Poop Particle

00:00 Oh, I got a save face. Accepting cookie warnings that fill the page and broadcasting live from the Whorehouse Studios in the Garden of Amsterdam, Laaden and Gimmo Nation Lowlands in the morning everybody. I'm Adam Curry. And from Northern Silicon Valley where everybody's kung fu fighting and they're fast as lightning, I'm John C. DuBois. It's Crackpot and Buzzkill. Nice! Now, that one on the fly or? It came to me. Nice. Nice when that happens.

00:45 You get a good one like that. Oh yeah, that was a gem. So every website... I can't imagine making it funnier. Yes, go on. Every website... Hey, wait a minute! You're in Holland and you went and you met the Queen! And the King! Yeah, I did. And did you also go see any of the royalty there? See, I don't have my my noisemakers. I left them in the in the room. So I can't I can't do my walker walker sounds not all were virtual. I know you actually had any no The only thing I have is a bill. I just have a bill. You'll be playing that a lot. Yeah there you go Yeah, it's top of the news here. I was I was headline news. Oh, she did you should send some of our post some of the articles How about this Google? Adam Curry

01:37 You'll see it. So... I Bing stuff. You want to... You're right. What am I even thinking? I'm sorry. Bing it, baby. Is that what you want to start with? I mean, not that it's like top of the news in America. Well, I think it's... It gets it out of the way. I think people want to know. All right. Yes, I was invited to the Outblinker's lunch. And an Outblinker means you are a sparkler, a twinkler. Something that that that was you are a shiner. I guess a shiner, you know shining star That what it means the United States out blinker means that you're you're a passed out drunk in the alley It's kind of the same thing in Holland. I think Except then you get to go visit the king and the queen so there are about 25 people and these people who won interesting awards or achieved such things as the fastest man to row across the ocean single-handedly

02:33 What ocean? The Atlantic Ocean. No, actually I think he went around the world. Yeah, he did multiple oceans. Wow. Yeah. That guy must have huge arms. First of all, the guy was seven feet tall. It was just, it was a beast, a beast of a guy. But then there's a top cop who's done something heroic and there was the, it was very multi-culti, so you had like actors, a couple of, like theater actors. Not really that well-known, but you know, it was obviously a very racist choice. You know, the first black female to win a certain theater acting award. And it was almost presented like that. It's like, okay, how about just she was the actor who won the theater award? She was quite funny.

03:21 Who else? Yeah, like the immigrant entrepreneur of the year. And then of course the Marconi Award winner. That's pretty much how it goes. Okay, so far so good. Yeah. So you get to go... Or not. Well, apparently this is a thing where people are hoping that they're on the list. And of course I didn't know anything about it and they didn't really explain that until a couple of emails back and forth with the ladies of the court. The king and queen's court. So we get there, you know, it's very similar to my experience. I'm smacking. I'm smacking. Shut up. Let me get through it. Okay. If you're going to interrupt me on every little thing, save that for the clips. No, no, I'm not going to interrupt you on every little thing. Just every other thing. All right, well, let me just have a sip then. Onward. You always do this. When I'm excited about telling a story, you're always going to be a dick about it. I'm trying to calm you down so you don't start smacking and saying weird things. I'll be first.

04:21 It's very different from the British Royal Palace. If you recall, yes, I'm collecting my experiences. If you recall when I went there, there was a big reception room with all kinds of cool paintings. And this is really one of the palaces that I think they only do, the Dutch one, where they only do receptions. So I don't think the king and queen stay there necessarily. So you go in, you go up the steps. It was kind of cool. They got the guards and they immediately put their swords up to their nose. There's a picture of that coming. Of course, I wasn't allowed to take any pictures inside. It's like, please no pictures, no selfies. They said no selfies. Well, selfies is not the same as a picture. But no pictures. Just don't take any pictures. There's a group photo at the end of the thing. Yeah, I know. So it was from 12 to 2. I get there at 1130. They'll say hi to everybody. They take you up the marble staircase and there's a little welcoming drink.

05:16 And you got all the dudes in their little outfits, what would you call them? The henchmen who are serving drinks. And then you're you know you kind of didn't explain the protocol though. I read the protocol's book. Let's back up a second. I'm imagining. There's a big table No, it's just standing like a reception room. It's just a cocktail. Yes, exactly high top tables I'm sorry I'll try and do a better job, but still it's a one big white marble room with pillars and cocktail tables high tops and we're high ceiling hot very high see this. Oh, it's a palace And, you know, but it's kind of empty. There's really nothing of any merit, no super art that I noticed. It's just, nah, no big portraits, just kind of bland. Kind of like a government function room. And the drinks, you know, no alcohol. It was Coke. Excuse me? No, not at the stand-up cocktail part. So there's a cocktail party with no cocktails. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's exactly right. But they had Cassis. You know Cassis?

06:18 Yeah, cassis. Yeah, we call it cassis here, which I hadn't had in years. So I had one of those. Then, you know, I had looked at the protocol book. I was like, you know, I think that's kind of proper. And the only rules kind of are you don't speak unless you're spoken to. You don't reach out your hand to shake their hand unless they do it. You know, they reach out to yours. If the king or queen stands up, you stand up. You wait until the king or queen says you can sit and then you sit. And that's pretty much it. Well, I wanted to do it right. I wanted to be a good slave. Of course you did. You looked like an idiot if you didn't, but I just imagined all these people standing scared to death stiff. So we're not really told anything, but please stand in a big U formation, all right? In a big U formation. In a moment, the king and queen will come out and they will go around and they'll say hi to everybody. And I was number two.

07:07 Who's number one? Some business guy who I actually knew. I'd met him a long time ago. He'd won some business innovation award. It's kind of like you got an award, you can get to see the king and the queen. It's got to be a funky one. Yeah, okay. So they come in and, you know, first the king and he says, I'm so happy to meet you in person finally. I was a little flabbergasted really. I was like, it was nice to see you in person too, Majesty. Oh yeah, you have to say Majesty, Majestet. And you know, it's like, okay, that's kind of nice. And then the Queen, actually. I think you should have roiled over that one. What do you mean roiled?

07:52 Oh, R-O-I. You should've, I wouldn't, I don't, okay. But what do you say? Something the Americans should not put up with this sort of majesty thing. It's like, oh great leader. I wonder if Kim Jong-un expects that from Dennis Rodman. I don't think so. Maybe he does. I don't know. Well, I think that after this first meeting, next time I see the king, we might be able to hang out a little bit more informally. Hey, Joe. Hey, Wim Lex. The Queen, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. All right, then go around and then the King just said, oh, it's great to have everybody here and I'm glad it's a small company. We're going to make sure we sit with all of you and let's have a nice lunch. And so the doors open. It was lunch? Yes, it was lunch. The doors open and there are four round tables and I had my seating assignment. I was sitting right next to the King.

08:43 And the king was at table one, and then you had the queen was at table three, and the idea was after the main course. Yeah, they roam around, sure. No, no, then they switch, exactly. Yeah, well, don't they have four tables? They also have two empty seats in the other tables. They sit there once in a while. No, they had two of the ladies, you know, the ladies-in-waiting, whatever you call them. Hold on a second. The business ladies. You're telling me that two of the tables never had a visit from the queen or the king? No, each? No. No, they switched. So the other two... They went to every table, okay. But there was no blank seats left for them. No. They had some stooge in their place. Well, not a stooge. A seat person, like in the Oscars. No, no, no. The ladies who were in charge of the social calendar. They're very...

09:34 highly educated, well-spoken, you know, fashionably dressed women who, you know, are very... Just sat there, yeah. No, they keep you busy. They animate you. They keep you totally engaged and they can answer all questions. But they do leave those seats and the king sits there eventually. Yeah. Yeah. So you, but you either got the king or the queen, not both. What was the, uh, well, of course, what was the rotation time? Was it 15 minutes? Was it 10 minutes? One rotation. And it was after the main course. So I really got the king a long time. There's only one. I thought there should be four rotations. Oh, okay. The king at one table, the queen another table, the two ladies are at the other tables. Then the king and the queen go to the tables where the ladies are at. So you either get a king or a queen.

10:24 So in other words, are you with me? There's one rotation that the rotation is Just you get a king or a queen. Yeah, you don't get the king and the queen. Oh exactly. Oh, that's Not if you're a table one next to the king it doesn't yeah. Well, no, it's fine for you. Mm-hmm You never got to sit next to the Queen. Well, I Chatted up the Queen for 20 minutes, but if you let me get through the story, I But she wasn't at the table. I was... it was better than that. Let me get through the story. All right. I'm just... I don't care about you. I'm sympathizing with the guests who got screwed in this deal. Yes, if you're a guest who was... who started off with a lady-in-waiting and then you got the queen, I think you got gypped. Yeah, I agree. Yes. And I believe there was a hierarchy in all this, just looking at the seating arrangement. I was next to the king.

11:19 Yeah, you've made that clear. And so we're all standing and the king is standing and he's waiting for everyone to come in. Everyone's behind their chairs and the king says, please everyone, oh please have a seat, have a seat. I'll sit down in a minute. Nice, oh okay, the king's kind of cool. So we all sit down and there's a menu and I took a picture of the menu. Actually, I took the menu home but I took a picture of it if you're interested in the menu. I think you posted it. I certainly didn't. Oh, well I- didn't you send a copy to me? Ah, yes I did. Maybe. Really for the wine. Did you see the wine they served? Uh, no, I don't remember it. Rulli Premier Cru Raboursay? Olivier Leflève 2014?

12:04 The flavor really that was that the white wine when you know what winner yeah white wine And it was kind of it felt a little champagne II little little Petulant is that the word Petulant has a few bubbles. Yeah, yeah, yeah petulant. That's exactly what I liked it I Well, yeah, because the maker of that wine, Le Flav, is one of the top growers, period. Flavor Flav? Flavor Flav? Flavor Flav. He's the guy, he's the top grower in Burgundy, of whites in particular. Ah, because I looked it up and the bottle is only like 35 euros or something. It's not crazy expensive. No, it's a cheapie. Well, I mean, considering you're at an event with a king, but it is a cheap wine.

12:46 I mean, it's not what he should have served was a Montrachet. What a douche! But no, he served you a chibri. I am going... Believe me, this will get out. What is that again? What did he... what was he supposed to serve? Montrachet. Montrachet? Okay. I'll write him an email. Le Montrachet to be exact. Okay. Le Montrachet. Good. I'll send him a note. Uh, the food was nice. They can afford it, it seems to me. Maybe they're on a budget. Maybe. What was the red wine? I don't remember. No, there was no red wine. Oh, it's just the cheap white. That was that. The cheap white from one of the best winemakers, but... Oh yeah, it was definitely from one of the best winemakers. I will say that that would be kind of a house wine at this place here that I'm living. Yeah. No offense to the king.

13:43 You know what I think it is the absolute it's it Signify it really shows you the Dutch But I'm gonna get something from the best winemaker, and I'm gonna make it really cheap. That is the Dutch That's that's Dutch all the way. I have nothing but respect for the choice Okay. Well, if it was tasty, it was tasty. That's all that really counts at the end of the whole process. Yeah, I liked it. I liked it very much. And you know, they kept serving it. You know, your glass was half empty. Oh, that's a plus. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The guys, bloop, bloop, bloop, right away. Right away, they kept serving it. They started off, and it was beautiful. I mean, it looked fantastic. I wouldn't say it was great, a great meal. It was kind of basic, but you know, when you have lightly smoked dove with bird... Dove?

14:29 You ate dove? Yeah, dove. Dove? Dove, yes. We don't eat dove in this country. Well, maybe it pairs well with cheap wine Great we had with what is this bird cream? I've no idea what bird cream is Horse radish horseradish shots it actually says shots red beet apple mabre whatever that is and It was just like a cute little, it was beautiful, it was twirly, twisty. What do you expect? Yeah, but it's curly, twisty, it looked nice, it was art, it was art on the plate. And then we had, what is tarbot? What fish is that? What is that in English? I thought it was, well they call it turbo here. Turbo, okay yeah. With a light sauce of beurre noisette.

15:26 Sugar snaps, it literally says sugar snaps on the menu. Walnut butter? No, yeah, maybe. Sugar snaps, yellow squash gnocchi made of potatoes and peas. Peas in the, oh that's an interesting idea. Yeah, they're fried. They were deep fried too. Yeah, it was good. I like that one. What was odd about it is that it so they had the big plate with this with the main course on it and they go to the king and the king you know he grabs the utensils the you know the serving fork and spoon and he puts everything on his plate they weren't serving and then so it went around everyone picked up the same you know serving things and which is really uncomfortable

16:07 Boy, that sounds really lame. Yeah, because you know, and the guy was on my left and you know, I'm not, I don't know, it's a weird stance like, I just don't want to drop this piece of fish everywhere. I just want to transfer it onto the plate properly. It was very strange. I'm not sure why that etiquette is there. Probably some, you know, some socialist concept, you know, that people should be doing more work. Something like that, that'd be my guess. Yeah, probably. Dessert was very interesting. It was a lemon curd marinated with, no, avocado, marinated avocado on lemon curd and guacamole with vanilla ice cream. Hold on a second. Say the whole thing over again. For some reason I short-circuited. Yes, I know. I'm translating on the fly.

17:00 But I'm still better than Google Translate. Marinated avocado with lemon curd, guacamole, and vanilla ice cream. I heard the word avocado. I think you must be mistranslating it. Why? What would you serve off a marinated avocado which sounds like some like herring no marinate no no no marinated in like vinegar oil and vinegar so the way you okay, so it's actually an avocado like in the salad yes with oil and vinegar and then lemon curd Yes on top of that with guacamole what else vanilla ice cream? Oh my god! It was dynamite! I find that so hard to believe. Well, you gotta try it. It was really... Well, it's nothing I'm gonna try, I can assure you. But... It's because I like sweet and sour. You know, I like sweet and sour chicken. Yeah, everybody likes sweet and sour, but this is a combination of... Avocado and ice cream itself is weird. Yeah, yeah. It looked weird on the plate. I'll give you that.

18:05 I bet it did. I think they almost visualized it. It's like, what? What was it? Nice. And the lemon curd. What's the point? I don't know. Decoration maybe. Was there whipped cream? No, I don't recall. I don't think so. It doesn't say so, so I don't think so. Nice detail was people who had ordered vegetarian or I think vegan. Yeah. They had a whole separate menu, separate courses just as beautifully made. It was nice. That was a nice touch. Anyway, uh... Except for the removal of the flavor. Yeah, right. That was part of the deal.

18:45 So the king, you know, he did a little speech for everybody. He says, and what was nice about it is he said, in Holland, we have a tradition and that you and I have spoken about this many times. You never want to grow higher than the other blades of grass because you get your head chopped off. He said, we're changing that and we want to celebrate. They always say that. They say that in Sweden too. We want to celebrate everybody who has done something special. and by punishing them. So he goes around the table now I'm last in line because he went to counterclockwise and yeah I need to start a very well informed and knew who everybody was and was asking questions He I have to say he stayed a little too long with actually the rowing guy that just went on you know people kind of interested in him because he was at sea for out of 60 days or so it's just an incredible story and a certain point the king even said yeah, but the women were gathered around oh yeah, oh yeah, they loved him and

19:45 Then he's a handsome seven foot tall beast. Yeah, he's been at sea for years. All kinds of possibilities here. This guy. Even the king was like, okay, well that was great and then we're moving on. We have some other things to talk about. And he's going around and it comes to me, I said, well, Majesty, I can't say I've done the same that many of these people at the table have done for the country. But at least I taught everybody how to pronounce Madonna properly. This got a laugh. And you got a laugh. Yeah, well, the king was like, yeah, but we know what you've been doing with with podcasting. We know what you've been doing with digital media. And I was like, yeah, then he said, you know, yeah. What was he talking about? Well, anyway, about the success of podcasting and then the the actress

20:33 She, very inappropriately, but for some reason she says, oh, are you a millionaire? And I'm like, what? Yeah. What is she talking about? I don't know. Well, because, you know, it was like all this stuff and the king was talking about how the awesomeness of me. And before I can say anything... And even so, even so, what a thing to ask somebody. Very inappropriate. I'm sure that she regretted it, but... Before I could say anything, the king jumps in and he says, of course he's a millionaire because he was a billionaire and then he got into aviation with that helicopter company. Wow. Oh man. Now he's a pilot.

21:16 He flies. I gave you the needle there. Oh, but it was pilot humor because he flies. It is a pretty standard practice. It's fantastic. Yeah. And he flies for KLM whenever he wants to. And he would actually tell me, I try to fly three times a week. He goes on regular round trips to Denmark or some other within the EU, mostly 737s. And, uh, but yeah, I try to get in three flights a week. And, uh, let me just see. I wrote down my notes.

21:52 Let's see what else. But first of all, the guy was just really nice and funny and not at all stuck up, which I kind of expected a little bit of that. Maybe I thought maybe be kind of dumb. That is a little bit the impression that is built of around him. You know, Prince Pils, you know, the drunk guy who's always hanging out at parties. So I found him to be very knowledgeable. He said something interesting. We were talking about, you know, and this was just a table discussion about, you know, worldly events. And he said, yeah, we're very proud of Holland. We've never had an attack here. And, you know, that's that that really shows you what a great country you are. And I was like, oh, man, shut up, Curry. Shut up, shut up, shut up. Shut up, shut up. I'm just not going to say anything at all.

22:39 So then, but it's great. I like this guy. You know, we were joking about all kinds of stuff. He's very funny. Oh, yeah, at one point, I can't remember how it came up, but I said, you know, up until this lunch, Majesty, The most impressive meeting I ever had was Steve Jobs and he says, oh man, things must be not going too well with Steve Jobs. I said, no, it didn't end up very well. I think he kind of realized when I said that, that he put his foot in it. But yeah, the guy, the guy that was a little payback there for the aviation joke. The guy was nice. I like him. Good King, very informed. You gonna call him up and say, give a chat once a week, you know, give him a call. Well, hold on. Did you get his number? Did you get his cell? It's not over. It's not over. It's not over.

23:21 So then I see the lady out of the corner of my eye, she's coming over, it's time for the switch. I'm like, okay. And I said, hey King, it's time for the switch. She said, yep, we gotta go sit with someone else and be nice over there. And so I get up as the King gets up, because I had read the protocol book. Everyone else stay seated. Ah, you knocked it out of the park with that little move. Oh yeah, and the king says, no no no. You read the protocol book and you knew that you were supposed to stand. And it gets better because the king says, no no no, sit down. I said, I read the protocol book, I'm supposed to stand up. He says, you're the only one, and he comes over, he hugs me. I'm blown away. It's cute. Yeah, it was cool. Now, so then one of the ladies waiting is sitting there and we're chatting with her and I say, can I steal this fork? She said, no, no, no, no, you can't take anything. Say really? You got any towels? No, no, nothing you can take. So I did try. I want to be honest about it. I was allowed to take the menu. Right. And then I steal this fork. Yeah, they were beautiful. It was it was nice, nice flatware.

24:24 Yeah, I know my flatware. That's probably what it is when you're taking it. It was nice flatware. Alright, so then we're... They should have a... Here, you should make... Send something to the suggestion box. I think this is a good idea because I know when you go to the White House there's all kinds of little souvenirs you get to take with you. Yeah, like match... Books of matches. All kinds of things. I think they should have a souvenir fork. Yes. Modeled after the real fork and have a bunch of nonsense kind of engraved on it. Yeah, a little, yeah. And a little presentation box. Yeah, have the date on it. Exactly. Did you get anything like that? No.

25:01 A ring around the head, a medal to hang off your chest. Anything like that? No, I think they send us a framed photo of the group photo. Oh, that stinks. That's like getting a little eighth grade Mrs. Rose. Then we walk out for coffee. And coffee, we're back in the cocktail reception area. And the king and queen are just mingling and the queen comes over and I'm talking with her for 20 minutes Just drinking coffee, and she's very tall and she I'd say well she had five inch heels on I looked very closely what she was wearing because I know I had to report to a number of women in my life the I mean she's a very hmm a charming woman

25:49 Deep brown eyes, lots of wrinkles around the eyes, you know, very little, very little makeup. Maybe just a base, almost nothing. Hair, this was not a big public event. I don't even know if she washed it. It looks stringy. No, I'm being honest. She's a hippie girl. I'm being honest. Yeah, yeah, a little bit like a hippie girl. And by the way, about halfway through this 20 minutes, there was a hair flip, I just want to say. I'm like, oh, hair flip. I'm glad you noted that, that's good. It was right next to me. Did she hit you in the face with her hand or anything in the process? No, no, no. There was a... so she was wearing a grey pencil skirt, well bug me was the jacket. I hate these details. There are women who listen to the show, John, think about the demo.

26:36 The demo just for she was wearing a gray pencil skirt. Yeah, the problem was the jacket was so many pencils Does it make us so ill fitting in the back that this it was like she was holding her shoulder blades back and it was kind of? unacceptable was It's like no one looked at her and said nah that jackets no good Only vintage jewelry very understated, but not really pretty just like look like like old grandma's old stuff I'm sure it was grandma's old stuff. You know the old queen it was yeah, it was great. Oh sure, but you know nothing like mind-boggling just I was like You know what wasn't really spectacular That's just me so then listen decade it and she says

27:24 How's your daughter? She's great. Yeah, yeah. She's doing all kinds of fun things, and yeah, comparing notes as parents about, oh, you know, my daughter's, you know, they're now, you know, 15, I think they know everything. And it says, you know, and your girlfriend or wife, girlfriend, you know, she works at Ronald McDonald House. Yeah, she runs the whole thing. So yeah. And she knew everything, all this stuff, all these details. Yeah, they had a dossier open. Yeah. Um, two of them got together for the thing. So what do you think we should talk about these idiots? Well, I think they must know. Let's see what we got here. I'm hoping to look at this. Well, this curry guy's kind of interesting. Then we all threw the Illuminati triangle and we went downstairs for the groups photo. And this is what I missed. I guess people knew about the group photo.

28:18 Because everyone's like it well I I was chatting with the Queen and then all of a sudden pretty much everyone's gone except me the Queen and the king who's standing behind her he says Maxima it's time for the group photo and then oh shit it's a then we start walking downstairs but of course everyone ran down because if you're first then you get to sit next to the king and the queen Yeah, but you get to hang out with them right, but I didn't know about this so we're walking down Moxie Ma goes down first the king is walking next to me We're still talking about about flying and so of course I'm stuck in the back behind what looks like a corpse some laying out with a corpse no she was in front of me I'm not sure what her

29:00 What her act was? But if you see the photo, it's like where's curry, you know half of my head is obscured Dated lady who looks like she's dead. Oh Damn it. I didn't get the good photo and you know Then we do the photos and then it's I tell you that's two minutes to two Everything's like clockwork and then everyone says says goodbye and then you're out on the street. Yeah, I And well and sounds like a good sounds like a good afternoon. It was a great afternoon I had a lot of fun. I did and I appreciate it it Made me look like a superhero here people can't believe it everybody wants to know what were they like? It's very odd. That's the oddest part. I think I guess

29:56 Yeah. Well, I think did you get his number? I just a question I asked earlier. You told me that you're going to answer that, but you never did. I do not have his number, but my feeling is I could probably reach out to him and at least give him the fork idea. Fork idea would be good. Yeah. But I think they would appreciate that. You know why? I have a feeling if I send them the fork idea, they might just send me a fork. Well, that's good too. Yeah. That works for you. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Perfect. Well, I think you two should hang out. I'd like to. Yeah, you could corrupt him with no agenda stuff. Oh my god. I Had to bite my tongue. I'm like I'm not doing that. I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna do it It's better better to have a 30-minute story on the show than to you know be thrown out of the palace Exactly guards Hey anything else happen yes, I actually I watched I watched all of it

31:02 I'm glad you got, I got a few clips I thought were important. He got a few clips. Clips were no good. He's no good. I mean, all I, most of the time he's wasting saying Senator and Congressman. You know, somebody asked him a question, well, Senator, Senator, Senator, Congressman, Congressman, Congressman. He got so robotic about it that when he started to talk about, to a woman, he said, Congressman, I mean, Congresswoman. I was actually thinking we should address each other whenever we talk like podcaster. Let me tell you about what's happening in the news. You just call each other podcaster. So I used the phrase Zuckey, and I didn't get this on, I really am remiss for not catching this, but during the live online feed, Savannah Guthrie called him that. You know, I saw this catch on in other places. I thought you had gotten it from somewhere else. I thought, no, that's not like you.

31:51 I think we're got I got it when I heard Savannah Guthrie say it and I didn't get it on and I was really irked that I hadn't have a have a recorder running because it was live stream and it didn't know where backing it up or anything to when that happens and so She says Zuckey. I'm thinking what? What kind of news person are you when you do that? Isn't there some kind of ethics rule against doing that as a journo? Well, we've been catching a lot of these guys saying weird stuff. Insta and things like that. So I think journalism is out of control. Well, it's also part of the abbrevs. I think it is part of the abbrevs. But Zucky. I mean, Zuck is what most people would factor.

32:39 Yeah, that's the, the, the abbrev. In fact, I do want to mention, start off with this. I thought this was, I only found this in Vogue Magazine. They were right, and apparently it appeared in the 2010 New Yorker profile. Apparently around 2004, one of his pals saved, saved his, saved his DMs and they gave it to the New Yorker for this profile in 2010. And it was about when he first started off, the face bag and conversation was over text. Text message went as follows.

33:23 Zuck, after telling this pal of his that he's starting this thing up, he's got all these different people at Harvard that are signed in, he says, yeah, so if you ever need info about anyone at Harvard, just ask. I have over 4,000 emails, pictures, addresses, SMS. The friend says, what? How did you manage that one, Zuck says. People just submitted it. I don't know why they quote-unquote trust me dumb fucks This is you've never seen this I've seen this around I haven't seen it before hmm, and so this is going around in the invoke magazine reprised it and I saw and I thought You know this is kind of summarized the whole thing to me. Yeah, and it has to be kind of taken in

34:14 I'm sure that's exactly what he was thinking. He was saying, look at what's going on. It's because it's all happening. And after his face mash, you know, this is what he requested for that or something. He probably got called in and, um, There was one of the congressmen did ask about face, face mass mash. And I liked the way Zuckerberg is very well briefed. Unfortunately, he was so well briefed that they convinced him to say senator and congressman and senator and congressman. Well, he was also using that for thinking time. Oh, obviously. Yeah. That and his well at Facebook. He's spending a lot of time. But let's listen to the face face for people out there don't know about this.

34:59 Zuckerberg does a very good job of continually referring to it as a prank. It wasn't a prank. I'd like that. Yeah, sorry, go on. I mean, I was thinking it was more like he could have evolved that into hot or not hot. But yeah, before I go into my question, what was FaceMash and is it still up and running? No, Congressman, FaceMash was a prank website that I launched in college in my dorm room before I started Facebook. There was a movie about this or it said it was about this. It was

35:37 uh... unclear truth that that that claims that face that was somehow connected to the development of face book it isn't it wasn't just what's the time it was the same right this coincidental it was in two thousand three okay and it was a dominant right where she has nothing to do it but i think you're the two women and decide which one was a better more attractive of the two of the congressman that is uh... an accurate description of the frank website that i have a lot of stuff that you've got Just before we go any further, just some general observations. Oh, before we go any further, did you get the spreadsheet from Eric? Yes. I didn't. You can forward it to me, please. Okay. All right. Some general observations. The dude's in a suit. Let's just start with that.

36:29 Yes, and he's sitting up very straight. Well, that's kind of his deal. Yeah, he's a straight. He's yeah, that's I mean he can't sit up any straighter than this the dude is also clearly on the spectrum we knew this but Dude, yeah, he's dude, but I would say I The general atmosphere, and by the way, the woman in the green behind him who was signaling and laughing and smirking and very distracted. Yeah, she was a scene stealer. Yeah, she must have been one of the lawyers. I'm kind of guessing. And yeah, just, I don't know, she was just kind of annoying.

37:08 Very annoying, very annoying. Yes, and then the whole kind of the chuckling, the laughing, what is it with people who have a lot of money? Because I think that's the only thing really, you know, the incredible wealth of Zuckerberg is, must be the main thing why people just... Yeah, which was achieved in less than 15 years. Well, yeah, there's that. It's like, what? Okay. I just found it in general, just to hear everyone always, whenever you said something, it's a situation where the crowd is continuously looking for the laugh. You know what I mean? The crowd is so jacked up. Yes, I noticed this and I've seen it before and I think you're dead on. This has got something to do with, you know, some sickness and I can't put my finger on

38:04 Why everybody's so giddy why everybody's doing that, but they do that it's it's like It's I think it's a throwback to tribal era or something when somebody was like a one of these guys that had a lot of power Zuckerberg has a lot of power. It could be and of course money equals is one part of the power equation Yes, money, and then running this company's another part. I guess the same reason I'm all giddy about the king really I Yeah, you're all jacked up. Yeah, I am. Yeah. So I recognize the fallacy. It was a kick. It's gotta have been fun. You never know it. I doubt it, by the way. But you could be buddies with that guy. Sure. I used to actually have to send money to him in taxes. I'm not exactly a friend in that regard. Hey, man! Get your hand out of my pocket.

38:51 But otherwise, yeah, I can see we could be buddies. I don't know about Zuckerberg, Zucky. I think it'd be funny if you got together with the king and then you guys decided, and he says to you, he says, is there any way you can introduce me to Patricia? Oh, God. All right. You are the worst. You are the worst. Okay. Any more? No, those observations. Yeah, that and... But did you get the picture of his notes? No, I saw the article about it, but for some reason I got distracted and I never looked at the picture of the notes. It's pretty good. They were put together by the people behind him. Yes, it's in the show notes, nashownotes.com. But the only thing that was really interesting about it, about those notes, is under GDPR, the Global Data Protection

39:50 regulations, which are now in effect in the EU, which we'll talk about in a bit. He, on his paper, it says specifically, do not say we are already implementing GDPR. Or, you know, because it came up somewhere and someone said, what do you think of the Europeans? Yeah, the Europeans get it right. It did come up a couple of times. Yeah, everyone's laughing about it. But he specifically had in his notes, do not say, hey, we're already doing all this stuff. Then, you know, and he he steered away from that. I mean, he you know what? Above all for the for the dude's age and just I think he did a pretty good job, really. I think he did a great job. Yeah.

40:33 I'll say that, but it's still creepy and the whole thing is... It's still a creep, yeah of course. But if it were me, first of all, think about the Tourette's that would be going on there. Oh yeah, it'd be great. No one would understand what I'm saying. We're too distracted. We can't understand you. What the hell's wrong with this guy? He's got to be... that's guilty! Take them away. Well, let's back it up a little bit and do a story that just came out because there's a California story and I want to play it so we know what's going on because all these companies have to deal with California. Pretty much like they're going to have to deal with Haiti. Oh, this is the new California law? Yes.

41:13 And this is like the EU and the EU blazed because of the internet. If it goes into California, you have to obey California law. So you can't make a California version. You can't make a European version. You do one thing. So, OK, whatever you want us to do, we have to do it everywhere. And let's play this Zuckey California Privacy Act. We have some new details tonight about Facebook's about face. The social media giant announced late today it no longer opposes a ballot measure that would give consumers more privacy protection. ABC 7 News reporter Katie Marzullo has the story. Facebook has dropped its opposition to the California Consumer Privacy Act. In a statement a company spokesperson said, we took this step in order to focus on

41:53 efforts on supporting reasonable privacy measures in California. We talked with the president of the Californians for Consumer Privacy via Skype. Facebook has seen the light and they realize that consumers are demanding privacy now. And I am hoping that some of these other corporations follow suit. The Privacy Act would let people see what personal information businesses are collecting and allow consumers to tell corporations not to sell their information. Companies including Google continue to oppose the measure through the Committee to Protect California jobs. In reaction to Facebook dropping out, a committee spokesperson said in a statement, it is unsurprising that proponents of the so-called California Consumer Privacy Act are looking to distract from their deeply flawed initiative that will do enormous harm to the California economy while not protecting anyone's privacy.

42:45 Professor Larry Sokolov said this is a fascinating time. People are aware that they've given something up and now they're trying to figure out what they want back. Proponents of the Privacy Act are still collecting signatures. They'll learn in June if the measure qualifies for the November ballot. In San Jose, Katie Marzullo, ABC 7 News. Okay, let me get this straight. So what you kind of said in your intro is that because of the EU which as we know is run by the Germans It's the German Reich the German Empire the German Empire. We'll call it the new German the new gym. Yeah, yes NJ NG and G the new the new German Empire and California is modeling itself because of the companies there after the new German Empire course They were right on the law

43:38 I can't believe I still have this clip. But it doesn't get to the hook fast enough. No, it doesn't. All right. Anyway, the dead Kennedys knew a long time ago. California, Uber on us! I've got the key in my bag, Nancy! All right. Now, a couple of things about that clip. One is Google proves itself to be the douchebags that they are. Not realize, I hope they watch this because they're next in line. Oh, for sure. They better be. And this committee to protect California jobs or this whatever it's called, this

44:19 Act, the Committee to Protect California Jobs is against this Privacy Act thing, saying that it'll kill jobs and it'll ruin the economy. It makes no sense. It probably won't kill jobs, it'll probably add jobs because you need more jobs to take care of these consumer complaints where they want to have their data and all the rest of it. You can get your data off of Facebook, which Zucki made a big point about in his hearings. You can't do that with Google. Well, you know, the difference is, and it's very interesting to be here in the EU at this moment, because they just now are, everyone's going to have to start to comply with the global data protection regulations.

45:01 And when any website that I go to actually I did not sign into Google Specifically so I could tell you the experience if I go to google.com right now on a browser that I haven't Used first I can't actually search for anything. It said I get a big pop up the middle of the screen and It says, before you continue, to be consistent with data protection laws, we're asking you to take a moment to review key points of Google's privacy policy. This isn't about a change we've made. It's just a chance to review some key points. We need you to do this in order to continue to use Google services. Next. Click next. A privacy reminder. And then they did that. Wait a minute. They did that here.

44:19 Act, the Committee to Protect California Jobs is against this Privacy Act thing, saying that it'll kill jobs and it'll ruin the economy. It makes no sense. It probably won't kill jobs, it'll probably add jobs because you need more jobs to take care of these consumer complaints where they want to have their data and all the rest of it. You can get your data off of Facebook, which Zucki made a big point about in his hearings. You can't do that with Google. Well, you know, the difference is, and it's very interesting to be here in the EU at this moment, because they just now are, everyone's going to have to start to comply with the global data protection regulations.

45:01 And when any website that I go to actually I did not sign into Google Specifically so I could tell you the experience if I go to google.com right now on a browser that I haven't Used first I can't actually search for anything. It said I get a big pop up the middle of the screen and It says, before you continue, to be consistent with data protection laws, we're asking you to take a moment to review key points of Google's privacy policy. This isn't about a change we've made. It's just a chance to review some key points. We need you to do this in order to continue to use Google services. Next. Click next. A privacy reminder. And then they did that. Wait a minute. They did that here.

45:41 Recently because I went through the same exact thing. Yeah, well I hadn't had this happen because I've been using this in the US and it hadn't happened This is data we process when you use Google why we process it combining data Then this is whole thing learn how Google uses data to improve your experience my favorite Improving my experience and then how you decide and now it gets complicated now There's more like that. Yeah, if so then in order to Now use Google services. I have to click I agree, but I would have to go and look at all these different links and then tip if you sign into your Google account before agreeing will remember your choice across all your signed in devices and browsers, but I know oh I guess you can sign it, but you still can't use Google search, and there's other options and

46:34 And then there's a whole bunch of other customizing settings and it's just like, or I agree. So you know what's going to happen. Yeah. Oh yeah. This is the same problem. This is a problem that the EU's got to put a stop to it. I think the one thing that I came away with because a lot of people kept bringing it up, including the Lindsey Graham who, who took the Yule on, I guess, printed it out. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that. 15 point type or something. So it was really huge. And is the get rid of this EULA and the whole way it operates. Well, I think a lot of the senators were focused on that very point. I think a lot of them were and some of the congressmen, but the congressmen were a little more interesting because they would bring stuff up. Another thing that's got to change, I should mention, is the

47:19 is this time limitation on these speakers. It's like, I can't, let me ask you a question. What you gotta do, I'm gonna know, can you do anything about this situation, A, B, and C? Don't answer that, because I'm running out of time. So they just go on the harangue with the guy. Well, how about this? They need to limit the number of people who are questioning. That was the problem. There were too many people. That's never gonna happen. What they can do is they can limit them to one minute of questions. But their time isn't used up by the answer. Well, I don't know. I mean, unless you want to recover your time, reclaim your time. Yeah, but Zuckerberg would always say, you know, the basic service is people want to share, they upload their photos, but he would keep going back to that. And then, you know, at a certain point. Oh no, he had talking points. Yeah, filibustering. It's like, okay, we get it. That's not the data we're talking about. We're talking about some very different data. Can I just play two clips?

48:16 Don't play black. Okay, this is Blackburn, Senator Blackburn talking about censorship first. These were just the things that I thought were We're kind of decent questions and okay with the answer that interests us. We've done one hearing on algorithms I chair communications and technology subcommittee here We're getting ready to do a second one on algorithms. We're going to do one next week on prioritization So I'd like to ask you do you subjectively manipulate your algorithms to prioritize or censor speech? Nice finally someone's asking some real questions

48:56 Congresswoman, we don't think about what we're doing as censoring speech. I think that there are... That's a great answer! We don't think about what we're doing as killing people. We think about it as human resource management. There are types of content like terrorism that I think that we all agree we do not want to have on our service. I heard this once, I heard it a thousand times. Because that was his talking points. It's literally on the picture. Talk about terrorism and sex trafficking. Terrorism that I think that we all agree we do not want to have on our service. So we build systems that can identify those

49:33 and can remove that content and we're very proud of that work. Let me tell you something right now. Dominant Silk is not terrorism. Now, before I play the next clip, very disappointing to me because it's just accepted like it's the most normal thing in the world. But we have AI tools. We have AI tools. Our AI tools. Excuse me. Excuse me, Mr. Zuckerberg. Zuckey. Can you explain what AI tools are and how they work and what they do? Because all I hear is your AI tools aren't working and you're hiring 20,000 people to be your AI tools. We cannot accept this bullcrap. We have AI. You don't have AI. You don't have it. No, they don't. Nobody does. Skip logic is the best you have.

50:23 Here's Blackburn with I think a perfect analogy. I like that, by the way, she's not the only one who defended diamond and silk. I know, I know. But she was, without defending them, she was saying, hey, they're not terrorism, so what is your problem? And when I got into, well, of course you don't want hate speech. Well, we have AI tools for hate speech. I mean, this is a really deep conversation that needs to take place out. I mean, these idiots don't know anything about it. As far as I'm concerned, it's not really real other than skip logic trees. Oh, yeah, there's a little magical neuron identified. Sure. But hate speech. Are you kidding me?

51:02 You know, this is the most subjective thing in the world. But yet your AI tools are going to do this without bias. I mean, it just doesn't exist to my knowledge. And I think I'm pretty knowledgeable about it. Your tech press has failed you people. The tech horny have only been jacking off to the iPhones. They've never actually told you about anything that's happening. And Blackburn understands it. Mr. Zuckerberg, I tell you, I think your cozy community, as Dr. Mark Jameson recently said, is beginning to look a whole lot like the Truman Show. where people's identities and relationships are made available to people that they don't know. Very good analogy this I think helps people understand if they've seen the Truman Show which I just recently we won't rewatched Oh, wait a minute wait a minute, so it's like having a whole audience who can see everything I'm doing the people I'm talking to the relationships except this audience is I don't know advertisers you know intelligence who knows and then that data is crunched and it is crunched and they are fully on a way another

52:03 Okay, I'm sorry that's unacceptable Blackburn. I mean I know what you're trying to do for your constituents and all that but that's as bad as saying glitch. Yes and then the data is crunched. Okay. Beginning to look a whole lot like the Tron Show. Sorry, rewinding too far. Where people's identities and relationships are made available to people that they don't know. And then that data is crunched and it is used and they are fully unaware of this. So I've got to ask you, I think what we're getting to here is who owns the virtual you? Who owns your presence online? And I'd like for you to comment. Who do you think owns an individual's presence online? Who owns their virtual you? Is it you or is it them?

52:49 Congresswoman, I believe that everyone owns their own content online. And that's the first line of our terms of service. See again, he's going straight to, yeah, you own your own content, sure, but she asked specifically about the crunched, the data. Hey, the new from Crunch Bar. If you read it, it says that. And where does privacy rank as a corporate value for Facebook? Congresswoman giving people control of their information and how they want to set their privacy is foundational to the whole service. It's not just a kind of an add-on feature or something we have to comply with. The reality is, if you have a photo, if you just think about this in your day-to-day life. I can't let you filibuster right now. I can stitch one of mine who's a benefits manager, brought up a great question in a meeting at her company last week. And she said, you know, health care, you've got HIPAA, you've got Gramm-Leach-Bliley, you've got the Fair Credit Reporting Act. These are all compliance documents for privacy for other sectors of the industry. She was stunned.

53:50 stunned that there are no privacy documents that apply to you all. And we've heard people say that, you know, and you've said you're considering maybe you need more regulation. What we think is we need for you to look at new legislation. And you're hearing there will be more bills brought out in the next few weeks, but we have had a bill, the Browser Act, and I'm certain that you're familiar with this. It's bipartisan and I thank Mr. Lipinski and Mr. Lance and Mr. Flores for their good work on this legislation. We've had it for over a year and certainly we've been working on this issue for about four years. And will you commit to working with us to pass

54:40 privacy legislation to pass the Browser Act. Will you commit to doing that? And I'm not directly familiar with the details of what you just said, but I certainly think that regulation in this area... Okay, let's get familiar with the details. As you've heard, we need some rules and regulations. This is only 13 pages. The Browser Act is 13 pages, so you can easily become familiar with it. And we would appreciate your help. And I've got to tell you, as Mr. Green just said, As you look at the EU privacy policies, you're already doing much of that. If you're doing everything you claim. Because you will have to allow consumers to control their data, to change, to erase it. You have to give consumers opt-in. And the Browser Act stands for balancing the rights of web surfers equally and responsibly

55:36 And it is 13 pages, very simple. It basically says anything that comes in or out of that browser, you should be able to delete on the server end, which is almost a technical impossibility, it seems. Well, not impossibility, but just knowing what comes out and is logged and stored and crunched. You know, you should stop there and make a note. The government itself has demanded that people keep these logs and all this stuff that now they want to remove. Well you have to have the right to remove it, the right to remove it. But really... Well the right to remove it doesn't mean it's gonna get removed because the government wants to keep this information for the Homeland Security folks.

56:22 And the intelligence agencies. So why don't these congresspeople like get their act together and realize what's going on here? It's got conflicting interests everywhere. Well, we also have a responsibility and I'm going to say that our responsibility is to have a browser that doesn't fucking, excuse me, that doesn't blow all of our information out there and And just because we accept Chrome and all these shitty browsers... I don't use Chrome. People use Google, people use Chrome, people use... I use all the browsers and I use Brave. I've been using Brave more often now that I recognize how it handles ad blocking.

57:15 Pretty good. I have I normally was using Firefox, but now I'm using brave a little more because with Firefox the ad blockers which are somewhat of a scam Because the ad blocking companies do three there that ad company. Yes, and it's an advertising block as they block ads and then you go to like certain publications if you're going down and like a news list to get some ideas for There's a lot of these, actually most of the newspapers, like, hey, hey, you're using an ad blocker, hey. And then they, you know, you have two options, some like Forbes. Yeah, don't block on this page for this moment. Forbes just cuts you out. No, you get rid of the ad blocker. We're not fooling around. With Brave, what Brave does is it somehow signals the publication that, hey,

58:05 Hey, no, there's no ad blocker. No. And then it, then it takes the, it's itself takes the ads and buries them someplace where you never see them. It's proxy. So it does some sort of a virtual ad blocking. It proxies it. Yeah. Okay. That's what I meant. Proxy is the actual TCP into the, into the bit bucket and so you just never see it. It's gone. Yeah, it's done. All I know is I don't see the ads. And so the ads are gone and it's like, but these guys think they're delivering the ads. So they're getting, which is again, some sort of, which is really something scammish about that because now the poor company paying for these ads to be displayed, they're getting gypped. There's scamming and advertising? I'm shocked.

58:47 I'm shocked, I tell you. Hey, guess what I found out? Milk goes bad if you leave it out. Shocked again, I tell you. Yeah. So Bravest got the right idea. That's our responsibility. It has issues, of course. It takes a while to build a good browser, but the idea they have behind it is, We will crunch the numbers in our own browser and then we'll make a set of what they call indications available to companies and advertisers saying, okay, I'll give an indication if I'm interested in some kind of sports related thing. But it would never be the raw data, it would be our own version of what they use internally in their thousand points of light of data points.

59:34 white male old guy straight looks at, you know, sailboats. That's their data points, but we would have them. That's the thing. All you need is the, well, you need a lot more, but having our own browser that you control what you're sending, and this is the start where they already think they're serving you ads and we're already effectively filtering them out. Win for us. Works for me. Yeah. Watch that guy. Watch the CEO of the company get picked up for kiddie porn. Oh, something, yeah. They're not gonna stand for this. They're gonna have to do something. He should get some insurance. Anyway, back to the clips. But yeah, she was good. There's another woman, I didn't get her name, I forgot it, but she's the one I think gave him the best hard time.

1:00:23 This is the hostile Congresswoman and she just goes on and on. She just goes off on him saying all kinds of crazy stuff and every time he tries to respond she just plows through it because she doesn't got time again of flaw in the way this works. You are collecting personal information on people who do not even have Facebook accounts, isn't that right? Congresswoman, I believe that... Yes or no? Congresswoman, I'm not sure that... I don't think that that's what we're tracking. I don't think that the average American really understands that today, something that fundamental. And that you're tracking everyone's online activities. There's searches. You can track what people buy, correct?

1:01:06 Congressman, Congressman. You're collecting that data, what people purchase online. If they share it with us. But Congressman. Because it has a share button so it's gathering, Facebook has the application. In fact you patented applications to do just that, isn't that correct? to collect that data. Congresswoman, I don't think any of those buttons share transaction data. You watch where we go. Senator Durbin had a funny question yesterday about where you're staying and you didn't want to share that but Facebook also gathers that data about where we travel. Isn't that correct? Congresswoman, everyone has control over how that works.

1:01:45 And it goes on. But she was just she did bring up the point I thought I stop. I just want to say something that is not true, because I have location sharing turned off. I went to College Station somehow that showed up on one of my places visited, which I had almost no data. Once in a while, this one data point and I guess they're getting it from Wi-Fi or wherever. But it's not true that I have the capability to turn that off. Lie. Yeah, that was most of this was a lie. That was a lie. And you you actually bitched about this already. Yeah. And and she does point out in a bunch of people because I said I'm not a Facebook, you know, me, here's me. I'm not a Facebook user. Perfect. You're perfect for Congress. And so I got two or three notes from some high end guy, dude's name, Banner said, hey. And one guy explains to do right. You're not.

1:02:42 You're being tracked anyway if they can, if you ever touch the site you're just coded with some hash code. They don't have your name but if they get your name they'll put it in there. Canvas profiling. And so that's what she was bitching about. She says people that aren't even Facebook users are being tracked by you douchebags. Why didn't she say it like that? I don't know. She should have said it like that. You know what it is? Well she was implying it. No but here's the problem. Most of these jamokes They have people who work for them who understand and have questions, but these people don't know what they're asking. They're just reading the script. This is a problem. I don't want to change the subject, but I'm going to change it for a split second. This is the problem with modern journalism. Lib Joe's.

1:03:26 What you just said is exactly the way a journalist is now taught to operate. In the olden days, journalists were all specialists. There was a guy given the beat, he's a police reporter, and he actually hung out with the cops and learned his job before he became a city desk editor. But he was like a guy who was learning, he maybe was a cop before, or in my case, I knew enough about computers, I could write about computers. Modern journalists say no, you don't need to know anything. You just need to know how to ask questions.

1:04:03 And you should be, and then if you ask enough questions, you'll figure out the story. And so everyone should be neutral. And I've always found that to be just, this is the reason that in the government you want to, for example, I keep using myself as an example, but I worked at Union Oil and I went to work for the government as an air pollution inspector in refineries. And it wasn't because I was corrupted by their oil refiners. It's because I actually knew how a refinery operated. As opposed to some dumb guy who comes in and doesn't know anything, and he's supposed to do the same job. He can't do it. It's the same thing with reporters, and it's the same thing with congresspeople. Yeah, these days you have to be able to use social nets. You have to know something. You gotta know the social nets, and you have to look hot. Come on. Yeah, well that's all it really takes. But it doesn't work, which is the only reason you listen to the No Agenda show, is because

1:04:59 We have a broad range of experiences and we're both technically oriented, so we can spot this sort of thing. But if we were just the two guys on the street... And we have white privilege. ...we'd get the same material. We have white privilege. We're perfect. We have white privilege on top of it, which is really good to have. I'm sorry, but that was a little aside, but I think people should always realize that we have a problem in government because of what Adam just said. They don't know what they're talking about. And worse, the people who actually seem to understand it, who wrote the questions, aren't there for the follow-up because then when Zuck, Zucky, when he goes into his, you know, people want to come to Facebook to share and make connections, then they say, well, that's not the answer. I don't know what I'm asking.

1:05:46 They just don't. They should be, just like they have some of these guys give testimony before Congress with their lawyer whispering in their ear, they should have those people who are sitting right next to them whispering in their ear. Or use an IFB for God's sake. What's wrong with that? Yeah, get some comms going, people. I think that's actually illegal. Get some comms going. Get some comms on this stuff. Use your pager. And you get what's in your next one. Well, no, I have, I don't have, oh yeah, I do have, I have one. I have the Blumenthal, the best one, the only guy that had his act together was Blumenthal. Because all he did was he just realized that there was a legal violation of an FTC order that Facebook was just violating over and over. What do they call it? I have part of it here. This is the... What is it called? Sorry? Convention, no, not a convention.

1:06:43 What's the name of the document? I can't remember but once they these guys and I didn't realize this by the way when they when the guys who did the the material that went to eventually went to the Analytica company. Mm-hmm. They were they had their own and and Blumenthal had it they had their own EULA which gave them two rights to resell this as many times as they wanted to I'll tell you, you know, Chris Breshears Yeah, he went and he checked and his some of his face bag apps that he wrote before 2015 Still work. They still suck in data and data from your friends. It's still on Oh, well, tell him I need a mailing list Maybe he still listens. I don't know. He's pretty dimensionally out. It's pretty dimension B. Oh

1:07:36 Yeah, well it doesn't mean you can't get us a mailing list. The guy who had the poop cast is Dementia B. You tell me. Let's play the Blumenthal clip. And by the way, you have to cut this off. For some reason when I extracted this, I took the whole clip down ten minutes worth, which is not all Blumenthal, so you have to stop it when I say so. It looks like only 11 seconds, John. Or is it 11 minutes? It's 10 minutes and 11 seconds. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, my counter is obfuscated. Sorry. Senator, it certainly appears that we should have been aware that this app developer submitted a term that was in conflict with the rules of the platform. Well, what happened here was in effect willful blindness. It was heedless and reckless, which in fact

1:08:24 amounted to a violation of the FTC consent decree. Would you agree? Consent decree, there it is. My understanding is that, is not that this was a violation of the consent decree, but as I've said a number of times today, I think we need to take a broader view of our responsibility around privacy than just what is mandated in the current laws. Well, here is my reservation, Mr. Zuckerberg, and I apologize for interrupting you, but my time is limited. We've seen the apology tours before. You have refused to acknowledge even an ethical obligation to have reported this violation of the FTC consent decree. And we have letters, we've had contacts with Facebook employees and I'm going to submit a letter for the record from Sandy Parakilas, with your permission.

1:09:20 that indicates not only a lack of resources, but lack of attention to privacy. And so my reservation about your testimony today is that I don't see how you can change your business model unless there are specific rules of the road. Your business model is to monetize user information, to maximize profit over privacy. And unless there are specific rules and requirements enforced by an outside agency, I have no assurance that these kinds of vague commitments are going to produce action. So I want to ask you a couple of very specific questions, and they are based on legislation that I've offered, the MyData Act, legislation that Senator Markey is introducing today, the Consent Act, which I'm

1:10:19 Joining don't you agree that companies ought to be required to provide users with clear plain information about how their data will be used and specific ability to consent to the use of that information. You know what I think is interesting? He's asking for something that I don't think is possible because it's really only your imagination that is the limitation of what can be done with the amount of data that is tracked. Right down to accelerometer, you know, how you're holding the phone. It's just you, I mean, to tell people this is what we're doing with it, you might as well just say

1:11:00 We can do anything. It's you know once we get our AI tools then the sky is the limit You can know when someone's you know, it's just basically anything especially with movement location Proximity yeah, so it's not exactly fair. I know it's a gold mine I do generally agree with with what you're saying and I laid that out earlier when I talked about what would you agree to an opt-in? in as opposed to an opt-out. Senator, I think that that certainly makes sense to discuss and I think the details around this matter a lot. Would you agree that

1:11:44 Users should be able to access all of their information Senator yes, of course wrong question information that you collect as a result of Purchases from data brokers as well as tracking. Oh, yeah, that's good Senator we have already a download your information tool just on the data brokers I don't know if it's in this in Blumenthal's thing, but I have to correct myself. They weren't selling to the to What's the FICO company name again? I keep forgetting it with a V What? Oh yeah, Veritas or something. Yeah, sure. Veritas is exactly the opposite of what they are. Yeah, some V company. Not VeriSign, no. You should have a big, you should have a note and have it up because you keep referring to it. Yes, I know, it's odd.

1:12:34 But anyway, he was buying from them and he notes in that answer, I don't know if it's in this bit, that that is standard ad practice. And of course it is because that's where your data goes when you sign up for protection, when you sign up for, you know, LifeLock, I'm pretty sure they do it too. They sell your aggregate data. All these credit companies as well, they sell it to the advertisers. So they know what you're buying, when you're buying it, you're in the Uber, what are you doing? They know the credit card guys, they've got the gold mine and they're selling it and Facebag is importing that or was importing it. There you go.

1:13:11 That allows people experience see V company to see and to take out all of the information that Facebook That they've put into Facebook or that Facebook knows about them. So yes, I agree with that We already have that I have a number of other specific requests It was a Victoria's Secret you agreed to support as part of legislation. I think legislation is necessary. The rules of the road have to be the result of congressional action. We have, Facebook has participated recently in the fight against scourge, the scourge of sex trafficking and the bill that we've just passed that will be signed into law tomorrow. SESTA, the Stop Exploiting Sex Trafficking Act was the result of our cooperation. I hope that we can cooperate on this kind of measure as well.

1:14:04 Senator, I look forward to having my team work with you on this. Thank you, Senator Blumenthal. Senator Cruz. Yeah, my teamwork. Oh, this is good, too. This is Cruz coming up. Yeah, I just wanted to say one other thing. It wasn't really clippable because it came multiple times throughout what I saw. You know, okay, so you ban an account. What's to say that that account, you know that the corporate entity You know just creates an account another account. No, we ban the corporate entity. Okay So what if someone lies and creates an account under you know on the on the down low on the QT? If you don't know it, but they're still the same guy and they've created the account. No. No, we're pretty sure that's not happening at what point

1:14:49 Can we all just agree that that's the same thing? How do you know about what's going on in Myanmar? Ladies and gentlemen, they're reading your messages. They're scanning everything to make sure that you're not some illegal guy who was already banned from the system. They're reading your messages. They're reading it. All of it. All of it. with their AI tools, but people are reading it. I think they have AI to flag things that are suspicious. Oh yeah, it's just like the CIA. They probably hire some ex-NSA guys who do that for a living. Yes, but let's just be honest. He didn't say it and the congressmen and women and the senators were too stupid to ask, but that's really what's going on. And they admit it. It's not like it's a secret.

1:15:33 But let's just put context around when they read your messages. It's not just to give you ads, it's to make sure they can ban you. Yeah, they can. Right. Now, the other thing that's kind of interesting is this idea that opt-in, this opt-in, opt-out thing is a red herring. And it always has been. And I'll give you the example of why I think this. is because all they have to do is hound you. It's like the EULA. You can't use the thing, let's just check the box. You can't use this app unless you agree to this. You can't, you know, this is that EULA thing. It all boils down to that. Or the old trickery, which you run into all the time. You have to update your Flash Player for Adobe. So you do that and, oh, by the way, would you like a copy of McAfee?

1:16:22 And it says check the boxes checked. So you check it to get rid of it. And a free browser toolbar. So they opt you in. So you can opt, they can opt you in. So it looks like, yeah, you opted in. You saw the screen. It showed you that you checked the box. Yeah. And of course you have to uncheck the box, which is just, you know, it's an inconvenience to say the least, especially if you're in a hurry and you forget. Ah, and it's happened to me a couple of times where you get clicked that you don't notice at all. Then you got to stop the whole process so they don't load McAfee on your machine.

1:16:58 This whole thing, the whole business is just built on scams. And I encourage everyone to look at the South Park episode called Icentipod. It was done years ago and it is about exactly this problem. It is extremely well done and you will understand. So now Ted Cruz comes up and he also brings up Honey and spice or whatever those two women's names are I can't remember sugar and spice. I sent a pad spice and lemon Diamond and spice diamond and spice diamond pearl Cruise really lays into the guy because mostly from political reasons and again never lets him say much Because it's time my time is running out. I reclaim my time diamond and so diamond and silk diamond and silk oh man

1:17:52 Woohoo! It's the short-term memory that goes first, people. That's what you said. Mm-hmm. Anyway, Schubert, you want to play this out? Yeah. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Mr. Zuckerberg, welcome. Thank you for being here. Mr. Zuckerberg, does Facebook consider itself a neutral public forum? Senator, we consider ourselves to be a platform for all ideas. Let me ask the question again. Does Facebook consider itself to be a neutral public forum and representatives of your company have given conflicting answers on this? Are you a first-limit speaker expressing your views or are you a neutral public forum allowing everyone to speak? Senator, here's how we think about this. I don't believe that... Nice, nice performative by the way. That's one of the better performatives. Here's the way we think about this. Oh, beautiful. ...content that clearly we do not allow.

1:18:41 Right, hate speech, terrorist content, nudity, anything that makes people feel unsafe in the community. Some nudity! From that perspective, that's why we generally try to refer to what we do as a platform for all ideas. Let me try just because the time is constrained. It's just a simple question. The predicate for Section 230 immunity under the CDA is that you are a neutral public forum. Do you consider yourself a neutral public forum or are you engaged in political speech, which is your right under the First Amendment? Well, Senator, our goal is certainly not to engage in political speech. I'm not that familiar with the specific legal language of the law that you speak to. So I would need to follow up with you on that. Okay, hold on a second. First of all, I know a lot about Section 230 because we've just discussed this so much over the years. And for Cruz to say a neutral public forum has nothing to do with what is in the law.

1:19:41 and, you know, first, you know, as a First Amendment speaker expressing your views, all this, it's not in Section 230. Section 230 is important because that's what really allowed the Internet to grow the way it is, but it really is about editorializing versus removing stuff. And for then Zuckerberg to say, oh, I'm unfamiliar with what you're talking about, that's the whole reason his business exists. So this is bull crap, all of it. I'm just trying to lay out how broadly I think about this. Mr. Zuckerberg, I will say there are a great many Americans who I think are deeply concerned that Facebook and other tech companies are engaged in a pervasive pattern of bias and political censorship.

1:20:28 There have been numerous instances with Facebook. In May of 2016, Gizmodo reported that Facebook had purposely and routinely suppressed conservative stories from trending news, including stories about CPAC, including stories about Mitt Romney, including stories about the Lois Lerner IRS scandal, including stories about Glenn Beck. I'd forgotten all this good stuff, actually. It was kind of nice to have the summary from the Dimension A side. He's not under oath, is he? Yeah, of course he is. I don't think he was under, did he get sworn in? Truth, hold truth, nothing but? Well, I didn't see it, but I'm sure he did. I didn't see that. I saw the beginning on C-SPAN. You think he just wandered up there? Control room says no, not under oath. Well, then he can say whatever he wants. Right. That is what we're witnessing. In addition to that, Facebook has

1:21:20 initially shut down the Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day page. By the way, I agree with that one. Just shut it down. Has blocked a post of a Fox News reporter. Has blocked over two dozen Catholic pages. That's blocked Christina Curry's side boob. And most recently blocked Trump supporters Diamond and Silk's page with 1.2 million Facebook followers after determining their content and brand were quote, unsafe to the community. To a great many Americans that appears to be a pervasive pattern of political bias. Do you agree with that assessment? From now on I'm going to call them Raven and Silk. I think that's better. Senator, let me say a few things about this.

1:22:02 First I understand where that concern is coming from because Facebook and the tech industry are located in Silicon Valley which is an extremely left-leaning place nice and And this is actually a concern that I have and that I try to root out in the company, is making sure that we don't have any bias in the work that we do. And I think it is a fair concern that people would at least wonder about. Let me ask this question. Are you aware of any ad or page that has been taken down from Planned Parenthood? Senator, I'm not, but let me just finish. How about moveon.org? Sorry? How about moveon.org? I'm not specifically aware of those. How about any Democratic candidate for office? I'm not specifically aware. I mean, I'm not sure. In your testimony, you say that you have 15 to 20,000 people working on security and content review. Do you know the political orientation of those 15 to 20,000 people engaged in content review?

1:23:02 They're awesome. No senator. We do not generally ask people about their political orientation when they're joining Hold on here's where Zuckerberg was you know very well primed, but he was he wasn't ready for this Danny Roy wasn't ready for this because he had a gem because what Cruz did was toss him a softball and what what what Zuckerberg could could have said Zuckey could have said was I I'm sorry, Senator, but it's against the law in the state of California to ask somebody what their political orientation is when we hire them. Nice one. And he would have... that would have short-circuited Cruz. No, no, no, no, no, better yet, Senator Cruz, Senator,

1:23:53 I'm not sure and not aware of all the laws in Texas, but in California, see, that's how you do it. Yeah, well, that would be even better. Yeah, you're right. That would have been just nice. But just off the top, he did. He doesn't either know this or... Spectrum, bro. Spectrum. Spectrum. But he could have nailed Cruz right there. But no, no, he just gets continually bullied by Cruz. But it was fun to watch because I think Cruz was on a roll here. Yeah. He even said it was fun. So as CEO, have you ever made hiring or firing decisions based on political positions or what candidates they supported? No.

1:24:31 Why was Palmer Luckey fired? What a trap. What a trap. And here comes one of those crowd-guffawing moments. That is a specific personal matter that seems like it would be inappropriate to speak to here. You just made a specific representation that you didn't make decisions based on political views. Well, I can commit that it was not because of a political view. Do you know of those 15 to 20,000 people engaged in content review? How many, if any, have ever supported financially a Republican candidate for office? Senator, I do not know that. Your testimony says it is not enough that we just connect people. We have to make sure those connections are positive. It says we have to make sure people aren't using their voice to hurt people or spread misinformation.

1:25:21 We have a responsibility not just to build tools, to make sure those tools are used for good. Mr. Zuckerberg, do you feel it's your responsibility to assess users whether they are good and positive connections or ones that those 15 to 20,000 people deem unacceptable or deplorable? Senator, you're asking about me personally? Nice one. Senator, I think that there are a number of... Yes? He slipped in the word deplorable, which is a buzzword. Yeah, it was well done. Meaning Trump supporter. Yeah, well done. Well done. Things that we would all agree are clearly bad. Foreign interference in our elections, terrorism, self-harm. What about censorship? Well, I think that you would probably agree that we should remove terrorist propaganda from the service. So that, I agree, I think is clearly bad activity that we want to get down and we're generally proud of how well we do with that.

1:26:21 Now, what I can say, and I do want to get this in before the end here, is that I am very committed to making sure that Facebook is a platform for all ideas. That is a very important founding principle of what we do. We're proud of the discourse and the different ideas that people can share on the service, and that is something that as long as I'm running the company, I'm going to be committed to making sure is the case. Thank you. Thank you, Senator Cruz. Do you want a break now? Or do you want to keep going? Sure, I mean that was pretty good. He's so proud of him. Yeah, you can kill it. And with that, I think we're done?

1:27:01 Well, I do have one more, local rap, which is the local rap of the Zuckerberg thing. And let's play that and then we're done. Well, then we're not. Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg agreed with lawmakers today that regulation of his industry is inevitable as he faced harsh questions by lawmakers during round two of a hearing on Capitol Hill. We didn't take a broad enough view of our responsibility and that was a big mistake. And it was my mistake. And I'm sorry. If you've messaged anybody this week, would you share with us the names of the people you've messaged? Senator, no, I would probably not choose to do that publicly here. I think that may be what this is all about.

1:27:40 The questioning follows the Cambridge Analytica scandal that exposed the data of up to 87 million Facebook users. Zuckerberg revealed that his own data was sold. Okay. Sure it was. Now just a couple things to wrap it up that I remembered. One is I could not find this clip, a producer sent me the time code on the C-spans. I just could not find it. But apparently at one point, Zuckerberg is asked about intelligence agencies. No. Something about face bag and he's answer is like senator. I cannot see why any intelligence it no like Crap I got to find this clip someone needs to find it for me because the way it sounded is like he stuttered Including himself as an intelligence agency that clip I would like because that would be clip of the day if we could find that

1:28:31 Okay, if someone understood it properly. There was another little oopsie from... It may show up in the database at C-SPAN once this thing is... Yeah, someone will make a clip out of it probably. Once the transcript is done. This is... I think this... What was this on? MSNBC Mike Hufflinger is the former face bag global business marketing head Well, I think it is and what happens when you're trying to innovate especially at this scale What happens is you have to have an almost ridiculous amount of optimism to get up in the morning and build the world something that didn't exist before or certainly didn't exist before at this scale and then when you do that

1:29:09 You begin to discover that to be truly successful in the long term you also have to be very vigilant and I think what we've seen and I think we've heard it now from Mark very clearly for a few weeks is that there's been an enormous amount of invasion innovation and I think that's undeniable but not Invasion The truth always wants to come out doesn't it Now in finalizing from my end I was surprised that my statement, you can't monetize the network, is actually more true than I realized it myself. I thought it was only, but it's really hard to do this with advertising. And just if you're really not contributing to the value network like we have here at No Agenda, you can't just sit on the sidelines and have some infrastructure and scoop everything up.

1:29:55 It's some magical formula. It's like the Fibonacci of the internet. You can't monetize it. And no matter what you try, okay, I'll try by really the most truly Truman-esque method, even that is not working because the people won't stand for it. Eventually, I think that, you know, face bag will lose. You just can't monetize it. I almost, I don't have a sound effect for laughing. Why? I think they've done a fine job of monetizing it already. It's going to end.

1:30:33 I don't think so. And I don't think people, yeah, people are going to be all kind of, well, yeah, unless there's something else that comes along, nothing has ever ended unless something came along that did it better. Well, I'm seeing, I'm seeing a lot of GoFundMe projects, Kickstarter projects for all kinds of devices that really are trying to help avoid, you know, avoid the tracking. You know, Mastodon, I think still has a future. It wouldn't take much. You know, it would just take the same kind of, you know, the viral news coverage. It would take much. And what the much is... Celebrities. Celebrities. Well, celebrities are making a huge difference, but the much really is people actually caring.

1:31:16 Most people don't care about their own privacy as far as they're concerned. I'm not doing anything wrong, so who cares? Right, but they should stay on Facebook. And they will. Oh, and by the way, I figured out who's going to be on the database, the Department of Homeland Security journal database list and influencers. It's obvious. Everybody who's verified on Twitter. Boom. Yeah, of course. They're doing media influencers. Yeah. You said the No Agenda show is listed. Well, because you're verified. No. I don't know that they know that I'm verified and have anything to do with the show. These lists, they put them together just on who won the podcasting awards. These are probably influencers. Let's just put them on the list. Sounds like the government to me.

1:32:12 It sounds very just like the government and that doesn't mean that what it means to bad news is it means we're not going to get any new listeners. Oh, okay. Well, downer. But with that, I would like to thank you for your courage and say in the morning to you, John C. U.S.C. stands for California Uber Alice Dvorak. In the morning to you, Mr. Adam Curry. In the morning, all ships at sea. Boots on the ground, feet in the air, subs in the water, all the dames and knights out there. In the morning to the troll room. NoahJennerStream.com. Nice to see you all there. All the trolls. Also, hold on. Where am I?

1:32:55 Going here. I want to thank our artists for episode 1023 that was Warm handoff the title of the show and the cover art was actually you've got people like this a lot It was the crazy unglued Done by sir knight of the living dead so it was crazy blue and turn it into no agenda crazy unglued And it was really nice right down to a little Radio Shack price sticker that was $80 and it's yes Yeah, there was a good piece a lot of Lord. It had all the elements of a good piece it had the little sticker and had that I'm just seeing something new in this on the side It's odd it says

1:33:40 It's a little obfuscated by the sticker. It says small hands, small penis, big red button. I didn't even see that the first time. Yeah, I saw that one. All this and more inside. Good job, Sir Night of the Living Dead. Thank you. Yeah, I think that was an evergreen from some time ago, a month or two. He may be a man overboard by now. I hope not. It was good. I really liked it. Yeah. Enjoyed it. Enjoyed it. Yeah. All right. We do have some people to thank. We have executive producers, three of them and associate executive producers, three of them. We got the three, three balance, which is always good. Very nice. Steven Strusinski, parts unknown, came in as the top guy with $413.96. What's this number for?

1:34:31 Isn't that some combination of it means something in some... Oh, is it half of 1024? No. Of course not. No, it's not that. What am I thinking? I just see the No Agenda show and the Unfilter show playing together as well. ITM John and Adam, that's all he says. No, playing together well, not playing together as well. Playing together well. Playing together well. And that's all he says. So we didn't have any 1024 nights. I like the promotion. Yeah, the promotion was good, but people weren't in the mood. We're going to leave the 1024 nights, the bite night, available for the next year. James Pyers, Sir Wire of the Hidden Jewel and Escondido came in at $333. And he says, ITM John Adams sucks, we can't

1:35:24 Leave not in PayPal. Sucks we can't leave not in PayPal. We'll try a note. You can, you can leave a note in PayPal. I don't know why people can't see that thing. It goes right to it. I think on the mobile sometimes it might not work. Ah, the mobile may be a problem. We'll try by email. Thanks to you both for keeping me and the Noah agenda nation laughing insane. Please wish my son EJ a happy birthday. He is 14 on the 12th and a long time listener. All right. Please play EJ's jingles today. His favorite jingle. Rules follower. Bullshit! Oops. Sorry about that. That's on the list, but it fired accidentally. Okay, rule follower, time to stand, yeah, no Beatles. And then bullshit. But I don't know what time to stand is. We don't have... I don't know what that is either. Okay, you have to explain because I'm not sure what that is. I'm a rule follower, so if the rule is that we have to do it, then I'll do it.

1:36:24 Yeah, no, yeah, no, you're saying yeah, well you're saying no Yeah, no, you know, you know Yeah, no, I don't know why you're saying yeah, well saying no So good. Oh, you know forgot about this one. I don't know why you're saying yeah, well saying no bullshit You've got karma. That was nice. Yeah, you know you know song is great. I have forgot about it. Thank you our last executive producer Stuart Morris and Sir Stuart It's been writing in a lot $301 and there's nothing I did his last notice in January So I have no idea hmm what the deal is with this what he wants from us, but he can send a note in later Thank you very much. He maybe just wants to help us and was like yeah for the guys I

1:37:18 No note needed. NJNK. Albert Aversa, $222. N3. 2 to the 5th donation for episode 2 to the 10th. Nice new homeowner goat karma because na karma works a shout-out to sir Mike of Wakefield from the ancient Shire in Virginia some after EP shapeshifting Jews would be just perfect Love no agenda Al from CC I'll put a cryptic no I get it. I'll put the shapeshifters in the end of show jobs jobs. Oh, no I'm sorry didn't need jobs or just goat karma

1:37:56 Goat karma. New homeowner goat karma. I'm sorry. Here we go. You've got karma. It works. We're reliably informed. Miss Jamie Christiansen in Selburne, Texas. Miss. Miss. Miss. That's why I said miss. $210. Miss Jamie of the Highway currently in Cleaborn, Texas. Here's my 10-bit donation, 2 to the 10th, to the best podcast. To the best podcast in the universe, I'm halfway to damehood and realize I have yet to be de-douched. Oh, let's do that immediately. You've been de-douched. Nice and fresh. Yes, there's no jingles, no karma. 73s though, N3EOP. Oh, slash five is probably her mobile.

1:38:51 Oh wait, or no, I don't know could be could be part of a club station well 73s and 80s in 88s November 3 echo Oscar Papa from kilo 5 alpha Charlie Charlie ITM. Kevin Drozdich in Brentwood, California 200 even. He'll be our last associate executive producer. Just want to say to you both, I would like to just want to say thank you to you both. I would also like to thank all those who support the show. If one of you can pronounce my name right, I will match this donation. John, not the Southern California Brentwood. This is the Brentwood east of the mudflats. This is Brentwood. We're here by me. Kevin Drazich is the way I'd pronounce it, but it's probably, I'll look it up and... Kevin Drazich. And I'll bring it up on the next show because he doesn't have a time limit on this. Ah, ha ha. If either one of you can pronounce my name right, I will match this donation. So that's coming on the next show. You're such a lawyer.

1:39:54 Drazish. Drazish. Nice. All right. Well, thank you very much to our executive producers and our associate executive producers, Even Balance, 3 to 3. Appreciate that very much and of course these credits are real and are recognized any or you can use them anywhere credits are recognized People like putting it on the LinkedIn it gets sucked into all of those data brokers and before you know it you're known around the universe on all the social net all the social nets as Socialists as an executive producer of the best podcast in the universe no agenda show episode 1020 And we'll be thanking more people, $50 or above coming up a little bit later on. And remember, we have another show coming up on Sunday. I will be here still in the lowlands. John, you will also be on the road.

1:40:38 I'll be in Biloxi, Mississippi and I hope to have a meetup that night. I don't have the location or any details yet so it'll be sent out an email and tweeted. Yeah, this is the only thing I've failed at so far. I have not gotten my head around doing a meetup just yet. It takes a little... I've been on cloud nine, you know. You've been just living the life of Riley there with the king and queen, drinking them cheap whites. That's right everybody, make sure you let everybody know we're all over the world. And propagate! Our formula is this. We go out, we hit people in the mouth. Order!

1:41:22 You'll be very happy to hear this extremely disturbing report John you were the one that Brought our attention to poop particles in the bathroom specifically on mobile foams foams phones Remember that well a report came out that And I'm sure this could be the paper towel company who's putting this story out there. But bathroom hand dryers, as it turns out, actually suck in the poop particles and that blow it throughout the entire place and onto your hands. Yeah, you breathe in poop. And you're standing right there, especially if it's a Dyson. Yeah, you breathe in poop. You breathe in poop, people.

1:42:14 Man, you know, you know, this is somebody finally hired a PR. You know, we're they're killing us here. We're losing sales of our rolls of paper. What are we going to do? We got to get people off of the blowers. I know. Poop. Poop particles. That's almost like the guy doing the book at dot com. But a big but a book. It's like I know. Poop particles. That's right. It's got to be that. It's got to be a native ad. That must have started out that way. Probably just a promotion. I don't think anyone paid to get these things run. You could just, once you come up with a story like that, you can launch it. Who's not going to run that story? Let me just see who did the survey. Let me check. This is worth, this is deconstruction. This is worth doing it. Let me see. Oh man, Boing Boing has a great photo of one of those really horrible, all, you know, the paint is all

1:43:12 You know moldy. Oh my god. We sent that out with the press release. Oh, yeah It must be here a new study in applied and environmental microbiology Whoo-hoo, let's take a look at this. I can't believe I didn't do this up. This may be show prep for for Sunday Let me see. What is this? Publication this is from the American Society for microbiology That sounds legit Oh, anything can sound legit. We can do that. The No Agenda Consulting Group? American Society for Microbiology? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll look it up too. Let me see. They have recommendations. Don't they have to... Do you have to read the whole thing to get there? It's the oldest. It's the oldest and largest single life sciences membership organization in the world.

1:44:08 Membership has grown from 59 scientists in 1899 to more than 39,000 members. So they went to the right group. It sure seems like it. Here, Department of the Participants or let me see, Affiliations, Rutgers and the State University of New Jersey. Look for Kimberly Clark. Maybe some Johnson and Johnson. Let me see. I don't think they make paper products. Crown's Zeller back. There's another one to look for now. Okay, we'll work on it. Yeah, we'll nail it. It's gonna be easy Yeah, it's not it starts off with hot air hand dryers and multiple men's and women's bathrooms and three basic science research areas in the academic health center were screened for their deposition on plates of total back plates John plates of total bacteria. What does that mean? Oh

1:45:05 Well, they put some petri dishes out with some agar and that's all what happened. I thought the king's lunch was bad. Here they have plates of total bacteria, some of which were identified in a kanamacin-resistant bacillus subtilis strain, spores which are produced in large amounts in one basic science research laboratory. Plates exposed to hand dryer air for 30 seconds Average 18 to 16 colonies per plate. But interior hand dryer nozzle surfaces had minimal bacterial levels. Ah, okay. So it really is the blower. This is great. Yeah, that's technology for you. This is Professor Ted. He was right. Technology is only going to kill us.

1:45:55 So have you written to Ted and seen him get an interview? Ah man, I don't think he's allowed... I think he can do written interviews, but I'm sure he doesn't... Oh that's bullcrap. He should be able to do interviews. Nah, I'm sure he doesn't care. Start working on it. Well, he might care if he knows that you're a big fan. We have the love affair kindling. It's been a while, but we know we can always rely on the old horn dog, Matt Lee. Mean he's just he's always good. He's always good He's a flirt. He's a flirt and Heather is worth flirting with oh, yeah He's got that he's got a pretty malefluous voice good flirt voice Heather Heather's she's got a watch at her You know I should if we're gonna do this now entering executive mode

1:46:48 Yes, we're entering executive mode ladies and gentlemen just so you know Yeah, I good to go for that. We actually get we got another one here from someone else Yes, you know what you should have an ab yeah you guys did that do an exit we have an exit Ha! That's standing by. Yes, of course, Sir Chris. Of course he has an egg. We're in executive mode. She's got to watch her resting bitch face, which is a term I didn't come up with. Women call it this. And when she's unhappy with what's going on and her mouth starts to droop and it really doesn't make... It's not attractive. She has a nice smile. She has a jolly... She has a jolly face, don't you think?

1:47:38 She's pretty. She has a pixie like demeanor. Her head is too big to be pixie. She has kind of a square head. She looks like Betty Boop. Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's that. Yeah, otherwise very simple. But she was so happy about it. She started off her press briefing the other day. Oh, I think we can exit. Now entering. Oh, no, no, no, no. I did exit, damn it. Why are we exiting? I thought we were still going to stay in the mode. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, what am I thinking? Let's stay in the moment. What are you talking about? I'm crazy. You're still talking about her. Yeah, I forgot. Okay, so she would she he flirted with her she no no we're getting to the flirting's coming But first she walks in she's back from vacation She's super happy then she clunks her book down on the table And what are we always bitching about in these in this book is the biggest book in the world in world history? huge giant voluminous book Yeah, I'm gonna Replay that for you because she she plops the book down Damn it

1:48:40 Sorry, I'm failing here. Here we go. Hi, good afternoon. Nice to see you all. Do you notice anything different? Yeah, the book's bigger. This little book. I went on vacation and the book went on a diet. Her book was- Oh, she shrunk the book. Yeah, the book was really thin. I mean, you know the binders that they are. Maybe somebody listens to our show. Maybe Heather listens to our show. Oh, damn it. The boys didn't like my outfit. Crap what am I gonna do about the book size about my book? Okay? I did something about it. You all would enjoy that so we'll see how this works today Quality has replaced quantity. Oh, there's Matt quality has replaced quantity Heather Mm-hmm, but he's so smooth. We got a drink beer with this guy

1:49:33 Quality has replaced quantity. I don't know about that It's kind of like when my kids go to school and I use that opportunity to clean their rooms and they don't notice That's exactly what I do past week. Ha ha ha. Oh, yes, so nice here is a now this what happened here and Matt kind of gets into it with her there was a A reporter was killed by the Israeli defense forces, and there's a lot of crap going on now at their border wall if you haven't followed it. And this reporter who was wearing a press flak jacket, apparently he was from Hamas.

1:50:13 And they shot him. And so you have Saeed and he asks a question like, you know, what happened here? And, you know, how come you guys haven't recognized this? And how come you're not talking about it? How come it's, you know, yeah. And she's like, oh, well, you know, yes, I'm aware of that report being very sketchy about it. But Matt's ready to pounce. I'm sorry. You said you were aware of reports that a journalist was killed. Yes. You haven't been able to confirm it. But the guy was buried over the weekend at a funeral that was quite You know, it was attended by a lot of people. Yeah, and I'm aware of that. Yes, but not just of reports I mean, you know that this guy was correct. Yes, and I think you you might know a little bit more maybe maybe not but because this the company that he worked for that he co-founded and Co-owned had last month gotten been vetted and was approved for a grant from USA ID now

1:51:13 Well, first of all, can you say that that is true, that that is correct? My understanding is that he was vetted according to U.S. government guidelines, but I don't have anything more for you on that. Okay. Would – the U.S. Government guidelines would allow for a member of Hamas to get unfunded funding from the U.S. Saudi? I don't know the specifics of the case. I've not been involved in any of that, but if I get anything for you on that, I'll be happy to bring it to you. Okay, well, if you – the Israeli defense minister has said that although he was wearing a bulletproof vest with the word press clearly bladed on it.

1:51:48 He was a member of Hamas, a member of Hamas's armed wing, with the equivalent rank of captain, and that he was disguising himself as a journalist. And I want to know, I mean, if he was in fact vetted and approved by USAID for a U.S. taxpayer grant, Either the USAID vetting process is not very good, or it allows for a possible Hamas militant to get U.S. funding, or the Israeli defense minister is wrong. All I can say is that we're looking into that. What do you think? No, they're not. No. She is now. Yeah, was it spook or how did that happen? That seems... I don't know, but I think Matt nailed something here. Oh yeah, he laid the trap. He sucked up to her. I haven't seen this on the WAPO. WAPO, WAPO, WAPO, WAPO, WAPO. No, why would you? I'm just a podcaster.

1:52:42 Now, it's like the guy was Hamas. Captain. He somehow got a USAID American taxpayer grant to be a journalist in the field or something. And the Israelis apparently had enough on this guy. They knew who he was. He was a captain. And they decided to gun him down. Yes, from 1200 feet. Well, as a sniper, you can do that. 12 hundred feet's not that far from a good guy. The point is the press had been told you're safe up to 500 feet. Anybody closer than 500 feet is in trouble. So he was back 1,200 feet. So yeah, they picked him off, obviously. Let's see. Let's send Ivan over there to shoot him.

1:53:35 So she's acting dumb about this? The guy shot in the field? Yeah, it was a big funeral. With his press credentials? Yeah, this was a big press thing. The press, you know, it's one of their own, Mon. It's one of their own, so... Well, it's not one of their own if you consider that half the press is spooks. Yeah, they... That's why they all went to the funeral, I guess. But then Heather just had a little announcement and it caught my ear. So great to see you all again. Hope you're having a terrific day. A couple announcements to bring you first. As many of you know, the Qatari Amir is in Washington today. We warmly welcome him, His Highness Qatari Amir al-Thani to the United States. Now isn't this interesting? And this is where we will start to transition to Syria.

1:54:19 For it to have the Qatari emir in Washington speaking with the President of the United States at the very moment, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Turkey are all playing shenanigans for their pipeline because that's what it is. I've really done my checking on this. You know, Trump clearly knows more than he's letting on. And if he's complicit, you know, that's what he should be impeached for. if he actually is going to take this crazy ass bait. But to have the Qatari Amir in DC I thought was perfect timing and kind of confirms that there's something going on beyond what we're being told. The president met with Amir a short while ago and Acting Secretary Sullivan will meet with him this afternoon.

1:55:06 Qatar is a highly valued strategic partner to the United States and also a friend. You may recall that we held the inaugural U.S.-Qatar Strategic Dialogue here at the State Department on January 30, during which we collaborated on defense, counterterrorism, human rights, trade, aviation, and also investment. We're building upon that dialogue and look forward to discussing these and other important issues of bilateral cooperation during the New Year's visit. Since the dialogue and building on our July 2017 counterterrorism MOU, Qatar has continued to advance its counterterrorism and counterterror financing efforts. Yeah, sure. But I don't know if you have any clips on Syria, but I'd like to dive in a little bit. I have a few. Let's see what we've got. I have, let's go back before...

1:55:54 before the more recent phony baloney action in Syria. This is a prequel to that. This is before any of this happened. This was from a couple of days before. And I just carried this. I wanted to bring it up before, I never did. This is the Stuck in Syria clip. Yes, got it. Mission accomplished as the war drags on, the president telling the Pentagon to finish the battle. Even though the military argues ISIS is still a threat according to two US officials. A contentious national security meeting after the president declared Tuesday, I want to get out, I want to bring our troops back home. Even as his top commander for the region was saying it is too soon. The hard part I think is in front of us and that is stabilizing these areas, consolidating

1:56:46 Tonight, military advisers scrambling to prevent the president from ceding the battlefield to Russia and Iran, whose leaders were meeting on Syria today. Nothing could be more attractive, certainly to the Iranian Revolutionary Guards. And they have the President of the United States saying, we're on the verge of pulling out and you own the country. Two U.S. officials tell NBC News the president reluctantly agreeing to keep troops in Syria, asking how much more time do you need? Six months? A year? The White House later saying, the military mission to eradicate ISIS in Syria is coming to a rapid end, with ISIS being almost completely destroyed.

1:57:24 Not true say current and former officials Isis is not defeated and another terror threat moves al-qaeda's global leadership has begun to shift from Afghanistan and Pakistan to Syria taking advantage of the conflict taking advantage of the of the chaos Bullcrap, you know, I had a couple of thoughts during that clip. Maybe I should Premise all of this by And I just want to make sure that you're in agreement that this, to me, and everything I've seen, particularly you go back and look at GENIE Energy, stock symbol GNE, very interesting chart, went way down. They have the rights to the Golan Heights. They got a lot of rights to the drilling right in that contested area of Syria.

1:58:12 When Syria has 2.6 billion barrels, I mean, they do have some hydrocarbons and minerals that are interesting, but more importantly, there has been this ongoing battle. This is what a lot of this has been about from Qatar. The gas pipe goes up through Syria, goes into Turkey, then goes into the EU versus the Russian-Iranian pipeline which goes Iran, Iraq, Syria, and then there's the deepwater port there. They might even consider piping some off to Lebanon. And this is just competition. And the idea that we were pulling out, here's what I think happened, the idea that we're

1:58:49 scared the French because total oil... all these guys are in it. That's why the UK and everyone's all for it and all the warmongers and the neocons. And the UK was making a big, big splash. Right. And I think what might have happened... here's what I wish would happen. This is better. I wish that this in Trump's world he went, Ah, crap. Look what they're doing because of course we have all of a sudden another chemical weapons strike and I've been receiving YouTube videos and then all kinds of articles all morning from our military connections and you know the gas canister, the chlorine gas canister, this one that came through the roof and didn't explode, they show it, it has merc on the side, it's made in Germany.

1:59:37 And it was the Saudis likely, or Qataris, probably the Saudis, they've got our jets, and they were dropping this stuff. And Trump's like, oh crap, they're going to try and pull me in with this? And I think, I hope, in my world, I think, I really hope he went, I'm gonna do the crazy guy shit. Watch this. I'm gonna bomb you with the smartest, fastest shit! I'm gonna blow- I'm gonna mess you up, bro! And that's why all of a sudden the Brits and the French went, oh man, no no no no no no no no, we just wanted to stay there. Don't go all crazy, bro. It's a distinct possibility.

2:00:13 It is a distinct possibility. I hope it is what he did because otherwise it's like, wait a minute, you're going to leave a minute ago and now you want to bomb the crap out of everybody and start a war. That's the only thing I can come up with. Otherwise he's taken the bait and he's an idiot. Very possible. Both both scenarios are possible. Yeah, we don't it's like George Bush W when he was in office it was was is he an idiot or the shrewdest man in the world? Because he would they claim both. Yeah. Oh, what a dummy. What a dummy. Oh, man. These guys is conniving the Antichrist I mean, give me a break. It's either one or the other. Yeah, so we don't know and I was Trump smart enough to become president I think this would goals everybody they can't believe it, right?

2:00:59 So maybe you're right, maybe your thesis is correct. I want to play these three short clips from PBS where they had the ex-ambassador to NATO and he's had with some connections to Syria who came on with the scary stuff. And then we get to hear the PBS NewsHour guy repeat a nonsense claim. And I want to just deconstruct that, but let's play Escalation Potential, PBS Syria. or background. OK. President Trump tweeted this morning, the missiles are coming. Let's say we do go forward. What are the options for the U.S.? Well, I think the first thing to consider here is that the options will flow from the purpose of the attack, meaning what we want to get out of the objectives. Right. And these have to come from a very deliberate process inside the Situation Room led by National Security Advisor Bolton.

2:01:53 and ultimately approved by the president. So once the objectives are set, and here I imagine the objectives are reasonably simple, and that is to punish those responsible for this particular attack, to impose costs, and by way of those costs, attempt to deter future attacks. And if that's the objective, from that flows tasks to the intelligence community, tasks to the diplomatic community, and tasks to the military. Now we've heard that the Russians have said if the US strikes, they might strike back. Not only will they try to knock our missiles down, but they might even target the platforms from which we launch those attacks.

2:02:30 Is this just Russian saber-rattling? How do you, how do you, seriously do you take this? Well the thing that concerns me about this sort of exchange of rhetoric on our side but then the response on the Russian side is that you can already see a pattern of escalation even in the rhetoric and the challenge here is that such escalatory steps can be imagined to be controllable from inside the situation room. They might, we might imagine that these are discrete controllable steps. But in practice, they're often out of control and we can lose control and they can spiral in an escalatory manner because of miscalculation and misperceptions. So the danger here I think is that we launch into something that becomes escalatory. And that's how World War One started.

2:03:21 It's a dangerous game. It's a dangerous game. Now, go ahead. Yeah. Well, I was going to, I have an MP. I'm not, I'm trying to think where my NPR clip fits in. Let's do another one. I got another one. I got, here's another followup. And then I have the, I can play both of these that it makes some sense. Okay. Let's do the X escalation potential. Do nothing. What do you think about the option of not responding? Is that a viable option? Well, that's always an option as well. The challenge here is that the rhetoric has already put us on the path towards and setting expectations towards a response. So there's a certain cost by now, if now, we were not to do anything.

2:04:11 Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine. What is the cost? The cost is the same thing we complain about bitterly and claim we have nothing to do with it. We're Westerners, so we don't worry about saving face. That's something the Japanese do. That's something the Chinese do. That's something those stupid Asians all do. They have to save face. Oh, I gotta save face. We do it more than anybody. Don't you think? Yeah. Why is that political correctness at a meta level? It's all save face. Oh, oh, we said we're gonna do something and we didn't do it. Oh my god, we're screwed. Yeah, it's just part of saving face. This is nonsense. You can do whatever he wants to do one way or the other. Now the last one I have another pet peeve just to get it out of the way, which is the third clip with his

2:05:01 Listen carefully to this and you can figure out what I'm going to bitch about. ...curtail this kind of behavior. Is your sense that we can stop Assad from using chemical weapons? I mean, he has done this dozens of times in Syria. Yeah, you mean stating falsehoods as fact? Stating falsehoods as fact, but in this case, he's gotten out of control. He says dozens. Dozens of times. Dozens, which is plural for dozen. 24 minimum. It means at least 24 times. It means 24 times. Now this is a... Plus! Is this an ethical issue as a journo? I think so. Yeah. I think it's a hugely ethical issue. You cannot say somebody did something dozens of times. You know what dozens means. Dozens means minimum of 24.

2:05:51 Because plural of dozens has to be two dozen at least to be dozens. Yes. So he said, he said 24 or more times Assad has dropped chemical weapons on his own people. Really? I want to see the documentation for that. And why does he say something like that? He could have said he's done it before, which is dubious. But he didn't say that. He said dozens of times. This is the news hour. They're supposed to be the highest of the high, the haughty of the haught. Dozens, is what he said. I would hate to see you in the newsroom. Oh, I'd be bitchin' and moanin'. Mm-hmm. You'd be good. But you're too expensive. Too expensive. Too expensive. Too expensive. Well, I have two longer clips, and...

2:06:39 Okay, this is it really is like three minutes, but I feel it's worth it just to get a little sense of we're not the only the only ones who are crazy and think different about what's going on and I have people who are texting me and they're afraid like you know holy crap you know what's gonna go and what's happening what's gonna Worried our kids were worried is the former ambassador the former UK ambassador to Syria Peter Ford And he's on BBC Scotland and the whole thing is really quite good, but that's just you know, it's seven or eight minutes I had to make choices kill your darlings. It's how it works and it He's having none of this and of course the BBC guy really doesn't, you know, just doesn't understand his story. And he's going to explain the white helmets to us. He's going to really go down the list. The worst case is that Trump does launch off with some very unwise multiple attacks on Syria.

2:07:33 And given that Russian forces are deeply embedded with Syrian forces, in particular air defence, it's highly likely that scores of Russian soldiers will be killed. If anyone thinks that Russia will take that just lying down, I think they need to think again. Russian planes in the last 12 hours have been buzzing US destroyers in the eastern Mediterranean. Indeed, it's not just the US president though who's appalled by what they've seen in terms of these pictures coming from Douma. We've had

2:08:09 condemnation from President Macron, likewise from Prime Minister Theresa May too. If it isn't the sort of military action that you've just outlined there, what should be the response to this use of chemical weapons if it's proved? The correct response is obviously, and I think a child could see this, to get inspectors onto the alleged site of the alleged offences. And if it's proved then what? Because of course we know that Assad has form on this, we've had investigations previously and there has been fairly conclusive proof that chemical agents have been used.

2:08:48 I don't think that Assad is in the least worried that the inspectors would find out his guilt because he's probably not guilty at least on this occasion. I mean we have to engage our brains as well as our emotions here, not be stampeded by those videos which are described as being unverified, but which by dint of being repeated over and over and over again, come to acquire a spurious credibility. We have to ask ourselves what are the sources of the information on which we're in this stampede to war? They're twofold.

2:09:27 and I'm sorry but the media are falling down on the job in investigating this. The sources are the Syrian American Medical Society which is a pro-Islamist propaganda outfit based in the United States. Are you saying these pictures have been staged? Are you saying that people haven't died? Yes, yes, yes. In all probability the incidents have been staged. Come on, we know how easy it is to fake images for the internet, look at the images. Anybody could stage those. And then the second source is supposed to be so-called first responders. Who are the first responders? The guy stepped all over the guy when he said, and he talked about that Islamist group. Yes. I don't know if you can back it up to that. Yeah, I think I can. But he says it's financed by the CIA. Yeah.

2:10:26 The guy's fantastic. The guy stepped right on that line, which is very hard to hear. ...medical society, which is a pro-Islamist propaganda outfit based in the United States... So you're saying these pictures have been staged? I know, but this is... Welcome to Journo 2018. He says it right there. Financed by CIA. Yeah, he said and that's that would be a jumping-off point, but instead this idiot that's that is interviewing him is all Flustered about something else. He's not even listening apparently because he's something earlier concerned him Yeah, he had to bring up in the middle of this is step on the CIA line tinfoil hat. That's his You're just talking conspiracies theory stuff

2:11:10 Mr. UK ambassador who do you think you are? Yes, yes, yes in all probability the incidents have been staged come on we know how easy it is to fake images for the the internet, look at the images, anybody could stage those. And then the second source is supposed to be so-called first responders. Who are the first responders? In this case they are the White Helmets, which is another pro-Islamist

2:11:45 jihadi propaganda outfit who on the ground... This is an awful lot of effort to describe it, Assad, though, isn't it? Please let me finish this important point. The witnesses to these terrible events are are people who themselves were involved in beheadings, literally picking up the body parts. And we choose to give credence to testimony from these alleged first responders. But Assad's reputation is already very difficult. I'm trying to ask you a question to prove the point of what you're making. You don't allow, the BBC does not allow

2:12:25 questions of important detail to be addressed. We have a short period of time, I'm trying to probe what you're saying. The point is that surely that Assad's reputation is already dented. What would be in the interests of these people to stage these events? Is that not obvious? A child can see that The intention was to produce the hysteria and now the military action that we are on the point of taking, risking our own safety. What the jihadis have done is jerk our leash. And frankly for one, I think it's pretty disgusting that we are allowing ourselves to have our own leash jerked by these Islamist fanatics. This is what's going on. And ask yourself, how has it profited Assad?

2:13:15 Please engage your brain, answer the question. All his effort benefited from all this mayhem. In fact it's rebounded against him. Why would he do such a thing when he was already winning? The battle for Eastern Ghouta was virtually over. Why would he choose this moment to do the one thing that was guaranteed to pluck defeat for him from the jaws of victory? Thank you very much for joining us this morning. Peter Ford, the former British ambassador to Syria. The time is 17 minutes. That's right. Time and weather on the 8s here on the Beeb. Yeah, cut him off. Gotta get to weather and traffic. Gotta get to traffic. Time and traffic. Temp and traffic on the 8s. M1's clogged. M what? M1's clogged. Yeah. Oh yes. Avoid hot tubs, Peter Ford. Small aviation.

2:14:12 Don't canoe on any water in Washington, D.C. Don't hang out with Hillary. Well, maybe not in this case. That was a good clip. I'll give you a clip of the day for that fine. No, thank you. That's my producers, producers, baby producers. We also somebody somebody dug that one up. Well, that's a very it's an enlightening clip that you think that our news people would even Kind of go on it pick up on everybody else. No, they're all yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and let's bomb Iran Iran while we're at it because they're gonna go back to their nukes So let's just bomb people. Yeah, I mean the kind of an action you get the Democrats are all in and the Republicans are all in and let's all just get just bomb them Because they're all on the sucking on the teat of big oil. They're all sucking on the end big military. Yep. It's a twofer

2:15:09 Yeah, it's a bogo kinds of bonuses. So what if any so what if World War three breaks out Benny's? I got mine. I'm out here. I got a place in the Bahamas. Let's go to NPR very surprising again one of our producers actually just a couple of clips for this, but I'm just gonna play I think too. What are the Syrians thinking? What is life like in Damascus? Well, I have millennials in my life who are, you know, being frightened by this. Like, well, hold on, what's going on? It works, you know, this stuff really does work, especially on younger people. And NPR took to the ground. So what is your response to the saber rattling from Washington right now?

2:15:52 Okay, actually I'm one of many people here in Syria, especially in Damascus. I can talk about Damascus because it's my city where I live. In general, life is quite normal today. Children went to school, people went to work just like any other normal day. I went to my work also, I went to the gym. Very, very normal day. People are just talking about it. They are making a lot of fun of the whole thing. They are cracking jokes all the time. Some people were saying, Yes, a lot of jokes about it, to be honest. Okay, like Mr. Trump said that the missiles are going to be smart. So people are saying, Oh, if the missiles are going to be as smart as Donald Trump, then the whole world must be worried. And many, many other jokes like, okay, let's get ready today, we will prepare our popcorn and sit on the roof and watch the missiles coming. Some people are taking it a little bit seriously by started to keep

2:16:48 extra food at home, especially bread and rice, which is quite normal at such kind of situations. Some people get a little bit worried. Others are just living a normal life. I've got to say, I'm a little surprised to hear that because we see reports today that some commercial airlines have rerouted their flights away from Syrian airspace, worried about these threats coming from Washington. And that hasn't put people in Damascus on edge? No, not at all. Not in Damascus. Even in other governorates. Like I have colleagues from work. We have different offices all around Syria and they are all cracking jokes on Facebook.

2:17:24 Have you heard anybody? Not just cracking jokes. We're cracking jokes on Facebook. That's how much we're laughing about you nut jobs there in America. Damascus say they support the idea of some kind of attack or retaliation. Actually, despite that kind of sense of humor that we are having and the sarcasm, people are quite angry, very upset. Of course, we totally differentiate between American people and the American administration. I have to make this very clear. Oh my goodness. Well, if you remember when this whole thing started, early in our show, like I remember discussing this eight years ago, there were all these reports of the normality in Damascus. Even people who were communicating with us.

2:18:10 Yeah, and there was, I don't know what they're talking about. You know, this whole thing still reminds me of the trumped up. It was Guatemala or one of these places where the CIA had created, gotten ahold of the media and they created this idea that this huge army was coming into town. We talked about this we have some clips from some old agent discussing it and it worked so well They're marching in the town and they had convinced everybody that it was this huge army led by this guy nobody ever heard of Who walked into an empty town because everyone abandoned the this capital and they just said I'm now I'm running the place Bad information used to to control the public yes, and

2:18:55 Of course, this could not last, the NPR guy would not stand for this too long. I think this is about the, she's refuting the chemical weapon attack. Okay, a lot of NGOs, local NGOs are working near Douma now, receiving those people who are from East Ghouta and from Douma. They are receiving those people who are coming out. Some of them, they want to go to collective shelters. Others, they want to go to Jarabulus, to be evacuated to the northern part of Syria, to go to Jarabulus area. So, people who are standing there from these local NGOs did not notice any people who are coming out with any symptoms of being attacked by chemical weapons. The Syrian Red Crescent and the International Red Cross are there. And the Syrian Red Crescent is a very reputable organization, a non-governmental organization here in Syria. And the Syrian Red Crescent is one of the partners of the United Nations also. So, the Syrian Red Crescent confirmed

2:19:52 That there are no people who are coming out with any symptoms of being attacked by chemical weapons And have you seen the videos? Have you seen those rescuers and wet helmets standing there? No masks, no suits, etc. And they are just spraying water at people who are attacked. I've also seen overwhelming video evidence of people trying very hard to breathe people not moving and Exactly, but have you seen videos that were like leaked from the white helmets etc. Showing how they are videographing these kind of things and they are just acting How do you how do you handle this as an NPR guy? No, I don't really want to debate with you whether there was chemical weapons or not I don't want to debate with you. Holy crap That guy should be ashamed of himself. I don't want to I want to debate that with you. Yeah

2:20:46 Oh my God, this is what we have to deal with. Yeah. I mean, I feel sorry for the public that has to, I mean, it's like they can't trust these people. You cannot trust the mainstream media, PBS, CBS, NBC, ABC, New York Times, Washington Post, all these guys. They're all dumb shits. There you go. I will wrap it up with... and this is also just kind of showing that we're not... if we're crazy, if you think we're crazy and you're listening to this, we're not the only ones. Just so you know, there's more of us. Here, she's going to wrap it up. Where do you place your hope for an end to the violence in Syria?

2:21:30 I hope that just Russia and America start to talk diplomatically and patch up, because this is a problem now between America and Russia. It has nothing to do with Syria. This time the United States administration is accusing Russia of using chemical weapons. And we all know the story about the Russian spy, etc., and how things escalated. So now it's just between U.S. and Russia. It has nothing to do with Syria at this time. There you go. Of course not. It's about the dumb pipelines. So, so the only two things, I can't believe an NPR guy would defend about that. Yeah. I knew you would be arguing. Well, defend the videos. He's bull crap. You and I can put these videos together that, you know, look like something's going on when nothing's going on. Then you make some, you know, some, you affirm that as well. This was taken here or there. And these people are all dead now. I mean, we've seen this, this was years ago when we used to see these videos where the dead person was breathing.

2:22:27 Or it was the same dead person over and over again. I mean this has been debunked so many times that you can't trust these videos at all. They're not even worth, you shouldn't even be watching them. But these guys know that there's a bunch of suckers out there and so they'll keep producing these videos. And then to defend these crappy videos with that no, there's no providence. No, no, no, I'm sorry that fired by accident. I did not do that. No, no, seriously. I was actually glad you were talking because something froze because of something I did and it's that was total accident. Okay. Well, anyway, you get my point. I totally get your point. It's still frozen. Damn it. So I want you to talk. It's beyond me what

2:23:13 And it's all this Dimension B stuff. It's that they've signed up for thinking this way and they're not gonna even bother with... Trying I mean I had with them, you know with the Lib Joe's that we know Yeah, it's they don't even care to listen to any other side of any argument whatsoever It's all set in stone and there was I forgot somebody sent us a note I know if I haven't for reading today but they said that they were at the office and and somebody says she believes in the Washington Post and It's one of our guys who sent it along. You've given us a report from the UK. Oh yeah, that was a beautiful report. Very nice report. And he says that somebody in the office says they believe in the Washington Post. I thought it was from New York. No, it was New York. You're right, not London. After Gwen Ifill quit, she had to be one of the layers. She was one of the editors, executive editors. The one we laughed about the hardest turned out to be the best.

2:24:14 Yeah, and when she left, left, so she died. She left alright. This stuff is creeping in, a guy saying dozens. Oh yeah, so dozens, they're just bombing left and right. This guy's gassing everybody. When you turn around, he's gassing somebody. I love how you hate that. You're a really, you're an old print guy. I'm an old print guy. You know, you got like a visor. Yeah, green, green see-through visor. But sadly, you know, your Lib Joe buddies, they've just gone completely off the reservation. Do you ever remind them of their... What is the Hippocratic oath for journos? Constantly. For journos. What is the Hippocratic oath? There's none. Really? There is none? I constantly remind them that they're nuts. And I recently told them they were both unhinged. And one of them just goes, huh? I don't know what I'm talking about.

2:25:16 I'm gonna show my support by donating to No Agenda. Imagine all the people who could do that. Oh yeah, that'd be fab. We have a few people to thank for show 1024, The Byte Show. Richard McCutcheon, $169.26. Sir Mac, digital knight of mead, actually. He was please have dr. Pepper available. I guess he's being knighted. Yes. He's gonna be night. Oh, yes. We do have one so just dr. Pepper Well, just well, yeah, so you mix it with something else. Yeah, but what do you mix it with? I mean, that's that's not okay for the roundtable It's a little bit note below our standards. How about adding it ourselves adding something KN? Okay, dr. KN and dr. Pepper and KN and I get it is a joke

2:26:10 Ah, no, I don't like it. No, it's got to be something either Dr. Pepper and some kind of rum or... I mean, here's some other tips. How about Arming Yach and Dr. Pepper, which does taste good together? But the way it's supposed to go is we have bourbon and bong rips, cold brew coffee and cannabis, boobs and stinky tofu, onion rings and ice cream, English muffins with butter and honey, Captain Morgans and women with questionable reputation. I mean, something a little more... Yeah, a duo. Yeah, a good duo. Dr. Pepper a doctor pepper and hand job No Dr. Pepper and prunes, how about that? Okay hand job John get your mind out of the gutter That was the name. This is a true story. That was the name that Acer was going to give their small pocket computer hand job Yeah, this was a story told me by the CEO. Okay, I

2:27:17 I got a couple stories here. Wait a minute. Ten years, honey, ten years. You've never told me this. So here I'm having lunch with the guy who's the American CEO of Acer. And he tells me the story that they were going to, he says, he's got to be keeping an eye on these guys because they're nuts. He says, and he tells me they were going to name their little, just during the era of the Castlepedia and these kinds of pocket computers. And just the early days of Palm kind of thing. And palm computer, of course, has an implication that you use your palm to hold it. So they were going to name this little computer the hand job. And he had to put the kibosh on it because nobody, I guess, knew what that meant in Taiwan.

2:28:07 Which is ironic if you think about those barber shops. So he was, we were yacking away, he tells me this other story and then he was fired shortly after this. He tells me this story, not for the hand job thing, he saved the company there, that would have been embarrassing. But he says that this is when Stan Shee was running Acer and his wife was notorious for kind of really running Acer, even though, luckily I got to sit at a table with him and his wife one time, and his wife was one of those really sweet, nice lady, but everyone hated her because apparently she was always meddling.

2:28:47 is not unusual in Chinese companies. So he would fly over to Taiwan to do business and he'd always take a business class or some flight. that always was never the cheapest flight. And she would, had somehow had copies of the San Francisco Chronicle that held these cheap flights to Taiwan for 200 bucks, you know, on Kramerman Airlines. Good times. Charters. And she would send him, she sent him a page from the Chronicle with all these cheap flights circled With a note, why aren't you taking these flights?

2:29:30 So he took another page from the paper which had all these incredibly cheap junk computers for a hundred bucks or two hundred bucks. These crappy ones made locally. And so he took and circled all these cheap computers, attached it to her note and said, because we don't sell our computers for this price. Wow. If you donated today, I think you certainly received your value. The price of admission right there. Great story. Within a couple months he was gone. I'm changing it to Dr. Pepper and a quick handy. I think that that is more appropriate. Okay.

2:30:11 Anyway, that's why that's what I was talking about. I was talking about the little Acer computer was talking about I know what you were thinking, but is she still running the company even though he retired some years ago and she's gone went with him and so no the company is now run by Professionals aren't doing as well the way I see it. Well, here's my thought on it Once we get our two-way pager network up and running we're gonna crowdsource a device and we're gonna call it the hand job and We could. All right, onward. Sir Uncle Dave, why not? Sir Uncle Dave, Knight of the One-Armed Bandits in Henderson, Nevada comes in and he has a, he did send us a note, which if I can find my glasses I can read, and I will read it because he's a knight.

2:31:01 I'm not gonna read the whole thing, that was too long. You guys are the George Carlin of the small batch podcast, dissecting how the media and politicians use words to confuse and profit off us slaves. As of Friday, I am declaring my freedom from being a wage slave by retiring from my job in the gaming industry to a life of travel. This is a shame, because he was working for one of these big gaming companies that make the slot machines. He's gonna do some reading and writing, doing whatever the hell I want, and listening to the best podcasts in the universe as a result. Well, somebody made out. As a result, I request three things. First, some retirement karma to keep me from mac and cheese lifestyle. Second, being now well established in my 60s with my need for comfy shoes and clothes, that Trump style, a little title change to Sir Uncle Dave Nida, the retired old farts. Okay, we'll give him a title change. Nice.

2:31:52 Hold on, because I didn't have that on the script. I wouldn't because it's in this note. Ah, of course not. Mailed in. Sir Uncle David, knight of the retired old farts. And can you please play the theremin jingle followed by a goat scream in honor of the theremin I built around 50 years ago as my first electronics project. You've got karma.

2:32:29 Okay, so onward wait give it a I need to get her giving a uncle Dave night of the uncle sir uncle Dave night of the old farts Okay, old yeah, oh no the retired old fart sorry night of the retired old farts nice He's their leader Russell Gerton I Just had a visual of that bunch of dudes Hey Kim Trails, man. $302.40, Niz Karma, put that at the end for you. Yep. Brian Piesk in Saline, Michigan, 10240. These are our bike guys. 10240, which is 1040. Ah, nice. Okay, bike guys. I don't think he's on the birthday list. Pieski? Yeah. Yeah, he is. 51 April 11th. Yep.

2:33:28 Sir Woody of the Dakotas in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, 102, 40. Christian Schlatter in Unter Siegenthal, I guess in Switzerland. The night, the Bite Night newsletter is just priceless and Zucky looks like a robot. There's a lot of funny stuff in that newsletter. It was a great newsletter. I liked it. I loaded it up with funny material. Yeah, more great album covers. That is such a hit. You are a podcast marketing genius, my friend. I am. That's me. People don't realize it, but this is really what makes the network swirl with value. Kevin McLaughlin in Locust, North Carolina, 10240. Episode 32 squared. He's a Viscount of Luna Sur. He's a Viscount, okay.

2:34:23 Sir Kevin McLaughlin, Sir Patrick Coble, 102.40, he couldn't resist. He's been too long since his last donation. And maybe he wants to come down to Biloxi. Salmon Brown in West Winfield, New York, and that ends our 102.40 well-wishers. Onward with Tim White. Whoops. Tim White comes in with 100 even. Wayne Todd, 100. from Mount Pleasant, Michigan. A lot of Michiganians in here today, or they have some name. It's not Michiganian, it's Mich-something. Michigan is, Michigan is. Michigan is. Shannon Brame in Houston, 9999. Chris Beggio, 7373, 73 is to you? 73. Scriptor Alex in Chicago, Illinois, 6666. He sent a note in that for some reason I made a note of it because there's something funny about it.

2:35:22 Oh no, he sent a bunch of jokes in. He wants me to try to slip into the show. Oh. I will say this. About that. We do have a joke writer we can use for this sort of thing. Is he that good? But I will see if I can get any of these in. It's not going to be easy. He's that good, huh? Our joke writer, Marty Higgins, is. Oh, right. He still writes for you? I wanna see if I ask him. Here, I'm gonna do one of the scriptures jokes. Producer pointed out to me that my growth year in tarot cards is number 11, which means strength and lust. And this was convenient because when I read the note, I was craving pickles for some reason. So I went down to the kitchen and opened up a brand new jar of pickles. So there it is, strength and lust.

2:36:21 Yeah, see what I mean? Yeah. But we welcome him. I think the delivery was pretty off as a joke. Yeah, well I would have I would challenge you to send you the next one you can do it. It's the shores are already rolling over in her grave Dame 17 scar in Sacramento, California 66 sir Stephen McConnell 66 in Cortland, Ohio Kyle my man or mon 64 parts unknown Julie Kay Smith in Coldwater, Michigan She's had a card in She always sends a card in. She's a card sender. Just Julie shows it. Hopefully you notice that my small boobs, which is what her donation was, 6006. She says, hopefully, by the way, this gave me an idea. Hopefully you'll say that my small boobs aren't lopsided. My husband will also get some job karma if it worked for me in my last donation. So we'll put some for him at the end. But I was thinking,

2:37:22 As because she talks about lopsided boobs with women are always work. Yeah, one's a little I mean you can't be robot symmetry. It's you know, but I'm thinking a donation if somebody wants to do this and it should be a woman admitting it 80 oh six You are you are a donation genius I am. 8006. Michigander is the name. Michigander. Yeah. Michigander. Yeah. 8006. That is just a human boob. Human boobs. And we understand this and we're okay with it. You know, we've been around on our first rodeo. Per Ingvarsson.

2:38:08 from Sweden, 5678, says stay unglued. Paul Webb in Twickenham, Middlesex, UK, 5555. Amanda Ross at 5510 from Vernon Rockville, Connecticut. Aaron Lambert, 5433. And the next one, David Corbonu. He's the he sent us the the massive pack wasn't it the yeah crazy stuff Just you know you should publish that as a giblet or something, or I don't know I think I'm gonna talk to him about that. Yeah, I can do about three of these and stick them together I think there's a I mean, that's what is it something you put in the newsletter or no well I can put in the news that's very long I mean, I like to I would love to read it, but it's a little too. No. It's too long It's even even I but it's very good. It's very good. I

2:38:54 Anyway, he came in with $50 and 33 cents. It's almost like it's almost it reads a bit like a movie treatment It reads very well. Yeah, it's very well written. He should be a writer hasn't doesn't he write stuff already Why does it why does that ring a bell with me? Well, he's in advertising. Oh, hello. So he might be a copywriter. Copywriter, yeah. I think he says he's a dude named Ben who works in advertising. Yeah, you know, dudes named Ben write more than writers. Lot of them. Yeah, drew Mochak and El Cerrito down the street here from me These are all $50 donors name and location Robert Bruckner drew Mochak Joseph Barnes who's in Oakland and should probably consider coming to the meetup that we're gonna have eventually Dave from Atlanta or do I miss somebody cuz I'm skipping down. Um, hold on a second. You got Joseph Barnes Yeah, and then that's interesting. I'm getting the same skip. Oh, ah

2:39:54 What is this? Yeah, this is what the hell? Yeah, Emily Emily nofo. Okay. She's number and yeah, okay. Does that make sense? Well, I see him with my day from a day from Atlanta is underneath her so it's Joseph Barnes and then It's Emily nofo. Can you read it or do you want me there? It is. I got it Why are we reading it? What I suppose we read $50. I'm gonna read it. These are the lonely people But don't make a long note like this. Yeah, no, it's too bad. I mean, that's just the deal. We're already running late today. I mean, really late. Yeah, Dave from Atlanta, 50, Robert and Emily. What was her last name? Emily Nolfo. I think she had a call out in there.

2:40:40 But maybe not. Robert Decaney in Fairfax, Virginia. Jason Zeisler. Why don't you read her note while I'm finishing? Jason Zeisler, Brett Yeo in Kentsville, Maryland. Robert Gardner in parts unknown. And last is Kyle Meyer in Atlanta, Georgia. I want to thank all these folks for helping us out on the show. 1024 The Byte Show. The show coming up on Sunday. Let me see. It's a very, very long note, but she's Mariela- She's the girlfriend of Colin Cunningham. Colin Cunningham, the deaf, dumb, blind knight. Right. He sure knows a mean pinball. Alright. We'll read this and then be a realist. Yeah, I mean, this is a lot to digest right there.

2:41:23 Okay, well Thank you all very much. Thank you to our bite contributors and everybody who came in under $50 that is usually for reasons of anonymity, but there's a lot of subscriptions and thank you very much for Yeah, valuing what we're doing. I think I'm having fun today if you're having fun think about us that way you having fun John I'm having the time of my life. Jobs, jobs, jobs and jobs. Let's vote for jobs! You've got karma. Here's your list for today. Matthew Zamar celebrates today. Happy birthday. Michael Robinson says happy birthday to Mark Beacham of Melbourne. He'll be celebrating his birthday tomorrow.

2:42:18 the day after on the 14th Patrick Daly celebrates James Pyers says happy birthday to his son EJ he'll be 14 today and Ryan Piskey 51 Piskey or Piskey 51 turned that yesterday we say happy birthday for everybody here at the best podcast in the universe and we've got a title change And we thank you very much Sir Uncle Dave, who now changes his title to become Sir Uncle Dave, Knight of the Retired Old Farts. Thank you for your courage, sir. One knighting to do, John, so if you... Oh, here's my sword. You got it right here. I see it. More spiffy with this one today. Richard McCutcheonson, come on up!

2:43:10 Next to the electorate here on the podium, thank you very much for contributing to the No Agenda Show in the amount of $1,000 that places you squarely at the round table with all of our knights and dames. And I am very proud to pronounce to Kate the Sir Mack, a digital knight of Mead, and for you by request. We have Dr. Pepper in a quick handy, boobs and stinky tofu, cold brew, coffee and cannabis. We've got bourbon and bong rips, trophies and tires, smoked onion rings and ice cream. We've got harlots and haldol, we've got cowgirls and coffin barners. We got some breast milk and pabla, ginger ale and gerbils and mutton and mead. NoahJennaNation.com slash rings. Please give Eric the shill all of your information and he will get that off to you as soon as possible. Okay.

2:43:58 Wow, it's been quite a lot of topics today. Yeah, well Zuck took up a lot of time. Yeah. All right. Are you in a hurry? Yeah, I'm always in a hurry Okay, got things to do people to see babies to kiss press press some flesh got it This is a little bit of an algo story with just to lighten the mood somewhat confirming what I'd heard from the former New York banker from Bloomberg regarding the pricing policy, Uber's new pricing policy. I haven't taken an Uber in a while, but I remember the last time I did, it told me how much it was going to cost right up front. I'm like, oh, well, I'm not going to take the Luke, so why don't I just take the other one? Because it's the same car.

2:44:42 You know, I figured that much out. The difference between their black or their lux or whatever is exactly the same car, but the driver may have a minimum 4.5 rating or some crap like that. So I'll take my risks. Here's a Bloomberg report on it. Uber rolled out upfront pricing for passengers where they just told passengers, you're going to pay this. But drivers were still being told and the public was still being told it was routed in the same calculation, time and distance. And what we've learned is that Uber is now doing something else. It's time and distance, and then sort of a route's propensity to pay. Basically, people traveling from point A to point B, we'll run experiments and see how much we think they're going to pay at a given time of day, and then we'll charge them that. And then Uber pockets the extra money that it makes, sometimes reinvesting into driver bonuses or incentives to riders, but they make that extra money instead of passing it on to drivers.

2:45:36 How does Uber decide whether to charge more on a particular route? I mean, they're using machine learning algorithms, sort of predictive technology to try and figure out, okay, if we charge a little bit more for UberX, our sort of peer-to-peer service, and a little bit less for UberPool, from here to there, is that optimizing for our income and for usage? So basically, they're running all these experiments tied to geographies, tied in a time of day to say people traveling from this place to that place, how much are they willing to pay? And then based on those experiments set the price. There's a business model for you. Gee, sounds like a nightmare. Yeah, I like kind of like that lib Joe. You know, he's like, Oh, the drivers are getting screwed. I forget about the drivers. How about the customers?

2:46:28 Yeah, I was like, oh, wait a minute, oh, it's curry. Yeah, they could jack your individual prices up on the individuals, sure. But the thing is, as a consumer of this product, until I was told, I really didn't think about it. I really, it just didn't even cross my mind. Like, oh, that's just the cost, you know, I figure it's per mile, you know, the typical, but no, it's not per mile, they're just like, oh, he'll pay this much. That's pretty novel. Yes. All right, well let's see what else we got. Pot sales in California aren't what they expected. Oh, you're doing a little clip blitz on me I guess.

2:47:16 have not bought as much marijuana as expected since the drug became legal. The Sacramento Bee reports retailers racked up $339 million in sales in January and February, but that's about $44 million less than analysts had expected. The figures were provided by a Colorado company called BDS Analytics. The state is expected to provide its own sales figures by the middle of next month. Well, 333 for two months, and well, they just got started. It's gonna go up. It'll probably be close to 400 million every couple months, which amounts to a lot. 400 times 6 is $2.4 billion.

2:48:05 So, you know, they get some tax money out of that. These other states have to be looking at that. California, you know, I don't know what they're gonna do with this tax money besides, you know, putting people's pockets, but... Right. That sounds reasonable. I'm going to see if there's anything. I guess the big story that, well, we're hearing it here in, I didn't really do a full EU report, but I can still do that on Sunday. But this is, I'm sure everyone knows about the story in the US now as well. We're aware that over the last three months and in particular in the last several days, we've had an unusual spike in horrible homicides. ghastly events that have taken people's lives and devastated other people's lives. We clearly, as a city,

2:48:49 have a big problem now. It's only affecting a small proportion of the city, but it is a horrible problem and it has devastated lives in the last few months. So looking forward, we all need to work together and from our part we need to up our efforts and that's exactly what we're doing. And this is all about the knife crime in the UK. Yeah, and they have a higher death rate than Detroit in London? Yeah, it's incredible. And first of all, they're banning the British equivalent of the assault rifle, which is the zombie knife.

2:49:27 Which I immediately when the story broke ordered one on Amazon And I know it was delivered because I got the notification because they'll be off Amazon soon enough What is it? Ah you gotta you gotta Google a being it I mean whoo. Sorry. I'm I gotta get I'm sorry I'm messed up go to the EU next thing. You know you're saying Google it yeah hold on a second I got a I got a de Google fuck de Google find myself. What's the what was the name of zombie zombie knife? Yeah zombie knife. Yeah, what are they good for they're good steak knife? Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna see you know that's the whole song I got to have I got to start the music no way. I just want the jingle

2:50:14 Geez, how about this one? What are zombie knives are the street blaze band in the UK and I've got the images up and it looks as though there's two or three kinds of these looks like a company There's a there's a stiletto and there's a one that looks like an axe. Yeah, that's that I kind of got one of those all curvy Yeah, that with the curve looks like a cling-on knife yeah, yeah, yeah, that's I got something there's a big scholar of choices and There's a whole crap load of these things. They're all different looking. So which one did you get? Well, now I would have to look up the... You want me to look it up? Well, I'm kind of interested. Many of these are just nerd knives. I can look it up on my... I like the one that says saw blade. Let me see. Well, what I did was I got the one that most accurately represented the British press, their interpretation of the zombie knife.

2:51:14 So okay here we go. Ah oh my goodness. It's a good one. Okay look for the Z hunter Zulu as in Zulu Zulu hunter ZB 020 as in Zebra Bravo 0 to 0 zombie killer machete two-tone full tang blade green cord wrapped handle 23 and 3 quarter inch overall And now is this the one I said this is the one I think I've got it. Yeah, the Z hunter. Yeah, it's got a Little thing at the end. It could be a steak knife. No, there's a little thing Yeah, well, it's a little big it's got the serrated edge. It's got the the hook. It's got the head slicer Yeah, it's got everything you need to kill a zombie. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I would put it I think it's a wall decoration I think but it's I think it's a collectible

2:52:12 Well, you know there's a lot of guys, usually fat guys, and many of them from Texas, who collect knives. Hmm, I better start eating. Yeah, okay. I'm glad you bought that. It sounds like a good use of your money. How much did it cost? It was very cheap. I just closed the window. Like 20 bucks or something. It's not that expensive. It's a ridiculous deal. I think you get a bunch of these and just a whole bunch of them and use them as steak knives. It is a little long. Why don't we just use them as night instead of night rings? That's funny. Yeah, that's a thought.

2:52:53 Yeah, well still thinking about that. They'll be bringing him to meetups and stuff now not a good idea. Yeah, I'd be starting yeah There's already enough hardware at the meetups So I picked up this little mini clip, which I think is a classic. I don't know why, this is another thing reporters are doing nowadays. They're putting their, you know, they're like correspondents from the White House or they're from somewhere and they do these field reports and they can't get anybody to say anything to them. So they decide to put stuff on that's really just them yelling at the guy. And you see this also at some of these,

2:53:32 press conferences where they have a camera on the reporter asking a question. But let's listen to this. This is Mr. Manafort. Did you commit a crime? Mr. Manafort, did you commit a crime? Any reaction, Mr. Manafort? Good morning. Good morning. Mr. Manafort, did you collude with Russians? Oh, sorry. That's wrong one. Where'd it go? Oh, man. Where's my anti-collusion? Ah! Damn it. Well too bad. I got also this I had Kamala Harris was on Ellen's show and she said something that she thought was funny about killing people in an elevator I'm sorry did I blow your clip? No? No go ahead play it because I I thought this has been all over the news here I guess because Ellen is funny. This is Ellen is she's funny. They find her very funny. They find her very endearing here and

2:54:32 Oh, she's endearing, that's for sure. That kind of reminds me, I do have... not a funny clip at all actually, but let me see, where did I put that? It was Loretta Lynch? Did you see her interview with... what's his face, Lester? No, I didn't. I didn't see it, no. Ah! This was about, you know, she's kind of refuting that she told Comey to call, not to call the Clinton investigation an investigation, but to call it a matter.

2:55:12 Have you heard about this? Which is Comey's testimony? Yeah, he said she told me, call it a matter, not an investigation. And I was like, whoa, you know, that's kind of weird. I'm paraphrasing. This was Lester Holt, I think it was on the Today Show maybe. And here he asked the question. James Comey was testifying before Congress, I think it was June of last year. And he noted that you had asked him to call the Clinton probe. matter not an investigation but he said it made him feel I'm paraphrasing made him feel strange he noted it what did you mean when you said let's call it a matter or not an investigation well you know I heard about that testimony I didn't watch it at the time but I did it was brought to my attention later and people were raising it with me and my first response was what you know what

2:55:59 But where, what is the issue here? You know, I remember specifically talking with him as we talked about sensitive things on a number of occasions. You know, we often would have to discuss sensitive matters, sensitive issues, terrorism and the like, you know, law enforcement policy and the like. And this was a very sensitive investigation, as everyone knew. And the issue when he and I sat down at that time, which I think was early in the fall of 2015 was whether or not we were ready as a department to confirm an investigation going on when we typically do not confirm or deny investigations into anything with rare exceptions. But Sokomi says you want to call

2:56:40 of the Clinton matter, he once called the Clinton investigation. To the extent though that he noted it, that it bothered him, did he go to you and question your credibility with regard to the Clinton case? Well, look, I can tell you that it was a meeting like any other that we had had where we talked about the issues. We had a full and open discussion about it. He didn't raise any concerns about it? And concerns were not raised. Uh-huh. Her eyebrows... Yeah, she's a liar. Yeah. First of all, the big lie is that she didn't watch it at the time. Right. Oh, I was doing something else. Really? Yeah. I had something better to do. Yeah. She was glued to it, let's face it. Why wouldn't she be? Yeah. All right, what else?

2:57:24 I got a, this is a short cut. This is not a Eliza Schlesinger, but this is another comic that was just floating around. Somebody just linked me to it. I don't know who she is, but listen to this is the joke that I keep bringing up, which is at all. She says it in here, the sexual harassment hall pass. I'll be like, if a woman walks by, can I even say she looks nice? And man, this is how you can not get accused of sexual harassment. It works almost all the time. Man, all you have to do is be hot. I saw this with Tina. She laughed. Yeah. All you have to do is be hot. You want to not get sexually charged as a sexual harassment, just be hot.

2:58:13 Oh man, that's priceless. All right, you want to wrap it up here? Well, let me get another couple of these shorties here. All righty. We have an insane homeless guy can run that to the next show because it's pretty funny. Oh, come on You've you've whetted my whetted my appetite But the insane guy well, let's do a local stories But here's the one that's got all of everybody's attention, which is the little house and Glenn Down in Willow Glen, San Jose area the $800,000 tear down. Yeah New at 10, a burned out home in San Jose's Willow Glen neighborhood is selling for, get this, $800,000. It's another sign of just how out of whack Bay Area housing prices have become. Yeah, KTVU's Azenith Smith is at the home on Byrd Avenue. Azenith, the realtor says for some homebuyers,

2:59:06 This actually might be considered a bargain? Seriously? Yeah, Frank and Heather, the realtor tells me that a bidding war may even happen. It's obvious when you see this house it needs to be remodeled, possibly torn down, demolished. The realtor tells me the asking price is reasonable given the housing market and its location. So this thing is a burned-out Hulk. I've seen it. Oh, you see? I think it's a national story. Yeah, I saw it. But I mean, look, I can't call you my friend because you don't have Facebook, but I really should recommend you think about getting out at the top of the market. You know, your place has got to be worth some bucks. And if you, you know, and it's a teardown, let's face it.

3:00:02 Yeah, with all that stuff you got in there not and you're gonna clean that just tear it all down dispose of everything but who cares? Yeah, move the Wyoming show really be so much better if I do that Washington Washington Okay I'm trying to see what else I got here. There's a couple of this. You know, one story, we do have to do this story and then we can quit. All right. And I do, I think I have the lead in the, you know, Trump's lawyer's office was raided. Yes. Yes. This is really odd.

3:00:38 Very odd, and I have first the introductory clip which is CNN which is raiding the lawyer's office. You can play that. We have breaking news just in the New York Times just reported that the FBI today raided the offices of President Trump's longtime attorney Michael Cohen seizing records related to multiple topics including on that payment to adult film actress Stormy Daniels alleged hush money. The New York Times also reporting that the FBI also seized emails, tax documents and business records and that the records include communications between Michael Cohen, the president's attorney, and President Trump.

3:01:18 which would likely require a special team of agents to review because conversations with lawyers and clients are protected in most instances. This is a breaking news story. My panel is here with me to discuss the breaking news and react. And let me start with you, Bill Crystal, the fact that the FBI apparently with a referral from Bob Mueller, the special counsel, is raiding Michael Cohen's office. This seems rather significant. And I assume they would need a warrant to do that, which means the judge would have had to have found, and I'm not a lawyer so don't hold me to this, but some reasonable reason to do this. The FBI can't just go raid offices on its own. So that's interesting what a judge found, that there was some reason to take a look at these records in Cohen's office. Yeah. What was the reason?

3:02:05 Well, I think I found the reason. Okay. Even though everyone's all bent out of shape about this, it seems as if Mueller decided that there was a crime committed. And he had to report it, so he gave it over to the FBI and then they busted in and got it. And here is the only rationale I think that actually makes sense as opposed to, oh, they're just doing a fishing expedition to try and get the goods on Trump. I don't think it has anything to do with Trump. I think it's a situation where Mueller, as a law enforcement officer, had to report This particular crime and it's kind of a joke what this crime is, but it's why bust the lawyer one theory It's still unclear what the FBI was looking for bank fraud regarding the payment to Stormy Daniels has been suggested Sources tell Fox News Cohen paid Daniels from an existing home equity

3:02:53 line of credit and that he didn't need to tell the bank what the money was for. The $130,000 was then transferred to an LLC solely owned by Cohen and from there wired to an attorney in Beverly Hills. Wire fraud. President Trump denies any knowledge of the transaction. Wire fraud? Well I think wire fraud may be in part of it but I think the main thing is bank fraud. Oh man, what an idiot. Because he took out a loan, a home equity loan, which you only do to improve your property or... Generally speaking, and maybe you could take it out for any old reason, that's what he claims, or then wire fraud may be a fallback. But it's something like that. It's got nothing to do with Trump or the Russians. And there's probably some tax implications somewhere along the line with the LLC in the middle. You can't just pass that off. The guy's shrewd. He should have just shut up. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you... You know, he was going on, oh, I got the money, I did it, and Trump had nothing to do with it. Why didn't he just shut up? Yeah. He's a lawyer, he knows better. Yeah, well, he's not a good lawyer.

3:03:53 Well, not if you can't shut up. But that's concerning. This is the people the president surrounds himself with. These are morons. Well, maybe you got an upgrade here or there. Well, I would be remiss without telling you what the American public is not only really interested in, but they're excited. And, you know, apparently Stormy also says she's talking with federal investigators as well. And she's also coming to see and talk with us on Tuesday for her first live interview. Yes! Yes, Stormi! Oh, she saved us! She's the orange monster! Oh, many, many, many, many things. Well, first of all, Stormi's not her name. And I kind of prefer PBS because they use her name, which I don't even have off the top of my head.

3:04:51 Because that's you know it seems to me that you should keep using her stage name. That's just promotion for her Yeah, but they do that with actors to have a stripper I mean ladies and gentlemen give it up for Bobby Zimmerman come on. You know well if there's in the news Didn't he change his name of legally to Bob Dylan um yeah, but then I'm not sure about that She's Stephanie Clifford there you go, okay? Okay, well done Wow way over time way over time wow well you know you know what the biggest problem is you can't stop the machine no I can see no that's not it just keeps recording now we never exited executive mode but I'll do that at the very end ah yeah we got it I got ya know we're just douchebags the whole time executive douchebags kind of something like that yeah yeah okay well that's fine all right everybody this was your bi-weekly media deconstruction

3:05:55 And you know stormy Daniels is they got it her heights 5 7 yeah, and apparently her weight is 2010 pounds Who says that oh, I'm sorry Fine coming to you from the garden of Amsterdam here in Gitmo nation lowlands where maybe you'll still figure out how to do the meetup and Remember us for our coming show. John will be in Biloxi, I'll still be here. That will be on Sunday. Until then, I'm Adam Curry. And I'm from Northern Silicon Valley where there's still kung fu fighting. I'm John C. Dvorak. We will speak to you again on Sunday right here at No Agenda. And really until then, in the morning, remember us at Dvorak.org and adios, mofos! I need a cab. Cab. Here's one. Taxi!

3:06:53 That's A! everyone who's here and they submit their food request form shit, I don't agree with it according to the school of urban law we proceed to fill the order so there's extremely dangerous um, purity in college soon after taking the city of Mosul they announced on the loudspeaker the speakers of Mosul Stormy has addressed insults really sorry for that and since on this election they are big and they are deep

3:08:06 Trusting the manipulated people of color, half-big Americans, at his heart, were undercount, were not counted. We personally, the fact that people would not seek or weather, pay utilities. Roll up, roll up for the magical shapeshifting Jews. Step right this way. Roll up, roll up for the shapeshifting Jews. Roll up, roll up for the magical shapeshifting Jews. It's an illustration of the magical shapeshifting Jews.

3:08:43 He's such an aggravation The magical shapeshifting juice In a railway station Got no ticket for no destination And he turned at the green market To a man before it starts And all I have's this shopping cart And a master's in the liberal arts Home thus found I wish I was

3:09:21 Where the junkies biking home, crazies fighting home Where my tent lies in the park amongst the trees But each day they forget it seems about biological humans I don't think they've thought through the plan Caused with the public toilet man You don't think of the garbage man And take a crap where you can

3:09:59 Homeless bound, wish I weren't Homeless bound, home Where the junkies barking, where the crazies fighting We're not ten miles in the park amongst the trees Tonight I'll sleep in the underpass amongst used syringes and broken glass I'll dream of a lifeless stark, work fourteen hours at a techno park, walk for miles after dark to my trailer behind Walmart. Homeless, though I wish I were a junkie spiking home, where the crazy's fighting home, where my ten flies fuck across the trees. Oh, come and oh, we'll flee.

3:11:16 We need a jingle or something that goes, entering executive mode. Now entering executive mode. Now entering executive mode. For when we talk about how hot chicks are on TV. Is that what you mean? Yeah, because we don't really normally talk that way, except when we're in executive mode and what we're doing in reality is ridiculing the people that talk that way. Yes. At the same time, being very frightening and showing how good we are at it. We could be, but we are executives of our own show. Here is a follow-on question. This is about how it really came down, or it went down, what happened first, and the inventory of lost items. I cut most of Schafer's out. And she looks, I have to say this, because I'm not, I don't like to criticize people's...

3:12:19 People's appearance. Oh, come on. This is television. Hold on. Now entering executive mode. It's kind of a feeling about the way somebody presents themselves. Now entering executive mode. And now I'm talking about Gestalt. She's almost a dead ringer for Bill Gates. Time in executive mode has expired. Please make your way to the exits. The best podcast in the universe!