John Boehner, the Speaker pursuant to the reporting requirements, 36B1, Arms Export Control Act, as amended, we are forwarding here with transmittal number 13-45 concerning the Department of the Army's proposed letter

1:04:20 letters of offer and acceptance to Iraq for defense articles and services estimated to cost 2.4 billion dollars and And of course the way the letter is written, it's major defense equipment with an asterisk 1.7 billion and that includes 175 full-track M1A1 Abrams tanks I think I've seen ISIS driving these things. Yeah, yeah, so we're sending part. They grabbed him. Yeah sure yeah, they're ready to get the training to drive one of those things I don't think I could just jump in an Abrams tank and hit the start button and drive it around. Oh well Seth Rogen could Then there's the my favorite category on the yeah, I know my favorite category is other

1:05:12 And that's probably the training, 1.7 billion as well. So that's full-track M1A1 Abrams tanks with 120mm guns, modified and upgraded to the configuration 15M88A2 improved tank recovery vehicles. We've got 175 .50 caliber M2 machine guns with a Chrysler mount. What is a Chrysler mount? Does that mean it won't fit on the Toyota? Sounds... It could be I don't know. Well now you got me interested. We're gonna be looking it up I got a lot of ammo. It's not a machine gun, right? Yes, the 50 caliber m2 machine gun with Chrysler mount that's got to be the ones used on the trucks Yeah for a Chrysler I presume well, maybe originally multi-purpose tracer ammo, huh?

1:06:04 Oh, you use tracer ammo. Well, you use that because it looks better. Target practice. Oh, target practice, multi-purpose tracer ammo. Okay. Vehicular dual long-range radio systems. Cargo vehicles, receiver transmitters, simulators, communications, quality assurance teams. Oh, there we go. Here we go. Support equipment, fuel, transportation. We're selling the fuel too. Spare and repair parts, site surveys, quality assurance teams, special tools and test equipment, personnel training, training equipment, publications, technical documentation, U.S. government and contractor technical engineering and logistical support, services and related elements of program and logistic support. So it's all in there. The training is all a part of it. We don't just send off a couple of tanks and say, here you go.

1:06:54 No, no of course not but this is the stuff these guys are all system. It's a system. We're selling yes We're selling systems a platform. It's a platform exactly. That's a platform. Did you find the Chrysler amount or? Yeah, it's I'm looking at it. They do they have them use them on jeeps. It's a usually it's in the tank Hmm for the machine gun I guess it goes looking at this one picture Yeah, well, I will look into it more. I think it is. I don't know where they get these things. Yeah. So, you know, no wonder we're only trying to degrade. We don't actually want to put anybody out of business because we have stuff to sell. Yeah. There's lots of stuff. And, you know, I don't know, man, maybe it's just me that finds it strange. Why shouldn't it just be on? Can't it just also be on the news? Hey, we just sold

1:07:50 2.4 billion dollars worth of stuff to Iraq? That should help degrade and defeat ISIL ultimately. Well, the ISIL guys will end up with it. That's, you know, that means we have to sell more. Yes. Now you're catching on to it. That's why we can't have a body count. We can't shwack the noses. No, no, no. We sell $2 billion worth of stuff. ISIL, they put it somewhere like in Mosul and then the ISIL comes along, they take it all. And so they're driving down the streets and all our stuff that they, that you're, Iraqis bought. Now they got to buy more stuff because they had their stuff stolen. So we sell them another $2 billion worth of stuff, and then that gets stolen, so we got to sell them another $2 billion worth of stuff. We scold them, of course. How much of this stuff do we have to sell you before you don't have it stolen every time? And then we go steal it.

1:08:38 All right, John. With that, I would like to thank you for your courage and say in the morning to you, John C. Chrysler Mount Dvorak. Yeah, well, in the morning to you, Adam Curry. In the morning to all ships that see boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, and all the dames and knights out there. And a reminder, the subs are always in the water, just so you know, and they are always listening. And in the morning to all of our human resources there in the chat room who are getting social with each other. Good to see y'all. Social. Social. Social media. Noahjennestream.com and thank you to our artists. We had, I think it was, let me see, I wrote it down. PewDiePie who did the art for episode 684. Now I have to go look it up because I'm sick. I don't remember much. Ah yes, this was the Welcome Center piece, very nice. Yeah, that was a good one. That was a very good piece. Noahjennartgenerator.com, always happy.

1:09:35 Always always happy to see the art that shows up and it's always highly appreciated. This should be this, you know, schwack the nose. Maybe this should be a t-shirt or you know, we got to do something with that. Shrek the nose maybe it could be a dance. It'll be a show title shrek the nose There you go, so we have a little competition going on I see a worldwide competition between our Well-heeled Knights Oh starting with Paul Simon who? Contributed $799 99 cents out of Toronto and does have a note that he mailed in Wow which I will go read now

1:10:13 Now does he move into a... He has become a baronet and he wants to be the Baron von Sizemarck of the upper horseshoe. Sizewell. Well he's, no, he's got it here, Sizemarck, he's changed it. Sir Sizewell of the upper horseshoes becoming Baron von Sizemarck of the upper horseshoe. Okay, let me make sure I have that. And here's what he says. In the morning Rogaine and Flacco. The rapid ascent of Sir Don Tommaso, this is the kind of thing that used to take place during the feudal era. The rapid ascent of Sir Don Tommaso di Toronto has me concerned.

1:10:57 As I do not want to wake up one day homeless in the Gitmo back bacon Once conquered by our forefathers. I am making the move move from baronet to Baron with a $7.99 donation kick in a penny, please I'm kicking as we speak making it 800 big penny big penny Please done me Baron von size mark of the upper horseshoe, and I'd like to expand my territory westward and to boot Sir Gerald's eastern border. If Sir Don likes, he can formalize our claim on Cuba. I think we need stakes in the ground. That's something. I'd like a James Brown ISIS in America followed by a drone again and a much needed job, Carmen, to keep this donation party going. Wow.

1:11:47 Baron von Sizemark. Okay. Or Sizemark. Could be Sizemark. I think it's Sizemark of well upper Canada. That's what it was. Yeah, Sizemark. Sorry, Baron. No, it's okay. We're good. It's a fight going. It's a battle. It's great. I love it. All right, here we go. ISIS. We will follow them to the gates of hell. ISIS. And by the way, that's not true. We're not gonna follow ISIS to the gates of hell because we're not supposed to be schwacking the noses. I think that's the best clip I've decided.

1:12:33 Jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs. Let's vote for jobs! You thought, harm us. You know the sick thing about that is that whole vote for jobs that we've been playing for eight years or whatever we've been playing this now. There's no jobs. That's the sick part of it. I know. The jobs that we voted, we didn't actually get any jobs. No, no jobs came. Just vote for jobs, she yells. This is when she was the house speaker. Yeah. Hard to remember this. She's 80 now. Really? Well, no, not quite. Maybe. She might be. All right, onward. Francis M. Sheehy came in with $600 from Worcester, Massachusetts. And not much of a note here, but there is one. By this time I should be a knight. That's the note. I think it's true. What I am recognized as not important.

1:13:28 I am not looking for karma. I do not wish to be de-douched. I only want this to continue. The show, that is. Adios, mofos. Well, thank you. I'll, you know, fine. We'll still do a ceremony for you, if you don't mind, Francis. And this is Francis's, um, is, uh, it's a male. Good because it says night, so I'm presuming it so it says nice, so I'm assuming it's because Francis is an ambiguous name like Pat yes Anonymous from parts unknown seven hundred sixty seven dollars and eighty nine cents, and we have no information on this person And they went out of their way to be anonymous as hell so not a probably intelligence community God knows well someone wants to continue Obama. It's someone who likes what we're doing and

1:14:21 Jessica flood would be sad if it was like, you know, it was like Ted Cruz who really liked us or something. That would be a little disappointing. That'd be great. No. Yeah. Because we'd be influencing Ted Cruz. Okay. He needs influencing that guy. That's true. Jessica flood. Here's the sweetest note. I believe this, this is the note that now other women will have to top this note. And I have to say, John sent a reply to this. and cc'd me on it. And you actually said, sweetest note ever. I think you had E-V-A-H. I did not do E-V-A-H. I said ever.

1:15:00 Dear John, this is Jessica in West Babylon, New York. $333.33. And she asked to read the note. We always read the notes if they're over 200, so you don't have to really request that. I'm donating today on behalf of my husband, Justin Flood. Friday, January 9th is his 33rd birthday. Hello. 33. And I couldn't think of a better gift than to donate to his favorite podcast. We can't think of a better gift either. He listens to it during his commute and I know it makes the New York traffic a little less crappy. Yeah, I can imagine. She says to Justin, despite all the terrible news and all the setbacks of the last year, we still had each other and we still have our dreams. There's no one else I'd rather go through life's ups and downs with than you.

1:15:48 Hopefully 2015 will be much better to us than 2014 was. Happy birthday, honey. I love you. Please give us some karma and also play his favorite jingle which is don't raff. Thanks for all the hard work guys. Keep hitting him in the mouth. Jessica flood. Oh, from tasty. I get more tasty bagels. Well, that's that's beautiful. I thought so. So she wanted Don't laugh and what else don't look the long version of don't wrath and obviously some karma some karma. Oh, that's beautiful That's very nice. I can understand and and of course she gave all the magic number. So she must be listening to yeah Yeah, obviously a lot of threes involved in this note. Don't laugh. Why are you laughing? Shut up

1:16:41 Shut up Shut up, you've got a picture and finally from Cardiff UK upskirt $290 from Eric's Harjo Hi, Adam and John. Thank you for your amazing news analysis and entertainment mix you guys are truly the best But we don't have an entertainment mix What does that mean? What he's meaning is that the news is entertaining and together it becomes an entertainment mix. Now on Magic 95.5, great news analysis and a fantastic entertainment mix. And weather on the 8th.

1:17:22 You're truly the best podcast in the universe. Can I have an Obama A-team and karma for my eBay shop? And I asked him what the eBay shop was and I don't think I got a note back yet. Oh, I'd love to know what the eBay shop is. Yeah, I'm gonna look him up. It must be hard, eBay shop. It depends. I think if you have really, if you get the right stuff to sell, I think you do pretty well. There's a need for a rescue mission. When the world is threatened, the world needs help, it calls on America. And that's the story you've got karma yeah Always happy to do that and that's it. Let me take one quick look for the eBay shop, okay? We can give him a quick plug

1:18:13 Here it is, donation eBay shop. Chat room suggests perhaps he sells Chrysler mounts at his eBay shop. That'd be in the money. Well, you know, you just read these things. Gorgeous Clothes and Stuff. It's a UK shop. It stores eBay.co.uk and it's called Gorgeous Clothes and Stuff with an N, just an N. And he is shop first aid kit for awareness. Okay. Well, holy moly people. Thank you very much for helping us out. So we have a couple of nightings later on today. Looking forward to that. And we do have a Sunday show coming up to remind people to go to Dvorak.org slash NA also channel Dvorak.com which I think is still down so don't go there. But you can go to the No Agenda Nation or No Agenda Show actually. Yeah, No Agenda Show. Click on the button there and you'll go right to one of the pages. But Dvorak.org slash NA is the key.

1:19:16 And these credits are real. You can put them on your business cards. You can put them on LinkedIn. That's where everyone seems to like to use them. And they do apparently work. People are interested. Hey, how does this person get this producer? What's going on here? And of course, we'll always vouch for you if there's any doubt about the fact that you are an executive or associate executive producer. I have one PR plug request. Wired Magazine or wired dot com. Someone sent me this so many podcasts my phone's about to cave in under the weight of all the shows I've downloaded but haven't listened to yet Even so we here at wired are always on the lookout for more got any great recommendations. Please leave them here

1:20:00 It's time for us to start getting on this bandwagon. Yeah, we need more promotion Yeah, so everyone should write to this guy and wired what you gonna put but you have this on the show notes me of course starts in the show notes and and I just posted Okay, what is it? What's the guy who is this guy Eric Stoyer? Okay go to Bug the whole link is say you did just go to the show notes is the link for this thing is in the show This one step too many for a lot of people well then I'm just telling you, it's one step too many. I just put it into the chat room and that'll be a good boost. Okay, we just need a few people to do it. Yeah, just... Yeah, this guy will probably like our show. Most people who aren't clinically insane love our show. Yeah, they do. It's true. We'll see if they figure out what the show is about. I'm sorry? I said, they gotta get into the show. The show is pretty... Well, I got a note from the nurses that we were talking about.

1:21:00 Yeah, they said thanks for the nurse prop. Props. Nurse props. Yeah. Oh, that was it? Yeah. It was just your name here is doing this to a lot of people. All right. The science is in! Hey, go out there and propagate our formula, will ya? Our formula is this. We go out, we hit people in the mouth. Shut up!

1:21:38 Hello your name here. I had a great time meeting you Thanks for the nurse props okay nice alrighty then already then Let me see I've been there's a new mean and this meme came to meme With a link to let's see this was a little report here. Oh and an anonymous, but not anonymous to me, person who I do believe is in a position to know that this is happening. That's all I can say. That we have, there's going to be a new avenue in the fight against climate change. Oh good. Yes. Good. I'm getting tired of the old stuff. Yes. So they're going to fill something new in there. You ready for it?

1:22:33 The Delaware-sized methane cloud over New Mexico has become an increasing cause for concern and a point of contention among environmentalists and energy companies. The Washington Post reports that despite its 2,500 square mile spread, the plume is invisible from the ground and thus went largely undetected for some time. About three years ago, its presence was brought to light when it showed up on images taken by NASA satellites. The researchers who looked into the matter were so shocked by the readings that they were certain something had malfunctioned. It turned out that was not the case and the massive gaseous spread is real. The primary cause is fuel mining, as methane releases a side effect of a number of extraction processes. While methane itself is an energy source, it's not one that companies drilling for oil are particularly interested in collecting or containing. Environmentalists and a number of scientists on the other hand are greatly concerned about the effects of leaving such a powerful greenhouse gas flow freely into the air.

1:23:25 President Obama is expected to soon announce measures to shrink the cloud's size. But while the specifics are not known, members of Congress who support the energy industry are expected to push back. It's going to shrink the cloud's size. Shrink the cloud, Barack! Yeah, so the message I got is methane is the new carbon dioxide. And it was suggested we actually put this in the book, even, in the Red Book. And the reason why is kind of simple. So first of all, this methane cloud is over New Mexico, which really doesn't make a lot of sense the way the... The global warming climate change community has been looking at the creation of methane. They all pretty much universally say, oh, it's because of the acidification and the CO2 goes into the ocean and then methane comes out of the comes pooping out of the ocean. And speaking of pooping, the other way we get methane is cow farts.

1:24:19 Which, you know, it's funny. And then permafrost. Permafrost melts, you get methane released. Hold on a second, let's back up. They claim, at least what I heard from that clip, is that this is a function of the... Fracking. Fracking and the guys don't give a crap about it. Correct. But methane is what they're collecting, mostly. Yeah, this I wouldn't know. Part of natural gas, a big chunk of it, a big component is methane. So why don't they give a crap? I don't know. Oh, here we are fracking away, hell with it, let it all go into the air. Is that what they're saying? Because that's what I heard. That's what I heard. Yeah. But he specifically said that, oh, they don't give a crap about the methane because methane's only here as a greenhouse gas that we can exploit. I mean, seriously.

1:25:09 Well, I don't know if we need to be debating that. I just wanted us to get it on our radar and our producers out there to be listening for methane to move in to... Look, the CO2 thing, it's just not working anymore. We had 350 parts per million. It would be catastrophic if we went past that. And we're now at 460 parts per million. And I don't know, let me check. I can still breathe, I'm not dead yet. It just hasn't worked for them. But methane, yeah, methane, you can start pushing a lot more buttons and it's much more dangerous. And we have a methane cloud we can talk about. There's no carbon dioxide cloud.

1:25:54 Methane in the form of compressed natural gas is used as a vehicle fuel. Methane is important for electrical generation by burning it as a fuel in a gas turbine or steam generator compared to other hydrocarbon fuels. Burning methane produces less carbon dioxide. But yet, these drillers are just throwing the methane away. That's what the guy said. Oh, they don't care about the methane? Yeah, they care about the methane. This is very interesting because if they really start going on and on about methane as the, it could become the greenhouse gas that we're all talking about and they continue on this, it's the frackers, then that would be a big mistake. Well, it's because they've got this, whoever dreamed this pitch up is an idiot. That's the problem.

1:26:51 Oh, the giant cloud of methane. Well, let's go grab that cloud. It's worth money. I don't think this is going to fly. This will be the last we hear of it. Wait, wait, take it back. Give it 30 days. That'll be the last one. Okay. Well, I give it 30 days This is the message I got from someone who I think probably sits in meetings where this person would hear this Well methane is the new co2. It's okay. Yeah, I do They've always said that they like the idea of methane being because it is in so far as these sorts of this chemistry isn't in is concerned, methane is like CO2 in terms of being a greenhouse gas. And they like to argue that the permafrost, the people up in where all the, you know, Greenland, for example, has got lots of built up methane in the snow. It's all in there.

1:27:44 And so you melt it all and boom, the methanol goes into the air. That's what we had Holdren talking about. We're doomed. Yeah, we're doomed. We just don't really know how much it'll take to melt the pomegranate. What this has to do with a cloud over New Mexico from fracking is beyond me. Why doesn't it dissipate? We do have atmospheric conditions that would blow this crap all over the place. Well, you recall that the president is going to announce measures to shrink the size of the cloud. Now this could be interesting. You could do that with, well, geoengineering I would say. It can get fun. Well on the topic of, this is I find to be a funny story because... Why did you play that? Geoengineering. Oh I see. Oh yeah, you could probably spray the methane with something. You know, like lighter fluid and then just torch the whole thing off.

1:28:42 Play Quakes in Texas and tell me what's missing from this report done on the network news. The ground won't stop shaking in Texas. 11 quakes of various strengths in the last 24 hours, mostly in the Fort Worth area. No injuries, no cause, no serious damage quite yet, just to people's nervous systems. No cause. Well, this fracking has gone crazy. Of course it's fracking. And this is a known Factor in the earthquake just an area in Nevada that or Nevada that has a bunch of fracking and it got just nothing but quakes going on these little shakers. They're annoying yeah, and Are they really yeah quakes are annoying? You don't think so I always found them to be interesting no no no they're annoying you something to talk about well I'd rather talk about other things whatever the case

1:29:37 And I think, you know, the idea of putting all these lubricants into the faults where there's areas where there's... I haven't heard about this. Lubricants? Well, I mean, this is what they're doing. This is what it sounds like. You get into some of these crazy fault areas, like Texas has a lot of faults that never get They never move because they've just been there forever, but they're there. I guess they move every million years or something. And then you just throw a bunch of oil and lubricants down in there, just move it in there and oil them up, and then they start to move. Lube up Mother Earth. So lubing up California seems to be like the worst idea in the world. And luckily, the Californians decided to ban fracking. I don't think the Californians need any more lube. I think they're lubed up enough as is. Well, there's that.

1:30:24 Anyway, I just thought it was funny how he just glossed it over. No idea why it's happening. It's a mystery. I was looking at, of course, it's snowing again over in Europe. Something that poor British children would never see ever again. I wish we had a clip of that. I don't, it's only an article in, was it the Guardian? It was a big deal. There was a lot of people writing about it. But it was ten years ago, so yes unfortunately The only place children would see snow would be in snow globes and in Disney movies Yes, that would that's what the pronouncement was by the experts now in the UK But also the Netherlands as many places they have these wind farms in the in the North Sea or the channel and they in this case the North Wales coastline and

1:31:19 And I used to see them all the time, of course, because I'd fly, you know, flying over. And this really is... it's... I find it to be so strange that, you know, it's like, hey, let's just put this stuff into the water. I don't know, I've never liked the idea. But now that it's so cold and there's not a lot of wind, they literally are powering these windmills with diesel-powered energy to keep them turning so that it frees and break. This is so crazy. Because they're not turning and it's cold, we have to now use electricity to turn these things over to keep them rotating. Comey came out with a confirmation that it was North Korea. Did you hear this? I read about it. Do you have a clip? I have a clip. It's for the FBI North Korean. Now listen carefully because you're the one who spotted this.

1:32:26 When Comey's, he doesn't do it every time but he does it the first time. Oh, his little right, right? Am I right? Right? In between. It's very subtle, he's very subtle, right? It's very subtle, right? It's very, it's right. You know, right? We ready? Yeah. The director of the FBI now says there is very clear evidence that North Korea was behind the hacking of Sony Pictures. James Comey sought today to answer skeptics who have said the U.S. provided no evidence to support its claim. He told a conference in New York that U.S. investigators tracked the hackers and found the evidence.

1:33:02 Several times they got sloppy. Several times, either because they forgot or they had a technical problem, they connected directly and we could see them. And we could see that the IP addresses that were being used to post and to send the emails were coming from IPs that were exclusively used by the North Koreans. The Sony Pictures Computer Network was crippled as the company promoted The Interview, a comedy about a plot to kill North Korea's leader. The film is now available online and in a limited number of theaters. So I only heard him do it once, right? Yeah, it was there. It was at the beginning. But is this the secret evidence? This is the secret evidence that he... They found an IP address. By the way, it's not as if somebody can't route through that address or that somebody can't spoof that address or somebody can't do a million things with that IP address. Or there was a Chinese guy sitting there or worse, an American agent at that IP address. Could be anything. But that's proof.

1:34:07 to this guy. This is not proof of anything. It's not proof of anything. It's just less proof it seems to me. They got nothing. And Comey is not the problem. The FBI gets a hair up their ass about something and they can't get off it. They could never say, well, we were thinking it. What's going to happen? is eventually the guys who did this because they're gonna get cocky or something's gonna happen and they're gonna get caught, the real guys. That, you know, ex-Sony employees. Sony's gonna probably put investigators on this so they find the guys. Because these guys need to be found. So they'll find the guys and there'll be a big deal about it and then the FBI will be asked about this and then they'll have some bullcrap excuse for the

1:34:47 First of all, you know at the time We didn't think was that important. I don't even think they'll respond. They won't even do that. It won't it won't be necessary This is just I want to forget about it. Yeah, maybe I got a note from Don. Mmm the plot thickens Well, I had sent him a note and I'd said See what I wrote here about the crazy demonization by the administration for the Sony hack, even though clearly this is not a shoe-in. And I say interesting how almost covered up by this continuous messaging from Pyongyang and President Park about a possible reunification.

1:35:30 Yeah, so that's the real news here and he comes back says Adam I think it's very significant that Kim Jong-un himself spoke giving his New Year's message Which I've now read through I read through the translated transcript. It's pretty funny And saying that he would like to meet with Park Jin Juen. Why see I only said Park, which is of course a faux pas So Don comes back. It's Park Yoon he I guess This has evoked positive responses from the ROK Prime Minister. This is something I wanted to point out to you. We don't say South Korea, we say ROK, all caps. If you're in the business. Just so you know, just a note.

1:36:13 This has evoked positive responses from the ROK Prime Minister and Unification Minister, so that is good. I think controversy will continue to swirl around US charges of NK hacking, also notable NK, and the new sanctions will not amount to much. So on we go. Cheers, Don." Whatever that means, on we go. I'm sure the same bullcrap continues. What it means. Yeah. A couple of interesting things. I got a thing for you. Play the Blitzer teaser. Oh, boy. Tens of thousands of lives potentially at risk in what could be the worst flu season here in the United States. In years, a leading doctor tells me, though, it's not too late to protect yourself. I could put a condom over my head. Yes. Thank goodness.

1:37:13 That was from three years ago. Oh, really? Good work. Yeah, that was good. You got me there. You got me. Harry Reid, who I saw in your newsletter, spoke... Oh, beat up. We got to talk about this. Yes. And I thought it was... So someone went to his house and interviewed him. And I think this... So we believe, particularly because the guy's in Nevada, Nevada, Nevada. You know he's coming in to you know there's a new house. He is now minority.

1:37:49 He's ousted from the he was the he's the Senate Senate. I'm sorry. Yeah, he's you know, but he's been ousted but it's something he did something wrong or said something wrong and someone beat him up Yeah seems very obvious. He got a big black eye. I don't see a broken ribs where they kicked him Yeah, I don't see any other damage but his right eye is like someone really sucked it broke his eye socket Yeah, yeah, that's what it looks like. Yeah, probably the baseball bat now We analyze how people talk all the time. And often when someone is lying, they will actually try and refute the lie in the lie.

1:38:31 And it'll be a big tell because even though you haven't asked, now remember, he's just saying this was some exercise equipment, that something snapped, that was the initial reports, that it was like one of those rubber bands, which I have never really heard of those snapping, but okay. And then when they snap, they don't snap like a rubber band. And they don't break your eyesight. They go dead. It's a strange type of rubber. It's very safety oriented. So I think Harry Reid went way overboard in trying to play down... I'm glad you have this clip. ...any thinking whatsoever that, you know, maybe he was beat up. Most people know I fought for a couple of years. After any one of those fights, I never looked like I do now. However, I didn't get this black eye by sparring with Manny, by challenging Floyd Mayweather. I didn't go bull riding. I wasn't riding a motorcycle. I was exercising in my new home. And,

1:39:32 The doctors have told me I better take it easy. I had my presentation all made to start the new Congress. I've been in new Congresses for something like 33rd year and I really have some homesickness for lack of a better description. So he drops into 33, which is always a clue for us. And he was exercising in his new home. Just whatever you think he was not fighting, he was not boxing, didn't challenge Meriwether. Who asked you that? In all the years of boxing, I never looked this bad. Who asked you that? Well, he did make that point clear. But I think that to me means this wasn't a fair fight. It was three guys. I was exercising my home, they came in and they beat me up. Well, that's apparently what happened. I think so. So here's an interesting thing. He assumed office in 1987. Add 33 to that.

1:40:49 I'm too fuzzy to do that. Well, I can do that. 038-910-1112. That would be, I guess, 2020. So it can't quite be his 33rd year is what you're saying. Well, it looks like. If he assumed office in January 3rd, 1987. Hmm. 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. You add 33 to that, because that's the number he dropped in for an obvious reason that we believe was code. It always is. And the number comes out to be 2020. What's the date? What year are we dealing with here? We're in 2015, so that's his... So it's five years off. It would have been even better if he said, look, I didn't get schwacked in the nose. No, he didn't. He got schwacked in the eye. So this is very sketchy.

1:41:40 But of course what it is, we don't know. I mean the corruption, the style of corruption, the mob type corruption in Nevada is beyond our comprehension. And the kind of deals that this guy's done over the years is completely outside of our purview. We have no idea. We're not even close to having a clue. But it was something that much we know. I was looking for this earlier, but just because of my And by the way, I'm not eating. I have a lozenge for my sore throat. I'm not going to complain. No, I'm telling everyone else. You were eating this disgusting. I don't want to hear you. Hey, can we before we leave the Harry Reid thing, can we talk a minute about marketing? Because I think everyone's what people there's people like to know some of the things I do when I do the newsletter. Yes, please.

1:42:29 This time, and I just thought this was kind of fascinating. I don't do this that often, I do it once in a while, but I did an A-B split on the last newsletter. Oh, you went for a, this was a marketing test. Yes, I did a marketing test. And I found it fascinating. I've done these before, I don't do them a lot, but I do them once in a while, and I usually learn nothing now, and I never talk about it on the show. So I must have learned something, and I have, it's very interesting. And this is just about the kind of, when I do the newsletter, people, they respond to some things, some things they don't. It's like a little world unto itself when the newsletter comes, but it's never been more apparent than with this particular A-B split. So the A-B split was, and this is, nothing was different except one thing, because you'd have to test very specifically, and this was the subject line.

1:43:28 Ah, okay. The subject line in group A was first cute kitten pic of 2015, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Now, first of all, let me just ask you, just so you know, because you don't know until you test, but what would you think would be the results of this in terms of opens? There was a difference in opens. Okay. So I would think, and that is also because when I saw the newsletter come in, I went, oh, that's interesting. I want to see this picture. So I would think that the Harry Reid beaten up picture would rule. Okay.

1:44:18 Over the over the first kitten pick of the year, right? Okay, the Harry, now the difference was minor, but it was significant. Minor but significant makes no sense, but it was noticeably different. The Harry Reid picture did outperform in terms of opens and in terms of relooks. So people opened more and then they looked at it again. They went back for more? A lot of people do. They go back. Some people, 10 times, they go, I'm gonna open this again. Maybe there's something new in here. Really? I don't know why they do it, but they do. That's interesting. But that's not what happened initially. When the results first came in, when the thing was shipped out, the kitten pig just jumped ahead of the Harry Reid picture.

1:44:58 And then it moved over, over time as people later in the day started picking up their emails or whatever. In other words, the enthusiasts, people who are just on their email all the time, and as soon as it comes in, they open. Those types of people apparently are a different type of person than would...that would be attracted...they'd be attracted to kittens. And the picture of Harry Reid being beaten up is a different type of person. So we have two different kinds of people. And once you get that kind of thing, then you get some interesting information. Here's what was interesting. I could go over this for hours, but the thing that really got me. was the total clicks. In other words, people who clicked on one of the links that was either donate or, which is the only links I had in this particular newsletter, is donate. Can you click on the pictures to get bigger versions of the pictures? No, no. Okay. I had none of those variables. The picture was the picture. The chatroom believes they are all your lab rats, by the way. No, when you're trying to get people to read and open newsletters, you have to

1:46:00 There's things you have to do to get them to do it because they won't open these letters. Here's the only thing... Dr. Justin Marchegiani, Number 10, nobody will open it. Okay, but what I would like to do in–I enjoy listening to this and I think it's very good that we do this on the show, but I would like to call it John C. Dvorak's Big Data Report instead. Newsletter sounds a little, you know, weird. It's a big data report. We need to position ourselves as the big data guys who know what they're talking about. This was the interesting part of it. Now, the difference between opens was about 2%. Two percent more people opened than Harry Reid being beaten up. Well, is that not just negligible? That's a big deal. That's a lot. Oh, it's a big deal? Okay.

1:46:42 Percentages are a big deal with this sort of thing. But, this is the thing that fascinates me. Total clicks was twice, over twice as many people clicked on the kitten. News that these newsletters were identical by the way. Yeah, they were. It's the click on one and not the other. If you got the newsletter open and you read it. You know why? They were like, where's the cute kitten? Where's the cute kitten? They saw the kitten. The kitten was at the end. It was a cute little kitten. You saw the kitten. Both of the newsletters had the kitten picture. Their newsletters were totally identical. But the people who clicked on Harry Reid being beaten up

1:47:21 And the people who clicked on the first cute kitten pic were a different type of person. So in other words, the kitten people are more, they seem to be nicer. They're just nicer people. They don't want to see some guy who's been beaten up. And so they clicked more. Wow. So it created an actual world. The subject line itself created a world. The world of kittens and the world of a beaten up senator. And the world of kittens is more open to clicking and donating. I doubt if anybody opened a Harry Reid email sent anything. Donate anything. Oh, okay.

1:48:02 So you have to keep...so this is the message for you marketers out there. You've got to be upbeat no matter what. You just see it's upbeat is better as opposed to downbeat because Harry Reid being beaten up is downbeat messages. It's only in the subject line. The newsletter is exactly the same, but it's downbeat. You're immediately down. Oh, the guy's been beaten up. Oh look at that, he's been beaten up because you focus on it. The other one, oh where's the cute kitten, where's the cute kitten? Oh that's great, I'll give, I'll donate, I'll contribute, I'll maybe become a producer. So that's, I learned, I personally found that to be extremely eye-opening. Wow. There you have it. Well let's play the song. Alright so for next, for the next newsletter I suggest you do another A-B test.

1:49:02 And the first one is extremely cute kitten picture and the other, and the B would be extremely cute pussy picture. Uh-huh. And would you think it'll make a difference? No. Oh, okay. Some people won't open it because they think it's some sort of a gag. Yeah, exactly. But you could do, I could try kittens versus dogs. I think that might be an interesting test. But see now we've blown it because now you said it, now people are going to be waiting for the BPC. Yeah, they'll be looking for it. So I have to wait. It takes a while, about six months from now I can run another test. You're funny. But at least I learned something. I mean I was actually stunned by this data. I can understand. Wow. People do not like to be bummed out.

1:49:48 Well, okay, and then why they keep... And it bothers me when somebody says that because we try to make our show so you get a kick out of the news. Yeah, so it's funny. Out of the crazy lies that you're being presented by the mainstream media. Yes. But every once in a while, it says, oh, I get so depressed listening to your show. Why? Let's try and spice it up a little bit. Wow, okay. I wanted to go back to the FBI and Comey. Okay. And I was looking for it earlier, but I couldn't find it that quickly. The FBI has, so we all know about the stingrays, these boxes and they suck up, you know, it looks like a cell tower and then your cell phone connects to it and it sucks all your data out. Which is still not, we don't exactly know what it sucks out. But the, I think the ACLU

1:50:33 Santa Fe a request. No, I think they're actually suing the FBI. Let me see if I can find it here and The question was do you not need or do you need a warrant when you have a Cessna flying over? Over a city and and so they can pick up, you know tens of thousands of cell phone IMEI numbers and a whole bunch of things they can suck out of these out of these cell phones and when they fly it over a city or any open space, or if there's a protest or demonstration going on. And the FBI, yeah, you wouldn't believe it, but they literally have said, here we go, FBI policy requires FBI agents to obtain a search warrant whenever a call site simulator, that's what it's officially called, is used as part of an FBI investigation or operation unless one of several exceptions apply.

1:51:30 including cases that pose an imminent danger to public safety, which of course is the one you can always evoke, but cases that involve a fugitive or, and this is the interesting one, cases in which the technology is used in public places or other locations in which the FBI deems there's no reasonable expectation of privacy. Which means the FBI is equating the sucking the sucking of your cell phone with you walking down the street and someone observing you walking down the street with a camera or other kind of surveillance, which I find to be an abhorrent comparison. I think it's a specious too because it's not the same. No. For one thing, you know, I see people walking down the street and yakking about something. I guess I could follow them and hear what they're saying, but I can't hear the other side of the conversation. No. And you can with, and I don't know who they're talking to. Exactly.

1:52:26 I mean, once in a while in an airplane you get this, you got some blowhard and he's, yeah, well, I'll tell you, you know, I'll be at the line, give me a call at 717-555, and he goes on with some number, I write it down. And then I call the guy and leave us a lewd message. So this has risen up to the level of what's a Chuck Grassley and some other dude, Leahy, And they are now asking Comey questions because they really...and Holder. So they...and J. Johnson. And here's a bit of their letter. Dear Attorney General Holder and Secretary Johnson, in recent months media reports have detailed the use of cell site simulators often referred to as IMSI catchers or stingrays by the federal state law enforcement agencies. And they have another cool one in here.

1:53:15 The Wall Street Journal reported that the United States Marshal Service regularly deploys airborne cell site simulators referred to as DIRT boxes. I've never heard of this either. DRT, DIRT box, from five metropolitan area airports across the United States. Like the more common Stingray devices, these DIRT boxes mimic standard cell towers, forcing affected cell phones to reveal their approximate location and registration information. Yeah, that's all it is really. Well, let me tell you that when Obama comes to town and he stays usually at the Intercontinental or he puts an office up there, which is nearby where Buzzkill Jr. works. And the last time he was in town... You have told us this, you realize, right? Yeah, I'm gonna tell it again. Good. Last time he was in town, all of a sudden, all the iPhones that were in the office were essentially drained.

1:54:12 from their battery. Their battery life just went to hell because the phones were... he believes, they don't know, he believes they lock onto the phone and then they suck it dry, make it produce all its data and they send it over. That's what he thinks is going on. And of course I told him, and I always tell people this, when you feel that your iPhone is being tapped like that, which is apparently what's going on, just take the battery out and use that old keycard from him. I don't have a phone. This is the beauty of it. Me no phone have you know you missed the battery gag I got no I laughed at the battery gag with the iPhone I got the battery gag it's just you know, haha. I Got the gag John seriously. Okay, you can also wrap the phone in aluminum foil folks. I have the flu. Yeah, okay

1:54:57 A Dirtbox or DRT box, DRT is I guess one of the keys, is digital receiver technology. That's the name of the company. Is a phone device mimicking a cell phone tower designed to create a signal strong enough within a short range as to force dominant or dormant mobile phones to automatically switch over to it. It's used by the US Marshals Service, mounted on aircraft all over the US to detect and locate cell phones and thus collect information and can be used to jam The name stems from the company that originally developed a digital receiver technology Inc abbreviated DRT owned by Boeing. Oh, yeah. Huh? Well since we're talking about this stuff, we might as well view... The only good phone's a landline and the phone should be made out of Bakelite. Hey now, tech news everybody!

1:55:51 What was I gonna say about the tech news? Oh, yes. Have you followed any of the CES coverage? What do you think? Well, it's just the same show as usual. It's a bunch of crap nobody needs. I think it's worse. I think it's degraded into wearable things that are completely useless. Totally. Smart home things that are completely useless. Yes. And the people who are useless that go to CES to look at these useless things. Pretty much. The self-watering flowerpot. I mean, I'm hearing the same pitch now. This is year 30. I'm hearing about your smart home and how it's going to know when you come in and turn on the lights. It makes me want to throw up.

1:56:36 It's been going on forever. When I was, I think I was still in high school or college when they had the first X3 or this X10 and the Radio Shack sold this stuff. Yeah. That was the only time there was a standard actually. Yeah. And it was around, I think I bought a couple of devices. I put one in my mom's house, I remember, and then she couldn't deal with it and she tried to take it out. It's too complicated. Right. You had those cheap jack like remote controls with it with the bar and you clicked on one side for on and would also be a dimmer and Ultimately they all buzzed they're all right y'all buzz cause horrible interference everywhere

1:57:15 This has been going on forever. I don't know what the appeal of this, oh, here's a thermostat that programs itself. I don't want my thermostat programming anything. I literally heard someone say, it was some woman and she was good, you know, these product pitch people. And I think she said, what was it? So, you know, really, when you get up in the morning, you just choose the tracker that you want for that day. Wow, if you just remove yourself for a minute and put yourself into like a futuristic sci-fi movie where people have actually been trained to Put on the tracker that's appropriate for that day Nuts. Yeah Smart light bulbs. Yeah, the Internet of Things has become a big deal to show and the Internet of Things is a joke. I

1:58:02 I mean, there's some, I can see something, some, you know, in some situation, but they're making it sound as if they, they have somebody, there's a woman on one of these podcasts, video podcasts going on about, no, it was audio. Whatever the case was, she's at the show with these other people, because every newspaper and magazine has got five or six people there looking for stuff. And she's going on and on about, oh, and then there's, there's Bluetooth. a Bluetooth light bulb and it's only $30 for this light bulb and you can turn it on and off with your phone. Oh my goodness. And I'm thinking, why do I need to turn off this? This $30 overpriced light bulb. It didn't have a lousy lumens to it. It didn't have enough oomph to do anything. $30 for a crappy light bulb that barely lights and it's Bluetooth enabled. And she was giddy about this thing. I've just seen absolutely nothing of any appeal other than, oh here's what I saw.

1:59:06 The keynote was the CEO of Samsung and he highlighted our Grand Duke's outfit there, the ultra flicks. If you want 4k content, that's what our guy does. Grand Duke David Foley. And they got an award. He's the 4k guy. And he got an award. He's at the show. Yeah, he sure is. But when I see these tech shows like oh, there's no 4k content. Well. Maybe you should like Google once or twice Yeah, there's plenty of 4k. Yeah, there's a lot of well. Yeah, it's coming online I think I think the the the marketing is the problem as usual Because 4k is now you know some companies are marketing it as ultra HD Okay, they should have stuck with 4k. It's not that was great. Yeah. Yeah, it is too I

2:00:03 Because then when it goes to 8k you can figure it out. Yeah, but you do ultra ultra HD UHHUHD some other bullcrap Yeah, they got a bunch of 4k sets all over the place a lot of curved screens, which I don't understand the appeal of that Well, it's to give you a good viewing angle no matter where you sit is the idea. How does that even work if you think about it? I don't know but my... It makes no logical sense. The girl... Because the thing is curved away from you. If you're over far enough you can't see the right side. The girl... If you're over far to the right. The girl... Because it's curved. The girl at the nail salon who does my pedicure. She has one. She has a curved TV. Excuse me? Yeah, you heard me. Take the bat out of that. You've had a pedicure? Oh yeah.

2:00:53 Yeah, Mickey takes me, sure. I like it. I bet you do. Dude, have you ever been to a chick salon for pedicure? No. Let me tell you about this experience. The one of those places where the fish eat your toes, yeah. No, no, let me tell you about this experience. So you go and it's called, I don't know what it's called. I can't remember. Okay. So you go into the salon and there's big Barco lounger type chairs, big comfortable, just, you know, and they recline. And you drink champagne and there's movies playing on, you know, as you tilt back, you can watch a movie. So far there's nothing you've said that I can't do at home. Well, but then these cute girls come up and then they put your feet in the water.

2:01:43 And then Korean? No, cute girls I said. Korean girls can be cute? Not the nail salons, not the nail salon Korean girls. No, cute girls. And then they massage your feet, man. Massage them and you know, they're like stroking them. And then they clip your nails a bit and then they massage some more and stroke some more. I'm telling you. All right, you come to Austin, I'll take you to the salon. Yeah, we can do it together. That would be great. That's not weird. It's not. There's nothing wrong with it. All right, go back to your little story about the dirt bags. Well, no, I don't think I have much more on the dirt bags other than we need to get an answer by... Let me... That I will tell you. We need to get an answer by what about what? Oh, well, how the FBI...

2:02:35 Justifies. Oh yeah, we need to get an answer. Well, let's get back to where we were at CES. That's what it was. Yeah, that's where I was and then you asked me another question. Yeah, okay, I'm sorry. So CES, I saw nothing. So Callie Lewis with her Geek Beat sales job. And that shows become sad they had well at least they're streaming these these yeah But they just they just take money from people to promote the products. Yeah, well it works Come on Okay, yeah, okay? Here's thanks for the money and give us some free product, and what do you what is your product do oh it's fantastic

2:03:11 That product is the, oh, I want one so bad. It's amazing. It's just amazing what it can do. How do you guys do it? It's just amazing. It's so amazing. It's really, it's outstanding. Amazing. Um, no, I, I, I watched, I was sick of course. I'm sitting down, just watching nothing, nothing at all of any interest. It seems like we are in stuck in such a rut with, uh, with technology. I predict, I predict right now here in today, That there is the whole technology news business is going to start falling apart. Going to start? Well, yeah. It's only been increasing and getting more space and more people are doing it. I think it's... More people are doing it is causing it to fall apart. That's part of it. But there's also nothing new. Nothing. There's nothing new to talk about.

2:04:04 Hey, let me go to my flagship PC magazine and see, because they got a bunch of people there. I could have gone, I guess. They had a party. You can go get some flu. Yeah, that's what's going to happen to everybody. They're all going to get the flu. It's pretty funny. So here we go. Best of CES 2015. This is what they found to be the best. Okay. Best phone, the LG G Flex 2. It's a phone that's bent. I don't want to bend in my phone any more than I want to bend in my penis. Okay, what else we got here anything? I don't want to bend phone either. Okay. What do we got next we got Oh? best phone accents accessory oh the Lenovo vibe extension selfie flash oh by the way this God Please say it's not true

2:04:59 Selfie extension the selfie vibe extension flash flash extension so you could do some really fancy footwork now I was gonna get you we don't buy each other gifts No, but I was gonna get you a gift and it was going to be one of those sticks. Oh, yeah the selfie stick this selfie stick People actually walk around with these things. Yeah, and they got their phone on the end of it. I see them all the time. I think it's even funnier when they have to answer the phone and it's hooked to the stick and then they're talking and walking knocking people over with the stick. Hey, what are you talking about? Boom! There goes somebody hits the deck. They have the new, you have the Belphie stick now too. What's a Belphie? So it's, it has another joint in it so you can take pictures of your butt.

2:05:40 No, yes, yes, the girls don't want to sit there, but too big no It's for speaking if you're preoccupied with your butt being too big it's too big a filthy stick Okay, best smart watch was the Lenovo vibe band VB 10 does anyone wants to get a stupid watch which I don't see any reason for The best fitness gadget is the Garmin vivo active, huh? The best health gadget, this is it. This crap, who needs these things? TempTrack, so you hypochondriacs out there can know your temperature 24-7. The best digital home gadget, this is a good one.

2:06:21 Who, this is PC Magazine who made this list? Yeah, yeah. They're, believe me, it's not any different than anybody else's. Nah, I got it. Best digital home, this is a home gadget. They call this a gadget. This is, now this I would condemn the writer for calling this a gadget. Because it's not a gadget. It's an appliance. It's a LG twin washing machine. A washing machine is not a gadget. But okay. Best kitchen gadget, everything has to be a gadget I guess. It's not a gadget, it's an appliance. A robot designed to pump out fresh homemade roti.

2:06:57 The Roti-matic holds up to 20 rotis. I don't even know what a roti is. Isn't that a Suriname dish of... but it's a rusty. Sorry, I don't know what a roti is. It looks like it's a little pancake. Oh yeah, there's a roti. It's like a potato pancake. I was right. Yeah, okay. Hold on a second. I got it coming through, John. The Belphie Stick. Hold on. I have audio. From ABC, no less. From the year of the selfie. Finally tonight, the global phenomenon. ABC's David Wright tells us why 2014 is the year of the selfie. Selfies were already a thing by the time Ellen set out to break the internet. This star-studded image from Oscar night 2014 set a new standard. Popes and presidents, a Beatle and a billionaire, the Queen herself, even some award-winning

2:07:54 Sad state the world is, people. Pathetic. It's pathetic. Pathetic. A masturbatory movement. Come on, show me the Belphie. Is this gonna take forever? Ugh, I don't want your fun facts. Lies! Oh! Come on with the stick already. Oh, fuckers. Ugh, screw it. They-they-they-they-they-they gypped me. Yeah!

2:08:37 You got Jim. They have a whole story about the Belphi stick and then they have the video which is not about the Belphi stick. Oh, it's on.com. Here you go. On.com. Is that the Belphi stick? They have the Belphi stick, yes. On.com. It's a name it calls my butt too big. Or does my butt look big in this? That's the other one. Just look at this. Look at this pathetic sadness of this. Look at this. Look at this. On.com. Look at this. This is so pathetic. I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking. I'm trying to get there. This is like a big selfie. Ooh, me through photos. That's never been done before. Wow. Ooh, me through photos.

2:09:20 This is really wrong. I don't get anything here except me through photos on dot to trademark. I don't see no belfie. Okay, never mind. I'm already done with it. But there is a belfie stick and that is so you can do a photo, a selfie, featuring your rear end. Why don't you just have a friend take a picture of your ass? Then it would be a frelfie. It's a selfie. That's the whole idea. Yeah, you're so lonely You can't even ask a stranger. Hey, can you take a picture my ass? My phone

2:10:05 I have a short clip, the beginning of a long clip, which I'm not going to play. I'm just going to play the little clip of the boiling sludge for Bill Gates. So we can talk about that a minute for a second. So the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation funded a new kind of treatment plant in Sedro Woolley, Washington, about 70 miles north of Seattle. Here's some of the video that is getting attention on YouTube showing how it works. Over two and a half billion people have no access to safe sanitation. We asked We asked brilliant engineers to help us solve this problem. And one of those engineers actually has proposed a solution where the waste is valuable. The OmniProcessor turns sewer sludge, which is kind of nasty, into clean drinking water, electricity, and ash that is pathogen-free. This is where the sludge enters the machine. It goes up this conveyor belt, is fed into these large tubes we call the dryer. That's where we boil the sludge.

2:11:02 So they boil the sludge and then out comes water and there's Bill to drink it. Right. And so it's all Bill drinks crap somehow. Yeah, the Omni Processor. He looks like crap himself. He looks terrible in this video. I want people to go look at him. I see the video. He's got to cut back on the poop drinking as far as I'm concerned. It has to be poop drinking. That's what it is. He says, after having studied the engineering behind it, I would happily drink it every day. It's that safe. I wonder what it is for the chemicals and crap that are in the... It's the same guy who said we never needed, what, more than 640k ram? Although, you know, he denies that he says that. I have a bit that I do in my speeches that involves that quote, which I won't do. I'm not going to throw it away.

2:11:52 So what is his point here? Is he going to be selling this huge, it looks like a huge contraption. It's a big contraption. Yeah, it's a big thing. And I'm sure it doesn't work in the field. I mean, yeah, you can, of course you can boil down sludge into something drinkable as long as you got the tech, the technology is all there. Hmm. What is he trying to do to promote? I don't know what he's up to. I think it's just this random crap that he's up to. He just has nothing better to do, maybe? Melissa's taking care of all the other business. Belinda. What's her name? Melissa Belinda? Belinda. Belinda. Let's go with that. Melinda. Let's go with Belinda. Belinda.

2:12:31 The bill and Belinda Gates foundation the Mel and Belinda Gates foundation He's also reinventing the toilet. Maybe trying to combine those two. It must have something going on He's got this is a psychological thing. This is a critters a cry for help I Agree, you've said this before and I agree with it. This man is is is really crying out for help Yeah, but he just wants to sit in a room with a couple other geeks and like look at code and stuff And he's got Belinda out there making him do all this to hate. Hey Bill. I Bill, go drink some poop. Do I have to, Belinda? Yes, it's important. Drink poop or else. I'm telling you. Drink it from the doggy dish. All right. I'm going to show my support by donating to No Agenda. Imagine all the people who could do that. Oh yeah, that'd be fab.

2:13:25 I am tripping, I'm almost falling down. You're falling asleep you said? No, I'm like almost falling, yeah almost. You're not, I can't hear you. I'm not feeling well. Oh yeah, we're almost done. Another half hour where you can go to bed. I gotta go pick up my daughter at the airport or worse Oh brother, you're gonna get into an accident. I hope not. It's some find some some Texas joy juice or something before you take off the Jesus juice. Yes Sir, Patrick J. Deary in Sarnia, Ohio one two, three, four five no note. Oh

2:14:03 I want to thank him. John Donovan, Sir John Donovan in San Jose 10305. Apparently it only counts as a drunk donation if you hit the donate button, otherwise he's just drunk. That's true. He's got something in the email we have to read to ourselves. Herb Lamb, same as a vineyard that's very famous in the Napa Valley from Sugar Hill, Georgia. 99.99. He says he's been sorry for not donating for a few shows. He's been out of town and now listening to the Christmas show. Everyone's behind. That's why we get the number of opens is down. We also get people saying there's a lot of wasted time just in general.

2:14:48 I'm gonna say, hey, you should look at this. Like, yeah, we talked about that two shows ago. They're not kept. They haven't kept up. Yeah, they're behind Heather Simpkin and Henley on Thames, Oxfordshire, 6789. Heather in England. It is a great name. Adrian Vernooyj in Hasselt, Netherlands. Vernooyj. Vernooyj. In Hasselt. Hasselt. Hey, by the way, that euro is almost on parity now. We've been waiting for that. No, it's the buck 19, buck 18. It's getting closer. Well, okay, we're going to stop the show.

2:15:24 We're stopping the show because this is important. I think that people know what the exchange rate is. Yeah, I think this is great. I thought it was lower than 19. I thought it was. I'll tell you exactly what it is up to the minute. I have a site that I go to that has all this information, including the price of oil. OK, it is right now sitting at a buck 1783. Wow. Nice. Hello, Greece. Pounded a buck 50. Nice. Getting there. Fruit oil, 47 bucks. Looking good. This is good. It's good to be an American, isn't it, John? Yeah, fantastic. Yeah, screw those EU guys. Stephen McDonald in Cortland, Ohio, 65.66. That came in as one of those time payment checks from the bank. Sir DH Slammer, 56.11. I think he sent a note, hold on.

2:16:23 There was a PayPal mobile, you might have sent a note. Yeah, I have a note. I think I have a note from him. It was some... he had something important, I think. He donates all the time, so let me see. What was the 50s? 5611. Yeah, and I sent it to Eric. You must have it if you sent it to Eric. I'm sorry. Again, it's the flu. Yeah, he just not put in he hadn't put in sir dh slammer. So that's well eric apparently he did that up. So you got that. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry philip meyer is 55 double nickels on the diamond palo alto california kevin dill's charlotte north carolina double nickels on the diamond the following people The last of the group is uh all 50 dollars. I'm gonna name them as they as they go and angela castaneda Oh, that's uh castaneda from uh from vegas anderson nevada. Yes

2:17:17 Robert Owens in Oakville, Virginia. Anastasia Trekels in Vial Paraiso, Indiana. Doesn't sound right, but okay. 50. What does she say here? I've been on the subscription. Oh, wait a minute. She's overdue. Overdue for a nighting. She's being dame dear John and Adam I've been on the subscription plan for a long time and I realize I'm overdue for a nighting as a longtime listener This is pretty this is a pretty cool honor since I'm a college professor. Hello I thought it would be appropriate to be named as Stacy Dame of the Common Core As I'm always trying to figure out how to avoid pushing that schlock on the future teachers I work with. Thanks for the work you do and I will continue to propagate the formula. Dame Stacey Valparaiso Indiana. Cool. We'll be daming you momentarily. Yeah, that's nice. I'm glad that she's got a clue about the common core schlock. Matthew

2:18:17 Helle in Gatineau, Quebec. Mathieu. Helle. Mathieu. Helle. 50. Jan van der Laan in Assen. He's always there, man. He's always there. He's gotta be a knight, isn't he? I think. Let's ask him. Steve Winslow in Bristol, UK. Christopher Walker in Parts Unknown, Sir Brian Watson in Raleigh, North Carolina, and Sir Alan Bean, our buddy over here. I can wave to him from my house actually in Oakland, California. Those are all $50. We are coming up short on these shows and I want to remind people that

2:18:53 and a lot of you aren't listening to the show because they're back on the Christmas show and they don't open the newsletter and I'd like to get this year moving a little better but this coughing and huffing and puffing for the first and then now everyone's gonna end up with the flu. You know, we got good news stuff happening, but nobody's... It is true. It's just an irony of the whole thing. These days... No, it's true. These days everything goes to crap and then no one's around. And then, yeah, the flu thing is bad because the people... I've been trying to work with Andrea. He's an Italian developer working on some stuff that you and I are working on, except I'm doing all the work, you know, that one.

2:19:36 And first his kids were sick and those kids made him sick, and then now I'm sick you know before you know it's six weeks It's a can't get anything done these flus. It's hard to get stuff done if everyone's sick yeah Well anyway, I think that we should obviously thank everyone for their courage and for supporting the program. There's always people who come in under the $50 level. Those are anonymous donations and a lot of people on our programs. We've got, of course, our 3333s, our 1212s, 1111s. I still see those coming in. A lot of $5. It's very appreciated. A lot of $4 still. And there's always that one guy with $2.

2:20:21 But I think he's got a $2 guy. Yeah, but is that for every show or is that for every month or every week? I don't know. I don't know that we have one guy. I still have his check here I got to cash it who sends in a check for a penny all right Which is is like more weather than it's where I mean I'll cash and put it in but it's like I don't know what he's thinks he's pulling one over on the bank or a penny Major do it Dvorak Thank you all very much. It's highly appreciated, but yes, we do have a show coming up on Sunday, and if I'm alive then, you never know. You sound good. This is the thing that you know I'm able to do. Yeah. But I do not think I've felt this bad ever doing this show. You know, you were pretty bad one time, a couple years ago, you got something and you were really a wreck.

2:21:13 Well, that sounded a little more like it. I mean this you sound fine. I've grown since then John. I've grown I've grown I can now do even more. Dvorak.org slash N A And we say happy birthday to one person and that of course comes from Jessica Flood to her husband Justin Flood turning 33 on January 9th with that lovely note and lovely donation. And of course we also say happy birthday to you Justin from all your friends here at the best podcast in the universe.

2:21:50 I remembered I might as well do a little jobs karma for everybody. And by the way, I would like to see some people step up for the upcoming Valentine's Day to top that note. Oh yes, absolutely. Women, you have been forewarned. A little jobs karma as requested by everybody. Jobs, jobs, jobs and jobs. Let's vote for jobs. You've got karma. All righty. We have Well, first we have some Paul Simon, baronet of Siswell of the Upper Horseshoe, now becoming Baron von Sismark of Well Upper Canada. Thank you very much for your contributions. And then we have... Yes, thank you, John. I'll get mine here. Frances Shee, come on up along with Anastasia Treckles, both of you.

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2:23:42 I'm just going to keep on you about this. 12.1 million viewers for Scorpion, the show you say is a failure. It is. Yeah. Okay. It's a dog. You'll see. It's just a matter of time. Once the novelty runs out. It's the word. I think you mentioned this, I don't know if it was in a previous newsletter, but we always look at this every year when the UNODC report comes out. That is the United Nations Office of Drugs and Crime. And again, poppy up, this is the Afghan, the Afghanistan. Congratulations. Yes. Well, here's something, there's an anomaly here that

2:24:32 that I have not seen, and maybe they're reporting it differently. So this is the Afghanistan Opium Survey 2014, which provides a quote, detailed picture of the outcome of the current year's opium season, together with data from the previous years. And there's been an increase, never has been this high, the output. But here's what's interesting. Do you know why the poppy output has increased so dramatic? We increase production on demand. Ah, but it's actually the hectarage, because they give us hectares here. The hectarage.

2:25:10 Yeah? Of the poppies, which means the fields have expanded. Yeah, of course. Well, I didn't think of it that way, but we have bases all around these poppy fields. Oh, of course. Somebody's got to protect these things. Right, but then are we just saying, oh yeah, you could expand a little bit? Are we just allowing that? What are you kidding me? You're just being facetious. This is what you always do to me. You always do. I do not ever. I am sincere to the core. I never pull that kind of trickery. So the total hectarage Hectarage. Did you have to say it that way? Hectarage? That's the way I want to say it. It was estimated to be 224,000 hectares. I think it's hectares. Hectarage. Hectares. In what is a hectare in acres? Is that... It's about two acres, something like that. So there's 224,000 hectares in 2014. A 7% increase over 2013.

2:26:13 Look at that. It's doing very well the opium production of Ghanai San amounts for 80% of the global opium production five and a half tons Wow, it's just never see a lot of good documentaries about that 2.47 acres per hectare nice. So yeah, those are two and a half. Yeah, that's that's also our business Yeah, I know and we're you know, we're doing well You don't want to get a glut on the market though. The price of heroin is really cheap now. It's like one-third, no I'm sorry, it's like one-fifth the price, one-tenth the price of meth. Really? Yeah, something outrageous. I was reading some stats on this. What? That's nuts. It's too cheap. Nuts, nuts, nuts. There's no money in there. You gotta jack the price up. Let me see. I have a few more things. Oh yeah.

2:27:06 Interesting, little update on Ebola. This is Senator Coons and with what I believe is an accurate report. But this is not represented this way in your traditional media. They and the doctors and nurses of the CDC and the Uniform Public Health Service have really turned the corner on the Ebola epidemic in Liberia. But I'm calling for a change in strategy by the Pentagon. We can't declare mission accomplished and withdraw too early here. We can bring home a thousand or more of these troops now. They're currently bored. because they've accomplished a lot of their mission of building infrastructure, building new Ebola treatment units all over the country, deploying new military testing labs all over the country, and setting up a vital infrastructure. The raging epidemic that threatened the whole country in September is now down to a few embers scattered across this country. But we need a new strategy to adapt to conditions on the ground.

2:28:02 Our troops should remain some of them for the rest of the year to help make sure that Liberians can transition our emergency Ebola treatment units into community level health clinics and transition our high-tech military mobile testing labs into Liberian run local labs so that going forward this epidemic really is brought to an end in Liberia. Is Africa so pathetic that they can't even build a a building without American soldiers?" Is that what they're saying? That's what the subtext is. Well, you know the answer to that. And Africa is so pathetic. They're idiots. They can't even build a stupid building. That's why we have to be there and for a long time. And we've got a lot of people there. We got to keep it up. But this is completely the opposite of the messaging if we're receiving it. Of course, not right now because, you know, Paris.

2:28:56 is, oh no, it's not... I heard on NPR yesterday, now we're now up to 9,000 people dead. They just keep, they're just making the numbers up. Whatever happened to by now, by the way, by January 1st, we're supposed to have 10,000 cases a week. Yeah, but why isn't anyone jumping up and down claiming victory? This guy is. Coon says, hey, you know, there's only a few embers left. Yeah. I think this is good news. Is he lying to me? I doubt it. Just wanted to play that for you. This is an interesting little tidbit clip. Play drones everywhere. It is rapidly becoming, are they safe and how should they be regulated? Science correspondent Miles O'Brien has our report. The sky may be big and blue.

2:30:00 But it is getting more crowded every day as makers of small unmanned aerial vehicles or drones test their limits. The thing's very fast. It can fly about 70 miles an hour. The man at the controls is Michael Shaboone. He works for a company that is growing faster than he can flick a joystick. China-based DJI Innovations, the market leader in the personal drone industry. We've gone from 15 employees to 3,000 employees. Well, so they had this, it was a long piece, so I only cut out to give you the beginning. So these drones, I'm getting a drone, I'm gonna buy one of these things. Chris Anderson, who used to be the editor of Wired, started this company up and he's in this piece, and he's got a place, a company in Berkeley that he's got these drones that have cameras on them and then you pre-program the drone and you send it on its way and you don't drive it. It doesn't go anywhere. Yeah, it goes off, takes the pictures, comes back. Yeah.

2:31:03 I think this is a good idea. I'm gonna get one of these. I want to learn how to fly a good drone. So I was at the toy shop just before Christmas and they had a bunch of drones, piles of them in this shop. It's one of the high-end toy stores. And I asked the guy and he pointed out some cheap $99 drone that was a learner's drone. It's about the size of a of a teacup, very small. It's got four little props on it. And he says, yeah, and he takes the thing and he crushes it and then he pops back and he crushes it. So you can't wreck it. It's indestructible. Yeah. So that's the one you learn with and you get bigger and bigger until you get the bigger drones once you learn how to fly these things correctly because you're going to smash it up. And I think this is, and you have been saying we should have a drone company.

2:31:51 Yeah, but it happened that idea we dropped the ball on it. We dropped the drone. Yeah, we did. The good news is this the way the FAA is leaning is they will require commercial drone companies to have licensed pilots flying the drones. That's good news for me. Yeah, because I'm a licensed pilot. But according to this report, the amateur drone guys can, there's no license requirement. You can go to off and do your own thing. I know there will be severe restrictions. Well, they're not yet. They had the FAA guy on.

2:32:30 I'm gonna go have a meeting with Chris. I'm against it. I'm against this. I'm against drones in any form or fashion. You're shoveling crap against the tide. I know that. I know that. It's okay, but I have a shotgun. I think there's some other ancillary... yeah, screw the shotgun. Ancillary products that are just begging to be built. The first idea I came up with... These could be billion-dollar ideas, people. One is the drone protection system.

2:33:07 Because these little bitty ones that got cameras the deep and then they were showing this small small they can get and they could little guy Can just come right up to your window I have windows here and can be just sitting there taking movies of me or whatever in a bed in the bedroom the bathroom You know, it's just a horrible kind of peeping Tom stuff. Mm-hmm So what you want is you want a little system that is over the edge of the roof and And it's a netting system. You push a button. And it drops the net on the drone. Yeah, it drops the net on the drone and brings it down to the ground. And now that drone, I believe you can make a case that this drone now belongs to you. Oh yeah, you totally own it.

2:33:46 Yeah, so I own the drone and there has to be, so you get the net that catches the drone and then you have some, you look up some software or something that allows you to reconfigure the drone so it's now your drone. Own the drone! So I think there's potential here for this sort of thing. Okay, I like that. Drone catching. Because a shotgun is no good. You blow up the drone, so what did you accomplish? You made a noise, you got the neighbors pissed off, could it hurt somebody? Well, you could also have those... those guns that fire a net. Ah yeah, that would be fine. That'd be kind of cool. Yeah, net gun. But I like the slogan for the packaging, Own the Drone. Own the Drone. This is the Curry-Dvorak drone protection system and we have big DPS. And then, own the drone. Yeah.

2:34:42 I like it. That's pretty good. It's a cheaper way to get the drone if you can make the protection system, you know, inexpensive. And then we should have these honeypot type things where, you know, it looks like there's a naked chick in the backyard. And just a painting. Right. It's just a cutout. Yeah. And then the drone comes close and... Own the drone. Like Rock'em Sock'em robots. I mean, it's like, you knocked my block off! You own my drone! I'm already envisioning the television commercials John pretty good. Yeah, I think I can see him too Okay, stick on aviation is the last one. I have energy for I'm just I'm toast I you know still following the AirAsia by the way this is the owner of AirAsia this Tony guy What's his name Tony? I think his name is Tony Tony and so there was this here this whole bunch of

2:35:42 The interesting stock transactions the day before the crash happened. Like what? Yeah, I know. It's just seeing where if I have it. I know I have it here. There's another company which is an insurance company, which is insurance company for the airline. And I guess he owned a lot of it and he sold all of it. I think he owned half the company. He sold all of that. Either 24 or 36 hours before this crash. It could just be pure coincidence, obviously. I don't think so. Well, it could be. I don't know. That's a pretty long shot coincidence. Yeah. Well, let me see. I have it here. What's the guy's name again? Tony. Yeah. Tony Fernandez. Is that his name? I don't know. I have no idea what his name is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it is. This is an interesting guy, actually.

2:36:39 Hmm. Yeah, he started with a shot on a shoestring budget. Yeah, he actually check this out he He's actually tan Sri Anthony Francis. He has I think he has a Yeah order the British Empire Commander of the order the British Empire for services to promote commercial educational links between Malaysia and the United Kingdom Member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants, whatever that he I see

2:37:18 So the way he acquired this airline was also in here. December 26th, the Malaysian Insider reported that Fernandez, the founder of Toon Group, which owns AirAsia, sold a total of 944,800 shares in Toon Insurance Holdings with 850,000 shares being dumped on December 22nd and the other 94,800 being sold the day after. According to its official website, Toon Insurance Holdings is an insurance product manager for AirAsia in which insurance products are sold to AirAsia along with customers as a part of their online booking process. So it's not just for the airline but also for it's you know it's your flight insurance you can get when you when you buy an airline ticket. So that it is interesting that he did that to such a degree right before this crash.

2:38:11 Yes, I would be saying that would be called suspicious transactions. And I have not heard this anywhere else. Well, you heard it on the No Agenda Show. Yeah. Then I have this little clip because of course people are still trying to figure it out and I love the idiocy. 23-year-old Pendra Gunawan Seawall took what may have been the last photograph of flight 8501 before it took off. So obsessed with this. Less than an hour later, the plane disappeared. Even as the search continues, Indonesian authorities have concluded that weather caused the crash. Weather caused the crash? Okay. A satellite image showed cloud temperatures as cold as 121 degrees below zero.

2:38:51 Three days after the crash, the Indonesian aviation authorities imposed mandatory up-to-date weather briefings for pilots. But in an open letter, one pilot dismissed the directive. Pilots of airlines around the world do self-briefings, he wrote. They get printed weather information from systems used by their airlines. Today was the best weather the searchers have had since the plane went down I just play this stuff just to give people a little bit of accuracy in reporting because this report is complete crap from beginning to end Yes, all pilots get their own weather report. Then the data is standardized and this is very normal. You go into your flight briefing room, you get your, it's not like you're getting this from the, although it does happen, but it's not like you're just getting it from your company. In fact, most pilots I know, most airmen would say, I don't even trust what my company gives me. I want to see it coming through from the Met itself. I want to make sure I have the data.

2:39:50 that they want to be responsible themselves. That's one. Then to say, what happens when robots start flying the plane? Yeah, it's fucked. Stupidest thing ever. Because of stuff like this, because of changing weather, you can't just program that into an algorithm. And this weather report does not talk about the cloud temperature. And I'd have to see what they're talking about with this cloud temperature that was reported somewhere at minus 122 degrees. So they're inferring here or insinuating that somehow they got into a cloud that was very chilly. This is bullshit. Yeah, I hate it when they do this.

2:40:37 Yeah, and you noticed yeah, and so anyway, so I got a David Foley letter. I gotta read As our Grand Duke David Foley well, you know when when it was probably in Vegas well hold on a second Well, if you're gonna do a Foley yeah, play the thing Oh Waiting in the security line at SFO heading to CES. The lady, barking out slave instructions, spoke the truth and no one picked up on it. After telling everyone to put on our shoes and belts should be done away from the conveyor belts so as not to slow down the line, she then made this statement, if you do everything I say,

2:41:38 Then there will be no delay and and we may have to work and we may have to work No, no delay. No delay. We may have to Word on here like I knew what it was and I forgot to write it in Anyway, he said our goal is not to do any work is what the woman's ah, okay So move along we don't want to do a bunch of work here. Oh He couldn't help but say, he says, ask what isn't your goal to provide screening for safe travel? Let me guess what happened. He earned himself an extra pat down and bag search. We call that a massage. Yeah, I bet he did.

2:42:20 Oh man. Foley, Foley, you gotta chill out. Come on man, chill on that stuff. We don't have to be... And the hot story of course, and mostly in Europe, not so much in the United States, but they're playing this up in OK Magazine, one of your favorites, is Taylor Swift secretly dating Karlie Kloss. Okay, I'm... And then a long story about their fantastic relationship. That was really unnecessary. Really didn't have to do that. I just threw it in it wasn't there Taylor you gotta be you gotta take it I'm no longer on team Taylor. I switched Say is this the reason because you got when you got your last copy of okay magazine No, no, it's because I you to you said she has a flat butt and I looked and you were right and so that kind of ruined the whole Thing oh, sorry I did that now. No you're not Okay

2:43:15 Bless you it sounds like we're both kind of sick All right Well, it was a good show. We got it covered a little dude if you kept people up to date yes without a doubt I There'll be some screwy that happens before Sunday. Oh, hello. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. I can't swallow it No, that's from the yeah, that's the all right Hey everybody I will be better on Sunday I guarantee you that coming to you from FEMA region 6 in the capital of the drone star states. Good morning everybody I'm Adam Curry and from Northern Silicon Valley where we do this show no matter how we feel no matter where we are I'm John C. DeVore. Hell yeah

2:44:04 We'll be back again from with you right here on Sunday on a no agenda I'm Joe Biden and thank you for taking the time to listen This is the ministry of fear a network of terror that lays bare the secrets locked in every man's mind using strange hypnotic torture relentless cunning Tangling their quarry in a web of horror until he reaches the brink of madness. Who speaks? Who said that? Who told you that? And you can always follow me on Twitter. The best podcast in the universe! Adios, mofo. Dvorak.org slash N-A