Lost Your Job? Eat More Fiber

00:01 Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak, serving the fine upstanding citizens of Gitmo Nation from sea to shining sea. It's Sunday, April 19th, 2009. This is no agenda. Coming to you from the Command Line Crackpot Command Center, located in the southwest quadrant of London in Gitmo Nation East. I'm Adam Curry. And I am the DOS-based unit from Northern California. I'm John C. Dvorak. It's Crackpot and Boss Kill! In the morning! Heh heh heh. That stunk. Yeah, well that was alright. It was different. So, what's the, uh, we didn't tweet, uh, Twitter our fanbase, did we? Oh crap, no we did not. Let me just do it now. Uh, no agenda... is now live. Heh heh heh.

00:52 Noagendastream.com. Sorry about my tardiness, by the way. Yeah? Yes. I've come to the harsh conclusion that my family, my wife certainly does not give a crap about this show. Oh, well why would she? She's making like a fortune as a television star at the moment. Well that's exactly the point. You're just a schmuck doing the show that's kind of nutty. Exactly, that's my point. So the minute she's big and happening, then all of a sudden nothing else counts.

01:31 Well that's the way it is with celebrity couples. Wow. Maybe. Then I need to get myself a girlfriend, maybe. Is that what celebrity couples do? I got to adopt a child from Africa. Isn't that how we get rid of our trouble? The thing to do is you got to let me come over there and take some candid photos and then I can sell them and we can put them and give them money to this show. Oh really? That's the way we're gonna do it, huh? That'll get us our income. They're really, those pictures, they really don't sell for a lot, none of us, in Holland. The market's too small. That's too bad. Yeah, it's not big now, but you know, it's like, it's the same two weeks ago. I was like, I gotta go pick up the heavy stuff at Sainsbury's, which is like, you know, heavy stuff, bottles and whatever crap.

02:18 And I said, well, as long as I can be back by four, we can do it any time before that. And you know, it's like, she just leaves at 3.30. Doesn't care. I said, don't you care? Yeah, I care. No, you don't care! Well, what do you want for free? So it's, this time it was my fault and my apologies, obviously. Well, it's going to be next Sunday that's more challenging. Yeah, because you're going to be in Amsterdam for the Queen's Day festivities. Yes. And is that actually Sunday, the 30th? No, I think the 30th. I don't know when the 30th is. Let's see, the 30th is Thursday. Queen's Day invites a lot of ridicule from the San Franciscans, I'm sure. But it's actually about the Queen of... Americans know, by the way, Queen's Day, the 30th, looks like it'll be on Thursday.

03:12 That's not actually her birthday, by the way. Well, I was just gonna say, I don't think most Americans even know that there's a queen. Well, she's a part of the Uberlords that are controlling us, so... It's easy for you to say. Yeah, really. You might as well make some acquaintance with her. Oh yeah. Is she roaming around on Queens Day? Nah. Yeah, she does like one, she'll do an appearance somewhere at some dorky village and all the kids come out with their, with a national color which of course is orange, about the ugliest color you can imagine to be national. Well that's interesting because I have a, I should bring my hoodie that I got from Findlay University which won the men's Division II basketball championship this year

04:01 and I should get that and wear it because it's really orange. Yeah, anything orange will do. I have an orange shirt. I'll just bring my orange shirt. Yeah. And the slogan is Oranje Boven, which means orange up, which I believe stems from the Second World War. That was kind of the resistance motto. is, uh, Orange Will Always Come Up. It sounds kinda like a puke story when you say it that way, but... Orange is, uh... Orange is the color. The House of Orange, from Willem of Orange.

04:44 It actually was interesting, they had a Dutch day, they had a Queen's Day in London yesterday in, I'm going to say, Trafalgar Square. And there were little market stalls, people selling Dutch cheese, selling Dutch pancakes, there were some Dutch bands playing music and of course a ton of Dutch people. And the kids actually went and they brought back some cheese and they said it was pretty cool. That the whole Dutch community in London gets together and celebrates a week before the actual Queen's Day festivities in the hinterland. Huh. Well there's a lot of Dutch in the US, maybe we should do something like that here. I'm sure they do. I'm sure there is some kind of Queen's, probably in Pennsylvania. Seems to be a lot of Dutch people there. Yeah, but they're, yeah, that's true. It's in Dutch Pennsylvania. And...

05:40 I mean New York too, it used to be Amsterdam. I'm bummed about it because this is how stupid is it that you're coming this side of the Gitmo nation and two days earlier I travel to the west side of Gitmo nation or the yeah the west side. That's the way we can keep our world perspective. So you're gonna have to give me the world perspective from your drunken slumber in Amsterdam. I don't drink. So the problem The problem is not so much Sunday, the problem is gonna be Thursday. That's the problem, because that's Queens Day itself. So I think we do it on Friday, and then we can either do a show on Sunday, or we could move that up one day to Monday. When are you coming back? I have that somewhere written down, actually. I'm coming back on Saturday. Yeah, the week after, though. Oh, the Saturday after Queens Day? Uh, yeah. Then we'll figure it out, won't we? Yeah, I'm a Saturday to Saturday trip. Yeah.

06:40 But we'll have a regular Thursday this coming Thursday. And I'm going to Miniature World. Ah, Maduro Dam! Well, whatever. Is that all set up? Are you good to go? You got your tickets? Boy oh boy, John, you're gonna enjoy a little Maduro Dam, my friend. Well, I saw it once on a travel thing recently, like about a year ago. And I was in Amsterdam, no I guess it was two years ago because I was in Amsterdam a couple years ago and I wanted to go there but it was like it's inconvenient if you just have a URail pass because I guess it's out in the middle of nowhere. So I never made it there. But I've always wanted to go there because when I saw this travel license, it's actually I think it's mostly for kids.

07:26 But it reminds me of a grand version of what's in Victoria, BC. I would recommend this to people, by the way, as a tourist attraction. They have a miniature world in Victoria, BC, but it's indoors and it's a museum. Oh, this one's outside. Majuro Dam is all the weather proof. Yeah, I know the difference. I saw the... I mean, that's what drew me to it, because it looks like a photographer's dream come true for just weird pictures. and yeah, in this one you get to walk right through like these cities, you know, and they're all miniature, you look like a monster. Yeah, that's how it was sold to me as a kid too, John. It's gonna be really cool, kids, you'll be like a monster! Yeah. Excellent. So you think it's not worth going to? Is that what you're saying? No, I definitely think you should go. I think that's a fine idea. Take many, many pictures. And Twitter them while you're at it.

08:21 And so anyway, I do recommend this little museum of miniatures in Victoria, British Columbia. It's actually worth going to. We've gone to it a couple times. So the Dutch are in the picture momentarily as former mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani, is outraged at the Dutch. No, yes as a Program we didn't talk about this. I think was on a week and a half or two weeks ago called devil's advocate direct translation of the show title and the devil's advocate is essentially looking at big issues from you know the side of the devil and then making decisions in a mock court and the the issue at hand was

09:10 Where's this show air? It airs only in the Netherlands of course. The issue at hand was, was there enough proof that Osama Bin Laden was behind the 9-11 attacks in New York and Washington? And so this is a live jury and they have prosecutors and defense etc. but it's a mock trial obviously and the jury which was made up of regular Dutch folks said, no not enough evidence and Giuliani is outraged Whereas of course... Did Bin Laden ever come out and say he did it? Well not even that, but the FBI does not have him listed on their 10 most wanted list for... or any wanted list for the 9-11 attacks. They have him on the list for being an accomplice in the World Trade Center bombing, but they... the FBI said repeatedly, and this has been underreported of course, but it's quite official, FBI says, you know, we can't put him on the 10 most wanted list because there's no proof that he did it.

10:16 So then why is Giuliani all bent out of shape? Because he's a part of the game. We have to believe. But what's the point of being bent out of shape at all? Why doesn't it just like let it slide? Does he have to be in a hoop? Sorry, well, no. I'm sorry. You need like buttons, you know. I know, I have buttons. That's the whole problem. It's just I have everything all set up now in a... Are they big giant buttons that you can pound at the drop of a hat? They're big enough. It's just they're in a new order. So the one I wanted was... Look over here. Nothing to see here. I got a couple more that were sent to me, so that's why. No, I got a nice little controller, man. I got a keypad and with colored buttons. And corresponding on my screen are the drops and jingles with colors and positions, so I should be able to do it. So, no, Giuliani, I have to translate backwards now.

11:13 Oh, he's saying this is not only is this... Wait, wait, do you have to translate backwards because it's a show about the devil and everything goes backwards? Yes. It's fun to smoke marijuana. No, it's because it's in Dutch and of course Giuliani responded in English I'm sure. So now I'm translating back into something that might sound like him. It's a bizarre and unfounded judgment And I think that it will not mean much to most sane people thinking, except for, sane thinking people, except for those of course who love conspiracy theories. Well that's us. Yeah exactly! So we love it when you do that Rudy. We love it. Of course the EU claims now that there were over 500

12:05 terrorist preparation attacks in 2008 that they thwarted. 500 of them, count them! If that was true, they'd be in the news more. Of course, it's total crap. Total, total crap. And where are the arrests? Which arrests? Well, there's no arrests. Well, there's no arrests? How would they... Wait a minute, let me get this straight. There's a terrorist plot afoot. you figure it out and then you stop it and then you don't arrest anybody and then you don't arrest anybody. Well they might arrest people but you know they were trying to keep cool and calm and not to alert

12:46 Well, before they, in fact when they had all those sweeps here in the United States, they were arresting people left and right and making a big scene about it. They arrested some guy who used to work for Intel up in Oregon, and then, you know, because he went and visited, you know, some madrasa or something like that. And then they arrested those guys up in New England, they got some guys in Virginia, and they arrested some people in the middle of the state of California for, I don't know what day, they were just plotting. They weren't even, you putting anything in play and they were arrested and it was a big deal so what changed that made us stop publicizing the arrests if this is true? Well I don't think... Where's the logic here? I'm not getting it. Well the logic... Is the news media just dropping the ball and they refuse to report what they're told to report? Is that what you're saying?

13:29 No, I think it's a combination. On top of everything, this is an EU report coming out of the European Union and they just want to say, hey, we're doing a good job. And so you scratch your head and you say 500. I heard of maybe two, one of which is still responsible for us not being allowed to carry more than 100 milliliters of liquids on the plane because these guys were supposed to be blowing them up with liquids. No, it's just a part of the show. I mean, as Simon Cowell continues to produce the show world that we live in, that we believe is reality, sometimes he lets it slip, you know? It's a hard job. It's not easy producing this big show. If there are 500 incidents that should have been reported... Well, then the media is lame.

14:15 Well, somebody's lame. This is bogus. You can't say there's 500 things we thwarted and then they don't tell us what they are, when they were, who did them or anything in between. What kind of thing is that? What is that bull? Well, they categorized them. You should fire the people who claim this. They categorized them. Well, it's the EU themselves. Let me see if I can find it. They categorized these 500. I think it was 515 total. So this is Europol. They say they counted a total of 515 terrorist attacks carried out or planned in the Union in 2008. This is like jobs saved. Yes, saved or created or saved. The threat to EU member states of Islamist as well as ethno-nationalist and separatist terrorism remains high. Deputy Director of Europe. Now included the separatist terrorists. What is that? Well first of all they're saying ethno-nationalist. Ethno. So that could be shit that would be me here I guess.

15:17 Am I not an ethno-terrorist? I'm sorry, an ethno-nationalist? What is that, an ethno-nationalist? I can't even say it. I think what it means is that you're somebody that's within a region that would like to split off into two countries, like Canadians, Quebecois, and probably the Irish. So, despite the dominance of nationalist and separatist groups in the EU... Oh, but also the Basques. How about the Armenians? Maybe. Yeah. Mr. Simankas said Islamist terrorism considered to be the greatest threat at the global level. Can you believe what these guys are saying? I mean, please, just say Arabs. Just get them all in there while you're at it.

16:03 A major concern in Europe with Islamist terror cells remaining active within the EU. One attack by this type of group was perpetrated in 2008 with only the terrorists dying at a restaurant in Britain when the bomb exploded too early. I didn't even know about that one. You'd think you would. And he died in a restaurant? Many other attempts were foiled. citing examples in Germany and Italy and 187 arrests in France, Britain and Spain. 187 arrests? Where were these arrests? Amazing. Yeah, you'd think that they'd be getting some publicity here. That's amazing. I mean, they were getting publicity for every two-bit arrest that they were making a few years ago. Now we hear nothing? We're still at the top of the list? Why is it being suppressed that this is true? It's just not true then.

16:57 I'll tell you what is getting out of control because every day there's a new report about border patrol abuse within the United States. Did you see the video we have on the blog? Was it about the pastor? It was about the guy that would get like a hundred miles inland border patrol, you know, they feel that there's a... Yeah, but that happens in all the cases. But there's two cases that I saw in the past few days. One was a pastor who was beaten on the head, beaten, a pastor. And the other one was a guy and he's filming the whole thing and the border patrol agent pulls out a pair of nunchucks. Yeah, can you believe that he like flashes his nunchucks at the guy and then the guy you know, you know He's like I've got the Constitution in my knapsack wrong guy to flash your nunchucks at you threaten me by brandishing a weapon Oh, man, just goes on and on and on and on. What was the one that you had on the on the blog? I have to go look at it. It's a one among many but this but this just keeps it's just a guy, you know reading them to riot action. I

17:58 It just keeps on happening though. And this is completely unconstitutional and illegal. Where is the lawyers? Where are the lawyers that are so, you know, that are adept at... The lawyers are running the White House, my friend. And why is the White House not doing something? This is idiotic. You know, who's telling these guys to go out and do this stuff? And then of course we have this Napolitano, whoever, whoever, whatever her name is. Yeah. She's being targeted by the right-wing talk show people as a bad person trying to get her fired. Because she's made it so that if you have any right-wing ideology, in other words, if you believe anything out of a huge laundry list from

18:45 being anti-abortion to thinking Ron Paul's a good guy. You are, you know, up for being on the terrorist watch list. Yeah. Well, they're trying to downplay that here and there, but this is what gets me. It's like, everyone, people push back on something. Oh, okay, don't worry, we'll change that. We'll fix that for you. And then nothing changes, nothing gets fixed and it just keeps on moving. And you know, it's like, do you even hear about the deficit anymore? I mean, that's like, you know, you just don't hear about this stuff anymore. It's news for about a week and then it goes away and we're all just happy little suckers. Yeah, well, that's just the way it goes. We got a nice review once again. Oh yeah? For who?

19:39 I think his name is James... either it's Cool or Cola, I'm not sure. And he actually had quite a thoughtful review. And he... the title of the blog post is, The Real Daily Show, Not More of the Same. Which I thought was quite a compliment there. And... goes in to a really comparison between the Daily Show and No Agenda, and of course, otherwise, why bother with reading the review? We come out on top smelling like a rose. But no, it's good. He recalls our discussion about the pirates and says, of course, we always drop in the real news about Madonna adopting a baby.

20:31 Yeah, it's good. It was very, very nice. Yeah, the one that we have, by the way, the video we have is the Nunchucks one. It is the Nunchucks one, yeah. Yeah. There's a couple others I'd like to get on here too. These guys are, you know, people... I realize, you know, that E71 phone I have has a couple interesting features. And it does seem to have a limitless recording capability. I told you. Yeah, just as long as you got the... So you start the recording and you drop the thing in your vest pocket or your pocket in your shirt because the thing is so light it doesn't even drag your shirt down. And you can pretty much record anything. You know what I saw on the plane, the in-flight magazine on EasyJet when we came back from Portugal, and of course I wasn't one of the selected flights which had this item available.

21:16 was a pen. You put the pen in your pocket and it's actually a miniature camera. And so you can pretty much aim it, angle it, because the lens is right on the clip there, right above the clip. And it records it. I think there's a 2MB memory chip inside and then you just unscrew the backing, plug it right into USB and you can drag the video off. 2GB, yeah, 2GB, I'm sorry. I need that. That's really cool. That would be cool for you especially since you're you know yeah, but I'm confrontational You mean because I stand up for my rights Because I don't take shit from people. I'm confrontational you sound like a border patrol agent mr.. Dvorak, maybe

22:05 I think that you know I think I've decided that what we've got from Neapolitan or whatever the heck your name is. Neapolitano? I don't know. So I think is that once you gave us the list there of this you know you can't be anti-abortion, you can't care about what Mexicans crossing the border, and you can't care about NAFTA. You can't use Linux with a black screen with white prompts. You can't do all these different things. That was not meant for anybody, but it was marching orders for the public. Well, and there's a lot of that, and this is probably a good time to get into the one bit of agenda we have for today's NOAH agenda. Was it your son who sent that email that you forwarded to me? About the pirates? Now which son is this? Yeah, he says he also followed up with a bunch of other stuff. Which son is this? This wasn't Eric.

22:56 No, no, this is John. He's the one at Evergreen. Well, how old is John? 22, I think. You think? You got so many kids you don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There's crappy kids. I don't know what their fucking birthdays are. I don't care. Maybe he's 23. I know what year he was... I know the year everyone was born because each one has a... like Eric is, you know, vintage... Okay, John, let's go. How old is Eric? Eric is... he was born in 77. How old is he? Come on, don't you think he just doesn't roll off your tongue? About 32 I guess. 32, okay. And then we have John Jr. Well, it's not Junior because he's got a different middle name. Okay. So he made that point. And he's 22. He was born in 85. So he's 24. Geez, he's 24. Or he's going to be 24 this year. He's 23.

23:50 I'm so big you better. I just remember the Tease you and those buttons you're hitting the wrong one. No. I like that one. I just remember the Little ity-bity that one yeah, yeah Just remember the years they were born. I don't sit around calculating it. Oh god now. They're this age You know I don't care so he sent a very thoughtful email About the pirate situation and which really is a media story more than anything, but there was some conclusions to be Wait a minute Then the machine hung it up

24:37 Huh. You've reached John C. DeVore, actor in the broadcast of No Agenda. Please leave your mystery caller details at the sound of the tone. Oh, you had that ready to go. Oh yeah, I was ready for you. The guy always calls. Who the hell is it? It's probably my wife calling your phone just to mess up the show some more. Are you done with him? Did you hang him up? Yeah, yeah, I gave him a call on his number in London. Hey, it's some joker calling about the show. No, you're kidding me. No. Who was it? It's probably that guy who did the jingle. And he has your home phone number. He wanted to get the jingle on. He's like, quick, let me call, let me call. That's funny. That's funny.

25:21 Alright, don't do that again. Damn it. Guys, I want to have somebody call me up, you know, that's got my number and they, I've had more than a few calls. It's not a lot. I mean, I get called, I call them all crank calls about maybe twice a year. It's not like a nuisance, but it's usually some drunk. You know, teenager. I swear to God. It's like always like it's you know, it's like they're back east and so it's like 2 in the morning and the guy... Is this John Zborak, the columnist? Yeah. Hey dudes, it ain't him! Hey dude, Doss Rules, dude!

26:03 And then they want to chat but they have nothing to talk about. I've always told people, you know, if you're going to go to... if you like going to concerts, the big thing is to get the backstage pass. Yeah. And you go back there, you don't have anything in common with any of these people. In fact, you're in the way all the time. You're in the way. You're in the way. Backstage, access all areas. Oh yeah, that's what you want, baby. That's what you need if you want to be with the cool kids. I will say this, if you can get a backstage pass and you can get back there. There's only one reason and one reason alone to do it. There's usually a good buffet.

26:40 In the backstage area cold cuts cold cuts cold cuts are great and potato salad That is truly the best part of the backstage experience, and then if you got some you know some band that's You know or artists that is that is up there, and this is really rockin Then you know they always have a rider with all kinds of crazy shit, so you'll have you know only a specific type of avion or tons of toilet paper Or just no or no brown M&Ms something like that so anyway the it's just not worth the trouble So let's let's get back to your son John's Oh here's someone sent me the link for the the pen cam now that it that thing is cool I'll send it to me. I'm Skype it to you right now so

27:34 So he the way I read his email which is too is too lengthy to read on on the show is This is really like the perfect storm of a story because on the one hand it It conditions the masses to think yeah, let's go kill those bastards those damn pirates Johnny Depp on the high seas. Let's go kill him and on the other hand it gives people Some people, some selected people, the thinking of, hey, you know, we're not safe. We need more spending on anti-terrorism. And then of course you have other people who are saying, oh, poor pirates, we're screwing them, it's our fault, which is kind of what I said last time. And I think I might have to revisit after reading the email, I might have to revisit my opinion.

28:24 But there's... Yeah, he basically summarizes saying the whole thing is just a fractal. Well, it's like the perfect media storm, isn't it? Yeah, and it's just a bunch of, you know, it's just to get people... And it also gets... He gets the... That fractal thing doesn't work. Yeah, it does. I don't think so. It's too hard to hear it. Well, if you hear it twice, then it makes sense. Yeah, but then you're asking too much of an audience. and you're making demands on the audience right now right before by winning the war so uh... yeah he believes it's a fractal of the of the of the left liberal uh... agenda uh... to always you know break it down to these people are not doing anything more than what we do which is you know where a bunch of criminals and as a as a culture which is exactly what i did on the last show by the way

29:20 It's exactly how I categorized it, exactly the message I sent. And I have to say, I've got to think about it now. Right, yeah. As soon as you read that, I was thinking of you, I was thinking, oh, that's interesting. He's very analytical. You know what it is, is he and a bunch of this generation, not all of them, but a lot of them, they read these specific popular philosophers of the era, namely Lacan, and mainly as interpreted by this character named Zizek, whose name's hard to pronounce. And Zizek writes, and he's actually got a lot of YouTube videos. He's fascinating. Zizek? Yeah, Z-I-S-E-K, something like that. Zizek, like the great Karnak? And his stuff is quite good, but he's extremely, the politics are very unique.

30:16 Zizek, I don't know, maybe somebody will... So the thing that is kind of... Yeah, Slavoz Z-I-S-E-K. And he's one of the philosophers of our era, huh? Well, no, Lacan is, and Zizek is his mouthpiece. I mean, nobody can understand this guy Lacan. Oh, okay, so Zizek speaks for Lacan. Yeah. That's what I need. I need someone to speak for me. You do. Now, the way I see it is, but the funny thing is if you start listening to Zizek, he's actually got, his thoughts are so unique and interesting that it's, and extremely blunt about what's going on, that it's, in and of himself, it's fascinating. The Lacan part is actually kind of tedious. So anyway, that's kind of where we're at.

31:11 I don't have to talk anymore. Mr. Roboto. Adore mi gato. I like that guy. So anyway, yeah, no, that's, uh, yeah, we have to rethink some of this stuff. I'm going to try to get him to, he's once I said, I'd like to run this on the blog, this long letter he sent, right? Cause it's not a bad essay. It's kind of rambling. And I saw, I just added a little bit to tighten it up. He says, and then he, so he sends me another note that you didn't get where he says, well, you know, I think this is more of a, of a, of a thing about the media. I like to redo it and talk about how today's media is a bunch of, you know, and then he goes into criticizing the 140 character Twitter news distribution. I did see that. Well, let's just stop for a second because the latest news, there is something going on here and I agree that partially it's the news loves this because it's almost like

32:00 It's got all the elements. You know, it has some romance, kind of mystique, you know, the whole pirate vibe is just fantastic. Pirate movies, except if it stars Geena Davis, are, you know, blockbusters. It's the days of Errol Flynn's, the romanticism, yet we gotta get these fuckers. And so I think the news is, the news, the media keeps dredging up stuff, but at the same time there is actual stuff happening. They've, did I read this just today? A Belgian ship now has been nabbed by the pirates. Which of course was not hard because they ran out of coal.

32:37 Pirates captured Belgian ship and were taken to the coast of Somalia after the vessel was reported missing early Saturday. Now a lot of these reports by the way are coming out of the UN and NATO so that's why I'm always highly suspicious. But you know, so these ships that are being captured are five, six hundred miles from the coast and it seems a little... you know, this is why they talk about the mothership and everything. There's got to be something more behind this than just poor fishermen. Yeah, well, poor fisherman is like the joke of it. And here's the thing that gets me. Why did we grab one of the head pirates and drag him to New York City of all places to put him on trial in New York? Well, not just that. France handed the pirates over to Kenya. I don't know why they would be handed over to Kenya.

33:36 What's going on with these guys being used as like like trading like metal like monopoly pieces or sure you can have one pirate have a pirate a lady They have 11 Somali pirates that they seized in a naval raid this week. Did you hear about it? All I hear about is our hero No, or our hero the guy that was that was there when they shot everybody standing around. Yeah. Yeah, because they had sharpshooters on board. Oh I had to by the way give them a call because I was ridiculing the sharpshooters being on board when of course that's about 10 people pointed out with emails. They were parachuted in from a nearby location. How does that work? So you just parachute onto the ship? You're not like a target?

34:23 I guess, I guess they parachute it onto the ship. I mean these guys are Navy SEALs so they can do it. I mean Navy SEALs are obviously, you know, adept at everything. Could it be that, could it, is it possible John that this is just being used as a ruse to build up an incredible naval force in the region? I don't think we can afford that. Yes we can. In fact, yes we can. We can't afford it. We need a jingle that says yes we can. Nah. Yeah. It's a fractal of Obama's yes we can. It has to be different somehow. Well, I'm kind of wanting you to do this. Can you play that little intro that that guy did that you're running on the stream? Oh yeah, sure. This was awesome. Well, there's actually two things. We have the no agenda countdown.

35:17 This is the No Agenda Countdown. Today is April 19th, 2009, informing you that today is a live broadcast of No Agenda, covering the real news that could change the world. Featuring Adam Curry from Gitmo Nation East, radiating from the southwest corner of London. And from Gitmo Nation West, a man who finally waits to announce his name at the end of the introduction, John C. Dvorak. Bringing you needlessly sensational voiceovers for No Agenda in a fully armed and operational battle station above Gitmo Nation South, I'm Parker R. Snyder. In the morning, Crackpot and Buzzkill discuss the earth-shattering news that is important to you. Tune in today at noagendastream.com.

36:03 Remember, No Agenda is brought to you by Adam Curry, John C. Dvorak, and viewers like you. Head to noagendalibrary.com or dvorak.org slash N-A to make your donation today. For Hyperbolic Voiceovers, I'm Parker Arshteyner. Now, on with the countdown. I'll play the other one before we're done with the show. Yeah, that's the typical thing where the announcement is longer than the show. It's exactly right. Now, I think he did a pretty good job, but I do think he said library. Oh no. Did he say library? No. I think he did. Tell me it ain't so.

36:45 I don't want to go back and listen to it. Well, Parker, I think the guy who phoned. Yeah, oh, is that him? There we go. And now, back to real news. Well, some just fantastic real news, John, that I almost can't believe how fortunate we are to be able to have a mainstream media that discusses these very important stories. And I have one that's trending that I guarantee you will be top of the news. The Twitter- I like trending. I like us picking up on the trending stories. Yeah, here's a trending- well, unfortunately, it's real news. Here's a trending real news story. The Twitter-enabled cat flap. The what? The Twitter-enabled cat flap. So this, uh, you're gonna see this everywhere. This guy, uh, he had like stray cats coming into his house, and he wanted to catch him.

37:43 So, he set this thing up. His own cats have RFID tags, chips embedded in them. It's a very New World Order type thing, that's why I'm sure it's going to get picked up. So when they come up to the cat flap, the RFID tag identifies them, then takes a twit pic and posts it on Twitter as they're coming through the cat flap. And if they have the wrong RFID chip or no chip, then the door stays locked, but still a twit pic is taken and posted to Twitter. This is definitely something you will be hearing about over and over again. Oh brother. So, uh, yeah, well Twitter's become the big news thing, you know. Now that Oprah, I guess she joined Twitter and she got 250,000 followers like instantly. That was, uh... Which I'm surprised is that low. It was, uh... It wasn't, I think it was Ashton Kutcher? Didn't he send the first Oprah Twitter? Say that again. I gotta work on the buttons.

38:51 So I'm looking at the... Oh, you're just going to continue with real news? Is there anything else? Well, I was just going to say that I think Twitter is real news. Yeah. But it is real, real news. Yeah, yeah, no, there's something about it. I mean, right now, I'm going to see the trending topics on Twitter. Number one, what do you guess? Oprah. No, Oprah is about number eight. Okay, I don't know what. Pirates. No, it's still Susan Boyle. Oh, please. This is how shallow we are as a human race. Then here before... I thought that would be a quickie. It's interesting. There's Ascot 400... Asot 400? See what's cool about this is you see those trends, right? And then you do a search on that trend and then I can see... Let's go to... saying English and Dutch are actually quite close.

39:44 This is uh... So there's these little pockets of people who are just twittering like crazy and they use a hashtag and then it shows up as a trend. Half the time you don't know what the hell it's about but... Yeah, Easter is still high, FA Cup, Jesus, Earth Day, Pussycat Island. That sounds interesting. Let's see what's happening in the world of Pussycat Island. It's almost noon here. It's time for mojitos. Anyone need one? What the hell is that? So there must be some people hanging out in Pussycat Island. Okay, quite boring actually. I guess there's nothing to that Twitter. So talking back to, let's say, memes, since we're talking about Twitter. I wanted to, before we left the pirate topic, I had to go to the printer and, because I printed something out because I thought it was funny.

40:44 I was looking at the news rundown on Google News because they have all these redundant stories. So I looked up Abduwali Muse, who is the pirate that we dragged over to New York City. And it's interesting that they, I'm just gonna read just a variety of stories. They're not all like AP stories, but they all say the following. 19-year-old Abdul Wali Moose, or Moose, believed to be the ringleader of the four... and then just... The ringleader. Next one, next story from kongu.com. The pirate's name is 19-year-old Abdul Wali Moose, believed to be the ringleader.

41:29 Here's one that's not it's not but that in itself the ringleader it yeah I know the term wait on what you know amen. This is like a ring of pirates now. This is serious shit Here's the times online in the UK abduwali moose 19 instead of saying 19 year old abduwali moose abduwali moose This is how they changed it. Yeah 19 is believed to be the ringleader. Oh, man. How lame So it's like, yeah, the ringleader, it's like a ring. So what do we know about these guys? Do we know anything? Nothing! Is anyone doing any reporting? I mean, why are we not revolting? You know, you shouldn't revolt against bankers, you should revolt against your news media. That's who you should revolt against. In fact, I guess we're doing it already, by not buying your stupid, lame, empty-ass newspapers and watching your stupid, lame, BS television news die. Die, die, die, die, die.

42:26 Already know cuz yeah, we got to go through this shit John we got a game. We're not even halfway through the car wash There's no light at the end of the tunnel yet, but I think we have to go through this We got to go through the real nasty. So there's one here. I just noticed is the this was on all this one It's funny. This is the news Carrier that is getting busted all headline news. I don't know where they got this one from but it says Abdullali Moussa will be brought to New York. He's in Kenya under the custody of American authorities. So there's another Kenya connection. Why Kenya? I have no idea. I'm telling you, John, is Kenya poised? Where's Kenya on the map? It's in the middle of the country. Centrally located. But is it centrally located in beautiful downtown Africa? Kenya is the place for you to visit. Somalia is on the coast, but does it border on Somalia?

43:20 I don't know, I have to look on the map. All I know is it's a shithole. We were in Nairobi at the airport. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Come to Kenya. John C. Dvorak says... It's a shithole. That's your endorsement right there. So we're in the airport and the military is in the airport shaking down the tourists that are passing through. Literally. Like taking their shit away from them. Yeah, and stealing their money. Now Kenya's on the opposite coast, I think.

44:04 No, no, no, it's over on the, it's kind of in the middle, toward the east. It's on the east coast. Right. Right, so it borders on Somalia. So we have, there you go, Somalia's on the coast that has kind of like that hook going up and then you have Ethiopia, another fine place to visit, and we have, and Kenya. So maybe Kenya's staging a takeover with help of, because you know, Somalia's a mess. So maybe that's what this is about. Maybe that's why they're being sent to Kenya. They're probably in cahoots. Well, let's look at this map here. Look at it, man. I mean, Ethiopia has got to be easy. Those guys will do anything for some. Kenya does have some ports. Nairobi is where I was. See what I mean? By the way, I would not recommend anyone going there for any reason unless you're escorted by the military. But of course, if you look at where it's strategically located,

45:00 Yeah, so Somalia has a nice flap of land which is across the water from Saudi Arabia. I mean if you're taking a look, well yeah because it flips around, if you're taking a look at Somalia and you want to say to yourself, what could I do with that? What could we do with the country? Come to Somalia. You know the place that used to be a shithole? Well we've changed all that. I mean it's got a shoreline that goes on forever. It's beautiful. Let me zoom in on Google Earth and let me take a look at our new beachfront property. Where would you like to have our house, John? Well, you know, look at the issues where we've had trouble in the past. No, no, no. We don't want that. And that's where they ran Clinton. He sent some troops there and then they butchered him and then we ran like kids out of there instead of bombing the place.

45:48 And so that place is kind of obviously out of control and I guess a lot of the pirates are using it as a... I don't know what they're going to do. Maybe if they incited a war, I'm just thinking in some sort of global Uber Lord kind of... Yes, in they talk, yes. They, we don't know who they are, well you do, but I don't. Of course I do. Yeah, that's what I said. They decide, okay, we're using... In other words, the only reason we have Americans in Kenya in the first place is because we got our people, our economic hitmen already there... Working it, working the land, stealing the minerals. ...to get them to go to war with Somalia.

46:31 I really s- and if you look at how surrounded everything is, because of course, you know, we've got, uh, we've got Iraq, which is, uh, so we're surrounding Saudi Arabia, essentially. What else is on the other coast? What else can we look for in the news? Um, Eritrea, D- Djibouti? Djibouti? The hell is Djibouti? That's a country? Djibouti? I don't know where, you know where Eritrea used to be called something else. There's a bunch of people that know. They changed all those names just to confuse us. Well, yeah. It's working. Can't keep up. I mean, it's like we don't look at the African map that much as it is and most people, especially in the United States, they can't find Chicago. Seriously, it's unbelievable.

47:19 So we should be on the lookout for weird stuff coming out of Kenya, because you're right, our people are there already. They're probably going to take over running of Somalia, and then of course we have... it's just a lot, you know? Well, we have to do it in such a way, obviously we don't want to get involved in Somalia as a USA, because that's not going to fly. I mean, we couldn't do it before. We have to incite some sort of a situation. So, uh... Okay. Where's Djibouti? Djibouti. Hey, how's your Djibouti going? Hey, check the Djibouti on that girl, man. I can't. I've never even... How did that one get by me? Your Djibouti is rocking. Well, here's... They must say, you know, Djibouti's a really small country with the capital Djibouti. Yeah. You know, so the mailing address would be Djibouti, Djibouti. Djibouti, Djibouti. I'm gonna... Excuse me, John. I gotta make a Djibouti call. I'll be right back.

48:18 It seems to me that since where it's located in the rest of it. It's got to be sitting on some oil fields Oh, of course of course this of course is something important there. Yes, why so small? Let me just type into Google G booty B O U T I you do that and I'll take us a little bit words towards oil field Towards Israel because there is some interesting stuff coming up The u.s.. Is going to participate in A missile shield war game exercise with Israel. Yeah, great. Well you know what that's about. That's about Iran.

49:04 Yeah, yeah, just a it's a saber right yeah saber rattling We're looking at this pirate stuff think about it John Why wouldn't we want to have a whole bunch of destroyers and of course? It's NATO forces the Dutch are sending a ship or the Belgians their only ship of course got captured shit happens the one running on coal There was no wind they were in iron so it's done in iron so they were able to get him I think it's to build up a force there. I think they're just using this and they're probably paying some, you know, some Zay guys formerly known as Blackwater or maybe three mountaintops Obama's boys from Chicago or whatever it was three tent tops. What was the name of the new Blackwater there? Yeah, I can't remember the name. It's something maybe there, you know, it's like Prince changing his name, you know, you get

49:57 You get these pirates out there, five, six hundred miles from the coast, they can't find a mothership. You gotta think, it might be Navy SEALS! Or some other consultant type guys helping out. Yeah, whoo anyway, they could have said they were Navy SEALs. They may not have been who knows and we don't get this facts and nobody's the military's not talking anybody and there's nobody inside on the ships is gonna say anything they're fairly good at being quiet the so Here's a background on Djibouti Djibouti the French territory of the afar's and the ESAs became Djibouti in 1977 Hassan Guled Abtodon installed an authoritarian one-party state and proceeded to serve as president until 1999. Unrest among the Afars minority during the 1990s led to a civil war, gee that's unusual in Africa, that ended in 2001 following the conclusion of a peace accord between the Afar rebels and the Issa-dominated government. This is from the CIA factbook. Take that with a grain of salt.

51:02 I think the CIA factbook is actually pretty decent. When it comes to the script. Well, yeah, but still the information is good. Here's one for you. US bank JP Morgan Chase has said to the Dutch Rijksmuseum, John, you can maybe still make it before it's gone. said, hey we really like that expo that you've got up there but that one painting, the Bend in the Gentleman's Canal, that's the translated title, the Bocht van de Heergracht, painted by Rembrandt in 1672, we're going to have to take that away from you because the guy whose collection it belongs to had put it up as collateral for a 50 million dollar loan, he then sold the painting to the Rijksmuseum

51:55 And now JPMorgan Chase is saying, uh-uh, we had a lien against it, we're coming to take it from you. Oh, that's interesting. I'd seen that painting by the way, because I went to the Rijksmuseum. Beautiful painting. Yeah, well there's a lot of good... that's a nice museum. Which has been completely screwed, it's, you know, half of it's been closed for two years for, you know, some quick repairs they were going to do. That's pretty outrageous, the bank is just gonna take it right out of the museum. Sorry, it's ours. I think they should, I think the country, Holland, should nationalize the painting and tell the bank to screw itself. You know, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. What is all this talk of nationalizing news? Are you following this? It's only started to crop up about nationalizing news. I have no idea what it means. Okay, so what I understand is

52:50 It wouldn't be a true nationalization, but it's really the next step in kind of the Ministry of Truth Orwellian field to what seems to be happening. The first step is There would be no corporate taxes on news media because they're all dying, right? Everyone's going down the tubes. And so I'm not quite sure what the steps are after that. I really don't know, but I keep seeing this nationalizing the news media and I'm thinking this is really, really, really bad that it's even being discussed in this manner. I haven't been able to catch up to it. Kills that topic, doesn't it?

53:36 I've been able to catch up to it. I've been seeing it crop up as a meme, you know, nationalizing news, nationalizing news, but I'm not seeing any, what anybody's talking about. I have no idea. I mean, if they want to like give the guys a tax break, what do they need a tax break for? They're losing their ass. That's a tax break in and of itself. They're not paying any taxes. So how does that make any sense? If you're losing a million dollars a week at the San Francisco Chronicle, what's your tax? Yeah, that's a good point. So there is no tax break when you're broke. Maybe it's a set up for a bailout. Oh, I think that's a possibility. But what kind of a bailout would these guys expect or want? And what good will it do them? They're going down the tubes because their product sucks. But that didn't stop us from giving General Motors money. Well, yeah, but they're going to still go bankrupt. Here's what the irony to all this is, and people keep pointing it out. Why are we giving them money when they're just going to go bankrupt anyway?

54:35 It's like, here's money, money, money, money, bankrupt. It's like, what did you just give all this money for? They're going to have to go bankrupt. General Motors, if we were thinking about this clearly, we had to realize that at some... but the real problem here with General Motors going bankrupt is obviously these old farts... well, not necessarily some of them are as old as I am, but there's old farts. These old guys, these retirees from General Motors who bought into the proposal that look you work for us for 25-30 years and we give you, we just give you money for the rest of your life until you drop dead.

55:13 And so there's thousands and thousands and thousands of these people and it's caught and something like I think something on the price is like two or three hundred dollars a car or some outrageous amount of money goes into paying. I mean in terms of the price you pay for an American car is really paying the welfare for these retirees which of course America is not being a generous sort. I would rather buy a Honda or a Toyota for less money and it's a better car on top of it. So you have this situation where what can we do to be more competitive? Well, we've got to get out from under this ridiculous pension. But why are we having this conversation now after we already spent 20 billion on them fully? Everyone was aware that it wasn't going to work. Everyone's like laughing about this. And now it's happened. Now General Motors is saying, yeah, we're going to go bankrupt. And that was really just how are we going to do it? When are we going to do it? Do we have we become so

56:10 numb to the numbers that they don't matter anymore? What is going on? I wonder about that myself, about why if we knew it, I mean maybe we didn't, maybe somebody actually didn't know that this was gonna have to happen. And I think or maybe they're just trying to stall because here's what the real problem is. You pull the rug out from under all these retirees And you've got a horrible situation. Maybe that's why you need the Border Patrol and cracking heads. Thank you, John. Finally, you're starting to see the light. Not only that with the retirees, but in general, the pension fund, of course, the biggest Ponzi scheme that we own. That's why there's FEMA camps, John, because I do believe that where we're headed...

56:52 Is total mayhem on the street and it'll be the border patrol will say why just come on right over here. We'll take care of you ma'am Oh, mr. Dvorak, please nothing to see here. Just have a seat The barbed wire turn on the inside is for your protection not to keep you from escaping Whatever. Now, you're always going in that direction. I think there's a concern, but I think it's an economic concern. I don't think that these guys, this particular group of people, I think there are pockets of people or maybe there's just maybe everybody actually maybe the government thinks the way you do, which is a possibility, which is frightening, which is that there's going to be riots and blood in the streets if these guys have their money taken away from them.

57:37 because they were guaranteed this money. I didn't go to work for this company for 25 years to be told or given a bunch of bull crap and then have my pension taken away. Now what am I supposed to do? There's no jobs for me, there's nothing to do, I can't pay my mortgage, I can't get another loan, my house is worth less than it was two years ago. I mean this is like a formula for, you know, Riots, this is exactly what was discussed in the secret meeting in Congress You'll recall this happened in the last quarter of 2008 just before everything started to really hit the shitter There was a secret secret meeting off the record only only house members were allowed to attend No one's allowed to talk about it. And we now know that in that meeting

58:26 Specifically was discussed that martial law would have to be invoked in the United States because we were tanking the economy. It's not like these guys don't see it. Why do you think that the Goldman Sachs is stealing all of our money, taking it right from their buddies in the in the treasury? Because they know what's happening. It's unavoidable. Might as well benefit while we can. And yes, that's why the camps were set up conveniently the law they already had him set up but they conveniently introduced the bill just about the time we're gonna actually need them where they can be for uh... all kinds of disasters and anything else homes only on the other hand i really is for anything continent by the same this is this is exactly what they said fifty years ago now these cancer and then i could be used for anything don't worry about it but you got my showers there too yeah well i mean

59:17 From your perspective I can see, especially when you're overseas and you're not actually here. John, here they already literally said, the government said, it'll be the summer of rage. They're already putting it into people's heads. Oh, there's going to be fighting in the streets, it's going to be the summer of rage. We have extra forces now that we need because the economy... The people are so meek and sheepish here that they They need the actual command. It's like a command line. They type in the command. You must riot. Yes, that's exactly. Please riot so we can implement our scheme. Yes, that's exactly what it is. It's that simple. I used to think it was so complicated, but it's really, really simple. And I'm sure that... You're going to put money on these riots? Yes. Not riots. I'm putting money on people being detained in camps for sure.

1:00:12 detained they'll be living there peacefully. So in the age of transit... So they're gonna call one giant homeless shelter? We are. These tent camps are all over the country now. They're growing like crazy. People have to go somewhere and in in the United Kingdom it's already cultural to sleep rough. You know the... Did you know that? No, what does sleep rough mean? That means you sleep outside on the street or wherever. Oh, that's what I meant without your underwear. No, that's commando. So, by the way, just as an aside, so you know that Italian town, a couple, a bunch of these Italian towns that were devastated by that earthquake, they set up these tent communities all over the place. Yeah, they're run by the mob.

1:01:03 Well, the funny thing is, somebody was doing a walkthrough in this tent community. It looks like anything else in Italy. A bunch of people sitting around drinking cappuccinos. It's not now John, a lot of people died. Let's not be so casual about it. No, I'm sorry about that, but I'm just saying the fact that the Italians can relax into any situation as Italians, you know, without, you know, be like, if this was like an American thing, you'd have, of course, the news media propagates this. They find some woman crying her eyes out, you know, and all she does is sob and they put her on the camera and then they, you know, put a voiceover.

1:01:40 This woman lost her entire family, her home, and everything that she ever possessed. And they come up to her, how do you feel about that? Oh my god, what is wrong with you people? Leave the woman alone. How do you feel? Because it's the same guy who asked Madonna the question, you know, when her child adoption plans are thwarted. You know, it's the same guy. How do you feel about that? Uh, the secret memos I think is worth mentioning. Please tell me you've heard about this. I've heard about secret memos, but I don't know which ones to which you refer. Well, these would be the Bush interrogation memos. Oh, yeah. This is the one where they... Go ahead. Well, I mean, this is the one where they said, you know, they're about to, you know, kind of promoting the torture.

1:02:35 Kind of kind of promoting like waterboarding totally okay good good to go kids Torturing children by putting them in in in the confined space with with with bugs Yeah, come on man. I know it's sick and it's like it's like when did these you know when do these when did we get a When did these people who should have probably been washed out of community service or national service for being probably perverted and sick, you know, how did they get into positions of power where they could like promote this sort of thing? I mean, this is like, this is like out and out sick. Yeah, and it's stamped with an American flag, amigo.

1:03:24 And so Obama's administration says, well we won't prosecute anyone who participated because they were just following orders. My God, another throwback to WW2. We were just following orders. Yeah, see, the problem with that, with going along with it, what they should do is, of course, prosecute because that will keep other people from making the same stupid mistake. Exactly, that's what... So what they do is, by not prosecuting, is kind of like wink-wink, nudge-nudge. It's okay, but we're saying it's not because our followers demand it, but we're gonna just, you know, you guys are off the hook. How does that work? It only works in the land of Oz, my friend.

1:04:10 There's a judge in Spain who for a year now has been trying and he's gaining a little bit of ground, he's certainly gaining some PR. He's desperately trying to bring six leading Bush administration officials to justice, including Attorney General Gonzalez, Undersecretary of Defense, Assistant Attorney General Jay Bybee, John Yo, the Deputy Assistant Attorney General, and William Haynes II, Defense Department General Counsel. This is like lawyer war going on. Yeah, lawyer war. Well, you know, the lawyer war is going on with the new Attorney General and that Ted Stevens case.

1:04:59 Yeah, that's still lingering, isn't it? Yeah, because they're thinking of prosecuting for malicious prosecution the government officials that went after Stevens. So there's a lot of weird stuff going on like that. I think it's out of control. There's just no control. No one's running the show. Everyone's got their little fiefdom. Everyone's responsible for one little thing they're supposed to fuck us with. And they're just out of control. It's like, here's your papers. Border Patrol, go screw with everyone. Lawyers, let's go sue each other. Goldman Sachs, keep stealing money from us. Okay, we need to implement the bird flu. Hey, hey you guys, don't let that story get out. That was bad. So the talking about, you know, this, these guys trying to prosecute Bush officials. I think there's a certain irony that's at play with these, with all the people in the New World Order and internationalism.

1:05:59 Because at some point if you're gonna go in that direction you're asking for you're asking for for an international court Yeah, that actually has power over Americans Which is something we don't want because we'd rather bring people in New York City and try them there because we are the International Court I mean we drug Noriega out of Panama, you know just go in there grab him bring him to Florida try and throw him in jail You know, the guy who's running a country, I mean, that took a lot of nerve. Excuse me? Who owns the country? You know? Owners' rights? Yeah. Hey dude, we told you what to do, we put you on the payroll, you didn't do your job in the brink. That's how it works. But when you take, if you're going to go toward internationalism, the potential exists that these guys that are

1:06:45 you know, being indicted on some international court because they were in the Bush administration, are at great risk of not being able to ever leave the United States. Because they'll be picked up and thrown in court, subsequently jail. Yeah, they could be picked up anywhere pretty much around the world. You know, somebody can grab them. And the thing is most of these guys would, you know, they seem to have plans to get to Paraguay, which I think is, you know, immune to Paraguay in particular is immune to extradition from the US or to the US. I guess if you can somehow get to Paraguay in a private jet, perhaps you could escape.

1:07:25 I don't know, it's like people are scrambling. It's kind of interesting to observe. The rats are leaving the ship? Yeah, well... I think that China is on to something. They're really quite smart about, you know... So in the US, our government basically kicks us into shape with intimidation and all kinds of crazy Gitmo nation-like rules. But in China, they've gone on a whole different track, which I really like. Apparently the government has employed Jackie Chan. I kid you not and He's coming out and saying stuff like the Chinese people they really need to be controlled I'm not sure if it's good to have freedom or not This is the way this is the way to do it if we're not being controlled. We'll just do what we want That's wrong says Jackie Chan This isn't equal we want I didn't catch this. This is funny. Yeah, this is Yahoo actually from the AP

1:08:27 That's a good story. It was a panel discussion titled, Tapping into Asia's Creative Industry Potential. Good old Jackie Chan doing his stuff, man. I love it. I'm always reminded of all these companies back in the 90s and 80s that were relocating, putting a lot of their offices in Singapore, which is the fascist state. I mean, it's an actual real honest to God fascist state that actually functions very well. and it's a place worth visiting. Americans are always real comfortable there, by the way. Especially American companies, because it's essentially fascist. Uncomfortable, yeah. No, they're very comfortable. They're comfortable, because the government of course is... it's corporatism, so yeah, so it works perfectly.

1:09:16 Yeah, and if you go, I've been there and it's a very comfortable place to go. I mean, it's like there's a lot of people around but you don't feel, you know, it's just, and everybody speaks, not everybody but a good portion of the population speaks English because it's, you find that in that part of the world because of the British and there was a British colony. It's just that, but it's interesting how relaxed, I mean, you, you, there's a joke, they like to joke about themselves, the Singaporeans. And they, one of their gags is, you know, oh yes, we think Singapore is a very fine city. You get fined for jaywalking, you get fined for bubblegum chewing, you get fined, by the way, it is illegal to chew gum.

1:10:01 and uh... or do it to sell gum. No, you can't spit it out on the street. That's when you get arrested. You can have gum but you can't, but no, you also can't sell it. Nobody sells gum in Singapore. Check it out. No loss, no loss. Uh, anyway, it's just that it's... I don't know why, but... So there we go. I got one for you from the Shadow Puppet Theater files. Steven Ratner, who is an advisor to the auto industry bailout. He's now under investigation. He's an advisor to the Treasury, by the way, and the President.

1:10:42 Opening, this is the LA Times, who do some interesting work from time to time. Investment banker Stephen Ratner came to Washington in February to help the Obama administration bail out General Motors Corp. Chrysler and maybe even find a larger role in government for himself. But any larger ambitions are now clouded by a pay-for-play scandal that links the New York State Pension Fund a low-budget movie called chooch and Ratner's former private equity firm. This is the stuff that dreams are made of when it comes to news. It's a movie in and of itself. The movie named chooch. I guess he leveraged the New York State Pension Fund.

1:11:25 These guys, these are the guys who are in there trying to save the auto industry we just spent 20 billion dollars on. And if you look at the guy, you just, you just want to hit him in the face. You're just like, eugh. Let me send you a picture. You know what I mean? Those guys when you just know that they're screwing you. It's just the kind of guy you just want to slap around. Look at him. Steven Ratner. Let's see. Know what I mean? He looks like a weasel. Co-founded the Quadrangle Group. Yeah. Whoopty doo.

1:12:05 It's got that same haircut that a bunch of these it's like an Ivy League look You know where you got the it's a William F. Buckley kind of haircut. Yeah, yeah, it's exactly it Nicola Sarkozy Napoleon we just call him Nicholas Napoleon from now on Sarkozy the great He he's this guy keeps coming out with amazing quotes. He's better than Berlusconi of course They're both in the same wood And I think he offended three world leaders in one lunch. I'm looking for... Three for one! Here it goes. Mr. Sarkozy, not known for his tact, said US President Barack Obama was quote, not always up to standard on decision-making or efficiency. Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero of Spain?

1:13:02 was, quote, perhaps not very intelligent. While Angela Merkel, quote, had no choice but to come round to my position when she saw the state of the German banks. This guy, this is the guy you gotta watch out for. Oh yeah, this guy's dangerous. He is, yeah, he's very dangerous. And the more I look at Carla Bruni, the more I'm convinced that she must be an MKUltra experiment. She must be one of the presidential models that are hypnotized and are just robotic. Why else would she be with this man? Well, maybe she likes the trappings of power. Talking about trappings of power, I forgot to mention that one of our contributors last week, which I want to mention.

1:13:54 Because he gave us an interesting number. And by the way, I want people out there, we didn't get a lot of contributions last week. I guess the show wasn't that good, but send us some help here at Dvorak.org slash N-A. Anyway, so this guy sent us $51.50. 51.50 is, no, I know 52.50 is Van Halen's studio address. 51.50, I give up. It's the, specifically I think it's in California but I think it might be elsewhere, it refers to a section of the law that defines insanity. So I used to actually, so when he came in with this number I immediately caught it because I used to work for an enforcement agency. Because you used to be insane. Because we used to have these people that were like, there was all of those, you can't go visit them, they're 51, actually we called them 50-50s.

1:14:52 And that meant that they were nut jobs and they had aluminum foil hats and that kind of thing. You know, like you. And that's another one for the Armory. We appreciate it. So anyway, the thing that's about this character is his name. It's like I saw his name, I go, my God, this is like one of the world's greatest names because it could be any kind of person. So his name is Johnny Green. Ooh. That's like a good DJ name. Johnny Green! Hey, Johnny Green with everybody! Hey! Good morning! Yeah, Johnny Green bringing it to the ladies. He could be like a pimp or he could be like a, you know, broadcaster or he could be a baseball player. Johnny Green! You know, Johnny Green, center field. It's one-legged Johnny Green out there and he's gonna steal second.

1:15:51 And so he's got this universal name, but the thing that's really interesting about it is that in this day and age, having the last name Green is actually pretty trendy. Oh, right. Okay, I see where you're coming from. This is the green thing, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, I'm impressed. We talked about a... Let me finish some more of these numbers. Just a second, we talked about someone who made a donation last week and we thought it was a hot babe from Italy. Andrea? Yeah. It turns out Andrea is a guy's name in Italy. So, there you go.

1:16:30 I thought I'd link to her. I still want to know if he's hot. You don't know that's not well, okay, maybe on directly let us know So here's a couple other numbers 2012 of course you get that and 911 which is surprising we haven't gotten that more. Was that $9.11 or $911? Yeah it would have been $911 but that's okay. For sure. 666 again, now here's one I couldn't fathom. It's the only one. There's a 1984, there's a 2001, you know based on the movie, a guy had to write me a note. Yeah it's from the movie. This one I don't get. 2674.

1:17:06 2674 no it means nothing to me. I got nothing there. I got nothing and maybe who knows some some in there 2674 did you google it did you try that oh, and I didn't do that we have RFC 2674 What's that something about printers? I? Likes the printer he likes a certain HP printer so You know people should there's a lot of things you could do you can do a house resolutions 835 is a good one which of course is the re-education program of America Which will send your children to camp and they get a nice armband mm-hmm 2674 no I'd Oh Penn Pandora's okay hold on a second 2674 Pandora's at Jupiter Trojan

1:18:04 Discovered on January 27th 1982. I don't know what that is. It's like a an asteroid I don't know maybe that's the one headed our way What else did we get that's pretty much it? I mean, there's a lot of you know subscriptions, and that's about you know two bucks here and there, but we don't have anything Spectacular we don't have any new night. You know what the problem is John the problem is we don't have enough and now back to real Pop star Madonna has suffered minor injuries and bruises after falling from a startled horse on New York's Long Island on Saturday. According to her spokeswoman, the 50-year-old singer fell when her horse was startled by paparazzi who jumped out of the bushes to photograph her. Madonna was treated at a hospital in Southampton and was later released. Wow, she could have been killed. That actually makes like the BBC News. I'm reading it from a BBC News report. Fucking idiots.

1:19:14 We are. That's pretty bad. Like, you know, somebody falls off a horse. I mean, let's say she breaks her neck or something. It's not news. She did. She hurt herself pretty bad a couple of years ago. On a horse? Yeah, yeah, yeah. She broke her arm and I think maybe her collarbone. Yeah, she got pretty bad. Hey, I didn't know, you know, and most people when you think of Iran, You don't think about that they have this problem or even these facilities, but the Iranian authorities have arrested 26 men and women who were involved in producing and distributing through the internet child and other forms of pornography. They got a whole cyber team over there. Well, Iran's not, you know, a backwards country by any means. Oh, I know, but I believe most people think Iran and you think, you know, people with towels and camels.

1:20:13 They don't even think there are any camels in Iran. They got iPods. You know, they're Persians, not Arabs. Do Persians not wear towels on their head? Very few that I know of. Not that I know of. It's not a towel. Really? They're not coming out of the shower. What is that garment called then, John? It's got a lot of different names. Oh, you so knowledgeable. You can't name... I need a tinfoil towel. That's what I need. Okay. I'll just... Hey, by the way. Yeah. So last week I went on, I got a nasty note from one of our producers. And by the way, that's what we call anyone who contributes to the show. Dvorak.org slash NA or noagendalibrary.com, please.

1:21:09 Anyway, he's saying that you know you told a stupid cork story in Portugal once already, you know six months ago and why are you telling it again? It was boring and it was long-winded and you can't you know blah blah blah blah blah blah and I'm thinking and I said well you're adamant I'm supposed to call me on these when I'm being repetitious like because I don't know I think it's a fascinating I like the cork story okay so we have to have an agreement because from time to time I think now shit man you've told that before but I just let it go because I don't want to be rude maybe since when I don't say we already heard that before but I guess I should well I think you should do it in some sensible way okay

1:21:51 Let's try it. Hey dude, this is the second time. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yeah, okay, go. So you know, dude, dude, finish up with you. You were in Portugal and you know, you were in Montemagny. Oh yeah, so yeah, it was the Cliff Richard wine and there were some nice oak trees. Yeah, well you know the funny thing, I was in Portugal in that same area and the funny thing was, you know, is that I had this like fascination with cork trees. So I wanted to take a look at a cork factory. Wait. John, you've already mentioned that to us before. Time to take your meds and let's continue with the show. From Gitmo Nation... Go ahead. You have to come up with something better. I like the horn though. That's pretty good. From Gitmo Nation East... But you could be honking that half the time. Yes. It's certainly good. There's a new leaflet out, John, in the UK. Remember, we were just talking about conditioning of the people. The leaflet is titled, Coping with the Stress of Job Loss.

1:22:53 And, uh, so there's many tips in there. Can you guess what the main tip is? Drink a lot. It's close. Eat more fiber. You're kidding, though. No, you have a copy of this. You've got to scan it. I don't have a copy of it, but I will get it Yeah, I didn't scan it because that is too funny I leave a blog at least when I'm coping with the stress of job loss includes advice on maintaining well-being by eating healthily including concentrating on fiber-rich foods like wholemeal bread fruit and vegetables and here it is John drink plenty of water and get enough rest and sleep I mean how How degrading is this? Well, they want the fiber, these grains, these complex sugars, which is what they really are.

1:23:38 the bane of people with blood sugar issues. They want you to have a lot of that, because it's satiating and makes you kind of slow-witted. You make dumb, you get kind of stupid. I mean, the smartest people... If you just eat fish, you're going to get too smart and active. Yeah, you'll be prepared to go riot and stuff. And so you want to have a lot of that. And then, of course, drinking... Of course, I'm not a total believer in this one, but drinking a lot of fluoridated water on top of that. That'll keep you calm. Exactly. That'll keep you calm so you won't go throwing rocks at the parliament. It's not quite as bad as in Thailand though where the government has classified 13 plants as hazardous substances. They include ginger, wow, turmeric,

1:24:29 Neem? You're kidding. Yeah, neem? I don't know what neem is. Neem is a, N-E-E-M is an herb used in Indian medicine. And chili. Chili? Yes. That's like the staple in Thailand. The ministry has labeled these as hazardous substances type 1 which quote requires all manufacturers, growers, importers or exporters of any products made from the plants to follow strict safety and quality control rules or face up to six months in jail and a 50,000 baht fine.

1:25:07 Which of course is like 10 years wages for these guys. Chili grows wild. You just pick it. You have to adhere to the strict safety and quality control rules. This is how these guys get squeezed out. Because who is the company that is going to come in and do this for us? months on Santo Exactly mom Santo actually we need to do it to countdown we should do one two three months You know we can do it together. Yeah, see if we can harmonize okay. It's good actually never mind because we got a lag here It's impossible to harmonize no I can harmonize with you you can't but it will sound unharmonized on your end oh Yes, it would

1:25:53 So anyway, yeah, no, they obviously this is a way to screw the little guy. Yeah, the regular farmers that grow this stuff, especially I mean ginger. I mean what to do these things. None of these things are harmful. No, no, they're extremely dangerous to your health. If you don't follow the strict health and safety guidelines or shit, it's bull. What's the what's the what is it with a hot chili pepper? You pick it and put it in the food and cook it. And I mean, what's the deal? I mean, what do I what's the what's the fear? There should be riots in the street. That I would advocate. Tide, the food is delicious. I love Tide food. And why don't they call out Basil while they're at it? Oh, they could. Why won't? Who says they won't? We still have a show on Thursday. Anything can happen. But there is an outrage. And this kind of fall... I would do real news except it is kind of an outrage. Gordon Ramsay, you know, the guy who of course

1:26:52 Always says everything has to be fresh fresh fresh fresh fresh has been busted. Oh Busted yeah that he makes stuff up the day before and then heats them up in baggies in hot water before serving them Well who busted him for this this is um I was the guy's name Too bad we didn't have a Gordon Ramsay doppelganger who could come in when Ramsay's doing this and then just berate him Israel Pons. He's one of the guys, I guess Ramsey came in to save his restaurant, but he had to close it. It didn't work out. Oops. And so he's done a tell-all with The Sun in the UK. And he's talking about the boil-in-the-bag type food that Ramsey is serving in his restaurant's headline. Ramsey serves up Coq Au Vin, V-A-N.

1:27:53 He just rolls up the meals pre-made in his van to the restaurants. That's not a good thing to have people say about your food. No, but there's obviously a publicity campaign targeting him. I think. Because there's too much risk. He did not respond at all to the allegations about his philandering. He never responded once and it went away. It just went away. Maybe that's why they're back at him. He must have pissed somebody off. I'm sure he pissed a lot of people off, I think about it. Yeah. Well, you know, the real kicker there, of course, is that his partner that really made him who he is today was his father-in-law. I didn't know that.

1:28:41 Yeah, his father-in-law is his backer. And his father-in-law obviously wasn't too pleased about finding out that he was, you know, screwing over his daughter by philandering. And then the next thing you know, all the shit starts hitting the fan. You know, restaurants are closing, he's losing stars, and now you got this. I guarantee, I know what's next. If he really pissed someone off, here's what always comes next. Tax. The next story is big tax tax. Yeah, that's it. And if he gets through that, then it's two to the head and put the gun in his hand. That's how they do it. And in the United Kingdom, the health services, finally, they figured out a way to kill people. Free flu shots if you're over 60.

1:29:24 Come and get them. Come and get your formaldehyde. Come and get your mercuries. Particularly good if you're over 60. You die quicker from it. Beautiful. It's a little late in the game to be giving flu shots out. Well, it's a big deal. That's kind of suspicious. I mean the flu season ended in March. Duh! Oh no, this is the new one shot does all. John, do you really... So there's 61 people in Britain. I didn't even know this thing was released yet. As far as I know it's not available in the United States. I know what this is. I don't think it's been approved. I'm reading through it if I can see anything. Well...

1:30:09 It could be just, you know, stupidity of they don't even think of the, you know, first of all, it's pharma. There's a tie in right there. So if they're giving away free flu shots, who's paying for it? The taxpayers are going to wind up paying for this, obviously. I bet you that, you know what I bet you this is? I'm just guessing. Surplus flu shots from this last season. that they can't get rid of. That's an interesting theory. And so they give them away and then they stick to government because it is such a nice thing for some tax break or who knows what. I am of a different opinion, bud. Yeah, I'm sure you are. I don't want to bore you with it. Well, we already know what it is. Well, but it is true that we do have a problem with world population.

1:30:53 So it's true. No, it's true. You know and what we're doing is we're saving ourselves from every you know, you're protected everywhere you go You can't fall off a bike and die anymore because you were got to wear the damn helmet You know you there's just no easy way to go anymore to the bathroom surprising amount of people who die in their bathroom but you know, we are growing out of control and it's What is it? What is it logarithmic is or exponential? We need to have some sort of a famine Yeah, usually there's a famine. Usually what happens is pestilences. The population of the world is self-controlling because it either has a famine because they can't make enough food for everybody or they have a war because everybody's bumping into each other too much and you get kind of annoyed by that and you start taking a swing.

1:31:41 Or you have a plague, some pestilence. Spanish flu, which was the last time you had a big one. And that has to do with people again being too many people, to get too many people in a confined area and then something takes off. I mean if you had Ebola in New York, Manhattan, can you imagine how long that would, I mean you'd have the population of the city be dead in 24 hours. Right. I'm just on the subway. I mean, so that's so follow my logic. You get the free flu shots, which of course is just think about the Spanish flu. They dug that guy up, by the way. They took his DNA so they could find out what that flu virus was. They've injected it into service people, lots of people are dying in the military from injections that are documented. They're experimenting all over the place and now it's time, hey, if you, it's actually 60 to 64, 65 and over don't get it because they'll just, you know, why waste a good flu shot on killing that person? They're gonna die anyway. Let's just get the 60 to 64 year olds. I guarantee you this is a part of a eugenicist death program.

1:32:45 This is good that you have this kind of material though, it's a lifesaver the way I see it. Because otherwise... Well, otherwise people would be taking the show seriously and then we'd have, you know, the two shots of the head and the... And the gun in your hand. But remember, I'm right-handed, so if they put it in my left hand, I didn't fire those two shots at my own head, okay? So I hear the music coming in, devorek.org slash N A. He's like, uh, I hear the music coming in. We've been on for what? How long? Uh, one hour thirty-three minutes. That's about right. That's about right. I don't know, I had a weird feeling about this show. What do you mean? I don't know. It felt kind of discombobulated. I did not think it was that much different than the last show, which was kind of all over the map. True. Hey, do you like the new format for the show notes? A lot of- I was surprised. I thought it was shit and people liked it.

1:33:41 People like different things. It's weird. I just did a redesign on the... Some like chili peppers that are natural and grow in the wild, some like them from Monsanto. We just did a redesign of the blog and it's got like people up in arms. The comment thing doesn't work right is the problem. That's... yeah, you can't take away features, man. People really hate it when features go. Well, they didn't go, it's just that it's funky. Coming to you from the command line crackpot command center in the southwest quadrant of London and Gitmo nation east I'm Adam Curry and from the DOS is not dead contingent and I'm moving to Ubuntu by the way. I'm John C. Dvorak